Blink: Suì-Fēng/Yoruichi-
A/N: I dunno. I'm in some sort of weird YoruSoi fix right now. But it'll pass. Eventually. Probably. LOL. So here's to my first Bleach fic, as well as my first . . . yuri, for that matter. Hurray? Anyway, total shoujo-ai, so don't like, don't read. You have been warned. :O
Disclaimer: Tite Kubo owns Bleach. Not me.
Why is it that the sunlight is always attracted to her? Why is it that it's always glinting off of her hair, long and mauve, always enhancing her smile, bright and wide, yet almost endearingly feline?
Why is it that the sun seems to be shining on her now, like she's some all star, (not that Suì-Fēng objects) as she tears down the straight away of their high school's rubbery track, one hundred meters. The sunlight catches her form and what with how fast she sprints, left foot, right foot, rapid, nearly a purple blur and probably striking sparks, she appears like a flash of yellow lightning.
Really. Blink and you'll miss her. Blink and feel disappointed, because someone that quick, that elegant and nimble, that gorgeous and carefree, that funny and good-natured (and really, what is Suì-Fēng rambling about?) only happens upon the earth once a millennia.
She crosses the finish line in no less than eight seconds, her trademark ponytail flowing out behind her.
It's alright to blink now, but still, Suì-Fēng doesn't, studying her with rapt attention, noting how she doesn't appear to be winded in the slightest. She has such endurance that it's enviable.
Truthfully, she has a lot of traits of which Suì-Fēng envies, namely her body, so feminine and well-endowed and her frisky personality, always with that clever Cheshire grin. It's this smile that gives her heart a jolt, this smile that makes her blush and turn away, stuttering meekly, yet causes her feel so thrilled, as if she were on cloud nine.
She's so great and Suì-Fēng only wishes that she can at least come close, at least be able to make her feel as happy as she often makes her feel.
"What's up, Suì-Fēng?" Once that voice reaches her ears, that rich, cocky timbre, Suì-Fēng actually succeeds in jumping about two feet into the air, startled, despite that she's frozen stiff.
Oh, crap, really, how pathetic is she, loosing track of who she's supposedly watching like that? She can already feel the blood flooding to her cheeks and in all honesty, these sensations are quite a nuisance, but strangely. . . lovely all the same.
She turns around slowly to meet the captain of the ladies' high school track and field team, her gaze instantly shooting to the ground once said captain uses a drinking bottle to dampen her purple locks, water rolling down her face and the dark skin of her neck . . . .
Y-Yoruichi-sama . . . .
Yes, Yoruichi-sama, (though it's -san when aloud), two years her senior, tall with skin like rich coffee and captivating eyes like molten gold. Yoruichi-sama, her captain who she can confide in with anything, and also who she'll like to call her best friend, outgoing and spirited, yet on the rough side- and again, why can't she stop rambling?
Why does this always happen to her?
"Suì? Hey, you look a little flustered there . . . ."
Suì-Fēng chews out the inside of her cheek. She doesn't really know why she's flustered herself (exactly), but there can be numerous excuses, really. For one thing, they're out here running around a track in this stifling weather (despite that she's finished with her laps for the day and is merely stretching lightly to ease sore muscles.)
But instead, Suì-Fēng chooses probably the lamest of them all, "No, um, it's just . . . you're fast."
Yoruichi grins at her rather haughtily, with a foxy sort of smirk, water still dripping down into the dip of her orange tank top, and Suì-Fēng feels her knees go weak, but seriously, it must be from all the sprinting. "Still in awe, Vice Captain?"
And the way she says that, too, it's as if she's implying something else . . . .
"I guess," Suì-Fēng replies, albeit somewhat cautiously, seating herself in the grass near the track and begins touching her toes. "Your speed is unfathomable. It doesn't get old."
Yoruichi follows suit, still with that unyielding, warm smile, so close that their shoulders occasionally brush, sending odd, though exhilarating, shocks along the edge of Suì-Fēng's spine.
She casts her senior a glance almost questioning, but Yoruichi doesn't seem to notice, telling her cheerfully, "Thanks, Suì-Fēng, though you're pretty awesome yourself."
