In-Law Enforcement
Benjamin Clawhauser gazed at the beautiful piece of jewelry that had been presented to him. He tried hard to hold back a squeal but a slight high-pitched noise snuck between his lips anyway. Seeing his exuberance, his new fiancé, Chief Bogo smirked a little. They made their way back to Bogo's house, which would soon belong to both of them. Clawhauser sat down on the bed as Bogo went to the bathroom to take care of some things. Clawhauser dialed a number.
"Hello, sweetie, is there something you needed?" asked the older female cheetah on the other end.
"You know Chief Bogo?" Benjamin asked.
"The big strong buffalo you've been dating that you always post about on Muzzlebook?" she continued.
"Yeah," he said, trying and failing to seem calm. "He asked me to marry him!" he screamed, before lying back on the bed and shaking with excitement.
"He did!?" she asked, "Well, what did you say?"
"I said yes!" he yelled with a huge grin, "He's gonna be my husband!"
"Well, then, you know what?" she said, "He needs to come over and meet us."
"Yeah, thanks, Mom," he said, "I'll let him know."
Mrs. Clawhauser hung up the phone and turned to her husband. "Ben's getting married," she said.
Mr. Clawhauser looked up at her and asked, "Ben's getting married?"
"That's what I said," she verified.
He grabbed his wife delightedly, and they jumped up and down elatedly. "Ben's getting married!" they sang in unison repeatedly.
They called up each of their four other children and shared the good news.
Benjamin sighed contentedly, looking down at his phone. "Find something interesting?" Bogo asked, causing Clawhauser to jump a little. "Oops, sorry, kitten, I didn't mean to frighten you."
"No, it's alright, honey," Clawhauser said. "I just told my parents about your proposal."
"You told your parents?" Bogo asked. "Already?"
"Yeah, why?" Clawhauser asked.
"Well, I'm certainly not ready to tell mine," Bogo said.
"Mine really want to meet you," Clawhauser said.
"Oh," Bogo said.
"We have some time off coming up," Clawhauser said, "We should visit them then."
"Yeah," Bogo said. "Oh, by the way, cutie-pie? I have a surprise for you."
"Oh, what's the surprise?" Clawhauser asked.
Bogo whispered something in his ear and then said, "But you can only use it when we're alone, okay, kitten?"
"Yes, sir," Clawhauser said, hugging his fiancé tightly. "But you better believe you'll hear it a lot around the house."
A week later, Bogo was finishing up packing while Clawhauser appeared to be stumped. "Hmm," he said, puzzled, "This can't all fit in my suitcase."
Bogo looked at him with a deadpan expression and said, "Benjamin. Sweetie. We're visiting your family for two days. You don't need fourteen different outfits."
"Well, I'd rather have extras in case of emergency," he responded.
"I can't see what emergency that could possibly render twelve of your outfits unusable, considering that we have only ever had to replace your work uniform because of sizing and wearing out," Bogo said, chuckling.
"It could be the same as any of my four siblings', or either of my parents'," he said, shrugging. "On two days."
"But even then, and assuming that it mattered, wouldn't seven be sufficient?" Bogo asked.
"Oh, you're right!" Benjamin said, "Silly me. I forgot that I can choose to wear clothes on different days." He put away half of his outfits and kept the other seven, causing Bogo to shake his head and roll his eyes. "Now it all fits," he said happily, closing the suitcase.
"Great, that means we can leave," Bogo said. "I'll drive and you navigate."
"That's perfect since, y'know, I know where my family's house is," Clawhauser said.
Six hours later, Bogo and Clawhauser had driven into a spooky wood. "Are you sure we're going the right way, kitten?" Bogo asked, "Because honestly, I'm worried that we might be taken to the Frankenstag place."
"Oh, psh, relax," Clawhauser said, "We always drive through the suspiciously dangerous-looking forest between my parents' house and Zootopia."
"Are you absolutely sure about that?" Bogo asked.
"Are you scared?" Clawhauser asked earnestly, his paw gently rubbing Bogo's arm. "It's okay. I'm here."
Bogo smiled, looking to Clawhauser. "You are so adorable when you try to be protective."
"I can be plenty protective," Clawhauser said, pretending unconvincingly to be offended, "My fur can puff out to make me look like a pompom, and if I get really mad I can make a sound like a deflating tire."
Bogo and Clawhauser laughed hysterically over the latter's impressive bravado, until Bogo had gotten out of the forest safely and back onto the road. "Oh, and I can also make you laugh and forget that you're scared," he added casually, then smiled very widely.
"I love you, Ben," Bogo said, tenderly, smooching the top of his head. He continued down the path until eventually they found the Clawhauser home.
