Disclaimer: Don't own Percy Jackson or KHR.

Pairings: Poseidon/Fem!Tsuna, Nicercy, other
Warnings: Fem!Tsuna. Boss!Tsuna. 20YearOld!Tsuna. Tsuna-is-Sally. Fem!Percy. Swearing.
Notes: So this was created on a whim. Sorry about the misspelling, grammar, etcetera.


Chapter 01: 'Accident'-ing Math Teachers Runs In My Blood


Let's get one thing clear. I did not want to be a freaking Half-Blood.

If you think your one, close the book right now, leave and never turn back. I'll give you some advice; believe whatever your parents told you, and you'll probably stay safe for a while. That is, if you aren't like me. If you are...well, then you're screwed.

Let me warn you that if you're a Half-Blood, you usually live a life full of crazy shit, grumpy old drunks who were banned from wine, and death. Yup, plenty of death. Plenty of horrifying, painful death that never ends painlessly. Being boiled bit by bit, having all your fingers cut off, being torched by your uncle, falling from national monuments, etcetera etcetera.

If you're a normal kid – or at least think you're normal – and you're reading this just for amusement, well, fuck you. Or, if you're less annoying, keep calm and read on. ;-)

But if you recognise yourself – or anyone you know, or anyone that anyone knows – in these pages and if you feel something stirring inside stop reading immediately and run for the hills. Or Half-Blood hill. Either would be fine. Or run to Aunt Chrome. She's nice.

Anyway, if you do feel something stirring, you're probably like us. And no, we are not a freaking cult! So yeah, contact the Vindice immediately and they'll send someone to escorts you.

Wait...how did they learn about Half-Bloods? ...Probably for being mummy-fied for most of their lives. Yeah, I do not want to got into detail. But if you must know, it involves a lot of pacifiers, flames, and rainbows. And Checkers, definitely Checkers.

(If you recognise that name, run for your lives!)

But if you ignore my advice, in a matter of time they will come after you. When that happens, er...they may or may not come – because they sensed you knew – and they will most likely kill you.

Confusing right? I wasn't exactly raised with this knowledge, but I had a feeling. Perhaps they did come for me and were torched by mom or one of the Guardians. Or Reborn. My very overprotective, overly-sadistic godfather. Even though the latters didn't know what they were.

My name's Percy Jackson. I'm twelve and your regular day to day boarding student at Yancy Academy. It's a private school for ahem troubled kids in upstate New York.

Now am I a troubled kid?

Perhaps. Hayato-ojisan, and a lot of other people, always say so. I don't get it. You destroy HQ when you're five with only a banana peel and you're banned for life. What's with that?

Okay, anyway, everything became a bit crazy – crazier in my case – when we, meaning my sixth grade class, went to Manhattan last May. I personally think the staff were crazy – I mean, twenty something mental-case kids and only two teachers inside a gods forbid yellow school bus. Uh hello? I have nothing against Sun Yellow – Ryohei-ojisan would make me deaf if I did – but hello? It was mustard yellow. Mustard. I know – Ugh.

We were heading to the Metropolitan Museum of Art to look at ancient Greek and Roman shit. Yeah my language. Being around Xanxus-teme and the Varia – and Independent Assassination Squad, best in the biz – made me learn some words. Did you know that my mum once out cursed Xanxus-teme in a swear off when I was three. Apparently, my mom was scary.

Back to the museum. I hate museums. They bring back memories of the torture Reborn put me through. Shivers. Electrocutions, drowning, 10 ton mallets, kicks... You get my point; Reborn is one sadistic motherfucker.

(Somewhere in Vongola HQ, a certain Hitman sneezed.)

The people leading our trip were Mr, Brunner and Mrs. Dodds. Downright awesome and bitchy respectively. I liked the latter of the two. He was cool in my books. He was an older man in a motorised wheelchair. Thinning hair, a scruffy beard and a frayed tweed jacket, which always smelled like coffee. That reminded me of Reborn. Espresso addict.

He doesn't sound cool, but he told awesome stories and jokes and let us play games in class. He also had this awesome collection of Roman armour and weapons, so he was the only teacher whose class didn't put me to sleep. Yeah I sleep in class. I already knew those things. Three words. Tutor Extraordinare Reborn.

I really hoped that during this trip I wouldn't be bad. I mean, have you seen my okaa-san's sad looks? They make you fall to your knees and beg for mercy. Trust me, I've seen some traitors do it.