And Suì-Fēng inhales a little too sharply at that, as her face heats (which is most likely from the sun, always shining on Yoruichi, who happens to be beside her) and it appears that Yoruichi's paid no mind, except, when Suì-Fēng peeks discreetly at her, it's as if she were wearing a coy sort of expression.
Um. Well. Suì-Fēng turns away quickly (because just since Yoruichi flirts with everyone, it doesn't mean she's serious.) and bends one leg behind herself lightly in a hurdler's stretch for around ten seconds. Next, she presses the bottoms of her feet together and pulls her heels in, relaxing her hamstrings, again for ten seconds. All the while, Yoruichi follows her movements, their roles ironically reversed.
When she stands, her sempai does as well, and for some reason, Suì-Fēng pauses and lets Yoruichi lead as she spreads her legs and bends to touch her toes. Only Suì finds that she can't help peeping over at Yoruichi, at Yoruichi and her strong, toned legs, Yoruichi and her tantalizingly moist skin, Yoruichi, whose brilliant, topaz eyes are now focused mischievously, tauntingly, at her.
"Staring again?"
Suì-Fēng flinches, straight as a rod, looking away so that it's pretty obvious that she can't have been looking at Yoruichi's rear, and damn it, why is it that she is so apparent when she is usually one of supreme stealth? She's lasted this whole time, shoving feelings that are probably nonexistent down into the very depths of her being, and they only happen to slip, resurface, a few times like this, but her captain is just so perceptive.
Yet, she should know that nothing goes unnoticed from the cat's all-seeing eye.
However, Suì-Fēng has somewhat paid mind to that, as she acknowledges that she has to distance herself from her senior when they get too close, lest her heart go on a rampage, has to ignore the hot feeling of want every time their bodies make contact, dismiss that look Yoruichi sometimes gives her, that soft look of affection, because everyone knows that she can only be teasing, really.
Shihouin Yoruichi, Twelfth Grade Tease. An appropriate title alongside Shunshin, and Exquisite, and Divine, and so utterly Perfect.
Suì-Fēng averts her eyes, face burning. She just wants this to stop, honestly, these needless feelings capable of ruining what relationship she already has with her team captain. These stupid emotions . . . how much shall she dig before they finally stay buried?
Quite abruptly, Suì dusts off her shorts and turns in another direction, towards the bleachers, stating simply, "I think I'm going to go now, so I'll see you later, Yoruichi-san."
Seriously. She should leave now before all this troublesome sentiment ends up gushing out from somewhere else.
But before she can even take a step, the goddess calls, "Wait."
And Suì-Fēng waits, all frozen, but still uncomfortably heated inside, because something is really wrong with her body when it comes to the older girl. All it wants to do is listen, listen, listen.
She just can't pass up the chance to hear her voice one last time for the day.
Silver eyes flicker back carefully. "What . . . is it?"
A dark hand closes gingerly around Suì-Fēng's wrist and she can't pull away, despite that oddly exciting sensation of being electrocuted. Plus, there's that blush again, that frigging perpetual blush, whilst butterflies infest her stomach mercilessly, and if she doesn't sit down soon, she might even pass out, she's so breathless.
When Suì-Fēng hesitantly glances up, she's staring into luminous, sunny eyes, but instead of impish, they're rather . . . warm. Not that they're ever cold, but this unexpected warmness takes her aback, because she knows it's this same expression reflected in her eyes whenever she thinks of Yoruichi.
"You should . . . just go on and tell me, Suì," Yoruichi's tone is low, close to a whisper and so uncharacteristic. Yet, despite the quietness, Suì-Fēng recoils as if it's shouted, "that you like me."
Her sempai's hand is still holding onto her wrist and it's like fire is coming from said hand, traveling up her arm with a burn.
Her breath is shuddering. Instead of meeting Yoruichi's gaze, she turns her attention to where their bodies connect.
"W-Well, of course I like you," Suì-Fēng mutters stubbornly, her bottom lip between her teeth. "You're a likeable person."
"No, not like that." The girl with skin like cocoa and eyes like the sun releases her grip, offering her an amused grin that is only a tiny bit like a cat, hands on her hips. "You have a crush on me; admit it, Suì-Fēng."
