Kisame berated himself as he sat staring at Itachi. Itachi, the beautiful boy, the fragile fighter, his one reason to live. Itachi, who he had forced to have sex with him on the rough forest floor. Itachi, who was covered in gross bruises. Itachi, who had bled and ripped and broken. Itachi, who couldn't have said no.

Kisame, who wanted to kill himself.

How could he tell himself that he loved this perfect being when he had only hurt him? When Itachi fell asleep- a few minutes after he was done- Kisame had redressed him in his boxers, and had cleaned him. There was more blood than he thought was possible.

Itachi hadn't stirred, but Kisame knew what he had to do.

"NN-hmm..." Itachi sighed as he woke. His eyes looked unfocused when he finally opened them, sitting up. Halfway there, he hissed and nearly fell backwards. Kisame caught him and layed him down gently.

For a moment, Itachi seemed confused. Why was he hurting? What had happened? Then recognition sprung into life on his impeccable face, and he angrily (afraid) pushed Kisame away from him. He pulled the covers up over himself, tucking it beneath his chin in an attempt to keep his assaulter behind that barrier.

"Get away from me." He growled lowly, glaring at Kisame through the Sharingan. Kisame only smiled wanly.

"I know. I'm going." He got up, picked up the Samehada, and turned his back on the younger. "By the way, there's water on the other side of your bed, along with some painkillers. You should take them." He looked over his shoulder and said with the saddest smile, "I'll never bother you again."

~~~!~~~~~~#~~~$~~~%~~~^~~~&~~~*~~~(~~~)~~~-~~~+~~~=

Itachi glowered at nothing in particular, thinking about what happened and trying desperately to ignore the nagging feeling he had. The pain he could deal with. The knowledge that he had been raped was an entirely different story.

What had Kisame meant when he left? The thought suddenly intruded into Itachi's thoughts unwelcomed. He couldn't just leave the Akatsuki-- Leader would kill him. Itachi tried to push these thoughts away, but they were stubborn.

What did it matter to him? Did he feel something for his partner after all? Itachi searched deep inside himself to find the answer, reluctant to do so but knowing he had to. Yes. He did. He loved the man that had raped him.

For a moment he hated himself for it, but then came to terms with it. The heart couldn't be persuaded. That didn't answer his previous question, though. The only way Kisame would be able to leave forever was to die-- and then it hit him.

There was a cliff about 1/4 of a mile away. Where it ended, the sea began. The water that you would drop into was rocky. There was no way you would survive the rugged turf if you fell.

Or if you jumped.

Kisame was planning to kill himself. The phrase echoed in Itachi's head. Kisame was planning to kill himself. Kisame was planning to kill himself! He couldn't let that happen. He suddenly understood what it would mean to live without his partner. A world of pain was in for him if he tried to save him, but he didn't even think about that. He just got up, ignoring the shooting pain, and ran.

"Kisame!" He cried, tears developing in his eyes from the pain. He stumbled, but quickly re-found his rhythm and continued on. Something warm slid down the inside of his leg. He was tearing the muscles that Kisame had healed so soon before. The scabs that had formed were crackling into oblivion.

The pain was intense. How could anything be worse than this? But he knew that something was. Living without Kisame. A choked sob came from his open mouth. What if he was too late? His feet, usually so steady, fast and quiet, seemed far too slow and loud. How would these uneven steps take him any closer to the object of his desire?

But he continued on. Through the foliage he saw Kisame, too close to the edge. "Kisame!!" The blue man showed no signs of having heard him. "KISAME!!!!"

Then he was over the edge. A sudden burst of adrenaline pushed Itachi forward, lunging partway over the edge himself to grab his love's hand. He lurched before stopping. Kisame whipped his head up to see what was happening. As Itachi made eye contact, he felt how totally right this was. How could he doubt it?

"Itachi, what are you doing?! Let me GO!" Kisame cried. Itachi shook his head, his flaming tears falling onto Kisame.

"No..." He whispered. "I-I.. I need you here... with me..." His eyes were so full of pain, of longing, that Kisame was taken aback. And was he... crying? Kisame heaved himself up onto the ledge, pushing Itachi back from the dangerous drop. Itachi literally threw himself at Kisame, so glad just that he was there.

Wrapping his arms around Kisame's neck, sadness overwhelmed him. What if he had never gotten this? What if he had never known? What if he hadn't made it in time to save his love?

He sobbed into Kisame's chest, for everything that had gone wrong in his life, for all of the pain he was feeling, for the pain he had yet to feel, for the blood leaking from him right now. He realized then; he couldn't do this alone. He got it. For the first time in his life, he wanted someone to hold him.

Kisame wrapped his arms around him, fulfilling his wish. He rubbed his hand along his love's back. Itachi knew that he could see the blood, but for a moment it didn't matter to him. Kisame whispered lightly, "What did you do to yourself...? Why would you do this?"

Itachi didn't think that needed an answer.