A/N: This fic goes to my fav reviewer, lovejoker. Thank you sweetie for your continuous support!
I stirred in my bed as sun rays danced around my face, announcing a new day. Groggily I stretched my body and extended an arm to my side just to find it empty.
"Where did you go?" I winced. My voice was husky and low.
Forcing myself into a sitting position, I stood up and headed to the bathroom with half opened eyes. I took a quick warm shower to awake myself up, and dried up with a towel before wrapping my naked body with a black robe. Walking back to the room, I took a quick glance at the clock and noticed that it was forty minutes pass ten.
Man I'm starving…Wonder what's for breakfast?
As I headed downstairs to the kitchen, I heard the voices of two men arguing. Well, one was arguing while the other was taunting through wicked laughs.
"My God you are unbelievably insufferable!" The voice of an elderly man snapped.
"Oow Alfie…We are all men in here, aren't we?" The other man teased, "Or is it possible that you swing this way? I won't blame ya you know."
"Joker, behave!" I growled as I entered the kitchen.
"C'moooon Brucieee, I'm just having some harmless fun in here." the Joker pouted with crossed arms.
"Thank God you are finally awake Sir!" Alfred exclaimed with relief, "Your guest here is a tad too hard to handle."
I eyed the Joker and added, "You promised you wouldn't give Alfred any hard time."
"I didn't, it's just that Alfie's sense of humor is as bad as yours." The clown retorted with a frown.
"Forgive my bad senses if it can't see the punchline behind a man sitting in the kitchen in the nude!" The old butler scoffed with creased eyebrows.
"What the hell!" I exclaimed, widening my eyes in disbelief as I stared at the stark naked clown sitting on one of the stools. "Why aren't you dressed?!"
"You ruined my clothes." The Joker shrugged carelessly, "You know, last night when you... EMPhhhh…"
I clasped a hand over the Joker's mouth, preventing him from finishing his sentence. My face was blushing wildly with embarrassment. Whatever happened last night was no one's business but ours, me and Joker, and definitely not poor Alfred's, whose face had turned as white as a sheet.
"Dammit Joker!" I snapped with a face that burned bright red, "Just go and put on some clothes!"
"Mmmmmm" He mumbled before releasing my grip, "I have none! And what's wrong with being naked?"
"Don't let me repeat myself!" I growled with a frown and pointed at the door.
"Guess my sexiness is just too overwhelming." The clown sighed with a teasing tone and a shrug.
"Joooker!" I snapped and dragged the clown from his wrist, who waved goodbye at the shocked butler with a menacing grin.
"Think poor Alfie had a stroke or something?" The clown chuckled, as I dragged him along the hallway. "He became awfully silent all of a sudden."
"Seriously? I won't dismiss that." I scoffed as I brought the naked clown closer to my side. "You almost slipped out some intimate details! How did you expect an old man to react as?"
He just shrugged with a grin as he strode next to me, completely shameless of his current state.
"You are such a child." I sighed as I entered my room, and went to the closet to fetch the naked clown something to wear and dress myself as well. I was still wearing nothing but a robe.
"Doesn't that make you a pedophile?" the Joker teased, who was now sitting on the bed with legs wide open, showing off his manhood proudly.
"Would you stop parading yourself!" I muttered with a blush, trying not to stare at him.
"Hmmm… But last night's events would beg to differ." He cooed with a chuckle.
"Last night was last night's." I retorted and threw a pair of brown trousers and a white-stripped shirt at him. "Wear these."
The clown sighed and obliged to my request. The clothes barely hung to his thin visage. The shirt was pretty loose, and the trouser begged for his waist.
I wore a pair of sweat pants, and a black shirt that complemented my body more than I intended to. I looked at the clown clad in baggy clothes, and chuckled.
"So cute." I teased with a smirk.
"I'm not!" The Joker shouted, stomping a foot as hard as he could. "Do I look like a damn puppy to you?!"
"My cute lil' puppy." I smirked as I caught him from his waist, bringing him closer to my embrace and nuzzled his nose.
The clown pouted sheepishly when a growling sound interrupted our intimate moment.
"It's your fault that I haven't had any breakfast yet. I'm starving!" I said as I pulled the Joker, walking toward the door and then added with a grin. "I don't if you had some already, but I doubt your body would refuse a second round."
"Yah, yah... Mock my poor, thin body." The Joker snorted, throwing his free arm in the air.
"I thought you're sexiness was overwhelmingly." I remarked teasingly.
"Hell yah! I'm sexy and you know it!" He grinned with a wink as he childishly clinched to my arm and bumped his waist to mine.
"Tone it down for Alfred's sake, ok?" I smiled at my beloved clown as we almost reached the kitchen's door.
"Ol' riiighteee~" The Joker sighed, "Such party poppers…"
We entered the kitchen, where Alfred set the table with the most elegant, appetizing and somewhat healthy breakfast. Two plates, each with scrambled eggs, turkey bacon, a slice of French toast topped with strawberry jam and a little bit of veggies on the side. Next to it was a bowl of chopped fruits for each, and a cup of black coffee for me, while a hot chocolate for the clown for he hated bitter food.
"Guess you waited for me after all." I smirked at the Joker.
The Joker just shrugged and took a seat.
"Glad to see some decency around here." Alfred scoffed as he eyed the clown with an erected eyebrow.
The Joker remained silent but stuck his tongue out at the butler, and then dug into his breakfast.
