Authors Note: Well, I'm back for the moment with another Squinoa. Hope you enjoy it. I've been kind of on a roll while on vacation, so I have plenty of content, however the first three chapters were all typed on my iPhone, so I apologize if there are any mistakes I missed when transferring it to my computer.
It's ok to be us.
Chapter 1
Peer pressure
A week had passed since Squall and Rinoa had returned from time compression, and overall, Rinoa had to admit things were going well. Sure, there may not have been very many fireworks between Squall and herself, like on the balcony at the party, but Squall was a reserved person, and she had nothing but time. He was now at least admitting that they were in a relationship, and he seemed to open up to her more than ever before.
At least in private.
In public, he was the same as always. Perhaps he didn't grimace every time she spoke to him, but otherwise, he was his usual, antisocial self. But again, no pressure. She liked him, a lot, and was pretty sure that her feelings had crossed into real love for the first time. Sure, she had thought she was in love with Seifer, but compared to her feelings for Squall, she was certain she didn't know what love was until now. She wasn't ready to say any of this though, nor would he have been ready to hear it. But with each passing day, she became more certain. She was head over heels in love with Squall Leonhart.
"Rinny? Are you even listening to me?"
"...wha?" she replied, dazed. She had been day dreaming about him again.
"I was trying to tell you about my great idea!" Selphie repeated, irritated. "I was thinking that if you wanted a really low pressure date situation, you could bring him out on a double date with me and Irvine! That way, ya know, we can just all go as friends, and he won't have to plan or dress up or try to impress you or anything! Just two couples going for some food and drinks. And dancing. And bar hopping."
Rinoa gave her a look.
"Well I don't know; let's just see where the night takes us. Get him on board, and Irvy and I will plan around his schedule. That was he has no excuse!" Selphie said with an evil grin.
"Don't know how I'm gonna bring it up exactly, but I'll give it a shot. He's been really busy with his reports recently; hopefully he can take some time off this weekend."
" Ok great, lemme know!" Selphie squeaked.
"Uh Selphie, its one o'clock" Rinoa said, checking her watch. Selphie stared at her blankly. "...your class?"
"Oh damn! You're right! Can't believe they made me a teacher, I don't even like first year cadets!"
"I guess that comes with your big promotion and fat new paycheck huh? I feel so sorry for you. Now get the hell outta here." Rinoa said to her friend as they stood up and threw away their cafeteria trays. "I have a date to plan with my boyfriend."
"Yea you do! And I have a class to teach! Don't be a stranger!" Selphie said and dashed away.
Rinoa had been thinking a lot about what she was going to say to him. Surely he'd never go for it. Double dates didn't sound like something Squall had very high on his to-do list, or even his bucket list. Maybe she could convince him if she got him in private. She rehearsed her sales pitch to herself in the elevator, but as soon as the doors opened, her mind went blank. As soon as the doors were open, she found herself face to face with Squall.
"Hey" he said simply.
"Hey..." she said stupidly, inwardly cursing her own awkwardness.
"I was... Do you wanna...? It's lunch time." he said, scratching the back of his head, avoiding eye contact.
She understood.
"Uh, yeah, I'd love to." she said. He entered the elevator and pressed the button for the main floor.
They rode the elevator in silence. When the doors opened again, they both began to speak at once.
"I'm sorry, you first" Rinoa said to him as she stepped over the threshold.
"Oh, I was just saying I didn't really have a lot of time for lunch. Only fifteen minutes or so." Squall said, following her toward the cafeteria.
"Um, yeah, no, that's fine; I just wanted to talk to you about this weekend."
"Rin, you know how busy I am now that the war is over. I have four different reports still to type up for leaders of Galbadia, Est-"
"I haven't even told you what or when yet!"
"You're right, I'm sorry."
As they stood in line and Squall got his food, Rinoa told him all about Selphie's idea for a double date. Through her explanation, Squall had that exasperated look on his face. Things were not looking promising. She was not going to give up that easily.
"... Besides, I thought it could be really fun. No pressure or anything. I just really wanted to spend some time with my boyfriend. I miss you, Squall."
At that, his demeanor changed. His eyes softened and he looked at her with a melancholy expression.
"I'm sorry. I just don't think I'll have time his weekend until Sunday at the earliest."
Rinoa perked up at this.
"Sunday could work!" she said, trying to hide her excitement from him. She failed.
"This means a lot to you doesn't it?" he asked. She nodded. "Well, if you can wait until Sunday, then fine. Just remember that I get kinda..." He hesitated. She finished for him
"Kinda weird around people in social settings, especially in public. I know. I promise we can leave whenever you want, and all you have to do is show up. Thank you Squall, you won't regret it!"
