I Loved You First
A KevLaur Fanfiction
AN: This is dedicated to everyone in KevLaur Nation! If it wasn't for all of you, and of course the magic of Jon and Genie, I would have probably stopped watching this disrespectful show long ago. Many parts of this story came from discussions along the way and I thank all of you for inspiring me to keep writing for this amazing couple. Keep the noise up! We need to fight the good fight! This story is somewhere between T and M so I marked it M just to be safe.
Since the blinds were drawn darkness still permeated the room except for just a sliver of sunlight that found its way to cast a shadow on the bed. Kevin had stirred a few minutes before and lay watching his beautiful fiancé still sleeping while crooked in the corner of his right arm. Slowly he reached his hand to trace her face and leaned down to place a soft kiss on her temple. Carefully, Kevin moved to extricate himself from his embrace around her with the least possible disturbance as he didn't want to wake her. They had been home from the lodge in the Hudson River Valley for two days but had still managed to keep the real world at bay, having only seen Lulu and Rocco for brunch on Sunday. Today marked the second week of their engagement and he was actually ready to share the good news with everyone. Kevin couldn't believe his exceptional fortune to be loved by such an amazing woman as Laura.
She was so beautiful and as he leaned down to tuck the covers back around her he found himself murmuring the words of one of his favorite love poems by Rosetti.
"I loved you first: but afterwards your love Outsoaring mine, sang such a loftier song."
"Kevin, what time is it? Is it morning or night? Heck, I don't even know what day it is at this point. This has been wonderful to spend so much time together over the last few weeks."
Kevin had started to leave their bed and head to the bathroom but came back when he heard Laura's voice.
"I'm sorry I woke you."
A kiss that was hesitant at first turned deeper and he found himself pulled back onto the bed, Laura playfully pulling him back under the covers. They had migrated in the night to one small portion of their king sized bed and he felt the coolness of the smooth, barren sheets under his back as Laura moved on top of him. Even now, with her hair tangled in his fingers and her lips swollen from all his kisses, she was a feast for his senses. She smelled soft and gentle and he buried his face in the crook of her neck while she trailed her nails down his body. Kevin was just about to object as he knew where her hands were headed and he didn't want to start anything that time would not permit them to finish.
"Hold that thought!" Laura exclaimed abruptly and pushed off his chest as she left their bed to head to the bathroom herself. She was completely naked except for the sparkling diamond ring on her left finger and Kevin marveled how it managed to catch the one beam of sunlight and illuminate the entire room. He reached for his robe and moved to the kitchen to start some coffee and see what he could make for breakfast.
"You were not where I left you," Laura announced as she came up behind him in their kitchen and wrapped her arms around him.
Kevin turned around and placed a chaste kiss on her lips tasting her mouthwash and feeling the softness of her flannel robe under his fingers. He would give anything to take her back to their bed but they both had responsibilities to attend to today. Laura, a Board Meeting at the hospital; and he, not only his clients, but sorting out the cryptic mess of Andre's sudden departure.
"The real world awaits, Dr. Collins." Laura moved to help him in the kitchen, yet another thing he loved about her and the rhythm of their life together. She loved to cook and they matched each other perfectly as they set about making breakfast for the day ahead.
"What else is on your schedule today, Laura?" Kevin asked as he moved to set the table.
"After the Hospital Board meeting I promised to have lunch at Kelly's with Lulu. She wants to start talking about the wedding. I honestly think she is more excited than we are."
"Don't bet on that. I'm pretty excited, soon-to-be Mrs. Collins."
"Pretty sure of yourself that I'm willing to change my name, Dr. Collins." Laura's retort was still playful and Kevin smiled as he filled little bowls with fruit for both of them.
"I still need to try to understand what Lulu was telling us at brunch about the two Jasons. Did you understand her, Kevin?"
Kevin shared that he was just as confused as Lulu and Laura and couldn't understand how someone who looked like the real Jason was back in Port Charles again after being away for so many years. And while Jason, the man they all had believed was Jason, shared some resemblance to Jason from long ago, they looked to be more brothers than twins, much less identical twins. No amount of reconstructive surgery could change him that much. And even if they were identical twins, raised separately from a very young age, Kevin wondered if anyone would think to consult with him since he did know a thing or two on the subject.
"For the record," Laura stated as she lifted perfectly scrambled eggs on to both their plates, "I think I was the one to fall in love with you first."