Anyway, trip, gonna be good. Definitely.

(Later, I would cursed the damned Sawada luck.)

Bad things tend to happen on the field trips I go on. Last year we went to the Sara-something battlefield, and I may or may not accidentally had an incident with a Revolutionary War cannon. The bus would never be the same again, and then I got expelled. Cue sad look I was given by okaa-san. Hey! She did worse than I did. I remember Reborn telling me one time she literally went diving of a three story roof top. Yeah.

And the year before that we were on a behind-the-scenes tour of the Marine World shark pool, I sort of leaned against the wall, and the next thing I know our class took an unplanned swim with the sharks. The sharks literally cuddled against me. That scared the living shit out of me. And the time before that the Banana Peel War II happened. Never again.

Never. Again.

But this trip, I was determined to be good. Or at least try.

All the way to the museum, I had put up with Nancy Bobofit, a freckly, redheaded kleptomaniac girl, hitting my best friend Grover in the back of the head with chunks of peanut butter-and-ketchup sandwich. Who eats peanut butter and ketchup? Together?

Well, he was my civilian, normal best friend. My Guardians and the Shimon and Yuni-chan were my crazy best friends. Well, more Yuni-chan and my other friend, daughter of Enma Kozato, Mami. Naming you baby girl after your murdered baby sister...wow Enma-ojisan. The rest were more like family to me.

Anyway, in my – and most of the bullies' – opinion Grover was an easy target. He was scrawny. He even cried when he got frustrated. That reminded me of Lambo-ojisan. I always assumed he was held back a few grades, 'cause he was the only sixth grader with acne and the start of a beard on his chin. Beards reminded me of Dumbledore. Aberforth Dumbledore, not Albus. I hate Albus.

To top that all off, he was crippled. He had a note excusing him from PE for the rest of his life – lucky bastard – because he had some kind of muscular disease in his legs. I find that hard to believe, even though he walks like every step is torture to him. Why? Two words. Enchilada day. On those days he ran like hellhounds – or Bianchi with a dish of her poison cooking – were after him.

As Nancy Bobofit – what kind of name is that? Even Ryohei-ojisan has better naming skills! – continued throwing pieces of the sandwich in Grover's hair I became even more angry. I cursed being on probation. The Headmaster threatened me with death – Hayato-ojisan would probably murder him – by in-school suspension. Yeah I know, torture right? And if anything bad, embarrassing, or even mildly entertaining happened on this trip, hello in-school suspension, goodbye freedom.

"I'm going to fucking kill her," I muttered angrily. Hell hath no fury like a Vongola pissed off. That was at least, what Byakuran-freak would always say.

Grover tried to calm me down. Keyword: tried. "It's okay. I like peanut butter." In your hair?! I wanted to ask him but my eyes darkened when he dodged another piece of that bitch's lunch.

"That's it." I started to get up to beat the shit out of Bobofit, but Grover pulled me back to my seat.

"You're already on probation," he reminded me with a frown, "You know who'll get blamed if anything happens."

Later, I would've thought that in-school suspension was nothing compared to the crazy shit that I would get myself into in the following years.

The most awesome teacher – Mr. Brunner – let the museum tour.

He was in the front in his wheelchair, leading us through the large, creepy galleries, past even creepier statues and some cases full of old pottery. Ha. Pottery. Nothing? No? Well, that's disappointing.

My eyes lingered on the cases, thinking about how the stuff survived for three thousand years. No. More than a few thousand years. After all, the world was built millennia ago.

He gathered us around a thirteen-foot-tall stone column with a big sphinx – Harry Potter! – on the top, and started telling us how it was a grave marker, a stele, for a girl about our age. He told us about the carvings on the sides. I was ignoring him entirely, in favour of looking at everything else. Everyone around me were whispering to each other, and every time I glared at them, the other bitchiest teacher of all time, Mrs. Dodds, would give me the evil eye.

My eyes darkened when I remembered that if I wasn't careful I could end up like the girl any day. Any minute, any second. I chuckled humourlessly. That was the life of a Vongola. At least the others could be around their parents. I couldn't, because that would mean that the possibility of being assassinated skyrocketed.

"–Jackson?" I blinked in surprise when my eyes focussed back in and I saw everyone staring at me. I raised my hands on instinct and blurted out: "It wasn't me!" The other kids burst out laughing – I even saw Grover snickering! – while Mr. Brunner sigh and look about ready to facepalm, but he thankfully didn't.

