Author's note:

Hey! Sorry its been so long since I've written anything. I finished school now so I have lots of free time. However I am suffering from slight writers block at the moment and that's why I decided to start a new story to get me back into the swing of things.

Anyway this story will be rated M but the main reason is because I'm paranoid. Also the sequel to this story will have to be rated M anyway. So I decided to do the story justice and not hold back.

This first chapter is a little short but they will get much longer I promise.

Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all- including any direct quotes used. No copyright infringement intended.

This is set during Breaking Dawn and everything is the same as in the books up until this point.

Oh and any Team Edward members, please don't give me any flames. I love Edward too and remember that this is just a story from a silly Irish girl. (Raven-Rach [BN]: Yay, more stories from Áine!! Whoo hoo! Ok, better go proof-read- seriously, best job ever lol, I get to read everything first! Enjoy people, don't forget to review, we all know Áine deserves it =P )

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Sorry Isn't Strong Enough

Chapter One

Bella's POV

The past weeks on Isle Esme were indescribable, but I never thought that we would be heading home like this.

Edward and I were already a couple of hours into our flight back home from Rio de Janeiro. Edward had been silent the entire flight so far. He just continuously stared out the window of the plane. I wanted to talk to him but he didn't really respond and not to mention my own emotions have gone haywire.

It has only been hours since I found out I was pregnant, but I already know that in my heart and soul this is want I want. I want this child… Our child. I want to raise him… Or even her. See their first steps, the way their face would light up on Christmas morning or even being there on their wedding day. I want it all. No, I need it all. Edward, on the other hand, I'm not so sure.

When we discovered I was pregnant I never wanted to read Edward's mind more in my entire life. I finally understood why Edward gets so frustrated because of the fact he's unable to hear my thoughts. That moment when Edward froze in shock I would have given anything to hear what he was thinking.

I remember his words exactly. The moment he said them it was like my heart broke.

"We're going to get that thing out before it can hurt any part of you. Don't be scared. I won't let it hurt you."

His words keep on repeating over and over in my head. I can't believe that he doesn't want this child. His child. If anything I thought Edward would have wanted the traditional family, white picket fence the lot but no, he wants our child aborted

I first thought it was because he didn't want the child but I've come to realise that that's not the problem at all. He's afraid that the baby will hurt me. He mumbled something about our bodies not being compatible. I can understand that, the baby is half vampire after all but what I couldn't understand was how Edward could pick my life over our unborn child's.

If something did happen to me he could change me before it's too late. I don't know why he is so worried though. Other than the few pregnancy symptoms, so far I feel fine. Maybe this wouldn't be as hard as he thinks. I do understand that he just doesn't want me to get hurt or even to lose me, and I can't be mad at him for that.

As soon as I realised he wasn't exactly happy about this I called Rosalie. Though she was just as surprised that I rang her as I was. I knew she would support me and she is doing just that. I knew about her maternal side and she said she would meet me at the airport. Maybe even Esme could help me. I would give everything and anything for it to be Edward by my side though.

I noticed a few fresh tears spill down my face. I rubbed them away quickly. I hoped Edward didn't notice. My attention was back on him. He was still staring out that window, his expression unchanging. It looked pained. It broke my heart all over again to see him this way. At least he didn't seem angry anymore.

I slowly moved my hand over to his where it was lying flat on the his arm rest. I placed the palm of my hand on top of the back of his. Edward turned his hand and encircled his fingers around mine.

It was the first form of affection we had shown each other in a while, it was our first form of contact even. I don't know if Edward realised it but holding my hand symbolised a spark of hope. Well it did for me anyway.

I looked to his face once more. His expression had become emotionless. For the first time since we boarded the plane his attention left the window and he faced me. He turned his entire body in my direction, sitting at the edge of his first class seat. He was about to say something but he stopped himself. It was also the first time we gave each other eye contact since the island.

His eyes seemed dead, filled with guilt even. Of course he would blame himself for this problem. Though in my eyes it's not much of a problem but more of a miracle.

He reached over and gently picked up my other hand that was placed on my stomach. He cupped his face with my hand, placing his hand on top of mine. He closed his eyes and sighed. He stayed in this position for a number of minutes before he began fidgeting with my wedding rings and then he eventually dropped my hand. My left hand returned comfortably to my stomach.

