It was always like this, he surmised. Who was he kidding? A guy like him, a girl like her. Wouldn't work. Couldn't work. And didn't.
He couldn't even be selfish and throw a tantrum about it. He couldn't even whine "But you were the one who pursued me relentlessly! I didn't even like you but I still went along with it, and just when I fell for you hard, how can you throw me away!" Nor could he demand a better explanation that the ridiculous one she proffered because it just didn't make sense. It would just be, well, undignified. More so, coming from a guy.
All he could do was shrug his shoulders, say "Fine," and pretend that he was going to move on with his life. He was not going to beg her not to leave him, or anything of the sort.
He was not going to bitch about her on numerous blog entries. Not when she had the address.
He was not going to cry nights endlessly for three months.
He was not going to kick himself for having been so stupid to let his guard down.
He was just going to pretend that she never existed.
-
Life was awkward.
Especially if you had to see your ex around campus.
Still, An figured she had done a pretty good job. Or rather, he was doing a pretty good job, given that he was in a rather obscure department and seemed to have stopped socializing with all their mutual friends. She supposed it was for the best. Nothing better than a clean break, right?
But there was still that slight pang when they ran into each other and he stared straight through her, like she didn't exist. Well, not that she could blame him really. She had been a right jerk. Even she would admit it.
And anyway, soon, it was going to be the end, they would soon go their separate ways and never need to see each other again. Maybe that was why computers crash and die, she randomly thought. They just wanted to permanently delete some stuff from their hard drives. That really made a lot of sense now that she contemplated it.
Who the hell were those dudes he was hanging out with anyway? She'd never seen them before in her life, and given how she knew most people, it was rather an affront to her.
Still, she counted herself lucky not to have seen him with another girl yet. Then again, not as if he would date anyone. He would never ask. She was the one who asked him.
Sometimes she wondered if he still thought about her. It wasn't that she was aching to get back together; she knew she had done just what she had to do. It was just something you wondered about your exes.
Oh well. There was no point crying over spilt milk. No other way to go but forward.
-
Convocation.
They were from different departments, so she had no business being there. Still. She wanted to see.
He had done pretty well. As she had figured. Yet another reason why they wouldn't have worked out. She wondered if he knew she was there. She wondered if she cared if he knew.
She wondered if she should try to talk to him, one last time. Closure. Or something like that.
She watched him standing around chatting with a couple of girls. Probably his classmates. Maybe he was interested in one of them. She wished him luck.
-
He wondered why she was there. Her name wasn't on the list of students having their ceremony that day.
Maybe she had a friend to watch. Probably. Social butterfly that she was.
He wondered if she was going to talk to him. He wondered if he should make the first move. After all, he was the one who had started the war of silence. Maybe it was his onus to do so.
Then again, he was feeling pretty good. Opening up old wounds probably wouldn't do him much good. He turned his back resolutely. He was going to enjoy this day. As much as he could without his brother and sister fawning over him, anyway.
When he turned back, she was gone.
A wordless closure, he thought. That was the best.
--end—
A/N: uhhh. I just WANTED TO WRITE SOMETHING. I have JLPT tomorrow. So I was feeling stressed. Yes. And I was listening to MCR's I don't love you. I suppose this is something I wish my ex would have done for me. That is, to tell me to my face that he didn't love me like he did yesterday. Sorry about the graduation stories on the flood. I'm graduating!!!
Also, the other YuutaAn story, I know they're the same year, but yes, I just wanted him to stay back for no good reason. Maybe he was dumb and had to be held back. Hahahaha.