Thank Primo, that would've made me embarassed even more than I am. Mrs. Dodds was trying to kill me with her eyes.

From the day we met, Mrs. Dodds adored Bobofit and figured I was devil spawn. Which I'm not... I don't think I am, but with my okaa-san you never know. I wouldn't be surprised if a kami fell in love with her.

Anywho...

She would point her crooked finger at me and say with false sweetness, "Now, honey," and I knew I was going to get after-school detention for a month. Yeah, torture. And you know what she makes me do? She made me erase answers out of old text books until midnight. Midnight, people! If I didn't know better, I'd say she was Reborn's sister. But that would be an insult to him.

Okay, and this one time I told Grover that I suspected she wasn't human, he looked at me serious for one, and said: "You're absolutely right."

My mother made me read about Greek mythology and when I asked, she said they were real. She said monsters were real – to a six year old! Yeah, I never went to Hollywood again after that. Why? Let's just say, I hate chiwawas. Evil creatures they are.

I'm getting rather off topic right? So she told me monsters were real when I was six and handed me a dagger. ...Not the smartest thing to do, but I went along with it. So yeah, Dodds was probably a monster and I was probably screwed.

"Ms. Jackson," Mr. Brunner's voice once again snapped me out of my thoughts. Oh yeah, did I forget to mention that I was a girl? No? ...Oh, well this is awkward...

"Yes, sir?"

"Now that you're back on Earth," His eyes shined with amusement as I turned red, "Perhaps you can tell us what this picture represents?" I looked at the carving, and frowned. This was one of the Greek myths I hated the most.

"That's Kronos eating his childen." I said evenly with a dark glare on my face. What kind of disgusting creature would eat his children? It reminded me of Mukuro's stories of the Estraneo famiglia, and what they did to the children in their care.

Mr. Brunner looked at me pointedly, his eyes telling me to continue. I scowled, "Kronos was the king God–" Mr. Brunner's eyebrows shot up. I flushed. "Sorry – he was the King of Titans. He didn't trust his kids because of something. A Prophecy or something like that. Or was it a curse?" I shrugged. "So Kronos ate them–" A few of the girls gagged behind me, "–but Rhea, his wife, hid the youngest, baby Zeus, and gave him a rock to eat instead. I have no idea how he confused a rock with a baby, but he was probably stupid–"

Mr. Brunner and Grover looked like they were going to have a heart attack. Even Dodds looked pale when I called Kronos an idiot. "–So Zeus grew up, tricked his dad – if you could even call him that – into barfing up his brothers and sisters–"

"Ew!" Some of the girls said behind me.

"–Hestia, Hera, Demeter, Hades, and Poseidon. And after that there was a big fight, the gods kicked Titan ass, and they won. The end." Now even Dodds looked to be having a heart attack.

Some snickers from the group. Some even muttered "Nerd", "Geek", or even some were bold enough to say "Freak".

I raised an eyebrow at Mr. Brunner. "Um..?"

Behind me, Bobofit mumbled to a friend – scratch that, more like minion, "Like we're going to use this in real life. Like it's going to say on our job applications, 'Please explain why Kronos ate his kids.'"

"And why, Ms. Jackson," Brunner finally said, although he was a bit pale, much to my confusion, "to paraphrase Ms. Bobofit's excellent question, does this matter in real life?"

"Busted," Grover muttered. My eye twitched.

"Shut up," Nancy hissed, her face even brighter red than her hair. Which was not pretty. Trust me.

Mr. Brunner was the only one who ever caught her saying anything bad. Be it insults, or even curses. He had radar ears. Kinda like Natsu and the other Box Animals.

I answered his question with a bit of amusement. "Well, what would happen if you went to Greece and insulted the wrong deity? Some people still worship them, and trust me, you don't what to get on their bad side." I shuddered, remembering the time a young boy tried to skewer me, "That also applies to countries like Japan."

"I see." Mr. Brunner sighed. "Well, half credit, Ms. Jackson." Excuse me? I answered it! "Zeus did indeed feed Kronos a mixture of mustard and wine, which made him disgorge his other five children, who, of course, being immortal gods, had been living and growing up completely undigested in the Titan's stomach. The gods defeated their father, sliced him to pieces with his own scythe, and scattered his remains in Tartarus, the darkest part of the Underworld. On that happy note, it's time for lunch. Mrs. Dodds, would you lead us back outside?" I stared at him. Was he serious? You tell us all that barf worthy shit, and then you say, 'On that happy note, it's time for lunch.'?

