Chapter One

Marcia Overstrand was having a bad day. She had woken up to find her apprentice gone before his Time Test and had failed to sort out a squabble between her stove and coffeepot. Cranky, tired, and hot, Marcia had been knocked into a pile of dragon droppings by Billy Pot. After telling Billy that unless he starts watching where he's going, Spit Fyre will have a new dragon watcher and there will be no more Billy Pot in the castle, an extremely exasperated, dirty, and grumpy ExtraOrdinary wizard transported herself to the palace lawn, much to the delight of passer-byes in the street. Marcia purposefully strode towards the dining room and told the door to get out of the way. It shot open and hit the wall with a terrified bang.

Marcia sighed. As if she didn't have enough to do without tracking her upstart apprentice all over the place! "Septimus Heap!" she bellowed, causing Jenna, Beetle, Nicko, Snorri, and Septimus to jump. "Are you aware that you have a time test in precisely two hours' time?"

Septimus, who, until that point had been having a rather enjoyable lunch until that time, couldn't stop staring at the dragon droppings in Marcia's hair.

"Well?" demanded Marcia.

"Yes," replied Septimus sullenly.

"You will come back to the tower with me, now. Or have you forgotten what happened last time you almost missed an exam?"

Septimus winced. "Wasn't my fault," he muttered.

Marcia pretended not to hear. She strode out the door, leaving Septimus alone with his friends and family. "Bye guys," said miserably.

"Bye."

"See ya."

Bye Sep."

"Goodbye."

"Bye."

"Good Luck."

Marcia stuck her head back into the room. "Are you coming, Septimus?"

Septimus sighed and left.

Outside, Marcia slowed down. "Septimus," she said irritably. "I have quite enough to do without you wandering off to your heart's content. Especially before your biggest exam of the year, thank you very much."

"But you said I could have the morning off," protested Septimus.

"I said you could be relieved of your apprentice duties to study."

"Did not."

"Did too."

"Did not."

"Did too."

"Not."

"Go to your room and study."

Septimus knew that there was no arguing with Marcia. Especially when she was in a bad mood. Wondering why Marcia was so grumpy, Septimus put the stairs on fast forward mode and sped to the top. Ordinary wizards on the floors below the twentieth waiting for the stairs going down were quite surprised when a streak of green zoomed past their noses, followed by a streak of purple. Septimus, feeling quite dizzy, stepped off at the top floor and trudged into his room. He was steeling himself to read The Theory of Time when a ghost flew through his window and landed with a muffled "Oomph" on the bed.

"Alther!" exclaimed Septimus happily

"Hello Septimus," replied Alther. "Are you up for a flyte later?"

"Can't," replied Septimus glumly. "I have a Time Test and then Marcia said I am not allowed to use that blasted flyte charm without permission or it is going back in the apprentice urn where it belongs. And she's really grumpy for whatever reason so she'll definitely say no."

"Ahh," said Alther. "And I supposed she still calls me an irresponsible old bat, does she?"

Septimus grinned and nodded.

"I expect she's just worried about you," continues Alther. "She's gotten stressed out before every exam you take since you disappeared. And that contrary old coffeepot was giving her a hard time today. And she bumped into Marcellus yesterday, which always makes her upset. Don't be too worried about it. Anyway, I have something that might make studying more enjoyable. Used it myself before my time test instead of using that." He looked with distaste at The Theory of Time, which lay unopened on Septimus' bed. "Wait here." With that, Alther flew out the window, dragging a book on a warm gust of wind. The wind failed, the book fell with a loud crash on the floor, and Alther, surprised from the disappearing weight of the wind and book, did three complete somersaults and passed through Septimus' door. He returned, managing to look sick and sheepish at the same time. Septimus chuckled, and Alther added affronted to the mixture, which made Septimus laugh even harder.

Suddenly, Marcia's footsteps echoed through the hall outside the door. Alther, who really didn't want to anger Marcia, flew out the window. Septimus had just composed himself, thrown himself on the floor to hide the book, which was by Marcellus Pye, and opened The Theory of Timewhen Marcia stuck her head into the room.

"What were all those thumps?" she asked.

"Alther," Septimus pretended to be immersed in his book. Marcia was not fooled.

"Septimus," she said irritably. "just yesterday, you told me that was the most boring book ever written. Don't pretend to be interested in it now."

Septimus looked up. "What?"

"Why was Alther here?" Marcia asked suspiciously.

"Wanted me to go on a flight. I told him no."

"Good. That irresponsible old bat wouldn't know if you had fallen out of the sky if a cloud bit him and said so. Fifteen minutes left to study." Septimus stifled a chuckle.

Marcia looked at him and left. Septimus burst out laughing.

Alther flew in. "I heard that!" he said indignantly. "I wonder if Marcia has forgotten how I pulled her out of the quake ooze and noticed it from ten miles away!" With an extremely petulant look on his face, Alther flew out the window to go meet Alice at the market.

Finally alone, Septimus began to read The Glasses and Time by Marcellus Pye.

A/N: I know it's really boring so far but it gets better, I promise. R&R!