Conrart, Lord of Weller was a master of silence.
When required, he could supply the most deadly, or the most seductive, or the most beautiful of words.
But often, not due to nature but rather- due to upbringing, he was a silent man.
He learned young that it was best to speak only when most necessary and to save senseless drabble to one's self.
Which was a sincere pity- considering the fact that Wellers, especially Conrart himself, were born with beautiful voices.
Yuuri couldn't help himself- he felt ridiculous but.. He couldn't help but try to make Conrad laugh- or at the very least; keep his godfather endlessly talking. At random times Yuuri had even asked the man to sing for him- trying his very best to hide his teenage blush.
But seriously! Conrad had one of the coolest, most awesome voices he'd ever heard- he absolutely HATED the fact that Conrad seemed to hide his voice- like most of his other talents- from the world.
Yuuri figured that if Conrad had been born on Earth- he'd be a rock star and a billionaire twice over- with his charming features, stunning er.. 'form' ahem, and his awesomely cool voice.
However, because he'd been born here in Shinmakoku... Conrad had to follow in his father's footsteps and become a swordsman- a military man- risking life and limb daily and often keeping that beautiful laugh and voice all to himself.
Yozak must of noticed this as well, because he also went out of his way- goofing off in front of Conrad and dressing up as a woman in order to get a chuckle or a reaction out of the man- or just to get him to speak.
Then, one day, Yuuri realized with horror that- in all the time he'd known Conrad.. (which wasn't very long but.. two years seemed like a lot, okay.) He'd never heard Conrad outright laugh his ass off. He hadn't heard Conrad laugh aloud, free of any care or worry- not ONCE.
That was horrible! Sure he'd heard him chuckle, or even fake a laugh but- Conrad had never really truly relaxed and let himself laugh about something.
This truly bothered the teen, as he presented his problem to Yozak.
"Yozak!"
"Oi, Kiddo, what's up?"
"I have a problem- tell me if you've ever heard Conrad laugh like, a lot- like really laugh out loud at something until he can't breath?"
Yozak gave Yuuri a weird look but smiled. "Yeah, I have- when he was a kid and stuff."
Yuuri paused for a moment, thinking.. "But- how long has it been since he's truly done that- have you seen him laugh recently like that?"
Yozak shook his head, a strained smile on his face. "Sorry Kiddo, he hasn't really laughed like that for a good number of years as far as I can tell.. I don't think I've seen taicho loosen up since the war.. but he does seem to chuckle around you though." he winked.
"Y-yeah but.." Yuuri looked away, fighting his blush. "I haven't seen him laugh openly either.."
"Hey, I know- you should tell him a really lame pun your majesty."
"Eh?" Yuuri raised an eyebrow at that- what could Yozak mean by that?
"Well, you've heard his so called 'jokes' the captain has a really awful sense of humor- in fact, his humor is down right boring.. why not try telling him a joke that he thinks is funny- like a pun?"
Yuuri thought about it for a second.. yeah.. Conrad did tell some really shitty puns sometimes. But really- no one could laugh like that from something so incredibly lame- right?
Maybe Yozak was right? Maybe Conrad didn't laugh because his sense of humor was off, and he hadn't met someone with an equally.. poor sense of humor- enough to make him laugh?
"Hmm.. Thanks, Yozak!" Yuuri ran off then, his mind was turning- it was time to get to work! Making puns. Yuuri just prayed it would be painless.
"Do you know what happens to chemists when they die?" Yuuri was reciting puns to himself in private.
"They barium... yeeesh."
AUUGGHHH! It was no use! Conrad would never laugh at such shitty jokes! These puns were enough to make anyone cry! Yuuri rubbed his tired, teary eyes, trying to soothe his poor broken ears.
Besides, he didn't know Shinmakoku well enough to make puns in this language- only his own.. so Conrad would also have to get the Earth reference which was a 50/50 chance.
"They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O." Yuuri cringed.
"When you get a bladder infection urine trouble." Yuuri groaned.
"A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. 'Four bucks,' says the bartender. 'Put it on my bill.' says the duck." Yuuri sobbed.
"Your Majesty? Are you alright?" OH NO- Conrad! Yuuri quickly hid his notes and tried to look like he was NOT in pain. "I-I'm alright! Come in!"
Conrad entered the king's chambers, crossing the room gracefully. "I heard you crying.." his face was serious, yet sad. "Yuuri-" he knelt next to his king, and took Yuuri's hands in his.
"Please do not hide your sadness from me, tell me, what is weighing on your heart?"
Yuuri's heart swelled- Conrad truly was.. too kind. He was always there for him, no matter what.
But... Had he actually cried outloud!? Yuuri thought only he could hear his suffering.
"C-Conrad.." AHEM! It was now or never.. "D-do you know how Moses makes his tea..?" Yuuri cringed.. he should have chose a less Earth-centered one..
"Moses..?" Conrad looked thoughtful and confused for a moment..
"H-Hebrews it.." Yuuri muttered.
Silence.
It happened slowly- the look in Conrad's eyes turned from confusion to recognition- then to mirth as Conrad began to chuckle, as he put a hand over his mouth to hide the sounds. "Y-Yuuri.. what.. aha.."
"Conrad don't!" Yuuri took Conrad's hands away from his face, holding them to his chest. "I-I want to hear you laugh- t-that's all.."
"Ahaha!" Conrad slipped out, "Y-Yuuri- Was that a reference from The Bible on Earth..?" he had a silliest grin on his face and it warmed Yuuri to the core. He nodded.
"Hebrews it." Conrad repeated shaking his head, shoulders trembling with suppressed laughter. "That's so- awful." he snickered, smiling at Yuuri. "Where did you learn that one? I loved it."
"I have a few more-" Yuuri sat closer to Conrad, getting ready- fueled by Conrad's reaction so far.
"I'm reading a book about anti-gravity."
"Yes?"
"I just can't put it down."
"Yuuri! Aha, come now-" Yuuri firmly held Conrad's hands to his chest so the man couldn't cover his mouth with them.
"Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.. You know- like Indian Reservations.. that's an American one."
Conrad tore his hands away from Yuuri to cover his mouth.
"I tried to catch some fog, but I mist." Yuuri pulled his hands back, tucking them under his own arms.
"Ahaha! Yuuri! My hands-" Conrad knelt back, turning his face to the floor so Yuuri couldn't see his flushed features, as he tried to reel himself in.
"Broken pencils are pointless." Yuuri said each pun with a completely straight face- which to Conrad, made them much more hilarious.
Watching Conrad laugh was infectious, and before long Yuuri begin laughing too.
Finally, Yuuri had reached his goal, and Conrad was doubled over, his upper body supported by the bed and his knees folded beneath him as he hid his face and laughed- openly- although a bit muffled.
And to Yuuri- it was the greatest gift ever, Conrad's laughter.. in fact, the best thing that ever happened to him in this life- was meeting this man, and holding him so close to his heart.
The only problem.. was that in order to hear Conrad's beautiful unfiltered laughter.. he had to suffer the most pitiful, cringe-worthy puns known to man.
Yuuri decided, it was worth it.