Some of the brats looked greenas they were shuffled outside. Some of the boys were acting like total idiots, pushing each other around. Before me and Grover could step outside, Mr. Brunner called out to me. "Ms. Jackson?"

I knew that was gonna happen. It always does.

I sighed and said to Grover. "Go on. I'll meet you at the fountain, Wild Guy." He snorted, casting Mr. Brunner a glance, before walking off. "I'll be waiting, Filly." I sputtered as he walked off. Did he just call me a female horse under the age of three?

Mr. Brunner sweatdropped – which was strangely possible. Why, were we in some kind of anime?

...Forget I ever asked.

"Mr. Brunner?"

Mr. Brunner had this look that wouldn't let you go – intense, knowing brown eyes that could've been a thousand years old and had seen everything. A shiver crawled up my spine as I remembered I saw that look in the eyes of Kawahira-ojisan – sometimes even Yuni-chan and Aria-obasan. The look of knowing the world's secrets, of being there to see them created.

"You're answer today was quite..."He coughed. I shrugged, understanding what he was getting at. My answer was brash, uncouth, and everything between and beyond. But that was how I roll.

"You didn't answer my question about how all this applied to real life." He told me quietly.

I glared at him angrily. But I did answer it, I wanted to protest.

"What you learn from me," he continued, ignoring my glare with what I recognised as practised ease, "is vitally important. I expect you to treat it as such. I will accept only the best from you, Percy Jackson."

I really felt like punching this guy. He expected me to know everything. But I didn't really get what he was talking about. I answered the freaking question, so why did he say I kinda got it wrong?

Sure, he was kinda cool. On tournament days he dressed up in a suit of Roman armor and shouted "What ho!" – which, I did not know the meaning of – and challenged us with his sword(fake?)-point against chalk, to run to the board and name every Greek and Roman person who had ever lived, and their mother, and what god they worshipped. I know, impossible right?

But Mr. Brunner expected me to be as good as everybody else, despite the fact that I have dyslexia and ADHD and I had never made above a C in my life. Not because I was stupid, but because I didn't care. And Reborn did force me to learn English, Japanese, Italian, Latin, German, Spanish and Greek. In his words, every Vongola and their ally needed to learn at least seven languages. But Greek did come natural to me.

He didn't expect me to be as good as anyone – he expected me to be better. And I just couldn't learn all those names and facts, much less spell them correctly, on a whim. Despite Reborn teaching me, I only got the basic speling and the verbal part down. Everything else? ...No comment.

"I'll try harder..." I muttered half-heartedly, shifting slightly. He looked at the girl's stele sadly, as if he'd been at the girl's funeral.

"You can go eat your lunch, ." I nodded and walked out of the museum just as the class gathered on the front steps of the museum.

I felt a shiver crawl up my spine as overhead, a storm was brewing, with clouds blacker than the Vindice's Night. I'd never seen any cloud act like this. Maybe it was global warming, 'cause ever since December the weather has gone crazy all over New York. Massive snow storms, floods, wilfires because of lightning, etcetera etcetera. Perhaps it's a hurricane? I wouldn't be surprised if it was.

But nobody else seemed to notice though. The boys – except Grover – were pelting some poor pigeons with some crackers, Bobofit was pickpocketing a poor, unsuspecting lady, and of course, Dodds didn't notice a single thing.

Grover and I sat on the fountain, the rocky part, and away from the others. If we did that, maybe the passerbys wouldn't know we were from that school – the school for freaks, losers, and nobodies. Sadly, they did and they avoided us.

"You got detention, Filly?" Grover asked me with a frown. I glared at him without heat. "Nah. And don't call me a baby horse."

Grover made a strange coo-ing "Well to me you are. Especially short." A tick formed above my eye. I was not short! So what if I was a head shorter than any eleven year old girl – and I was turning twelve in a few months – hell, even shorter than some ten year olds!? It was at times like these that I cursed my mother and grandmother. Their short-ness passed onto me.

"But I sometimes wish he'd leave me be. I'm not a genius." Grover snorted, "You aren't."

After that, what happened could only be described awkward silence, before Wild Boy broke it. Maybe he was gonna say something deep or something, but instead, he said something that caused me to laugh. "Can I have your apple, Filly?"