"Whatever." he replied, standing up to go back to his office. She stood up too, and wanted nothing more than to run to him and give him a kiss on the cheek. She decided however not to press her luck, and instead gave him a warm smile. She could have sworn she saw him return it. Maybe it was her imagination.
After a long couple of days, it was finally Sunday, and Rinoa couldn't be happier. She smiled as she thought back to her friend's reaction.
"Really? He said yes? Sunday? This Sunday?" the peppy brunette had squeaked.
"Is there something wrong? I thought you wanted to go out this weekend."
"Well yes but I never imagined he would go for it! This is wonderful news! I'll tell Irvine, what, eight o'clock?"
"Sounds good to me but I will have to tell Squall. It should be fine."
Fortunately Squall had agreed to the proposed time, which was now only hours away. Rinoa had showered and was pondering over her outfit. She finally decided on something similar to her usual attire, only without her duster and instead a clean white shimmery blouse. She thought she looked good but not too dressy. She was sure that Irvine and Selphie would be dressed up, even though they said they wouldn't, and she was also sure that Squall would be wearing what he always did.
A knock came at the door and she smiled. Squall was precisely fifteen minutes early. She always knew what to expect from him. Or did she?
"Hey," he said as she let him in.
"... Hi..."
Rinoa stared. He was dressed in his usual black leather jacket, but underneath he wore a black, collared, button down shirt. His lion pendant shone all the more brightly against the dark material. She also noticed his shirt had been tucked into a nice pair of dress pants, with only a single belt around his waist. He was not wearing gloves, and had even cleaned up and polished his buckled combat boots.
"I hope I... You look great." he said to her.
"Thanks. You look dashing. Where did you get that shirt? As much as I love color, you, Squall Leonhart, look hot in black."
He blushed slightly at her last comment, but replied.
"This? Just something I had lying around I suppose. It's originally meant to be worn with the SeeD uniform but most don't these days, what with the heavy jacket over it and all..." he trailed off when he caught her staring. "You ok?"
Rinoa couldn't help it; she closed the distance between them and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him into an embrace. His arms snaked around her waist, returning the gesture.
"I'm better than ok." she said quietly. "I'm so glad you're here, I've missed you."
Squall said nothing to this, but he didn't have to. Rinoa could tell he felt the same by the way his arms tensed slightly, as he held her just a little bit tighter.
The ride into Balamb had been uneventful, unless you count Selphie's endless chatter. Rinoa had smiled in agreement as Selphie's first words upon seeing Squall included "tall," "dark," and "handsome." Selphie herself had opted for a very revealing green dress that "matches my eyes!" and Irvine had gone with a white collared shirt and red tie. His trench coat had been abandoned, and he wore khaki dress pants, though still sporting his trademark cowboy hat and boots.
As soon as Irvine had parked the car, they all got out and headed for their restaurant, with Selphie and Irvine in front, holding hands. Rinoa noticed this must have made Squall uncomfortable, and tried to smile at him to let him know it was fine if he'd rather not hold her hand in public like this. But she couldn't give him such a smile, because he was looking everywhere but at her.
When they arrived at their restaurant, Selphie bounded up to the host.
"Table for 4 pleeeze!" she said, and even Rinoa thought she sounded annoying.
"That'll be about an hour wait. What name?"
"Leonhart" Squall said, stepping forward.
"Ah, Commander Leonhart, right this way please." said their host, leading to a dimly lit table in the back corner of the room. Squall followed nonchalantly, but the others stared at him in amazement, none more so than Rinoa.
"Here we are, please have a seat, your server will be with you shorty." the young host said as he walked away.
"How the hell did you do that?" Irvine asked as they took their seats. Squall did not respond.
"He's famous!" Selphie chimed in.
Selphie and Irvine continued to argue about how Squall had pulled off such a feat, but Rinoa was looking right at him.
"How did you really do that?" she asked. It was a whisper just for him.
"I made a reservation." he said to her, smiling lightly. Unfortunately it was that moment that Selphie and Irvine decided to stop talking.
"You what? See, told ya Selphie. Hardly anybody knows what we did last week. Sure Squall's been in the news a lot this past year, but he's a military leader, not a rock star. C'mon yo tell us what really happened."
Rinoa grimaced at that, she knew Squall hated being put on the spot.
"I, um, heard that you guys wanted to come here to Le Calandre, and the website said that you needed a reservation. So I made one." he said simply.
"But wait, how did you know we wanted to come here in the first place? Rinny and I only decided on that last week" Selphie said.
Squall hesitated again.
"He was probably spying on you in the cafeteria with the security cameras connected to his office, weren't you Squall? I'd probably do that all the time." Irvine said.