Suì-Fēng can feel herself trembling, feel herself readying to just confess to it, to just end all this hiding of her emotions that is definitely much more than a crush. But instead, she narrows her eyes fairly defiantly.
"And how should I even answer such a brash insinuation?"
Yoruichi's own gaze fails to waver as she steps toward Suì, the sun following her every movement, making it all the more enrapturing as she utters gently, "Kiss me?"
And at that, Suì-Fēng's entire facade shatters into tinny, indiscernible fragments. She lets the heat flood her cheeks, her breath spiral out of control, her body quiver, let's her eyes shimmer with that feeling she's been trying to drown, stammering, "K-K-Kiss you? Y-Yoruichi-sama, w-why sh-?"
"Suì-Fēng," the older girl says quietly, and Suì halts, halts because of that liquid look in Yoruichi's eyes, halts because of the way that look makes her feel: wanted.
Wanted, such a special feeling, but even more so when it's from Yoruichi who can have anything in the world since she's a Shihouin, but chooses to want her.
"Y-Yes?" Oh, jeez. When have they gotten so close? So impossibly chest to chest, her captain gazing down at her with such compassion that it is so . . . so . . . gosh, who even cares about hiding? Her feelings for Yoruichi has been bound to come about sometime, so why not now, now when Yoruichi is looking at her this?
"Please?" The corner of Yoruichi's lips quirk upward as she cocks her head endearingly, an act of timidity that Suì-Fēng's never witnessed from her senior before.
But to her surprise, Suì-Fēng hesitates and doesn't move any closer. "B-But Yoruichi-san, d-do you really . . . I-I mean . . . ?" Because who can forget that Yoruichi's a tease, despite her sincere face, despite those genuine emotions present in her voice? "Why would you say that?"
"You're so unsubtle, but still, you're too chicken to admit what you want. So I'll go first." Oh, how the intensity of her gaze, amused yet adoring, turns everything of Suì-Fēng's to mush. "I . . . I really like you, Suì."
"I . . ." To hear her say this . . . to have this sensation of pure ecstasy flowing through her . . . . Their lips are merely centimeters apart and Suì would like so badly for this distance to be destroyed. This heat she is feeling within, this ardent inferno . . . it won't be extinguished ever, she realizes idly, no matter how much she's attempted to put it out.
"I . . ." So close, so close, and Yoruichi tilts her head, golden eyes more alive than Suì's ever seen, her hand, soft and warm, cupping her cheek.
I like you too. I really like you too, Yoruichi, if you're even true about liking me, but if not, if you really are only teasing me . . .
"I can't." They blink at the same time, and Suì-Fēng watches, disheartened, as the passion slowly dies from her captain's gaze, replaced with confusion.
. . . I can't let you pull away first.
She can hardly believe that she's just said that, that these are the words to escape from her mouth of all people. She can't believe that she's doing this to herself.
"H-Hold on, Suì, what do you mean that you-?"
Suì-Fēng cuts Yoruichi off. A first, along with the first time she's ever heard her senior stutter, and the first time she's ever seen someone's shattered heart reflected in their eyes. So perhaps she hasn't been kidding? But it is too late now. "I have to go."
Why? What is the matter with her? How can she back out like this? How can she, Suì-Fēng be saying this when what she wants more than anything is to- is to- is to . . . . Her eyes flicker momentarily to her sempai's lips, dark and moist, yet pursed into a straight line, before she frees herself from Yoruichi's tender hold and flees from the already deserted track.
No. There is no 'why.' She knows why. Yoruichi is a tease, only a flirt, and though Suì-Fēng admires her in many more ways than one . . . she can't . . . humiliate herself if Yoruichi isn't being serious with her. It doesn't matter that the bright-eyed goddess already knows how she feels. She just won't . . . engage her any further. She just will . . . keep their relationship as it is. How it's always been- schoolmates, captain and vice captain . . . friends.
But despite this reasoning, her own reasoning, why is her heart so heavy? Why does she feel so drained? This time though, it can't possibly be from the sun's rays, always shining on Yoruichi, since Yoruichi isn't even there when she glances over her shoulder.
