Narrator: It is a calm day for the cats....
Firestar: -wakes up- Who's there?!?
Narrator: Firestar wakes up with a start...
Firestar: -freaked out- Spottedleaf...is that you? Am I on my ninth life?
Narrator: Silly Firestar. I am a boy. How can I be Spottedleaf?
Firestar: Didn't you hear mysterious cat? Spottedleaf got a sex change a few months ago...wait...or was that Sandstorm?
Narrator: That was Sandstorm.
Firestar: Oh yeah, thats why I dumped the she-tom for Cinderheart.
Narrator: Don't you mean Cinderpelt?
Firestar: Nope, Cinderheart.
Narrator: O_o Lets go see how Jayfeather is holding up.
Firestar: Good Night mysterious cat! -falls back asleep-
Jayfeather: -snoring-
Narrator: Jeez. I didn't think Jayfeather snored.
Jayfeather: -half-awake- I can see you know! -eyes totally closed-
Narrator: -shifty eyes- No you can't. You're blind!
Jayfeather: Freeze in the Dark Forest Lionblaze! -falls back asleep-
Narrator: Okay...
Crowfeather: -walks in sleepwalking- Oh, Oh yeah Leafpool, that's how I like it baby, yeah. Yeah.
Narrator: wtf?
Crowfeather: stop resisting Feathertail, it doesn't matter if we are a foursome.
Narrator: O_O
Crowfeather: YEAH! Nightcloud! You know I like it like that babe!
Narrator: O_O -speechless-
Crowfeather: I need a new cat. Sheesh. I mean, I got three beautiful babes, but it's like, totally uneven.
Narrator: …....
Crowfeather: -sleepwalks back to Windclan-
Narrator: O_O lets go see Daisy...
Daisy: Ugh. -curls in fur- What do you want?
Narrator: N-nothing. Why are you still awake?
Daisy: Because mysterious cat- at night I can look at the stars and realize how messed up my life is.
Narrator: How so?
Daisy: When I was young, my dad attacked me often...
Narrator: How horrible!
Daisy: Yeah. To put the past behind me, I got catnip from the cat behind the horses stables, had a one-night stand with some weird cat named Smoky, and had his kits.
Narrator: omfg. I feel so bad for you.
Daisy: I know. Then, I had kits with a new guy, and the guy I actually like doesn't even like me. I'm sending this message to you all out there young she-cats, don't have catnip- it will ruin your life.
Narrator: -sniffling- I gots to go now...
Daisy: Okay. You want to have kits with me?
Narrator: O_O no. I don't like you...
Daisy: Ah.
Narrator: -turns to audience- I didn't say I was a cat. Alright, let's go see another clan.
TO RIVERCLAN! -makes rainbow and is transported to Riverclan-
Mistyfoot: -sleeping with a jar of pickles-
Narrator: Um...
Mistyfoot: -drooling- I love you. No, I loves you more. Teehee. You are so funny. -snore-
Narrator: Okay...I am leaving now. Let's go see Willowshine. 8D
Willowshine: -dead asleep-
Narrator: Willowshine? -pokes with stick-
Willowshine: -soft whistle-
Narrator: O_O Who whistles in their sleep? Poor Mothwing! She probably never gets sleep!
-stares at sleeping Mothwing- I wonder how she does it...
Mothwing: -totally has cotton stuffed in ears- I AM SUPER AWESOME MOTHWING! I COME TO ATTACK YOU! HI-YAAAHHHHH!!
Narrator: And who in the hell dreams of being a karate master?
Anyway. To WINDCLAN! -waves rainbow and teleported to Windclan-
Onestar: Damnnnnnnnn Ashfoot. That is BIG
Ashfoot: -giggle- Well yours is huge.
Narrator: O_O
Onestar: Give me some juice!
Ashfoot: Alright. -crashing noise-
Onestar: AHHH! MY BALLS!
Narrator: O_O -checks inside-
Onestar: -holding up inflatable beach ball-
Ashfoot: -mopping up grape juice-
Narrator: Phew.
Ashfoot: -holds the big rabbits- Where should we put these?
Narrator: -walks out- Alright. Lets see Breezepelt.
Breezepelt: -no noise-
Narrator: OMG IS HE DEAD! -pokes frantically with stick-
Breezepelt: -pats it away softly with paw, still dead asleep, doesn't move or make noise-
Narrator: Oh. Well at least he doesn't snore.
Nightcloud: -LOUD SNORE-
Narrator: I'm out. TO SHADOWCLAN! -waves hand to raincloud, transported to Shadowclan-
Tawnypelt: -trying to stay awake on guard duty- must...defend...clan. -falls asleep-
Blackstar: HIT ME! HIT ME!
Littlecloud: I'm folding.
Russetfur: I got an ace.
Blackstar: -grumbles and hands frog over-
Russetfur: Man, I am kicking yo' butts.
Narrator: Alright. -turns to audience- Am I done, or should I got visit Skyclan and the Tribe of Rushing Water?
…That's right! I'm going! 8D
Stoneteller: Damnit! WHY WON'T THE TRIBE OF ENDLESSING HUNTING TALK TO ME?!? -eyetwitch-
Night of No Stars: Honey, just calm down.
Stoneteller: You calm down. -huffs-
Narrator: ...TO SKYCLAN!
Leafstar: Actually, we're not exactly sleeping right now.
Narrator: Why not?
Leafstar: Cause we are about to go to war.
Narrator: ...good luck then.
That's all the time we have! GOODBYE! -waves-
Demyx: -wakes up with start-
Zexion: Whats wrong Demyx?
Demyx: I had the craziest dream...that I was talking with cats...
Zexion: No more pizza at one in the morning for you.
