This is just a random one shot (my second one!) I was scratching a mosquito bite when I thought about vampires and Voila! Everyone is here including Jake and Nessie.

Bella's POV

We were all sitting around the Cullen household when our sensitive ears picked up a buzzing

"Um…is it me or do you all hear a mosquito?" I asked

"That's what it is?" Edward asked.

"Uh, yeah they practically live at the Rez." Jake replied.

"No, duh Jake they live everywhere in Forks!" I shot back.

He glared at me and continued. "But they usually don't come near here because of their instincts."

"What if there was a vampire mosquito!" Emmett boomed.

We all silently questioned his sanity, when we saw it. I jumped up and tried to clap it, but my hand rebounded back.

"Wow, even with Bella's newborn strength she couldn't even kill it" Jasper said

I glared and he smiled sheepishly.

"I'll do it!" Emmett flexed his muscles. The mosquito got defensive and stung him on the arm.

"WHAT THE FU-" "Emmett! Language!" She pointed towards Nessie. Nessie just rolled her eyes.

"It made a Bump! And it itches like crazy!"

"That's what normal mosquito's do, Emmett" I sighed.

"How was it able to penatr-" Carlisle stopped because of the speed of the mosquito.

At the same time, all nine of us replied "Vampire Mosquito."

"So how do we kill it?" Jasper asked

"Rip it apart and burn the pieces." Alice

"Ok, who volunteers to bite it?" Rose asked

"Silence" Emmett replied while scratching

"Uncle Em, it's not silent if you say silence."

"Whatever"

James the Mosquito's POV

Ha ha stupid vampires. They don't even know I'm biting them!

After the Big one said something, they all noticed that they had bites. Except for the Indian one.

He stunk!

Ok there will be another chapter.

While you wait, go read The Cullens Get High. Very funny!

Review or I'll hold Chapter two hostage!

Oh yeah, I know vampire venom kills shape shifters, but James wont go near him because of the smell. Also, Nessie is affected just like the full vampires.