"Hey."
Suì-Fēng blinks, once, twice, in astonishment because somehow, with all the days of track practice she's missed, with all of the nights jolting awake with a damp pillow, she's figured that she will be the one who breaks first, the one looking foreign and out of place on her doorstep.
"Hey," she says back, uncertainly, whilst standing in the doorway, avoiding the piercing honey-colored eyes before her.
But they end up staring at each other wordlessly, anyway, gazes raking every inch of one another and Suì-Fēng realizes guiltily how badly she's missed this girl, this girl with mulberry hair, this girl with eyes filled with enough life for the both of them, this girl Yoruichi, who, if you blink, you'll miss.
Suì-Fēng regrets blinking for these entire two weeks.
Yoruichi is the one to break the silence, "Can I . . . come inside?"
"Um, we can stay out here." Suì's surprised with how fast her response is, as well as how unintentionally cold it is.
Something shifts in the older girl's eyes, though it isn't irritation, per say. It's rather . . . resignation. She looks tired. "Alright."
Suì-Fēng steps out onto the porch, into the cool evening air, closing the front door behind her. She assumes that Yoruichi wants to talk, wants something, so she leads her across the porch to the swinging chair, where they both take a seat on either end.
What's with the distance? Suì-Fēng wants to inquire dejectedly, but she knows what it's for. She's brought this upon them both, because so what, if Yoruichi was just flirting around? She should've just enjoyed it while it was happening . . . .
"So, what is it?" She asks instead, nearly mumbling, elbow rested on one armrest, palm to her cheek as she gazes off elsewhere, at the sun rolling behind the trees and the buildings, and the hills.
The sun's not shining on Yoruichi, she realizes almost sadly.
"I dunno," is the older girl's answer, and Suì-Fēng feels something remotely similar to annoyance flare briefly within her, but it is quickly overwritten with longing once her senior adds, "I guess I've just missed you, Suì."
Yoruichi offers her a radiant smile, but it takes Suì-Fēng's all not to cringe too visibly. This smile . . . it's not Yoruichi. It's never occurred to her before, how well Yoruichi can fake a smile, until today, where she notices how good she can tell the difference.
"Where've you been?"
"Sick," Suì-Fēng lies with much difficulty. Will Yoruichi tell if she's a liar, especially since she has actually been at school, just purposefully avoiding track practice and the senior hallway?
If Yoruichi knows it's a lie, she doesn't express it. Instead, she picks idly at a stray thread hanging from her dark leggings. "I've been feeling a little down lately myself . . . ."
Suì-Fēng swallows thickly. What is this? Where's Yoruichi gone? Who died and left this in her place?
"Yoruichi-san . . . ." She runs her tongue over her suddenly dry lips when the older girl turns her way. "Is something wrong?"
But of course something is wrong, something's been wrong since that day . . . that day after school. Yoruichi's been wrong. Suì-Fēng's been wrong. Everything's all wrong.
The silence unnerves her. The only thing that sounds is the creak of the swaying swing.
"I . . ." Suì-Fēng stifles a gasp as Yoruichi's voice cracks, but it's only for a moment and is back to normal the next second, "I dunno, Suì, I just . . . I'm sorry."
Sorry? What does she have to be sorry for? If anything, it's Suì-Fēng who should be apologizing, Suì-Fēng who left her there on the track alone for the stupidest reason, Suì-Fēng who's seen her shattering heart reflected in her eyes.
"Yoruichi-san, don't . . . you don't have to-"
Yoruichi's eyes harden to solid gold. "Are you kidding me, Suì-Fēng?" She whirls in her seat so that her body is facing Suì's, her eyebrows drawn. "I . . . shouldn't have done what I did. I didn't mean to scare you off that day . . . ."
"N-No." Suì-Fēng almost panics. This . . . this isn't entirely . . . she hasn't meant for her senior to interpret it this way . . . . "You didn't scare me . . . it was- it was just . . . me." Her fists close tensely against her knees. "I didn't-"
"Feel the same," Yoruichi finishes stiffly, averting her eyes, and Suì-Fēng flinches because this isn't at all like how she will have finished. She just wants to scream with how bad she's messed up because look how she's underestimated Yoruichi. Look. Look at how she's made this otherwise lively girl. It hasn't been a joke, hasn't been only teasing . . . .
