A/n to those of you coming back to this story, I condensed three chapters into one, because as a reader I always appreciate longer chapters. To those of you who are new, welcome. Thanks for checking out my story.


Lily Evans couldn't believe the nerve of her previous best friend, Severus Snape - threatening to sleep outside the Gryffindor common room unless she came to speak with him. She owed him absolutely no favours, but she went anyways, compelled by her morbid desire to see his suffering. She hadn't been disappointed - he had practically begged for her forgiveness. She felt a pit of frustration, but also satisfaction coiling in her stomach as she shut the portrait hole in his face and turned back into the common room. James Potter was standing, watching her re-enter, Lily's good friend, Mary Macdonald at his side.

"Alright, Evans?" he asked, his face genuinely concerned. "Need me to punch a certain slimy git in the face?" Lily, a burst of anger controlling her movements, stalked over to James, standing closer than she had ever dared get to him before.

"When have I ever asked - or needed you to defend me, Potter?" she said in a low, biting voice, egged on by the rage from Severus' betrayal. "Don't go pretending you're all high and mighty when you curse people while they're down - and no, I'm not defending him." James opened his mouth to say something.

"Lily, I'm -"

"No, you have no right to apologize. In fact, I don't want to hear you talking to me again." She said, not looking at his crestfallen face as she ran up to her dormitory. She briefly heard him say "what the hell" to Mary as the door fell shut behind her.

Lily threw herself onto her bed, seething. She wasn't surprised that the fifth year girls dormitory was empty. After a well deserved break after writing their Defense Against the Dark Arts OWL that afternoon, most of the fifth years were in the common room cramming for the Transfiguration OWL the next day. Instead of studying, Lily was thinking angrily upon her day that had previously gone so well, and how quickly it had gone to hell. Lily had been down at the lake with her friends Mary, Penelope Turpin, a fifth year Ravenclaw, and Lucinda Talkalot, a fifth year Slytherin, and Mary's long time best friend, following the DADA OWL, when Lily had noticed James Potter and Sirius Black picking on her friend, Severus. She'd gone over to defend him only for him to call her mudblood, which is a derogatory term for someone whose parents are muggles. While their friendship had been tense for months, this was the breaking point for Lily, and she promised herself to put an end to it.

Severus had been the one to introduce her to the wizarding world as a child, and she'd never forget that. She also wouldn't forget how good a friend he'd been to her for the first few years. He'd always chosen her over his Slytherin friends. More recently, however, he had taken to spending more and more time with his friends - friends who were surely on the road to becoming Death Eaters, if they weren't already. When he decided he had enough time for her, he'd ask to meet up in strange places.

Lily pretended not to notice - pretended it didn't hurt - but she knew that he was hiding their friendship. She hated his friends for turning him evil, she hated James Potter for pushing him farther away, she hated Severus for being so easily corrupted… and she hated herself for not trying harder to keep him. He was her best friend, but she couldn't ignore his behaviour.

"Hey Lily?" Lily turned to see Mary peeking her head in.

"Hey Mary," Lily said, sighing heavily. "What's up?" she asked as Mary came and sat at the foot of Lily's bed.

"What happened out there? And why weren't you at dinner?"

"I couldn't face it. You know this place is a gossip hell hole. I'm sure everyone knows by now, and I just couldn't stand the thought of all the Slytherin's laughing at me. And I couldn't stand Potter and his bloody cronies constantly offering to beat Sev up - with the exception that I go out with Potter, naturally. I mean, who does he think he is? He has no right to ask to fight my battles for me. He's such an -"

"Lily, you know he only says that because he cares about you right?"

"He doesn't even know me! He hasn't once tried to just get to know me without harassing me. He bullied my best friend in front of me for years and then asked me out I mean who the bloody hell thinks that's a good fucking -"

"Lily please, he's a really good guy. He does care about you. He really likes you and he just doesn't know how to approach those feeling yet."

"Yeah sure, whatever," Lily said, not really wanting to talk about Potter any longer. "Point being, Sev came up and he practically begged for my forgiveness."

"What did you say?" Mary asked, intrigued.

"I told him to bloody well sod off." Lily scoffed

"Don't worry about it, Lils. That whole bunch are all tossers."