I handed him the apple.

I pulled the long, dark orange scarf I got from Dino-ojisan, kaa-san's honorary brother figure, up to cover my nose. It was long, reaching my knees even when it was tied around my neck. It's a special scarf Dino-ojisan asked Spanner-san to creat when I was six. It's fireproof and pretty much invincible. The reason why I wear it is... unimportant, but I always wear it. Right now, though, I have it covering the the bottom of my face.

I sighed, but this time because of all the families that were walking past. One in particular caught my eyes; a mother with a daughter about my age, laughing together. It reminded me of my own kaa-san; 'Sally Jackson'. She'd hug me, and smile her smile that made even the coldest of people – Xanxus-teme, Mammon, Kyōya-ojisan, and sometimes even Bermuda – smile and relax. She would be disappointed, though, and ask me to return to Yancy, and tell me I was the greatest daughter. How can she still say that when this is my sixth school since I was six?

It was at times like those that I remembered what people call her. The Tainted Saint. She was a cruel woman to her enemies, and those that defied the sacred rules of Vongola and Vindice, but was kind to her family, friends and allies.

Out of the corner of my eye I spotted Mr. Brunner, eating celery with some kind of a novel in his hand. I giggled when I saw an umbrella struck up from the back of the wheelchair. It made it look like one of those crazy things that Spanner, Shōichi, Verde-san, Talbot-ojiisama, and Haru-obasan would try to make. Crazy bunch they are, but it would be nice to have one.

I was interrupted out of my observations by a crooked teethed, redheaded girl. She had orange freckles that looked as if someone spray-painted her face with liquid-y Cheetos. Not pretty. And she was a literal insult to the colour orange. And I unfortunately knew her, as she was the bully that bullies Grover; Nancy Bobofit. Her almost-as-ugly as her 'friends' were standing behind her.

"Oops." She grinned at me mockingly and dumped her half-eaten lunch onto poor Grover's lap.

I snapped. Ignoring the voice – which sounded suspiciously like Kyōko-obasan's – that said "Count to ten, and control that temper of yours, hime-chan." But I was mad. So, so mad. This little girl has bullied everyone from day one, and she thinks she can just get away with it?! My face adopted a calm mask, one that the descendants of Giotto di Vongola used when they were Pissed. Bobofit's, her friend's, and even Grover's eyes widened in fear, but a wave roared somewhere near me, and I blanked.

And the next thing I know, Bobofit was in the fountain on her ass, screaming something about me pushing her. I was confused.

Then Dodds literally appeared next to me. I couldn've sworn she wasn't anywhere near the fountain.

I perked up when I heard whispers.

"Did you see–"

"–The water–"

"–Like it grabbed her–"

But the one that caught my interest was; "–her eyes turned orange–"

I frowned. The only reason my eyes would turn orange would be if my Flames were close to activate. But one of the things that I never had practice in were the Flames of Sky, which I had been unable to access. So...

My thoughts were interrupted by Dodds, who grabbed my shoulder with her hand. I flinched at the tight hold she had on me. I looked up and saw a sort of triumphant look in her eyes. It looked as if this was what she was waiting for all semester.

"Now, honey–"

"I know, I know." I muttered "Erasing the books till summer."

That, apparently, wasn't the smartest thing to say. Somewhere in my mind I remember Mukuro once telling me "Rule 7: Never, ever guess your punishment." Dodds grip tightened on my shoulder. I flinched.

"Come with me." Dodds started pulling me towards the museum entrance, but Grover interrupted.

"Wait!" Grover sounded panicked. "It was me that pushed Nancy. Filly–er, Percy didn't do it!" I was surprised. It was a well known fact that Dodds scared him to death among the Yancy population. So why was he trying to cover for me?

His whiskery chin trembled at her death glare.

"I don't think so, Mr. Underwood," she said with a sickly sweet smile, her eyes practically sparkling at Grover's slip up.

"But–" He started to protest. Aww, that was so sweet of him.

"You. Will. Stay. Here." She ordered him. He looked at me desperately, as if trying to convey something to me. But what?

"It's okay, Wild Guy." I smiled at him reassuringly. "I'll be fine." I froze when I felt my Primo forsaken Hyper Intuition thrum in warning. What was that?

"Honey. Now." I mentally laughed at that. I couldn't help but imagine her wanting honey, like right freaking now.

