The characters you recognize belong to Janet Evanovich. I am only borrowing them for my own evil purposes. A few characters in the later chapters you won't recognize. They are all my fault.

The World Turned Upside Down

by SueB

Chapter 1

I was in the kitchen dropping a well balanced meal of grapes and Cheerios into Rex's cup, being a good hamster mommy, minding my own business, when I heard it. 


POOF!

Crapity, crap, crap. The sure sound of an uninvited visitor. An uninvited and unwanted visitor. Diesel.

Now don't misunderstand me, Diesel's a fine guy and all that and he's definitely hot -- in a six foot plus, sandy hair, pony tailed, killer smile, hard body, day old beard, grungy sort of way.

Thing was, I couldn't handle a third hot man in my life, I already had two.

Or did I?

There was Joe Morelli, a Trenton cop with the best ass in town and my sometime boyfriend, but he had left for an undercover job shortly after our last fight about how I didn't want to settle down, cook his dinners, do his laundry and have his babies.

And, there was Ranger, the dark mysterious bad ass bounty hunter/security expert/contract government agent who had been my mentor since day one in bond enforcement. Ranger was sex walking.......and standing.......and sitting......and lying down........and, well, you get the picture. That his behavior towards me was not always strictly business frequently had my hormones in an uproar but Ranger made it clear that while he was more than willing to take me to bed, he was less than willing to make any kind of commitment.

But, Ranger was always there and he repeatedly saved my bacon. He lent me his cars even though I destroyed them on a regular basis and he sent his men to back me up although they often returned to him broken. Then there was the fact that he'd killed for me and once he'd almost died. It's hard not to love a guy like that. I was pretty sure I did, but in spite of the fact that Joe was out of the picture, Ranger wasn't making any moves.

Still, I didn't want to deal with Diesel. Did I tell you he isn't normal? He calls himself 'human -- sort of.' That's supposed to be a recommendation? From what I can gather, Diesel travels around via the aforementioned 'POOF' saving the cosmos from intergalactic bad guys called 'Unmentionables.' See? Not normal. Not normal at all. I really didn't want to deal with Diesel.

What I wanted was to concentrate on Ranger. He didn't want a commitment, okay, I was willing to start with Ranger induced orgasms and see where it went from there.

I turned my attention back to the problem at hand. "Don't you ever knock?" I was cranky.

Diesel threw me the killer smile accompanied by a mischievous twinkle in his eye.

"Sweet Thing, surely you've noticed, no one ever knocks here. They either tumble the locks or kick the shit out of the door. My way's more efficient and doesn't require a carpenter."

"What do you want?"

"Why do I have to want something? Maybe I came just to see you. I've missed you. I thought you might have missed me too." Arms wide, he moved in for a hug.

I sidestepped and slid away. "That thought is way too scary to even consider."

He had the nerve to chuckle. "Boy, somebody got up on the wrong side of the bed." He checked his watch. "It's early -- especially for you. Why are you up anyway?"

Slowly, carefully, like he thought I might bolt, he reached out to run the back of one warm finger across my cheek. "You look tired. Like you could use another couple of hours." His face lit up with an idea. "We could have a little nap."

Oh great! Amorous Diesel. "No! No nap!" I smacked his hand away. "Are you saying I have bags under my eyes?"

"Just sayin' I'm warm and cozy. You could try me out."

"It's July," I yelled, "I don't need warm and cozy. I need air conditioning. And stay out of my bed!"

"Jeezz. You are really not a morning person. Tell me again why you're already up."

"I didn't tell you the first time, but if you must know it's because I'm going for a run with Ranger. He'll be here any minute."

"Ah," Diesel replied, "that explains it."

"Explains what?" I wanted to know.

"That bitchin' outfit," he responded.

I looked down. I was wearing a pair of black spandex shorts coupled with a sports bra and covered over with one of Ranger's T-shirts. The T-shirt was a little large -- maybe more than a little. Diesel, with the hands again, hooked a finger in the neckline and tugged so the shirt ended up hanging off my shoulder.

"Stop that!"

"What?" Diesel was all wide eyes with innocence. "The savior of Western Civilization wouldn't like me messing with his shirt? Hasn't located his sense of humor yet either I bet."

"Ranger's not your favorite person?"

"He and I don't hang out together."

"Yeah, he says the same thing about you.* He also says you give him a migraine** and Ranger's not a headache kind of guy. I don't get it. What is it with you two? You both chase mega bad guys. I'd think you'd have a lot in common."

Diesel took a step back and folded his arms across the considerable span of his chest. With one long lazy sweep he ran sultry brown eyes up from my feet all the way to the shoulder he had just bared.

I yanked my T-shirt back into place. My face flushed hot. "Cut it out!"

With the slightest smile and his eyes now fixed on mine Diesel said in a husky voice, "Ranger and I have a jurisdictional dispute."

Oh boy.

There was familiar tingle at the back of my neck as I heard the locks tumble.

TBC

*Plum Lucky.

**Plum Spooky