Selphie and Irvine laughed lightheartedly, but Rinoa did not. She understood him. He must have made the reservation the same day she had asked him. Probably even BEFORE she asked him. And when he said he couldn't do it before Sunday, that was because Sunday was the earliest it could be done. The others laughed at his methods, but she was touched by his initiative. It was then that their maître d' arrived with the wine list, and the conversation was dropped.
Rinoa frowned again when she saw Selphie and Irvine ordering meals for each other. No pressure huh? She'd have to have a talk with Selphie about that. This was her first actual date with Squall, and possibly his first ever. She looked at him when he ordered, and once again saw that he looked uncomfortable with Selphie and Irvine's displays of affection.
After dinner though, they got worse. After several glasses of wine each, both were forgetting they were in the company of the shy and conservative Squall Leonhart. The conversation landed on the topic of the party after Ultimecia's defeat. Then of course, to the kiss Squall and Rinoa considered sacred.
"It was so great! About time too! It was something like this" Irvine said drunkenly, pulling Selphie into a big kiss. "Oh wait no that wasn't right, try again"
After kissing Irvine a second time, Selphie had the idea for Squall and Rinoa to show them "how it's done" because apparently Irvine uses too much tongue.
"Oh good, dessert is here!" Rinoa said, desperately trying to get out of the situation.
Her strategy was effective, but the situation got no better. Selphie and Irvine began feeding each other bites of ice cream and cake. Rinoa had to admit they were cute together, but her thoughts were mainly on Squall, and how uncomfortable he must be. She noticed he hadn't ordered dessert, opting instead for whiskey on the rocks. She considered this for a minute as she took a bite of her éclair. Was he trying to get drunk? Was he having that bad a time? Or was he trying to loosen up? Loosen up for what?
"C'mon Rinny! Time to go DANCING!" Selphie said impatiently.
"I'm not finished my dessert yet! Go on, we'll catch up after we finish here" Rinoa said to the other couple.
"What about the check?" Irvine asked, reaching for his wallet.
"Go. I got it." Squall said.
Both brunettes offered their thanks, and told the seated couple that they were going to Balamb Nights, which was just around the corner. As soon as they left, Squall downed the remainder of his drink.
"I'm sorry, Rin." he said quietly.
Rinoa wasn't expecting that.
"What for?" she asked, confused.
"I'm sorry we can't be, well, like that."
"Squall, I'm having a wonderful time tonight. I love being with you. I don't wanna be like them. I wanna just be us. And it's ok to be us. I promise. Don't ever be ashamed to be who you are, because you are wonderful, chivalrous, and charming when you want to be. We don't have to go out dancing, let's just go home. I would have just as much fun dancing with you as I would just lying around reading or going to the training center. Everything we do together instantly becomes my favorite thing to do, and that's one of the many reasons I love you so much."
She had not meant to say all of that. They both looked away, blushing furiously. Fortunately, their waiter came by with the check and Rinoa was glad for the change of subject.
"What's the damage?" she asked, indicating the black leather cover containing their bill.
"None of our business." he said. Rinoa saw him smirking slightly, and decided to run with it.
"C'mon, lemme see!" she said reaching for it. "Let me at least pay for our idiot friends if you won let me pay for myself."
He snatched it out of her grip, now beginning to smile. "I told our idiot friends that I'd get it, so I got it. Get off!" he said, now laughing as she lunged across his body toward his outstretched arm. Their faces were now inches apart.
"Am I gonna have to find a different way to pay you back?" she whispered putting on her most flirtatious smile.
"I'll think of something," he whispered back.
Their lips met, sending a shiver down Rinoa's spine. But the kiss was ended all too soon by Squall turning to hand the check to their server.
"Keep it." He said, indicating the additional Gil contained in the envelope.
"Thank you Commander, I do hope you have enjoyed your evening with us here at Le Calandre, and on behalf of all of us I hope we see you again."
"I think they were a little too damn helpful" Rinoa said, still blushing, as they exited the restaurant.
"They get that way when you tip like I do." he said stepping in front of her and raising his elbow in her direction. Was he offering his arm? Not waiting to find out, she grabbed the inside of his elbow, locking their arms together. He did not object.
"Let's go find Selphie and Irvine" Rinoa said as they walked around the block to the nightclub.
Balamb Nights was hot. The music, overpowering. People were packed in, shoulder to shoulder, all the way to the entrance. Rinoa couldn't breathe.
"Is this what dancing is like these days?" Squall shouted at her over the blaring music, noticing how everyone was grinding their hips together. "It's vulgar! SeeD formal diplomacy training never prepared me for this! How are we ever going to find Irvine and Selphie in this?"
"Squall you're a genius. We can't find them, but they'll find us." Rinoa said, smiling at him. He knew that smile. He'd seen it before. It was the same smile she gave him under the shooting star at the SeeD graduation ball.
