When they died, she felt nothing and everything.

Nothing, established thoroughly in the numbness in her system. She can't feel the blood pumping through her veins. She is weighed down by the oppressiveness of the room. That girl, she has a name, she is a purpose, what are these things? Are they like the pain in her arteries, the urge to move and scream and kill?

She has always had pieces of memories, some clearer, some worse than obscured. Seven years of these, and the first ten empty as a sheet of paper. She remembers running on desert sand in nothing but a torn seed sack with holes because she got lost and ran too far, no way to see, barely any water but her spit. A beautiful song ties them together and rips them apart because that's what she's good at, isn't it? She remembers concrete and bloody heels and sobbing because there's her sister writhing on the floor and she's supposed to take care of her, she's such a horrible daughter, no wonder no one wants her-

And yet with all of the pain, there is that numbness again. Her children are fading away, the Mastemon who had come to her as a pup and a devil, wings and arms wrapped around her even in death, MetalGarurumon nosing her cheek with cold love before he death charged ExoGrimmon and howled his laughter, Imperialdramon swinging his white sword one last time as the Dianamon gave her final blow, collapsing to nearly pieces in her arms and she can't even find the strength to scream, or even to pick up her legs. She can't feel anything. She can feel everything.

For the first time she can remember, Sayo faints.


A/N: So... yeah. this is... special. It's also full of spoilers. I'm not even going to tell you what, or how, or where. I'm just going to post it. Let's see what happens.

Challenges: Gameverse Boot Camp prompt 'abandoned', and Groundhog Day Loop Challenge