I saw Bobofit out of the corner of my eye, giving me a smug smirk. I gave her my deluxe I'll-Kill-You-Later stare. It was created with the help of Skull-chan – who surprisingly had a scary stare – and perfected with the help of Reborn.

I turned around, suddenly noticing the death hold Dodds hadon my shoulder was gone, and saw said teacher standing at the museum's entrance. Which was at the top of the steps. She sent me an impatient look. What the hell?

How'd she get there so fast? I tensed, my Hyper Intuition going crazy. Something was not right.

Normally, I'd blaim my ADHD – it was surprisingly one of the things Reborn could not, and would not, get rid of. Maybe it's because he too, had it, and it helped him a lot of times? Hmm, almost everyone I knew had ADHD... – because I'd have 'moments'. Like my brain would blank out, and the next thing I knew, I missed something, as if a puzzle piece fell out of the universe and left me staring at the blank place behind it. The school counselor told me, on many, many occasions, this was part of my ADHD.

Normally, I'd think that. But... My Hyper Intuition was screaming at me to get the hell out of here. I winced. I was sure to have one hell of a headache – or migraine – after this. I was sure of that.

Little did I know, that a headach wasn't the only thing I'd get.

I started walking up towards Dodds

I went after Mrs. Dodds, but halfway to the entrance, I glanced back at Grover. He was as pale as a ghost. He was glancing between me and Mr. Brunner frantically. If I didn't know better, I'd say he wanted him to notice that Dodds was taking me away. But, Mr. Brunner was too interested in his novel, which I now recognised as Hobbit. Never read it, even though I got it like two years ago. (A/N: True story)

I turned back around, and noticed that Dodds had disappeared again, but this time she was already at the end of the entrance hall thing. I suppressed a whimper at the feeling of my Hyper Intuition screaming at me. It felt like my head was splitting open. Though, I couldn't hold in the grimace.

She was probably gonna make me buy Bobofit a new shirt from the gift shop.

Boy, was I wrong.

I followed her back to the Greek and Roman section we were in before. The gallery was empty, if you didn't count us.

Dodds stood in front of some sort of frieze with her arms crossed. She was making a sound, sort of like growling – wait, she was growling. What sort of person growls, for Ottava's sake?

(Runrunrungoawaydangerdangerdangergetoutofheremonstermonsterrunrunrunfight) My Intuition screamed at me, but what caught my attention was the last word. Fight. Why would I have to fight?

"You've been giving us problems, honey." I raised an eyebrow. What was with this woman? And what's with the honey?

"Sure?" I agreed nervously. Coupled with her growling, my Intuition and Dodds, I was getting pretty weirded out.

"Did you honestly think you would get away with it?" I looked at her weirdly. Get away with what exactly?

The look in her eyes... It reminded me of Bermuda's, when he was angry. But her look, it had an almost evil feeling. I had a feeling she was gonna try and hurt me. The more rational part of my mind whispered (But she's a teacher). I would've agreed with it, if it wasn't for my Intuition. It was screaming once again.

"I'm a bit confused here, Mrs. Dodds." I said, a bit unsure. What was she talking about. It's asif she thinks I stole something.

I flinched when thunder shook the building. A storm was brewing, and I wasn't sure if it was the weather type or not. Or maybe it was both.

She glared at me. "We are not fools, Percy Jackson. It was only a matter of time before we found you out. Confess, and you will suffer less pain." I stared at her blankly. Again, what the hell was she talking about? It was only a matter of time before we found you out. And Suffer less pain.? What the hell?

Did they find the illegal stash I candy I smuggled in, which was in my dorm room? Or maybe they found out I burned the Tom Sawyer book and just copied an essay from the internet? Or maybe... I paled. They found out I was the heir to a mafia family, Vongola?

Well, if it's the last one, I'm screwed. And I should probably call kaa-san and get the hell out of here.

"Well?" she demanded, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Ma'am, I swear, I'm not Vongola's..."

"Your time is up," she hissed, a bit confused from what I could tell.

Then, probably one of the weirdest things happened. Her eyes began to glow like Bermuda's Flames as her fingers stretched and turned into talons. The jacket she always wore melted into large and leathery winds. Her mouth was full of large, sharp and definitely ugly teeth. In that moment I realised she wasn't human, I realised that my suspicions were true. But from which famiglia was she from?