Suì-Fēng shifts closer, tentative. "No, Yoruichi, that's not-"
The older girl holds up a halting hand. The thread on her pants is finally plucked out. "I shouldn't have assumed. I-I thought you did. I'm sorry, Suì-Fēng."
This look on her face . . . . No, this look that isn't on her face. So . . . emotionless. Surrendering. Yoruichi rises to her feet, her back to Suì as she smoothes the creases in her orange windbreaker.
"That's . . . all I have to say, I guess. But I'd like for us to put this behind us and still be friends at least, okay?"
No, no, no, no, this isn't what Suì-Fēng wants. She wants more, more of this girl, more . . . not just this . . . not when Yoruichi really feels the same as she does . . . .
"Okay?" The older girl's voice is light, but even Suì can detect the steel behind it.
"No!" Suì-Fēng blurts urgently, and Yoruichi actually turns to regard her with sad, sad eyes . . . the brightness akin to a dying candle.
"No?" This tone, this voice, it's not her Yoruichi, and Suì-Fēng has to blink, blink even though she's scared that once her eyes open again, Yoruichi will be gone, but . . . but gosh, she's screwed up again. She's messed up again, and Yoruichi has to understand what she does to Suì, how she makes her stammer, and heat up, do things that come out wrong, say things that come out wrong . . . .
"No, t-that's not . . . Yoruichi-san– sama, listen, I . . ." She grinds her teeth as her voice timidly gets quieter, as Yoruichi descends down her porch stairs, as she moves farther and farther away from her, leaving them on bad terms that she never wanted to be in . . . .
"Just wait!" She cries with every ounce of desperation in her, grasping the hood of Yoruichi's jacket just before it slips through her fingers, just before she slips through her fingers, not even caring if she chokes the girl in the process, because she needs to do this . . . they need this.
Yoruichi turns slowly, darker than usual, silhouetted with the setting sun shrouded behind her. "Suì-Fēng?"
This déjà vu . . . .
She moistens her lips before uttering earnestly, "I'm sorry . . . ."
And Suì-Fēng is sick and tired of this somber, melancholy, untrue smile . . . "I don't understand what you-"
. . . so she stands on tiptoe and locks her lips with the dark-skinned beauty before her.
And Suì-Fēng likes the way her senior doesn't hesitate, doesn't falter, doesn't stiffen even once at the contact. As soon as their lips meet, they melt into each other, Suì's arms unconsciously finding their way around Yoruichi's neck, whose hands have already slithered down to rest on her hips, hugging her close, and- and oh, this exhilaration, this sensation, this . . . this love.
This love, this warmth that she only seeks from Yoruichi, this warmth that only Yoruichi can give her. This warmth of which she's never been exposed to before, this warmth filling her body with ecstasy, bliss, euphoria, heaven . . . gosh, it's heaven, Yoruichi is her heaven.
Yoruichi is her heaven, her expert fingers running along Suì-Fēng's sides, down her spine, up her back, and it's . . . it's disappointing when they part to breathe, because really, what's breath? What's breathing to her . . .
. . . when it's Yoruichi keeping her alive with her smoldering tiger eyes full of affection, with her burning caress, with her mere existence, and Suì-Fēng's never realized how head-over-heels she is for this girl until the moment their lips touch and sparks fly. This is what she needs.
Because she doesn't breathe oxygen, she breathes Yoruichigen.
She isn't lesbian, she's Yoru-sexual.
She's not her own, she's Yoruichi's.
Her eyes are opening for the first time. It's not a petty crush. It's more, much, much more. It's something absolutely, indisputably-
"Beautiful," Yoruichi murmurs softly against her mouth, forehead to forehead.
Yes. Completely. That.
A/N: And what was supposed to be something light-hearted turned into all this beautiful, angsty drama. LOL. How was it, anyway? Hopefully not OOC? I dunno. Review?
