I can't believe I started writing a shrek au but here we are. Based off of .com's shrek au post. Enjoy!
Peacefulness. Quiet. That's what Stanford could describe his life at the moment. Living in a lonely cabin in the woods had its perks. No one bothered him, aside from the lost traveler from time to time. And of course, the extra fingers on his hands and the whole mad scientist vibe kept them away for good. He was able to conduct his experiments on the weird wildlife and oddities in peace. He felt quite lucky actually that he lived somewhere so unique and so out of the way that no one would bother him. There was no one around to call him a freak or a monster even. That's..how it used to be at least. Unbeknownst to Stanford Pines, his story was about to take an interesting turn.
It was the usual day for Stanford, well, almost. He had been working in his lab in the basement of his cabin when his intruder alarm blared, blinking red on the wall. It had been quite some time since anyone had wandered onto his property. Stanford grumbled to himself as the elevator brought him up and the vending machine that served as the door to his underground lab slammed open.
"Who could possibly be foolish enough to trespass on my woods?"
As always, he tucked his plasma gun into the long duster he wore as he made his way outside. His silvery hair shimmered in the sun, and he grumbled some more as the sun forced him to squint at the sudden brightness. He was tempted to wear his darkened goggles because of this but chose not to. It would be best not to frighten the intruder too much, though he was sure his reputation and presence alone would scare them off. Peering into the woods, he spotted a human figure that looked to be walking toward the cabin. Stanford found himself smirking as he promptly hid behind a tree and waited for them to get closer. Just as they were about to pass by, he jumped out in front of them, letting out a deep chuckle with arms out, ready to attack if necessary. Instead, he found himself being the one that was taken aback as the intruder wore a smug smirk and crossed his arms.
"St-Stanley? What the hell? How did you find me?" he stammered.
He definitely wasn't expecting to find this intruder to be his own twin brother. He knew Stanley had chosen the vagabond life, though he wasn't sure how good being known as "the freak's twin brother" was.
"Hey, Sixer," he breathed, obvious that he was quite winded. "Sorry, I've been runnin' for quite a while. Just need to catch my breath."
Stanford preferred seclusion, but he wasn't going to deny his brother entry into his home, though he was still weary about it.
"Alright, alright, follow me. I'll get you a glass of water."
Once inside, Stanley seemed adamant on looking around in curiosity at the various trinkets and objects that decorated Stanford's cabin, reaching out to touch many of them, which Stanford had to discourage with a sharp "no" or "stop" along with pushing his hand away.
"So, what exactly were you running from? The police? I'm just guessing here. I don't know much of what goes on in the outside world these days," Stanford drawled as he handed him the glass of cold water.
Stanley chugged the whole glass in less than a minute, slamming it down on the table.
"Well, let me tell ya, Stanford. I've had quite a day. And don't even ask why I was running in this suit. It's a part of me, alright? Makes me look fancy. Anyway, I'll educate you on some current events of what's currently happening outside your little wood haven here." He took a deep inhale before continuing, collecting his thoughts together. "I suppose you could call them the police of sorts. Ya see, while you've been conducting your little research here, a tyrant, dictator I suppose would be the right word for him has rose to power, and he's makin' some crazy rules. Ya see, he has this huge, uh, pyramid thing that's his castle, and he's gatherin' up freaks. You know, just anyone who's different or would be considered abnormal. I think he's aiming for world domination, but that's just me."
"I do hope you're not making this up, Stanley. I know how good you are at weaving lies and stories," Stanford scoffed and sipped on some water himself. "But I'll play along. So, if he's gathering freaks, why were you being chased? You're pretty 'normal' in the subjective sense."
"Why else but that I'm a twin brother to someone considered a freak not just for your fingers but your smarts too. I think they wanted to use me to get to you eventually..or something along those lines. Who knows, maybe it's my belly," he chuckled as he shook it with a wink.
Stanford still wore a skeptical look, not sure if he could even believe all this. If anything, Stanley was just making up excuses to get him to let him stay here, though, he was his brother after all and one of the only people he could stand to be around.
"Well, I don't exactly believe all this still. Why don't you show me? Take me to the edge of the forest and show me this rounding up of freaks and pyramid fortress," he suggested.
The only thing that would solve this was seeing it for himself. Part of him wanted to believe his brother but the dominating skeptical part of him needed to know the truth and see for himself.
Stanley nodded, knowing how Stanford was. A bit of chatting later, and soon, Stanford was following his brother through the woods to where they ended. It was a good ten minute walk before more sunlight began to shine through the thinning trees and more blue of the sky could be seen. However, Stanford's senses were suddenly on high alert when he heard the quick snaps of several twigs, the sound of someone running in their direction.
"Get down," he whispered and yanked Stanley by his arm over and behind a nearby tree.
Stanley was about to protest when he heard the footsteps and kept quiet. Stanford stood ready, his smaller gun out and ready to fire. His brown eyes were steely and focused as he waited.
The single footsteps were accompanied by more as they heard giggles and chatter.
A higher pitched voice that sounded like a woman said, "This is the place, isn't it? Where that six fingered guy is?"
"Yeah, the cabin it lives in shouldn't be far from here. In the middle of the woods if our information is correct. But be careful, he's known to be unpredictable and dangerous."
The rest was whispers that Stanford couldn't really make out as they were getting further and further away. Soon, they were running again, and his heart dropped as it was in the direction of his cabin. It was a good thing his lab was heavily locked, hopefully it would be safe.
Sighing, he motioned for Stanley to keep walking with him to the edge of the woods. There was no turning back now. He'd rather not face the two intruders right now. It took a moment for his eyes to adjust to the sudden bright sunlight, but they soon went wide as he observed the flat, field like lands around him. It was entirely different than the woods he was used to. They went even wider when he noticed, in the far distance, the shape of a huge, dark pyramid floating in the air.
"Is that..the pyramid you spoke of?" he asked his twin.
"Yep. That's it. So, what are we gonna do about those two that were gunning for your place?"
As Stanford was about to answer something along the lines of he'd just shoot them or run them off his property somehow, but was cut short as a few more of these minions ran past and into his woods. One stopped that had a keyhole shape in his forehead. He was rather short as well, only coming up to Stanford's knees. A scroll suddenly appeared in front of him, and he cleared his throat as he read what was there to the two humans.
"Um, by decree, of Lord Bill Cipher, you are under arrest. Give yourself up," he stammered, obviously nervous and distressed as he looked up at Stanford.
Stanford couldn't have stopped grinning at the sheer comedy of this. In fact, he began to laugh just looking at the other.
"Oh? You're going to arrest us?" He was nearly in tears at this point. "Ha! You and what army?"