Kevin realized that Laura had heard his poem when he thought she was still sleeping.
"Oh really? So when exactly did you realize you were attracted to me and was hoping our friendship would become something more?"
"Attracted? Our second meeting at the Metro Court…in the evening. When you had deciphered Helena's code and Heartbreak Hotel reminded you of your loneliness and hurt when Lucy had cheated on you. You looked so handsome that day. Your hair was shorter than it is now," Laura paused as she moved gracefully near him and ran her fingers through his tousled hair. "When you told me you had sworn off relationships forever."
"Well, I was obviously mistaken about that plan for my life."
Kevin's reply and hesitation as he looked deep in Laura's eyes caused them both to stop their breakfast preparations and take some more time kissing and touching as they re-lived memories of how they came to be together. First, as friends, then lovers, and now a plan to be husband and wife. While Kevin did need to get to the hospital he was finding it hard to separate from Laura and the increased closeness they had found in each other over the last two weeks. All the activities at the lodge had been amazing from hiking in the woods and catching the final colors of autumn, to making love in front of the fireplace, to lazy afternoons in the hot tub together and a couple's massage in their suite with wine tasting afterwards.
He had surprised Laura with the mountain top get-away and managed to combine all of the elements she had mentioned when she told him she wanted a real proposal. And as handsome as he looked in his tux and tails she couldn't wait to be truly alone with him. As the last strains of music ended on their first dance as an engaged couple, Laura was the one to suggest moving their party from the rented out dining room to the privacy of their suite, encouraging Kevin to have some food sent up to their room for later.
"Okay, you told me about the first moment you realized you were attracted to me but you didn't tell me when you first had hoped we might become more than friends."
Kevin's voice brought Laura out of her reverie and reminded her that they needed to keep moving as they both had to get ready for the day. Laura hesitated and Kevin could see her thoughts go back in time as they both re-played the beats of their relationship over the last 19 months.
"After you held me in the park, when I was able to explain to you not only about Nikolas but how he had saved Lulu and eventually forgave me. Then, I had to deal with losing him all over again. You listened without judgement and reminded me to let others, starting with you, support me. It was as if you were giving me permission to forgive myself for my immature decision to leave him and save myself all those years ago. Kevin, I wanted to kiss you so badly that day but I was scared that I would chase you away and I couldn't stand it if I had lost your friendship."
"Well, if it is any consolation, I wanted to kiss you too."
They allowed that declaration to settle around them as they went about finishing breakfast together in silence.
"Okay, now it is your turn," Laura prompted as Kevin took a bite of his toast.
"My turn for what?" Kevin questioned back.
"When were you attracted to me and when did you want us to be more than friends?"
Laura reached for Kevin's right hand at the table and playfully stroked his upturned palm before interlocking their fingers. Kevin set down his fork and placed a grape from his plate on Laura's lips, while never breaking his gaze from her beautiful eyes.
"1995." Kevin waited a moment as he watched Laura try to process his comment.
"See, that is why I chose to recite that poem to you. I noticed you first. I mean that was 21 years before you even noticed me."
"Kevin, I'm asking a serious question."
"And I'm providing you a serious answer, Laura. I remember thinking all those years ago how beautiful Laura Spencer was and how lucky Luke Spencer was to be your husband. He didn't deserve you. Granted, my view was jaded by Lucy's antics with Luke and that obnoxious bet she had made with Damian Smith."
Kevin hesitated and finally broke eye contact with Laura and took the remaining bites of his breakfast before washing it down with another sip of coffee. As he stood up to clear their dishes, Laura could sense a change in his demeanor as these past memories likely brought up thoughts of both Ryan and his failed relationship with Lucy.
"The thing is Laura, I think you are even more beautiful now than you were all those years ago. And I am still astounded that this amazing, beautiful, compassionate, caring woman is in love with me and has agreed to marry me. I love you."
For the third time that morning they found themselves in each other's arms, kissing and touching and looking into each other's eyes. Now it really was time to get going for the day and Kevin asked if Laura wanted to shower first or if they should risk taking a shower together.
"We have no time for that, Dr. Collins!" Laura's exclamation surprised him and he decided to keep their playful banter going.
"Why not? We can save on the water bill too. After all, we both have to get ready for the day."
"Oh no you don't, Dr. Collins. I know what you are up to. You have an ulterior motive."
