A/N: This is just the beginning! This chapter was mostly to set up the situation and the base for my story and such. PLEASE review and tell me what you liked and what you didn't!
And yes, it's unfortunate but true; I DO NOT own NCIS or its characters. I do, however, own this story!
Chapter One: Alone
Tony stretched and yawned. There was a little silver alarm clock sitting in front of him that Abby had gotten for his birthday, so he wouldn't forget to go home at night. He'd been looking at it about every ten seconds for the past hour. He didn't really have to get this report done tonight… but he didn't really see the appeal in going to see his team at the bar. At least, not tonight. What was the point of going to a bar if he couldn't drink?
He ran a hand through his hair, irritated. He missed his team. He missed Ziva, especially. He missed being able to be laid back, to be no-worries… or at least to seem that way. Now he was… turning into Gibbs.
Jesus, I'm not even 45.
Which led him to another thought.
I'm not even married.
Tony had never been one for commitment. But now he wondered why he was alone. He wondered why he wasn't in love and married by now. He used to blame it on losing Jeanne, but deep down he knew that she wasn't meant to be.
Am I unlovable?
He shook his head.
"This is why I shouldn't be alone," he said aloud, and took a sip of water. "I start thinking too much,"
He heard footsteps behind him, and he subtly put his hand on his gun.
"Is that right, Tony?" A familiar voice said, and he suppressed a smile and turned to meet her.
"What is it you think too much about?" She asked, and pulled up a chair in front of him.
"Non of your business, Agent David," He said teasingly, still with a leftover pang of want, though it was less wild now that he was older.
She looked at him, trying to read his face. She was much too confident in her abilities to know what he was thinking. The only times she knew what was going on in his head was when he secretly wanted her to. This was not one of those times.
"I thought you said you would stop by," Ziva said with a gentle, prodding tone.
"I said I'd stop by if I finished this," he said, showing her the thick file.
She snorted. "That report is not due for another week and we both know it. Why are you avoiding us, Tony?"
"I'm not avoiding you. I'm working," he answered coolly .
Ziva rubbed her face. "We are worried about you,"
"By we, do you mean you?" his tone turned icy.
"Tony. Do not make this about us, please," she said tiredly.
He thought about that, then dropped the file on his desk with unneeded force.
"Well then tell me, Agent David, what exactly would be the point of 'stopping by'?"
"Because you always used to come. Always. Even Gibbs is showing up now. He is worried about you," She said, getting frustrated.
"So?" He got up and picked up his bag. "That doesn't mean I'm under contract, does it?" He tried to move around his desk, but she stood in front of him. Though she was much shorter, her presence beat his by a mile.
"You are under contract to take care of your team. Do not turn into Gibbs. Do not shut me out. Tell me, what is wrong, Tony?" She frowned at him. "You used to tell me everything,"
"Well, Ziva, now I'm boss, I can't be taking risks like that," He tried to slide by her again, but she moved with him.
"Taking risks?" She growled. "What happened to the DiNozzo who made love to me in a hotel room in Paris?"
He made an angry face. "You should forget about that," He said.
"Forget. You want me to forget that?" her voice grew louder.
"It's over, Ziva, right?" he said snidely.
"Tony. It is over for us, yes, but not for you and your team! Just because you are boss does not mean you must distance yourself from them! Don not try to tell me that being boss changed things. You treated me no different when Gibbs left,"
"Did it ever occur to you that they might not be who I'm distancing myself from?" He gave her a pointed stare, and this time brushed past her and left her standing, in silence.
It wasn't her he was really angry at. He was angry that he'd let the two women he loved slip by, and now he was left alone, most likely for life. He was angry that the damn rules kept him from Ziva. He was angry that she stole the opportunity from him to be happy for the rest of his life. Now, he felt too old to get married. Too old to start again… just old enough to start sitting alone in Gibbs' basement with a bottle of whiskey. Actually, he was more of a vodka guy…
A/N: The plot will thicken! If you liked this chapter, please wait for the next installment!