"Wait what? No. Not here."
"You're the best looking guy here. Dance with me?"
"You know I hate it when you do that."
"C'mon, let's put your SeeD training to good use. Foxtrot?"
"No. Let's do this right. Tango" he said. She beamed at him, and placed her right hand in his left, and her left on his right arm, which went around her back. They began to dance their steps. Slow, slow, quick, quick, slow. He was leading her wonderfully. Corte. That made sense with their lack of space to work with. Corte to fan. Their steps were getting bigger as they gained more room to work with, and people began to take notice. Slowly, everyone stopped dancing to turn and watch as Squall led Rinoa through the promenade with several dramatic turns and spins. At the end of the song, they finished in a dramatic pose with Rinoa's leg wrapped around Squall's waist. Everyone cheered; Selphie and Irvine fought their way to the front of the crowd.
"That was amazing you guys!" Selphie squealed with delight as the regular dancing resumed around them. "It was just like the movies! I wish me and Irvy could dance like that!"
To Rinoa's surprise, it was Squall who next spoke.
"You should know how to do that; you guys received the same formality training I did."
"Apparently they don't teach that at Galbadia Garden." Selphie said with an irritated glance at Irvine.
"I'm too drunk for that anyway" hiccupped Irvine.
"Then you're too drunk to drive, give me the car keys. We're leaving." Squall said, and Irvine obliged him.
Rinoa wasn't sure if Squall meant for them ALL to leave, as Selphie and Irvine could have taken the shuttle back to Balamb Garden, but regardless, Selphie and Irvine followed Squall and Rinoa back to the car. Irvine and Selphie got in the back seat together, while Rinoa sat up front next to Squall.
The ride back was quiet, until Rinoa detected the unmistakable sounds of making out coming from the back seat. She looked back at them, and then gave Squall a worried and apologetic look. He looked at her, then moved his right hand off of the gear lever, and took her hand in his. Rinoa beamed again. This simple gesture from him meant more to her than any drunken make out session ever would.
Half an hour later, they had made it safely back to Garden, said their goodbyes to the very inebriated Selphie and Irvine, and were standing outside of Squalls room.
"Do you wanna...? Um... Come in for a minute?" he asked her hesitantly. Rinoa was taken aback but nodded, and followed him inside.
Once inside she sat down on the bed, and he sat next to her.
"Earlier tonight, after dinner, you said you loved me-"
Rinoa knew what he was going to say and cut him off.
"Look, I know I shouldn't have said that. I was just caught up in the moment. If you were to press me for an answer, then I would say yes, I love you Squall Leonhart. But I understand that it is still too early in our relationship to be saying that, and I don't expect you to say it back. Not at this stage anyway. I meant every word that I said. It's okay to be us. So what if we're not there yet. I wouldn't change anything for the world. So let's just enjoy where we are."
Squall relaxed and gave her a small smile.
"It's okay to be us. Enjoy where we are." he repeated.
"That's right. Although I do have a request, if you will humor me."
"Oh yeah? What would that be?"
Rinoa blushed, and then replied.
"Our second kiss got cut short by that annoying waiter. I was hoping we could-"
Before Rinoa could finish, Squall had captured her lips in his again. And once again, Rinoa felt that shiver down her spine, and butterflies in her stomach. This time, however, it would end on her terms. She wrapped her arms around his neck, and pulled him back onto the bed. Their kiss deepened as Squalls lips parted inviting her tongue into his mouth. She hungrily leapt at the opportunity, pulling him closer as she did so. Their passion was beyond compare, but all good things must come to an end, and although her body craved his, she did not dare ask for more. Not yet. Well, perhaps she dared to ask for just one more thing.
"Squall?" she said releasing her embrace ever so slightly to look him in the eyes. "Do you think it would be ok if I, I mean, this is gonna sound worse than I mean it to. But... I don't want to leave yet and-"
"Then stay with me tonight."
She smiled. He understood her as well as she understood him. She sat up and began to strip down, until she was down to her underwear and the black tank top she wore as an undershirt. She looked back at him, and saw he hadn't begun to undress at all.
"Do you always sleep in your clothes? Because that's not going to work."
She began to undress him, slowly, delicately, and with warm soft kisses as encouragement. When he was down to his t shirt and boxers, she lay back on the bead and pulled him with her. They kissed for a few moments more before Rinoa turned her back to him, taking one of his arms underneath the pillow and the other from over her waist and wrapping both around her torso. Hugging his arms tight to her, she cuddled up close to him, as he threw the blankets over them. It was very comfortable. She was almost asleep when she heard him whisper to her very softly.
"I think I love you, Rin."