"I know Mary. I really should have called it all off when he laughed about what his friends did to you. He thought it was funny! I mean, that's just sadistic."

"I agree. There must be something seriously wrong in their heads, I could have been permanently damaged if I hadn't been taken to aunt Poppy. And god, I wish Dumbledore hadn't come in, 'cause she was literally getting ready to go hex them into oblivion," Mary said, laughing. Lily smiled at her friend, grateful for the distraction.

"Thanks, Mary," Lily said, not saying what she was grateful for, but Mary gave her an understanding smile.

"Any time." Suddenly they were interrupted by the door swinging open and their other dorm mates, Marlene Mckinnon and Dorcas Meadowes came in. They both paused as though making sure they weren't interrupting anything.

"Is it ok if we-" Marlene asked, gesturing towards their beds.

"Of course, of course," Lily said putting a smile on her face. Once the two girls were behind them, Lily rolled her eyes at Mary, who stifled laughter. The weren't too fond of their dorm mates, whom they found to be stuck up. Lily mimed smearing lipstick all over her face, in imitation of Dorcas, who was rarely seen without red lipstick. Mary curled her hair around her finger, and adjusted her breasts with the other, miming a flirtatious giggle. The pair broke into peals of laughter, drawing curious looks from the other girls.

"Anyways," Mary said once they'd finished their giggle fit. "You should come visit this summer. Lucy's coming, and I think Nell might drop by if she can between trips."

"God, please take me now. I'm not exactly eager to see Petunia after the way we left it over break."

"Don't lie to yourself Lils, more like since first year," Mary said, rolling her eyes.

"Yeah, that's fair," Lily said. "We should probably follow their example and get to bed though," she said, gesturing to their dorm mates, who were brushing their teeth already.

"True, we've got a busy day tomorrow."

"Love you, Mary," Lily said, pulling her friend into a hug.

"You too, Lils."


"Hey, Evans," Lily turned to see James Potter jogging to catch up with her on the crowded train station after disembarking the Hogwart's express. "Can I have a word?"

"If you were really asking, you'd give me the option" she said, huffing. "What do you want?"

"I just wanted to say that if I offended you the other night -"

"Why would you have offended me?" Lily asked, eyes narrowed.

"Well you were just particularly snappy and - "

"When have I ever been nice to you, Potter?" Lily snarled.

"Ok, look I just came to apologize, maybe I shouldn't have -"

"I thought I told you not to talk to me anymore," Lily said impatiently.

"Yeah, I just thought that if I'd done something wrong maybe I could fix -"

"You can't fix my problems, Potter," Lily interrupted again. "Except maybe by letting me leave. Hope you have an excellent summer," Lily said spitefully before walking towards her mum, not looking behind to see James' crestfallen face.

Hey mum," Lily said in a cheery voice, giving her a kiss on the cheek. "Where's Tuney?" she asked, stomach clenching uncomfortably.

"I decided it might be best if she stayed home, dear," Lily's mother said slowly. Lily nodded her understanding, but felt a lump rising in her throat.

"Right, let's go," she turned away from her mother - and her peers - quickly before they could see the tears welling in her eyes.


Lily glanced at her watch again. Only half past ten. She couldn't pretend to be asleep much longer, but she really didn't want to go out and face her family; particularly her older sister. She rolled over in her bedsheets and stared out her window for the third time that morning, and then looked back to her bookshelf. There was nothing there she wanted to read. She had spent the first two weeks of summer vacation doing absolutely nothing. She rarely left her room, and spent a lot of her time waiting for any of her friends to write to her, as she didn't have an owl. Her mum had tried several times to get her to talk, tell her about her year, anything, but Lily had held her tongue. She hated how quiet her mum was now; hated the husk that was left following her father's death. He had passed away of lung cancer over Christmas vacation. This was her first summer without her dad, and she knew they wouldn't be going anywhere fun without him, that there would be no more breakfast in bed, or family card nights, and that also meant that Petunia had free range to do anything she wanted. Try as she may, their mother could never tell Petunia what to do quite like their father.

Lily's train of thought was broken by a knock at the door.

"What?" She called.