"We're here, honey," Benjamin said.
He rang the doorbell. Mrs. Clawhauser opened the door. "Benjamin!" she said, squeezing him tightly, "How long has it been?"
"Too long," he said.
"And you must be Chief Bogo," she said, looking up at him. She fanned herself. "He's even more attractive in real life."
"Mommy, he's mine," Benjamin whined.
"I know, Ben, I know," she said, "I'm just saying you lucked out snagging this one."
"You… seem quite sincere," Bogo said. He was slightly unsure, but he smiled.
"Well, don't just stand out there, come in. Come in. I heard that buffalo were prey so I made a prey option for dinner," Mrs. Clawhauser said.
"Is it the zucchini bread? He really, really likes the zucchini bread," Benjamin said.
"I know, Ben, you said that before," she said. "So I did make one."
"The… zucchini bread? It's a family recipe?" Bogo asked.
"Well, yeah, I mean… I'm a decent cook but I'm not an amazing chef," Benjamin said, shrugging.
"I love your family already," Bogo said in a joking tone. Benjamin smiled, because he knew that that tone would change considerably to the serious by the end of the night.
"Allow me to introduce the crew. You've met my mom. She loves cooking. She's even won some awards for it," Benjamin said.
"Hey, you must be Chief Bogo. Do you like trout or salmon better?" Mr. Clawhauser asked.
"I'm… not a predator?" he said, raising an eyebrow.
"I know, I'm not talking about just for eating. I mean, honestly, trout are prettier a lot of the time but salmon, they're reliable. And swordfish, now those are really, really cool. They actually taste like nothing I've ever eaten before except, I guess, sharks? You ever eaten a shark? Oh, right, not a predator. Anyway… got this great story where I wrestled fifty oysters for a necklace for Ben's mom," he continued blissfully.
"Does this story have a point?" Bogo asked. Six sets of feline eyes set on him.
Mr. Clawhauser said, "Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so… so… sorry." He burst into tears.
"Ummm…" Bogo said.
"I know my dad's kinda a fish nut," Benjamin whispered, "But he's also really sensitive."
"Like you?" Bogo asked.
"Worse," Benjamin whispered. "We always have to humor his fish stories or he'll feel awful."
"Oh…" Bogo said. He tugged at his collar. "I'm sorry, Mr. Clawhauser, I didn't mean it personally. It's just that I'm sometimes a bit tactless…" Bogo said.
Upon hearing his genuine apology, Mr. Clawhauser hugged Bogo and said, "Oh, that's okay, you can call me Dad."
"I… I can?" Bogo asked. "Alright, I'll take you up on that, Dad."
Benjamin cooed at how well Bogo was taking to his future in-laws. He pointed to a younger, shorter cheetah in a flannel shirt and ripped jeans. "Anyway… this is my big sister, Natasha. You do not want to get her angry."
"How come?" Bogo asked, observing her diminutive stature that rose only a few inches above the red fox officer Nick Wilde.
"Because she's the one who always used to beat up the bullies who picked on me at school," Benjamin said, closing his eyes and smiling.
"You hurt him, you die," the short cheetah threatened.
"Duly noted," Bogo said with a half-lidded expression. "Luckily for you, I would sooner die than hurt him."
"Thanks," Natasha said, offering a fist-bump.
Bogo took her up on the invitation and said, "Keeping Benjamin safe is our first priority, right?"
"You're pretty cool," she said. "Ben's lucky to have you."
Bogo snickered into his hoof and said, "And I'm lucky to have him."
A taller cheetah wearing glasses and an argyle sweater vest walked into the room and sat on a vacant armchair between them. He took out his e-reader, and became engrossed, completely ignoring Bogo and the rest of the Clawhauser clan.
"Dominic!" Mrs. Clawhauser said, "We have a guest."
"Yeah?" Dominic asked. He looked up and saw Bogo. "Hi," he offered.
"Hi," Bogo said. Dominic looked back down at his e-reader. "Is this your brother?" Bogo asked.
"Yeah, Dom's a tom of few words in a crowd, but he's really very smart and kind if you get to know him," Benjamin said. "Kind of like someone else I know."
"I noticed too. I love him already," Bogo said.
"And this…" Benjamin said, "Is the kitten of the family, Chris."
"Hello, Chris," Bogo said.
"Can't talk now," Chris said, "I have somewhere to be."
"Aww, but you just got back from visiting North Felina two weeks ago," Natasha said.
"I know, but… adventure calls," Chris said, donning a safari hat, picking up a map, and running out the door.