You see, kaa-san told me that a certain famiglia called Inferno – quite ironic since it means hell or underworld in Italian. Strange, since I never heard of it, and when I asked Reborn, he said he didn't know of it. And she told me their boss was called Hades. Suspicious if you tell me. – had gotten a bit too interested in Greek mythology. Specifically, the monster part. So she had me read all sorts of Greek myths. And well, things happened and now Inferno had fake-monsters under their control.

And I probably would've figured out which myth the shriveled up hag with bat wings – now that's an insult to Ulquiorra, if you get my reference – claws and a mouth full of sharp teeth was, if she wasn't about to slice me up into little Percy pieces.

Then things got a lil' bit stranger, if that was even possible. Gods, this reminded me of the time Mukuro had an actual pineapple on his head. Yeah...

Anyway, Mr. Brunner – I assume he finally noticed Dodds spirited me away – wheeled his chair, which went surprisingly fast, into the doorway of the gallery. He had a pen in his hand. A pen. A freaking pen.

"What ho, Percy!" he shouted, tossing the pen through the air. I wanted to scream in frustration.

The monster Dodds lunged at me. I was officially screwed.

I ducked just in time as the–the thing sailed over me, whith her talons just grazing my ear. It created a small, barely noticeable cut. I outstretched my hand to catch the ballpoint pen. I rolled out of the way of another slash, and she once again sailed over me, nearer to Mr. Brunner. Dodds crashed into the wall.

Oh why did I have to leave my crossbow in my dorm room? I turned to him, my expression incredulous. I held up the pen. "What the hell is this?"

"It's a very powerful weapon." Mr. Brunner 'explained'. I was sceptical. I've seen many things that are powerful weapons. Forks, tridents, tonfas, motorcycles, needles, frying pans, wooden spoons, food *cough*Bianchi*cough*, horns, owls, dogs, sparrows, umbrellas, wands, brooms, paper, hell, even violins. But I don't think a pen belongs in the 'powerful' category.

"This is a pen." I said slowly, as if explaining it to a child.

He nodded. I sighed, and threw rationality out of the window. "This is a fucking ballpoint pen, you idiota." I glared at him. "What the fanculo is a biro supposed to do, you caffè dedito figlio di un uomo puttana!?" I screeched, slipping between English and Italian. And trust me, what I said was not anywhere near nice.

"What am I supposed to do with it? Poke her eye?!" I glared at the semi-calm teacher, which I was starting to doubt he was.

He cleared his throat, pointing to something behind me. I turned and saw a very annoyed, very murderous Dodds.

"I don't suppose we could talk this out, eh?" I grinned sheepishly. Dodds lunged at me. I guess we can't. Well screw you too.

"Uncap the pen!" Mr. Brunner shouted at me, letting a bit of panic slip into his voice. Okay, so I guess plan C – for Crazy – poke her eye out is gonna commence.

Before Dodds could make contact with me – and possibly rip me to shreds – I uncapped the pen. And much to my surprise – I'm surprised that anything can surprise me anymore. I've seen a lot of crazy shit in my life. – the pen turned into a sword. Very much the same sword that he brought on the tournament days. Well, I guess poking Dodds' eyes now is a bit more realistic.

And pens have officially joined in on the 'powerful' category.

She snarled when she saw the former-pen-current-sword in my hands. The sword just seemed to make her more pissed. "Die, honey!" Despite the situation – aka me very much about to be eradicated – I couldn't help but think of her screaming that at a jar of honey.

Now, I'm not the best swordsman – that title belongs to Squalo and Takeshi-ojisan – around, but I wasn't bad. At least, I didn't think so. I at least could at least cut something off.

(A/N: Not good with describing fights but at least I tried.)

I dodged to the left, years of training with Reborn, or anyone that helped, awakening. Turning to the side I kicked her stomach. She flinched slightly, but turned around to face me. "Spero che tu marcisca all'inferno, cagna." And then I did something that came pretty naturally to me: I swung the sword.

The blade connected with her shoulder and passed clean through, as if she was made of water.

She exploded into thousand pieces of golden dust, vaporising on the spot. Nothing was left but the smell of sulfur (the hell?) and a dying screech full of anger and hate, maybe a bit of disbelief too. I felt a chilly evil flowing through the air, as if those glowing red eyes were still watching me.

I blinked. And I was alone. With the newly Ballpoint Pen of Awesomeness™ in my hands, once again a pen.