"Door's for you," came the terse reply of her older sister. Lily threw her sheets off and marched downstairs, still in her pyjamas, only to find Severus Snape outside her door.

"Lily, thank god you came, I thought once Petunia told you who was here you wouldn't-"

"You really think Petunia told me it was you? If I'd've known I'd never've -"

"Lily, please, I really need you. My parents have gotten so much worse and I can't handle the constant yelling. I just need to get out of the house, please," Severus said, sounding desperate.

"Sev, you can get out of the house without me," Lily said, trying to shut the door.

"Of course you don't understand," Severus sneered.

"I think you should leave," Lily said, voice ice cold.

"I'm not going anywhere unless you come with me," Severus said, grabbing her arm.

"My father is dead, unless you've forgotten," Lily said, pulling her arm out of his grasp. "And my sister hates me. But you're right, I don't get it at all, so maybe you should find someone who does," Lily said, shutting the door in his face.

"What did the freak want?" Petunia asked lazily. Lily's eyes narrowed.

"What are you wearing?" She asked, eyes zeroing in on their dad's favourite shirt that was now splattered in paint from Petunia's stupid hobby.

"A smock," Petunia said haughtily, adding some white to her painting.

"That was dad's," Lily said accusingly.

"It's not like he's using it."

"Are you serious?" Lily shrieked. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Wrong with me, what's wrong with you," Petunia said defensively, standing up as Lily approached.

"Take it off," Lily said.

"I'm not going to -"

"Take it off!" Lily screamed, grabbing a fistful of the shirt and yanking as hard as she could.

"Get off me," Petunia yelled, attempting to kick Lily away from her.

"You disrespectful bitch," Lily yelled as Petunia grabbed a handful of Lily's hair. Lily shrieked and let go of the shirt, but quickly grabbed a tube of paint and smeared it over Petunia's painting, which she now realized - although too late - was a portrait of their father.

"I was going to give it to mum as a surprise," Petunia wailed, tears flowing freely down her face. Lily's heart sank. The painting had been really good until she'd smeared bright blue paint all over it.

"Tuney, I'm sorry, I didn't -"

"Save it," Petunia said, voice hardened. "And you call me a disrespectful bitch." Petunia grabbed her painting and stalked off. Lily followed her quietly to the bathroom where she heard furious scrubbing and angry tears.

"Tuney, can I help you?" Lily asked tentatively, a pit of guilt and dread in her stomach.

"Yeah, you can get the fuck out of my life."


Lily had never been more relieved to see Mary's owl at her window, and jumped on the invitation to her house, leaving the very next day.

"Lucy isn't allowed to come," Mary said upon throwing Lily's bag in the guest room.

"What, why?" Lily asked, disappointed.

"Her mum doesn't want her associating with blood traitors," Mary scoffed.

"Oh god, you don't think they're with You-Know-Who, do you?" Lily asked, worried for their friend.

"I don't know, Lils," Mary said anxiously. "But you know how her mum is. Lucy's only written once this whole time."

"What, kind of like with you and me?" Lily asked teasingly.

"It's different, Lily, she's my best friend." Lily pretended that didn't sting as she went on.

"That's fair. What's for dinner?" She asked, changing the topic.

"Pasta, I think," Mary said, sniffing the air. "Want to go down now?"


Lily awoke fairly late the next morning, checking her watch as she slipped out of bed. She trudged down in all her pyjama clad, messy haired glory, only to see Mary and her mother, dressed rather nicely sitting at the table having tea with a woman with chocolate brown hair and a kind face, and one James Potter. Lily froze and tried to leave unnoticed, but the woman who she assumed to be James' mom made eye contact with her. Grudgingly, Lily approached the table. James' eyes widened and he looked at the table smiling. Lily tried her hardest not to glare at him as she offered her hand to his mother.

"Hello, my name is Lily," she said, feeling herself flush as the woman smiled warmly.

"Ah, Lily, yes," she said, looking her up and down. "I've heard plenty about you, of course. I'm James' mother."

"Nice to meet you Mrs. Potter," Lily said politely, dropping her hand.

"Please, call me Euphemia," she smiled. "I hear you're quite talented at potions." She continued. "You'd get along well with my husband - always fiddling around and making weird smells…" she laughed.

