Author's Note: Good God, it's been a while! And we have a new incarnation!
So this is my first take on the new Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles series. I gotta say, it is SO WEIRD writing Leo as the jokey, laidback turtle when I'm so used to writing him all angsty. I mean, this fic still has him a little angsty, but not by much. This fic is also on the short side just because I'm still getting used to writing the turtles with their different Rise! personalities and also because I haven't written fan fiction in about 2 years or so. Forgive me if this fic is a little slow-paced; it's been awhile. -_-
Hope you all enjoy! Also, this fic is dedicated to byrdybyrd02 over on Tumblr, who wanted an angsty Leo. :)
Between his fingers, he could feel his heart beating; a slow, rhythmic tempo that matched with the gentle rising and falling of his chest. He stared blankly up at the ceiling, eyelids heavy due to lack of sleep, though his brain wouldn't shut itself off.
He was tired.
So. Very. Tired.
So tired that he just lied there. Motionless. One had resting over his plastron while the other hung precariously over the edge of his bed, legs spread wide while his blanket draped over just his right calf and nothing else, despite it being close to wintertime.
This was stupid. His brain was stupid. Why the hell couldn't it just shut itself off already?
.
.
.
"With my last breath, I told you so!"
.
.
.
Leonardo sighed, pushing himself up to a sitting position before resting his face in the palms of his hands. He let out a drawn-out groan – whether it was from sleep deprivation or frustration, he didn't know – rubbing so aggressively at his eyes that he started to see little white spots every time he blinked. He knew why he couldn't sleep. Knew why he couldn't shut his brain off. He just didn't want to admit it to himself.
Or, in all honesty, didn't want to admit it to him….
Letting out one more sigh, Leo rose from his bed with his blanket draped comfortably over his shoulders. Last he checked, it was 3am, but that still didn't stop him from poking his head out to make sure everyone was still sound asleep. With the coast clear, he made his way down the hall, light footsteps barely making even the smallest of sounds. He could feel the ends of his blanket dragging across the cold, unforgiving floor, causing him to wrap it tighter around his body; like the warm embrace of a forgiving hug.
"I just knew if I didn't save your life, I'd never hear the end of it from you."
He turned his head to the side and shut his eyes, suppressing a nervous whimper as he gently knocked on Raphael's door. No one answered, which wasn't surprising. Hell, if he knew his stupid subconscious wasn't going to keep him up until the wee hours of the morning, Leo would've just shrugged his shoulders and marched his happy ass back to bed. But he knew he had to do this. Not just for himself, but for his brother as well.
"With my last breath, I told you so!"
Fingers curled into fists, he let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding in and stepped inside. Though their father trained them in the art of stealth and to be ready for battle at any given moment, Raphael was still a pretty heavy sleeper. And a loud snorer, making Leo thank God the four of them no longer shared a room together. Still, he made sure to approach his brother's bed quietly, due to the off chance he'd wake him up and send the 200-pound snapper straight for him in line of defense. He was already pretty sleep deprived, so the chances of Leo being able to wiggle free from a Raph's muscle-bound, vice-like grip were slim to none.
"Raph?" Leonardo whispered at the foot of his brother's bed. The red-banded snapper merely snored in response, causing Leo to lift a finger and give his brother a gentle tap. "Raphael. Hey. I'm gonna need you to wake for a sec."
With enough poking and prodding, Raphael nuzzled his face into his pillow before blinking tiredly up at his brother. "Leo?"
"Heyyyyy," Leo waved sheepishly, his blanket slowly slipping down one shoulder. "Sooooo, you sleeping alright? Any interesting dreams?"
"Leo, it's-" Raphael grumbled, his eyes flitting back and forth as if he were looking for a clock. "-it's the middle of the friggin' night."
"Mmhmm. Technically it's three-quarters of the night, but ya know, good guess, Raphie Boy. Mind if I skootch on in here?" He didn't wait for Raphael to give him an answer, already wedging himself between the covers. Without even so much as a whine of protest, Raphael wiggled himself backwards to make room for his younger brother, his mattress creaking at the added extra weight. Though he was already wrapped in his own blanket like a burrito, that didn't stop Leo from hogging most of Raphael's own blankets, tugging at them greedily before resting his head against the pillow and letting out a content sigh.
