Slam.
There went that door. Jacob growled quietly, angry at himself. He shouldn't have explained imprinting in the way he just had. Renesmee was now extremely pissed off, and was probably going to start crying. Jacob especially hated it when she cried. It broke him in half, made him feel extremely weak and helpless. That feeling was doubled when he knew that he was the one who had caused his precious Nessie to feel so terrible. So he made his way to the door and walked outside. She was already at the other side of the property, sitting at the edge of the forest. She always went there when she was upset.
He walked slower then necessary to her, trying to figure out what to say to mend his mistake. When he finally reached her, he still wasn't sure what to say. "Nessie…"
"What do you want, Jacob? You just ripped my heart into shreds, what else could you possibly want to do?" she almost spat, but she was trying so hard not to cry that the venom she tried to place in her voice came off more as a sniffle.
"Nessie, it doesn't work like that. You have to listen to me, sweetie," Jacob was begging, it was clear in my voice. Rosalie would have been laughing at me.
She rolled her eyes, but they were glistening, ready to let her tears fall if she let just a little bit more of her pain come through. "You don't love me like I love you. You love because you imprinted on me, Jake. What I feel is real, it's me, it's everything that I have. I've developed these feelings on my own, with a clear head, with other options that I have rejected and not even thought about taking. And I've done all that because I love you. What does your mind think when it thinks of me? It thinks imprint. It thinks fucking Bella and Edward's daughter. It thinks Seth and Leah's step niece or whatever. It doesn't think love. It might think infatuation, or forced destiny."
He shook my head, pain shooting through him. "No, Nessie. Listen to me, alright? I love you, I always will love you. Nothing could ever change that."
"Nothing?" she said, the doubt could be heard clearly in her voice. "So, you're telling me that if you had never imprinted on me that you would have fallen for me. You're telling me that you'd be 'in love'. You're telling me that you would have kept phasing to keep living. You're trying to feed me lies about how life would have ended up the same? No, Jacob Black, it would not have ended up the freaking same way. You…you wouldn't be in love with me. I'd be a nuisance at the most, maybe something you could tolerate for about three minutes straight. Maybe you would have never even talked to me again after that first day."
"Nessie, that's not true! I love you, more then words can describe, more then you think I do, more then you will ever know. Not even taking away the imprint would change that," He tried to beg of her.
The pain was in his eyes now, pleading with her. She looked away, unable to stand it. She knew that if she looked into his eyes for more then a brief second, she would cave, and never have the guts to bring the subject up again. She needed to get all of this out, she needed to make him understand. "What I feel will never change. You could have webbed feet, a weird nose, even worse fashion sense, and I would still love you. I love every thing about you. I love your voice, the things you say, the jokes that you say, the pranks that you pull. I watch sports just to make you happy. I force down that disgusting hot dog every Saturday night, because I know that you look forward to that group meal thing with everyone. I deal with your mood swings, and I try not to ask too many questions about your past. I've never once asked about any romantic history with you, because I don't want to make you angry. I would do anything, say anything, to make you feel that real and true about me. I would give anything in the world, trade my life, my oxygen, everything that kept me alive to make you really love me. You are my sun, Jacob. I can not breathe without you. You are my life, my breath, and everything my world revolves around. Without you, I would cease to exist. Without me, you'd be normal."
Tears leaked down Renesmee's face, falling from her warm brown eyes. Jacob dropped down beside her and took her in his arms. Unable to know exactly what to say, he just rambled. "Ness, you have to trust that I do love you. I know how I feel, and I know that this is what I want. I know that you're what I want. I don't think I could live without you. I hate that you're sitting here- questioning my love for you. I need you too, Nessie. I need you more then anything else on the planet."
"But it wouldn't be the same without the imprint!" she cried.
"But we do have the imprint, and Ness, I can feel past it sometimes, and I feel the same way about you. I love you and nothing could change that. Nothing in the entire universe."
He reached out a little and wiped the tears away from her face. She noticed the way her skin burned when he touched her. He noticed the tingle feeling in his fingertips as they brushed over her features. "I love you, Jacob," she muttered.
And then she looked into his eyes again. He knew at that moment that he was forgiven this time. "I love you too, Renesmee. I love you more then you'll ever know."
She blushed as little as his fingers continued tracing her face, and then her neck, and then her collarbone. She shivered slightly and scooted closer to Jacob. His hand moved to the back of her head, stroking her hair lightly. "You know that you're absolutely gorgeous, right?" He muttered.
"Hmm, I think someone might have told me that a few times," she replied quietly, leaning closer to him.
He chuckled lightly and pressed his lips to hers. They tasted like her tears, the tears that he desperately regretted making her cry. Her heart sped up even faster then it usually did. She pulled away, an embarrassed grin plastered on to her face. "I will love you forever, no matter what," he promised her.
She just nodded, her smile covering any doubts that she still possessed. They could wait for another day, but for now she was content with his answers.
And anyway.
She could just make Seth fill her in on anything else later.