The butler sighed then spoke, "Would you like anything else, Master Bruce?"
"No. Thank you, Alfred." I replied with an appreciative smile.
"Then I shall excuse myself. I'll be at your room tiding up if you or your guest would require anything else." Alfred stated with utmost respect, and gave a slight bow before leaving us alone.
"He might act like one with a stick up his ass, but I have to admit, he's pretty handy." The Joker confessed as soon as Alfred left. He would have never admitted that in front of the old guy.
"He is, isn't he?" I beamed with respect and love.
The clown stared at me and scoffed, "What's with that lovey-dovey look?"
"What?" I retorted with slight confusion.
"Do you have feelings for that old fart?" The Joker pouted while pointing at the door with a spoon.
"Seriously Joker?" I sighed as I took a sip from my cup then explained, "He raised me since I lost my parents, and I was still a child, which practically makes him a fatherly figure to me. I carry for him no more than a father-son's love and respect."
"Ahaaa~" The Joker replied while scratching his white chin, and getting lost into deep thoughts.
After five minutes of silence, I intercepted the clown's thoughts and asked out of curiosity, "What are you thinking of? You have never been so silent for that long."
"Nothing Brucie, just about the first time you surprised me with your grandiose, love confession." He teased with a wide grin, "Who would have thought that the great Dark Knight would ever fall in love? And to lay down such a confession, such braveness!"
"Aha." I replied calmly, and then added, "You do know that you are the one who confessed first, don't you?"
"Never!" He gasped with wide green eyes, completely astonished, "I never did that! You confessed first!"
"Yes, you did." I smirked then pointed at him, "You did while you slept in my lap like a baby."
"What the… You are making that up!" He snapped, his pale face turning bright red with anger.
"Okay, so tell me." I replied confidently, as I took another sip of my coffee before countering, "What happened that night?"
"Well… I slept in your lap," The Joker replied nervously, and then snapped, "But that doesn't count you are the one who hugged me!"
"Alright, that one is on me. And then?" I asked, curious of what he might come up with.
"Erm, you got tired. Carried me to that wall, and placed me next to it for support?" He replied with quite hesitation.
"Really?" I replied, and after taking one last sip I said, "Let me tell you my version of the story. The actual version where I'm awake, and you were sleeping like a princess."
"Ha ha!" He snorted, crossing his arm grimly.
"I didn't get tired. The ground was chilly, and I was afraid we might catch a cold so I carried you to that wall, where I sat and placed you in my lap your highness." I stated with a grin, but a smile took its place as I remembered that precious moment, "You looked so peaceful. You stirred a thousand emotions in me, and I couldn't help but touch your face. A little smile formed on your lips as I caressed your cheek, and then suddenly you…"
"I what?" The Joker exclaimed eagerly, he definitely had a childish side to him.
"You said, 'I love you… Batsy' " I replied with a smile, resting my chin over my palms.
The Joker blushed, trying to look anywhere but my direction. He grabbed his cup, and drank its whole content in one mouthful. His pink cheeks bulged, filled with hot chocolate, but the drink was still pretty hot causing his face to turn into a darker shade of pink.
I couldn't help but laugh at the Joker's reaction; he never ceased to surprise me. Almost a year had passed since that incident. And four months since I, the Batman, wholly trusted him and decided to reveal my true identity. To my surprise, the Joker got totally excited. Something about him always knowing that the Batman was a handsome, sexy guy that made all men jealous and women for, I, being his and no one else's.
It had been an eventful year. It took the Joker a lot of will to stop his shenanigans, which he actually gave up almost two months later saying that all of his mischief meant nothing anymore now that he finally had me. For four months he caused nothing, which made me trust him with my true identity, and since then he had been staying at my manor. Although, he did disappear every now and then, and I had no idea where he went, yet I trust him. Well, that, and the fact that no one can stay in a closed place for too long.
The Joker finally swallowed the hot drink, and gasped as he felt heat emitting from his throat. I went to where he was sitting and placed a tiny peck on his throat.
"You know that doesn't really help at all!" The Joker coughed as he panted for air.
"Sorry." I apologized, not so sincerely, as I moved the Joker, sat on his chair, placed him over my lap and stared at him with a grin.
"What?" He snorted, frowning at me and then looking at the other side.
"What do you think of your grandiose confession, princess?" I teased him while poking his chest.
"Shut up! And stop calling me princess!" He snapped, grapping my finger and then added. "Seems that you've forgotten who the Prince Clown of Crime is! Maybe I should remind you, shall I?"
"Forgive my rudeness, Your Sexiness." I smirked, bringing his face closer to mine.
"Better…" He answered with a grin, wrapping his arms around my neck, and pulling me closer he whispered in my ear, "My one and only, Sir Handsome."
An hour later
I grabbed a paper that was tapped to my bedroom's door, and read the neat hand writing out loud:
"Dear Master Bruce,
I think I'm going to need my vacation earlier than expected this year. I will be needing quite some time to recover, so don't expect my return for at least two weeks. Seeing one naked man was unbearable, but two… in my dear kitchen… over my beloved counter! I think I'm officially scarred for life.
Sincere regards,
Alfred."
"Dear lord…" I mumbled as I stared at the paper in my hand.
"Guess Alfie saw some hot, steamy action today!" The Joker managed to say before falling down on the ground and laughing out hysterically.
The End.
