WHY DID YOU GO ?

He was lost. Not in the physical way,but in his heart. He had been since Steven disappeared seven years ago. He spent ninety percent of his time looking for him. No one else seemed to believe that he was still alive ,but Brendan knew he was because he could sense it. As crazy as it may sound sometimes it's like he can hear Stevens voice talking to him. Just like the second he had turned up missing Brendan knew something was wrong. Although he had still been in prison at the time he felt it. Then he had finally been released and that's when he started his search for Steven. It had been so long since he had saw him,felt his touch. It seems like the nights get longer as each one comes and goes. He had searched everywhere possible. Now he had private investigators searching for leads also. Everything kept coming up dead ends. Seven fucking years..With the five he'd been inside that made twelve years since he'd been with him. If it hadn't been for Sheamus he'd never been in jail and he would have been there to protect Steven like he should have been. Like he was when Danny Huston threatened him. He can still remember the feeling that came over him when Danny had threatened to kill Steven...At first his heart dropped to his feet,then he panicked, then there was fear and anger, out right burning rage. That's whats drove him to kill the bastard. If only he would have left Steven out of it then things would have been fine. He can deal with what people say and do to him but not Steven or their kids. Leah and Lucas had been threw so much in their young lives. Only two years after he had got released Amy and her new husband had been killed in a plane crash on their was back to New York they had been for a visit and the kids had talked them into letting them go stay a couple of weeks with Cheryl and Nate and that was the only reason the kids hadn't gotten killed also. After the funeral and things the kids decided that they didn't want to go live in the states where Amy's dad had moved shortly after she had. Besides he was to elderly and sick to take care of two teenagers. So Brendan filed papers to try and adopt them. That had been hell. Not to mention the thousands of dollars he'd spent to get them,but every penny was worth it because they were happy and had a stable home. And Brendan had a part of Steven with him.

It was so quite at the club after closing .It was the most relaxing time for Brendan. He was sitting at the bar having his nite cap as always before going home when all of a sudden his and Steven song started playing on the jukebox Most people would have been scared. But Brendan didn't bother to move. He just closed his eyes and listened to the song. He could feel Stevens body against his,feel his lips on his neck,the hot breath on his face. He could smell his scent.

''Love comes outta nowhere baby,

Just like a hurricane."

" Lieing here underneath the stars,

Right next to you."

Brendan missed Steven so much that his heart actually ached. Tears slid down his face and dripped off his chin onto the bar. Why would God do this? Of course he knew why he'd do it to him but not Steven. Because Steven was a wonderful person and his kids needed him more than they needed Brendan. He wasn't the praying kind but he heard himself doing so.''God I haven't prayed to you since I was a little boy and you didn't listen then. But I thought maybe since it wasn't for me you might listen and help Steven and his kids. None of them deserve this. I love them and want whats best for them. Please do this for them. And if you let Steven be alive and come home to his kids I'll leave him alone and let him live his life how he wants and with who he wants . The river of tears continued. Brendan didn't bother with the shot glass after the first he just started drinking from the bottle. He had no ideal how many hours had passed,he had been sitting in that same spot .He sighed loudly, got up he was headed toward his office when he thought he heard someone at the door. He stopped and listened but didn't hear anything again so figured it was the wind blowing the sign or lights. He thought about staying here tonight because it was snowing and really cold. but for some reason decided he needed to go home with the kids. He checked to make sure everything was stocked and that heat hadn't been turned down to low. Then made his rounds to turn all the inside lights off and make sure the outside one on .He grabbed his coat and opened the door. The brisk night air took his breath as it hit him in the face. He wished he had drove now. He turns to lock the door when he saw blood smeared on the door handle and wall.''Where in the world …."he thought out loud. Then he looked down and saw drops of blood in the snow leaving a trail. Brendan was shocked to see blood on the cat walk. At the top step there was quite a lot of it where the person had set down for a while. There were bloody hands prints in the snow as well. Jesus Brendan thought who ever this was had to be hurt badly. He thought about calling the police then thought better of it in case the person had been hurt in the club and no one had bothered to tell him about it. When he got to the bottom step the blood went up the street and back towards the back of the club where they took deliveries and stacked crates .He looked up the street and saw nothing. He started walking to the back when a light gray and white cat jumped from behind the stairs Brendon started to shoo it away when he noticed that it looked wet,but upon a closer look he noticed it was blood. He thought that maybe someone had picked the cat up earlier and got blood on their hand and wiped the wall trying to get it off. That was a good enough explanation for him,surely someone would have seen something if it had been anything else. He turned and was leaving when he saw something move under the steps.''Is there somebody under there? If it is then you need to get the fuck out now !"That's when he heard a gurgling sound. He slowly moved around the stacked crates .Then he remembered he had a pen light on his keys. He tried to shine the light from where he stood but there was no way he was going to see anything.''Fuck '' he said loudly. He had to move some crates. He made a mental note to have one of the staff to re stack those tomorrow. When he shined the light toward the sound he heard,what he found made him take a step back and pause.''Oh my God .what has happened to you?''