He opened his eyes and sat back into his seat. I leaned across and rested my heavy head on his shoulder. There was no point denying it, I was so tired. I succumbed to my tiredness and I began to drift off. I felt Edward wrap one of his arms around me as my eyelids began to droop. Though with everything that was going on, being in Edward's arms was the only place I wanted to be right now.

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I found myself waking up with Edward gently nudging me. It was just before we were about to land. I slept for most of the flight. I noticed mine and Edward's hands were still interlocked on top of the arm rest. Our position hadn't changed since I had fallen asleep.

I pulled away from Edward as the plane began its descent and Edward's arms dropped to his sides, letting go of my hand in the process.

I felt stiff. The flight lasted for hours and unlike when we travelled to Rio de Janeiro this flight was directly to Seattle. It would be good to get up and stretch my legs.

The plane routinely landed and we removed our seatbelts. I stood up and opened the overhead compartment to pull out our carry on luggage but Edward insisted on carrying everything himself.

Normally an interaction as simple as that wouldn't really register any importance in my mind but this was the first time we spoke to each other the entire flight.

He took my hand in his as we left the plane. His mood seemed to have lifted. As we left the plane he even politely thanked one of the airhostesses. Maybe there really is some hope after all.

As we went through security and had our passports checked he never let go of my hand. Even though the silence returned it wasn't awkward. However, I still was dying for one of us to break it.

As we waited for our luggage Edward raised my hand up to his lips and carefully kissed it. I smiled to him and he forced a grin back. I could tell he was trying to look more cheerful than he really was. He lowered our hands and I began caressing his fingers with my thumb as we stood watching the countless bags go by. Though they may be small, these displays of affection meant a hell of a lot more than they did yesterday.

I decided to take a chance and say something. I took a deep breath and squeezed his hand.

"Are you okay? You've been awfully quiet," I asked, probably too cautiously. The anxiety most likely leaked into the sound of my voice. He raised his eyebrows.

"Humm? Sorry… I was just thinking a lot I guess," he mumbled his attention focused on the bags passing by on the conveyor belt. He sighed before squeezing my hand back.

"I don't really know what to think. I'm just confused I suppose," he said quietly before he paused.

"I'm frustrated. I've never wanted to hear inside your mind more than ever before," he confessed.

The dreaded silence returned but as our first bag arrived Edward broke it repeating my question.

"Are you okay?" he asked reflecting my caution. "You've been awfully quite too."

"I know and I'm sorry. I'm just overwhelmed by this entire situation. I really just want to go home," I replied. I half smiled but this time he didn't return the gesture.

We eventually got all our baggage and Edward easily pushed our trolley towards the exit, still gripping my hand. I kept my eyes scanning the crowed to find Rosalie or any of the other Cullens. I suddenly saw a beautiful blonde run at human speed towards us.

I dropped Edward's hand and I pulled Rosalie into a hug. I could feel tears begin to build up in my eyes.

"Oh, Bella…" she sighed. I saw Edward walk over to Emmett and Carlisle.

Rosalie placed her hand on my stomach and half smiled to me sympathetically.

"Don't worry. We'll get through this," she said as she patted my stomach. I nodded, trying to rub away any tears that had formed.

I saw Edward walk towards us as I pulled away from Rosalie. She growled at him as he took my hand in his once more and began leading me to the others. He just frowned not giving her any response. We walked over to the others and I greeted them.

Edward's silence returned as we headed for the car. Carlisle led the way as Emmett took our luggage. We walked through the car park, not one person saying a word. We made it to Carlisle's Mercedes and Emmett stuffed our luggage into the boot.

I slid into the backseat. Edward one side of me Rosalie the other. Edward never let go of my hand. Emmett sat up front with Carlisle who was driving.

There was an awkward silent atmosphere between us in the car as we pulled away from the car park. No one knew what to say I assumed. Edward's attention was mainly on me other than the odd glower at Emmett. Whatever he was thinking Edward didn't like it. Other than that and a few winces Edward gave to what I assumed to be Rosalie's and Carlisle's thoughts the silence remained.

Emmett grinned at Edward and he growled at him. Whoever thought it would be a good idea to send Emmett to pick us up was beyond me.

This was going to be one long car journey home.