I'll Only Be That Lucky Once
Ch 1 Tainted Beef and MDS
Dr. House sat in exam room 1 listening to a patient's tale while playing his PSP.
"I saw a report on the news about some tainted beef and I ate beef last week and..."
"How do you feel?" asked House
"Well, alright I guess."
"No vomiting?"
"No"
"Diarrhea?"
"None"
"You, unfortunately, seem fine."
"Unfortunately?"
"Yes it's very unfortunate. For one thing, you just wasted 10 minutes of my life. Worse, you made me bored and I don't get to do anything cool with you. And, worse for you, I have to justify your trip here by prescribing some of the world's most expensive vitamins to you," House responded.
"But... but..."
House opened his mouth to reply, but his pager went off. It said, "I need your help - Wilson"
"Well, it appears we have both been saved by the bell. Go home and stop watching the news. Try MTV."
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"What's up?" House asked as he caught up with Wilson in the hall.
"Seven year old female, on the way to the hospital for a consult, developed a fever, sore throat, headache, nausea, and vomiting."
"Why are you telling me this? It's a seven year old with the flu. Am I here to alert the media? Go get a pediatrician," House responded.
Wilson continued, undeterred, "As the trip continued, she developed abdominal pain, joint pain and stiffness."
"Oh, poor baby. What is this? Another fake cousin? Is it a homeless kid?!"
"Then, as they pulled into the hotel in Princeton, she began seizing," Wilson was a man on a mission.
"Slightly cooler, but not much," House conceded. "Is Cuddy putting you up to some trick? Are you gonna make me go without Vicodin for another week?" House asked as he sped up past Wilson. An odd look crossed Wilson's face, but he called out to House's retreating back, "She's immune compromised- she was diagnosed with MDS a few months ago."
House stopped dead in his tracks and came back to Wilson. "You meant MDS as in a myelodysplastic syndrome, right?"
Wilson nodded yes.
"And you're not confusing a 7 year old girl with a 57 year old man?"
Wilson shook his head no.
"Well then, I'm finally interested. Walk with me my friend, talk with me."
"Okay, where to?" Wilson asked, a little unsure.
"Where else? The patient's bedside," House responded.
"Why?" questioned Wilson, nervous about what House's answer would be.
"If kids with cancer as common as an MRI order are brave little soldiers, I want to see how brave a kid with a one in a million illness that's not even supposed to strike her gender or age group is."
"You're... You're," Wilson fumed.
"An ? I know. I've heard that one before."