"Right, well, er, I'm going to go, ah, freshen up." Lily said, flushing even more at her inability to form a proper sentence.

"Go ahead, Lily dear," Mary's mother said, smiling. Lily ran up the stairs to the first landing where the guest room was, and was about to enter her room when she heard someone call her name.

"Lily," James panted, running after her up the stairs. "Wait!"

"Yes, Potter," Lily replied, turning to face him.

"I just wanted to say that I didn't know you - well, I didn't know you'd be here, it's just that mum comes round here every Wednesday and I go with her and honestly if I'd've known you'd be here I'd've stayed behind. I really didn't want to intrude and I'm sorry, I know that you said not to talk to you anymore and I know I'm doing just that now, but yeah, I'm sorry," James trailed off lamely.

Lily wasn't sure if she was in a good mood because she was with her friend, or away from her sister, or because she was still so embarrassed from showing up in her pjs in the middle of tea with James' mom, but she heard herself say something completely foreign to herself.

"It's ok, Potter."

"Really?" James asked, the corner of his lips turning up.

"Yeah," Lily replied, fighting the urge to laugh at James' facial expression. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm just going to…" Lily said, gesturing towards her room.

"Of course," James said, his cheeks tinging pink. "I'm just gonna…" James said, already walking downstairs.

"Huh," Lily said to herself once James had left.


Over the course of that summer, Lily spent more time at Mary's house than her own. Petunia was still angry about the painting, and their mother had been working twice as much since their father died, so she wasn't around a lot. At Mary's house, however, Mary's parents were home fairly often. Mary's mother, Dorothy, or 'Dot', as she preferred, ran a research lab. They were trying to find a cure for dragon pox. She now had so many scientists on her team that she wasn't always needed around, so she popped in periodically throughout the day. Her dad, Roy ran a bakery in town. He worked the morning shift every day, and was home in time to make them a late lunch and then take them to the beach, out for ice cream, or for a bike ride.

Another thing that Lily had begun to enjoy was the weekly, or sometimes bi-weekly teas with James and his mom, of which she had attended upwards of ten. Euphemia was a charismatic older woman who'd been friends with Dot since she'd moved in next door. The women were both pregnant at the time, and bonded over the troubles of pregnancy. As such, Mary and James had all but grown up together. In the presence of his mother, James was a good deal more polite and thoughtful. Lily had even begun to look forward to his presence.

"James, dear, it's nearly five o'clock," Euphemia said to her son, setting down her empty tea cup. "I think we'd best get going."

"Actually, mum," James said, shoving the last of his jam scone in his mouth. "I was thinking Lily and Mary might want to come over for a bit," He asked, putting an angelic smile on his face. Lily and Mary rolled their eyes at each other, while Lily gave an unladylike snort of mirth.

"If that's ok with you, Dot, I'm fine with it," Euphemia said.

"As long as you girls are back for supper," Dot replied, smiling.

"Thank you," James said, planting a sticky kiss on the two mother's cheeks. They then walked next door to the Potter residence, where they were greeted by what looked eerily like a very aged James.

"You must be Lily," he said. "My name is Fleamont."

"Pleasure to meet you," Lily said, shaking his hand.

"Ok, dad, we're just going to go upstairs," James said, all but shooing the girls up the stairs. Mary took the lead, and led the group to James' room. His room was fairly spacious and the walls were covered in an assortment of posters, many were Quidditch posters. "Mind if I stick some music on?" James asked. The girls both assented, and James went over to an old looking gramophone by his bed. Seconds later, the music started. "This is a muggle band called -"

"The Beatles!" Lily said excitedly.

"You know them?" James asked, smiling.

"Know them? I love them!" Lily gushed.

"No way, me too!" James said "God I wish they hadn't broken up, what I wouldn't give to see them play live…" James said wistfully.

"Oh god tell me about it, I'd commit murder!" Lily exclaimed. She then looked to where Mary was standing, confused. "Sorry, Mary. It's just a very popular muggle band."

"Right," Mary said, still looking a bit confused.

"Rubber Soul?" Lily asks. James' eyes brightened.