No one, but me, was in the gallery. Not even Mr. Brunner. Not even the gold dust. Just me. And BPO – aka Ballpoint Pen of Awesomeness. But it wasn't exactly a human...

I was confused. A hell of a lot of confused. Was this all a prank, from Mukuro or Fran or someone?(No) My Intuition whispered. This sure as hell was not a prank. And I wasn't exactly sure Dodds was some kind of an experiment of the Inferno famiglia.

Or perhaps I had finally given up on sanity and had imagined all this? (Nowayinhell) Okay, Intuition. I believe you.

...Not one word about that.

I shrugged and walked back outside. I looked up. It seemed in my absence it had started to rain.

Grover was sitting by the fountain, a museum map held over his head as a form of umbrella. Bobofit was still standing where I left her, though out of the fountain, and still totally soaked. She was grumbling things to her 'friends' slash minions. When she saw me, she staled over with a smirk. "I hopr Mrs. Kerr whipped your but.

I stared at her blankly. What? "Who?"

I don't remember having a teacher Mrs. Kerr last time I checked. "Okay..?"

She walked away.

I made my way over to Grover, and handed him a spare umbrella which he gratefully took. "Where's Mrs. Dodds?" I asked him casually enough.

He paused, looking hesitant, averting his eyes. "What are you talking about, F-Filly?" He stuttered. My Hyper Intuition laughed at his poor excuse of trying to lie.

"Stop horsing around. I'm serious." He stayed silent so I sighed.

Thunder thundered above us. I always thought thunder was such a drama queen.

I turned to look at my awesome teacher, Mr. Brunner. He was reading his book, as if he had never even moved.

I shrugged and walked over to him.

He looked a bit distracted. "Ah, that would be my pen, Ms. Jackson. Next time, please bring your own writing utensil in the future." He smiled a bit and outstretched his hand.

I raised an eyebrow at him. Did he honestly think I would give him BPO? I smiled. "I'm sorry, Mr. Brunner. But it appears that you are mistaken. I got this pen from my mother." His eyes narrowed a bit, not believing a word I said.

I waved over two girls from my class, twins, and friends of mine. The first girl had long, wavy bright-as-sun hair and large blue-green eyes. She was small, a bit on the petite side, and had large, pointy ears that only I, Mr. Brunner and Grover seem to notice. Her sister also had long bright-as-sun hair, but her's was straight, and only reached mid back while her sister's reached her knees, and her forest green eyes were sharper. She also had large, pointy teeth. The sisters had faint green veins under their long shirts (I noticed when we were in the changing room), reflective eyes, and they both smelt like pine needles and woodsmoke with a hint of flowers.

The two girls were Lifa (the older, wavy haired one) and Eira (the younger, straight haired one) Soleil. They were also my roommates.

"Hey guys." I greeted them cheerfully. "Mr. Brunner here," I gestured to the flabbergasted teacher, "Seems to think this," I held up BPO, "Is his pen. But my k–er, mom was the one who sent me this in exchange for me doing nothing stupid. You two were there when I got it right. She sent it along with a letter, right?"

Eira, although looking a bit confused, at which I sent a 'I'll-Explain-Later' look, told Mr. Brunner. "Yeah. Mrs. Jackson sent it last week. Me and Lifa were there when she got it." With that she and Lifa walked away.

I smiled at Mr. Brunner innocently. "See? It is my pen." I said a bit smugly. "By the way, where's Mrs. Dodds? You know, the math teacher."

He stared at me blankly. "Who?"

"Ya know, math teacher. Leather jacket, bitchy, and ugly as hell?"

He looked mildly concerned, though annoyance shown in his eyes. "Percy, there hasn't ever been a Mrs. Dodds at Yancy Academy. Ever. Are you feeling all right?" He paused. "And watch your language young lady." He said sternly.

Perhaps if I didn't have my Hyper Intuition, I would've believed him. He was a rather convincing actor, opposite to Grover. My Intuition may not have been as powerful as kaa-san's, but it wasn't weak either.

I looked at him a bit suspiciously as I walked back over to Grover. Something had happened. Something big. And I was going to get to the bottom of it. And I assumed it had something to do with me, Mrs. Dodds, Mr. Brunner, Grover and the 'we' she mentioned. And the weather had been crazy since the Winter Solstice. Earthquakes, storms, wildfires started by rogue thunder, floods... Maybe that had something to do with the things that had happened today.

But my question was: What had happened on the Solstice, and what does it have to do with me?


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