"And what would that be, Laura?" Kevin barely had the words out before he was reaching for her again and planted a playful kiss at the end of her nose as he let the ends of the tie on her robe slide through his fingers.
Laura took his face in her hands, lightly running her fingernails through the silver stubble before planting a simple kiss on his lips.
"Neither one of us have time this morning for what I intend to do to you in said shower. Besides, Kevin, I'm still feeling the effects or our time together at the lodge, celebrating our engagement."
Suddenly, Kevin's expression turned serious as he watched Laura grimace in pain as she rubbed at her stomach.
"What's wrong? Are you in pain?"
"Just some cramps, Kevin. It is okay, really. Probably from too many orgasms." Laura purred her response in Kevin's ear as she moved from where they were standing to the sink to rinse off their breakfast dishes.
"I didn't realize that there could ever be too many." Kevin responded with a mixture of teasing and genuine concern.
"Well, when you reach a certain age like I am…and don't say it Kevin…I know you are about to tell me that I'm not too old for anything. But now that you mention it, I do think we should have a discussion about sex for a minute."
"Laura, we are not having sex, we have been making love. Well, except for that first night in Paris after Spencer had started school when you asked me to fu…"
"Shhhh! Stop that!" Laura admonished Kevin and swatted him with the drying towel for good measure as well.
"Our love making has been an expression of our love and commitment to each other. 'For one is both and both are one in love.'"
"Another poem, Kevin?"
"No, the same one. I loved you first: but afterwards your love by Christina Rosetti. It really is beautiful and one of my favorites."
"Kevin, as I was saying before you distracted me with your recitation of love poems, I was thinking that maybe we should wait to have sex…I mean make love again until after we are married. You know, to make it special. To make it something we anticipate."
Kevin looked puzzled and Laura couldn't tell from his expression if he was speechless, upset, or in disbelief. He took the towel from Laura and finished drying the dishes and moved to put them away before he responded to her further.
"Oh, Laura did I forget to mention to you that we are getting married this afternoon at 2:00 p.m. at the Justice of the Peace. Just a quiet ceremony for the two of us. I'm sure that Lulu won't mind being our witness."
"Kevin."
"I have it on good authority that a simple wedding like that can still be very romantic. After all, you said it yourself; you certainly don't need another lavish wedding with all of Port Charles at the Mayor's mansion."
"Dr. Collins, you can be very funny but I am being serious. Just think of the longing and the teasing that we can do to each other. And then, imagine how amazing it will be when we are married and make love for the first time as husband and wife. It will be like our first time together all over."
"Well, I do have some very good memories of our first time. And some not so good memories of the morning after as well. Look, I'm just teasing you Laura. If you think we should wait, we will wait. As I said before, you are worth the wait. But we do need to decide on a date for our wedding. We talked about it some last week at the lodge but never reached any final decision."
Laura reached for Kevin and gave him a big hug and then pulled back to look in to his dark eyes.
"Thank you for understanding, Kevin. And thank you for the most romantic and special proposal. I love being with you. I can't wait to be Mrs. Collins."
And now, for the fourth time since waking up in each other's arms, Kevin and Laura took just a moment to kiss and touch and move with each other in their kitchen before pulling apart.
"Hold that thought, Kevin. I'm going to take a shower but I'm hoping that when we both get home tonight we can talk more about our wedding plans and maybe even narrow down a possible date. Oh, and Kevin, will you recite the entire poem to me tonight before we go to sleep?"
"That sounds like a wonderful plan. Oh, and you forgot to ask me when I knew, or at least hoped that we could maybe be more than friends."
Laura had been so stunned by his admission of finding her attractive so many years ago when they shared the same circle of friends in Port Charles but didn't really know each other that she had forgotten to ask him the second part of their discussion.
"So, Kevin, are you going to tell me now?"
"Well, as I told you before, you woke me up from the minute we met at the Metro Court that morning for breakfast. Dr. K and some woman from the cryptographer's chat room named Laura. After a long day of work, I finally had a chance that evening to sit down with Scott Baldwin's law book and start piecing together the code from the words and letters Helena had circled. And that started me thinking about you being married to Scott…and Luke. And just for a minute, I allowed myself to think what it might be like to be in a relationship with you."
THE END
Here is the link to this beautiful poem in case you want to imagine Kevin reciting it to Laura.
poems/50507/i-loved-you-first-but-afterwards-your-love