"Naturally," he laughed, starting to dance.

I've just seen a face

I can't forget the time or place

Where we just meet

She's just the girl for me

And I want all the world to see

We've met, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm

Lily laughed as James twirled her under his arm, and she sang along breathlessly. Lily grabbed Mary's arm and pulled her up to dance for the last thirty seconds of the song before the next song played. Due to its slow nature, the three sat down, and James sang and Lily tried to pick out the harmony unsuccessfully, bursting into giggles every time she messed up.

The next song, Lily and James got up to dance again, Lily singing the oo la la la's, revelling at how good the pair sounded singing together. Mary had never been quite the singer, so she sat on James' bed, making goofy "dancing" gestures with her arms and laughing good naturedly.

Lily let out a breathless chuckle as the final song on the album finished.

"Well, it's time for supper, Lily," Mary said once James and Lily's breathing rate had returned to normal.

"Ok," Lily panted. "Thanks James, see you around." Lily hadn't noticed her slip up, but James sure had, smiling after her and falling back onto his bed.


After dinner that night, Lily had returned home once again, going straight to her room. Her mother wasn't home yet, and it didn't seem like Petunia was there either. She put Rubber Soul on in her room and laid on her bed, thinking incredulously on her day. She remembered James twirling her all around his room, and his childlike laughter, and his voice singing perfectly along to the songs she loved so much. She felt her stomach do a little flip and sat straight up in her bed.

'No way, Lily, pull yourself together," Lily thought to herself, eyes wide. She told herself furiously that he was only being nice because there was no one around to bully. She had a hard time falling asleep that night. She was just about to drift off when she heard a tap at her window. It was an owl - and not one of Mary's either. Intrigued, she reached for the letter and pet the owl, who rubbed against her hand affectionately.

Evans,

I'm glad you could make it today, I had a lot of fun. Next Wednesday, after tea, Remus, Peter, and Sirius are coming over and we're going to go to the beach. Maybe you can come to tea, and come along with us - with Mary of course.

James

P.s. Which Beatles album is your favourite?

Lily shook her head incredulously, but penned a hasty reply.

Potter,

I'll be there.

Lily.

P.s. How am I supposed to pick just one. They're all genious, although I've always been fond of Rubber Soul. Do you have a favourite?

She attached the letter to the owl's leg and watched it fly off into the night, a warm feeling in her stomach. She had just as hard of a time falling asleep after the letter, although for a completely different reason.

Evans,

I look forward to it. Don't forget a swimsuit and muggle money. And a towel. I honestly am a big fan of Meet the Beatles!. I'm a sucker for their old stuff. I want to hold your hand is a particular favourite of mine. Now something that isn't Beatles related - what's your favourite colour?

James


The following Wednesday, Lily put her swimsuit on underneath a light floral dress, and tried to settle her stomach as she set off for Mary's. When she arrived, they were already at the table, and Lily avoided James' eyes as she sat down. She had spent the past few days exchanging frequent letters with James. She now knew his favourite colour was dark red, his favourite animal was a hippogriff - and no, he hadn't met one yet, his favourite Beatle was John, and his favourite breakfast food was scrambled eggs with fresh tomatoes. She wasn't quite sure how to deal with this information, or how to treat their newly civil relationship, so she stayed quiet. Once she had settled in her seat and greeted everyone, she met James' eyes and gave him a small smile. He gave her a toothy one in return.

"So what are your plans for today, James?" Euphemia asked him.

"Lily, Mary, the lads, and I are going to the beach after tea."

"Sounds like fun! Why don't you stop for ice cream on the way," Dorothy asked.

"We just might," James said. "I know Remus would love that idea." Euphemia laughed, nodding her head.

"That boy could eat his way through a candy store - and he's still so skinny," Euphemia added.

"Tell Roy that the biscuits were amazing," James said as they were leaving.

"Oh James, you lovely boy," Dot said, giving him an affectionate pat on the cheek. "I'll pass the compliment to the chef." They said their goodbyes and walked over to James' house.

"When'll the boys be here?" Euphemia asked James.

"Any time, mum," James said before turning to the girls. "I'm going to go put my swim trunks on. Do either of you need to change?" Both girls shook their heads and James went off.

