Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to Harry Potter. It belongs to J.K. Rowling… unfortunately.
Note 1: Bellatrix is NOT in love with Voldemort.
Note 2: In this story Andromeda is older than Bellatrix.
Note 3: Everybody will be a little OOC.
Note 4: Narcissa and Lucius are already married, and so are Bellatrix and Rodolphus.
Bellatrix was never one to ask for help or advice from others. Especially not family members. Yet there she sat in Malfoy Manor across from her younger sister Narcissa.
"You wanted to talk about something?" Narcissa asked.
Looking into Narcissa's eyes, Bellatrix revealed, "I'm pregnant."
Narcissa starred at Bellatrix. She couldn't believe Bellatrix was pregnant. She'd never thought of what Bellatrix would be like as a mother.
Finally, Narcissa spoke, "Have you told Rodolphus?"
"No, I don't even know if I want to keep it. It's not like he's got a choice," Bellatrix responded.
"Bella! You can't avoid telling him! It's his child! It is his, isn't it?" Narcissa asked.
"Of course it is. Do you think me some kind of whore?" Bellatrix shouted.
"No, of course not. It's just … that you don't seem to care what Rodolphus thinks. As your husband and father of your child he should get a say in what happens," Narcissa said.
Angrily Bellatrix walked to the window and looked out to the grounds.
"I'm not like you Cissy!" she snapped. "I won't let a man control me! This is my decision, my body, my choice, not his, and certainly not yours!"
Narcissa looked down at her hands but did not apologize. She was convinced she was right, but knew better than to argue with Bellatrix.
"How far along are you?" Narcissa asked.
"A month," Bellatrix answered, a slight edge to her voice.
"Do you want to keep it?"
Her gaze still locked on the grounds, Bellatrix responded, "I don't know," she paused. "It'll turn my whole life upside down."
"Bella, having a child is a wonderful event. You ought to be thrilled-"
"Thrilled? What is there to be thrilled about? It will do nothing but ruin my life!" Bellatrix snapped. "What good could possibly come from it?" she whispered as she placed her hands on her flat abdomen.
Staring at her older sister, Narcissa wondered for once if pregnancy suited Bellatrix. For the first time since they were children Bellatrix looked utterly confused and vulnerable. She reminded Narcissa of years ago when Bella was only 11. The day she was to go to Hogwarts for the first time, how terrified she had been. Scared to embarrass herself or her family, scared of what it would be like to be on her own without their parents there to tell her what to do.
Narcissa remembered it all. She remembered how Bellatrix had come back confident, independent, and free to do what she pleased.
Standing up Narcissa placed a comforting had on Bella's shoulder. For a moment, the sisters stood by the window looking out to the grounds. They watched a peacock make its way to its family.
After moments of silence, Bellatrix pulled away and sat down. Narcissa followed her example and took the seat opposite Bellatrix.
"Do you plan on telling Rodolphus?" Narcissa asked. "Even if you decide not keep the baby he deserves to know."
"I can't raise a child, Cissy." Bellatrix said.
"Why not?" Narcissa couldn't understand what Bellatrix was talking about.
"I'm not like you, I'm not a housewife, and I never will be! I'm a Death E-" Bellatrix stopped. How could she have forgotten? "The Dark Lord! What will he think? What am I going to do?"
"Bella," Narcissa began. She leaned forward and placed a comforting hand on Bella's hand. Gathering courage, she continued "being a Death Eater doesn't mean you can't be a mother too. You may be unconventional, but a mother nonetheless."
Bellatrix starred at Narcissa unsure of what she was trying to say. Could she really keep the baby?
Lestrange Manor was a large, ancient place, built centuries ago. It reminded Bellatrix of her childhood home, only she didn't feel caged or suffocated by overbearing parents. Nevertheless, while not a cage it was a cold place, filled with century's worth of history. Every room filled with priceless works of art and history. Everything had a story, a tale to tell, or represented someone of great importance.
As she entered the master bedroom, Bellatrix thought of all the previous Mrs. Lestrange. She knew she was nothing like them. Not utterly devoted to her husband, not dependent on him, not doting. She imagined when they first discovered they were pregnant they were ecstatic. It was their goal in life to marry an heir, run his household, and give him heirs of his own. They had been brainwashed from the moment they were born to believe that it was their sole purpose. Find a suitable man, and please with heirs.
And as much as her mother had tried to do the same with Bellatrix, she never accepted it. She was always a wild, untamable free spirit. That was one of the reasons Rodolphus was perfect for her. He understood her and didn't try to control her.
Rodolphus wasn't like other pureblood heirs. Rod had always let her be herself, he never expected her to behave like Narcissa, and even better, he liked that she didn't. Rodolphus liked that she didn't bow to his every wish. He liked her fiery, headstrong personality. Bellatrix had never been like the other pureblood girls. She was never desperate to impress the heirs of prestigious families.
Bellatrix walked to bed and curled up. After her talk with Narcissa, she had decided to tell Rodolphus of her pregnancy. Not that it would matter. He'd probably want her to get rid of it. He loved her, Bellatrix was sure of that, but he knew her better than anyone else did. He would see that she couldn't possibly be a good mother.
Rodolphus had seen Bella at her best and worst. He knew what she was capable of, and that alone showed that she would be a horrible mother. Still, part of Bellatrix wanted to keep the child. Rodolphus would make a great father. He was for the most part open about his emotions; he cared for Bella, and took care of her. He would no doubt to the same for a child, but it wouldn't be fair to him.
She felt tears falling and didn't even try to stop them. She was alone. Bellatrix knew that as great of a father Rod would be, but that it was virtually impossible for them to raise a child. They were Death Eaters. Their lives were about killing and torturing people. They couldn't bring a child and innocent being into their world. She didn't even want to think what the child would grow up like raised in their world.
"Bella?"
Bellatrix sat up and found her husband the foot of their bed. He was staring at her, worry written all over his face. Noticing the tears, he quickly came to her side and wrapped his arms around her.
"What's wrong?" Rodolphus asked. The only time he'd ever seen her this emotional was when Andromeda ran away with the mudblood. She'd been devastated that her older sister had abandoned her family and become a blood traitor.
Bellatrix seemed to lose control and buried her face in his chest, tears streaming down her face. She knew that they couldn't raise a child, but she didn't feel right killing her child. She had killed before and never felt regret or remorse, but this was different. It would be Rodolphus and Bella's child; she didn't think she could stomach killing it.
"Bella, tell me what happened? What's wrong?" Rodolphus asked.
Finally looking up from his chest, Bellatrix whispered, "I'm pregnant."
Especial thanks to my sister who listened to me rant about this story.
This is my first Harry Potter fic, Please leave a review.