Propping his head up with his arm, Raphael stared down tiredly at his younger brother. "Couldn't sleep?"
"Not a wink," Leo moaned, his body remaining motionless once again.
"You wanna talk about it?"
"I wanna sleep, that's what I wanna do," Leo snapped, though his tone sounded more frustrated than angry.
Not one to pry, Raphael shrugged his shoulders and rested his head against his pillow. "Well, you already woke me up, so if ya need to talk, I'll listen."
Leo let out an aggravated growl, shooting up from bed and ripping the blanket clean from Raphael's body. "How are you even able to sleep after what happened tonight? Baron Draxum pretty much yeeted me off a thirty-story building! I almost died!"
Raphael raised a quizzical eyebrow, completely unphased by his brother's outburst. "Yeah, and I saved you. Otherwise-"
"-Otherwise I wouldn't let you hear the end of it, yes, I know," Leo seethed, the bags under his eyes emphasizing how irritated he was.
"With my last breath, I told you so!"
He could feel his shoulders sagging, the look of defeat eminent on his face despite how dark it was in Raphael's room. The red-banded snapper, however, didn't have to see Leo's face in order to sense that something was wrong. That something was eating away at his thoughts, gnawing hungrily with a gluttonous appetite.
"Leo-"
"-You're a great leader, Raph."
"Huh?" Well that certainly took him by surprise. "Uhh, thanks? But what-"
"I don't want…" He paused, fingers curling and uncurling nervously, as if he were clawing for the right words to say. "I don't want what I said earlier to be my last words. That I told you so. That I was right, and you were wrong. What if I had died tonight, Raphael? What if you all came home tonight, without me, and those were the very last words I said to you?"
"Leo…" Raphael didn't know what to say. What could he say? It wasn't too often that Leo allowed himself to show his vulnerable side. Sure, he whined and complained about the little things, but never did he open himself up and let his true feelings spill out – not without covering them up with a few jabs of dark humor and sarcastic, dry wit. Leo was the laidback one of the group who typically faced his problems by either laughing them off or shrugging them off. So to have him here, in his bed, lying emotionally exposed three-quarters of the night – well it was enough to make Raphael think he was dreaming.
But he wasn't dreaming.
He also wasn't talking.
So he did the only thing he could do at that moment. He reached over towards his younger brother and hugged him. He hugged him tight, though not tight enough to where he was forcing the air out of his lungs. No, Raphael knew his own strength and used it carefully whenever he wasn't wrestling with his brothers or sparring with them in the dojo. He held Leonardo close, allowing his brother to hesitantly wrap his arms carefully around his spiked shell, his face buried in the crook of his neck. "I'm sorry I can be such a dick sometimes."
Raphael chuckled. "Sometimes? Try all the time, bro."
He could feel Leonardo's shoulders slacking in annoyance. "I'm trying to be apologetic here and you're kinda making it really hard for me not to get up and just say screw you."
Raphael shrugged, giving his brother a nice pat on the shell before releasing him of his hold. "Yeah, but I know you wouldn't mean it. Just like I know what you said before you got tossed off the roof wouldn't have been your last words. I ain't writing that on your tombstone just so it can mock me every time I visit your grave."
Leonardo let out a mock gasp. "So you'd defile my death by making something up? That is so uncool, Raph. And knowing you, it'd be something stupid. Like, 'you're a great leader, Raph'."
"Hey, but – but that's literally what you just said two minutes ago!"
Leonardo shrugged. "I'm sleep deprived. Half this conversation probably didn't even make any sense. Good night!" He yawned, giving his arms a good stretch before plopping himself against Raphael's pillow, the pull of sleep now finally taking over before he was instantly out like a light.
Shoulders slack, Raphael glowered impatiently at his younger brother, muttering to himself before he too, allowed himself to go back to sleep. However, before Raphael could get himself comfortable, he could feel Leonardo shift right next to him, glancing over his shoulder. "Hey, thanks for listening."
"Anytime, bro," Raphael smiled, his eyes slowly fluttering shut as he nuzzled against his pillow. "Anytime."
