Prompt 3: List seven reasons to turn down a marriage proposal.


7. She proposed – What kind of girl even does that? I thought proposing, beer and balls were guy things. What kind of fool embarrasses the hell out of her boyfriend by slipping a diamond ring in his glass? And it wasn't even my glass, really. It was a bloody stupid Mr Bear coffee cup that Nonoko gave me on my birthday last year and I'm too lazy to throw away because it means that I'll have to go shop for a new mug.

6. The manner of proposal – I reiterate: What. The. Hell? A ring in a mug thrown in my frickin' face when we were both supposed to be sitting and watching the match? Really? You're going to spring a marriage proposal on me during the game of the season and you don't even have the decency to wait until half-time?

5. If I say yes, it will wind up being A Wedding and Three Funerals – Ruka, Koko and Mochu are going to die. Those bastards knew all about this stupid plan Hotaru and Anna hatched of having Mikan propose to me (since I'm apparently 'an emotionally retarded individual with the emotional quotient of a pear'). Ruka helped them with the planning. He claims Hotaru blackmailed him into it but considering he had to break off to snort with laughter at least three times in between, I doubt it. He really needs to stop hanging out with Koko. Speaking of: that son of a bitch calls himself my friend. And he didn't have the fucking decency to at least give me a heads up about this mad scheme? A warning or a gun to shoot myself with would have been pretty damn helpful. As for Mochu, that asshat was laughing. Standing there and laughing and asking me whether I wanted a demi-train or lace veil on my Big Day because the pants clearly belonged to Mikan.

4. I will undoubtedly be shoved into a monkey suit for the occasion and forced to march down an aisle of nauseatingly scented flowers –The cost alone will ruin me. Because God forbid that Mikan picks anybody expect Imai to be her wedding planner. The only thing left in my account will be dust. And all so that I can be forced to participate in an out-dated ritual that has no significance other than a certain degree of symbolic value in the eyes of the very society that I work so hard to piss off.

3. There will be a priest there – A priest. Enough said. Natsume Hyuuga does not hang out with priests. Period.

2. I shall be obliged to express exactly the kind of Public Display of Affection that I loathe – We'll have to say our vows in front of everyone. I'll have to talk flowery crap in front of a bloody audience about how I'll support her, love her, take care of her and cherish her forever. Haven't I been doing that shit since we were both kids? Why the fuck do I need to say stuff like that?

1. Because if I marry Mikan Sakura I'll have to admit to myself that I've fallen in love with her.