"Why don't you girls come sit," Euphemia said, leading them to the sitting room where Fleamont was sitting, reading the prophet. Lily took a seat next to Mary on the chesterfield, and jumped as the fireplace lit up in green flames. Despite using floo powder to get to and from Mary's house often, she still hadn't quite gotten used to people just appearing out of the fire.

"Remus, dear, you look peaky, we've got some of Mr. Macdonald's fresh biscuits, would you like some?" Euphemia asked, brushing soot off of Remus' shirt.

"No thank you, Mrs. Potter, I just ate," Remus said. "Lily, Mary, I didn't know you'd be here," Remus said, catching sight of the girls perched on the sofa.

"Oh, James didn't tell you," Mary asked.

"I might've just missed the memo," Remus said as James came back in wearing swim trunks and a t-shirt. He went over and gave Remus a hug.

"How's it hangin', Moony," James asked.

"I'm fine, James, how're you," Remus asked, patting James on the back.

"If you'll excuse us," Euphemia said helping her husband to his feet and pulling him out of the room. "Come along dear."

"Bye mum, bye dad," James called after them, although his voice was drowned out by Peter Pettigrew stepping out of the suddenly roaring flames.

"I didn't know they'd be here," Peter said, eyeing the girls warily. Lily began to feel increasingly awkward, and shot a grimace at her friend.

"Well, they are," James said, throwing an apologetic look over his shoulder at the girls. They ended up having to wait another fifteen minutes for Sirius to show up, looking dishevelled.

"Sorry, my parents didn't want me to - what're they doing here?"

"They're here to come to the beach with us," James said wearily.

"Why? Since when have you even been on speaking terms with -"

"Since now," James said with an air of finality. "Shall we go?"

"Good idea," Lily said loudly, getting to her feet quickly. She was quite ready to get out into the sun and out of this awkward situation. Luckily, James and Mary lived only about a twenty minute walk from the closest beach. When they got there, Lily quickly stripped herself down to her swimsuit, which was a good deal more modest than Mary's, who often drew stares, even while fully clothed. Lily turned her back to the group to look at the water.

"Looks nice, doesn't it," James said, joining her.

"I can't wait to get in," Lily agreed.

"What're you waiting for then," James asked, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "Last one in is a flobberworm," he yelled, getting a head start, Lily close behind. She revelled in the feeling of the sand beneath her feet and dove in when the water was up to her knees, giving her an advantage over everyone else, who waded in. Mary was eventually the last, wincing as the cold water hit her sun-warmed skin.

"I beat you," Lily teased, splashing a bit of water at James.

"Well, yeah, but you didn't tell me you were a bloody dolphin. You had an unfair advantage."

"I'm not a dolphin, I'm just not afraid of the cold," Lily said, emphasizing her point by diving under the water, showing up several feet away. They spent the afternoon like that, splashing and swimming, and when the sun began to set, they ran up the beach to their towels.

"Shit, I forgot mine," Lily said, dripping wet.

"Can't believe you forgot it even after I reminded you," James said, brandishing his own.

"No way, you need that," Lily said.

"Fine, we'll share," James said, wrapping his arms around her, and the towel around them both. Lily could feel his stomach against her back and shivered, but she stayed put in his arms.


Lily spent the night at Mary's, and as they sat on Mary's bed Lily's thoughts spewed out of her head.

"I think I might like James," Lily said suddenly, startling Mary with the topic change.

"I guess I saw that coming, but really, you spent such a long time telling him to fuck off, why the change of heart?" Mary asked carefully.

"I don't know, because I like who he is outside of school and I like his taste in music, and I think it's so cute that he goes to tea with his mother once a week, and he's pretty cute and oh god, Mary, I'm so screwed." Lily buried her face in Mary's pillow in shame.

"No, no, that's fair," Mary said.

"But Mary, I don't know if you've noticed, but he hasn't asked me out all summer," Lily said. "Not even once."

"So?"

"What if he doesn't like me anymore?" Lily whispered.

"I can find out for you," Mary said, a smirk rising to her face.

"Oh, Mary, could you?"

"Easily, darling," Mary said dramatically.