Benjamin said, "One day, I'm sure that Chris will have run across every nook and cranny of the world."
"Fascinating," Bogo said, "So where's number four?"
"Oh, you must mean Poppy!" Benjamin said, "Come on out, Poppy!"
Poppy skipped down the stairs, and immediately grabbed Bogo. "Oh my god!" she shouted, "You're so big and buff up close. Ben, I'm jealous."
"You don't have to be," Benjamin said, "I'm sure you'll find someone who loves you later on too."
"Probably won't be as hot as him though," she said.
Bogo blushed. He wasn't expecting the rest of Benjamin's relatives to comment on his appearance quite so much, and if he had to be honest with himself, it made him a little uncomfortable.
"Oh, it's alright, honey," Benjamin said, giving him a kiss on the cheek. "Poppy says that about everyone."
"Everyone?" Bogo asked.
"Well, every guy," Benjamin said. "Like, if you ever thought I was bad about it? She's about ten times worse."
Poppy huffed.
"Benjamin, honey, your flirting was so goddamn subtle that I needed to go through an epiphany to even notice it in the first place," Bogo said.
"Okay, but that's because I was actually in love with you and didn't want to be too forward," Benjamin said. "What about all the other cute boys I constantly talk about?"
"I have literally never heard you talk about other cute boys," Bogo said.
Poppy gasped. "Are you serious?" she asked.
"Oh, uh…" Benjamin said. "I… I guess I fell hard and fast." He bashfully put his arm behind his head and blushed.
"Trust me when I say, that means he really loves you," Poppy said.
"What, did you two have contests to see who could be attracted to more mammals or something?" Bogo joked.
"No," Poppy said, "Although, he would win."
"No… you would," Benjamin said.
"No, you," Poppy said.
"Mm-mm," Benjamin asserted, shaking his head.
"Oh, yeah?" she asked, "Then take this!" Poppy pounced on him and they rolled around on the floor a little bit, but it was obvious they weren't actually fighting. Bogo chuckled.
"Well, dinner's ready!" Mrs. Clawhauser shouted, presenting a meal of crab and zucchini bread. Poppy and Benjamin got up off the ground and found their way to the table. Bogo sat directly between Benjamin and Poppy.
"I can't wait to eat the crab," Mr. Clawhauser said, "You know that one time I had to throw myself at a hostile crab to protect Poppy and Ben."
"That is… absolutely fascinating, Mr. Clawhauser," Bogo said, grinning weakly. "Err, I mean, Dad." Mr. Clawhauser smiled from ear to ear.
"What, are you going to fall in love with all of us?" Natasha asked.
Bogo struggled to maintain his composure.
"Need more zucchini bread?" Mrs. Clawhauser offered upon seeing Bogo's empty plate.
"Sure, thank you," Bogo said politely.
"Buffalo," Dominic said, "Pass the salt."
"Gladly," Bogo responded, handing the seasoning over, with a smile. "It's Bogo, by the way. More personal and fewer syllables.
"Yeah," Dominic said. "Thanks."
"I'm astonished that you don't even think Dom's a little rude," Natasha said.
"I'm not here to be a hypocrite, Natasha," Bogo said.
"You're right," she said, "You're here because you asked Ben to marry you. And remember, that you asked Ben to marry you, not Dom." She glared at him.
"I appreciate and relate to Dom, but he's not my type," Bogo said.
"Same," Dom said, giving a thumbs up while still looking down.
"Relax, Natasha," Benjamin said, "Bogo's way too honest to ever cheat on me. Ever."
"He better be or else I'm gonna…" she muttered under her breath.
Benjamin's phone buzzed. He answered it. "Chris texted. It says 'I'm sorry for bolting so quickly. I forgot to say that I give you my blessing.'"
Bogo smiled very widely and then, just as suddenly, he started to cry slightly.
"Are you okay, honey?" Benjamin asked.
"Yes, Benjamin," Bogo said. "I want your family. Can I have them?"
"Yes," Benjamin said. "That's what being married entails! It also means that I get to share your family."
"Have to," Bogo said, sighing. "You can back out of it if you want."
"I would never!" Benjamin said, shocked at the implication. "Besides, it's easier if you have someone to stand beside you."
Mrs. Clawhauser took out her phone, and then gathered all of the others together and said, "Okay, it's time to take a family picture. Ben, we want you and the new fiancé front and center."
Bogo stood in the middle of the picture, and Benjamin cuddled up against him. Natasha, Dominic, Poppy, and Mr. Clawhauser filed in around them. All of them smiled and the photo was taken, and from that moment on, Bogo was considered a member of the Clawhauser clan.
