**Yule Ball One-shot**
AN. Well here we are again. I know we said we'd do act 2 of ROTR but we are currently suffering a slight writer's block on the subject so instead here is our little one-shot on the Yule Ball (The Film version with a major twist). Pokes fun at both Harry and Lucius Malfoy. So without further ado our FIRST one-shot (let us know what you think and if you think we should do another one sometime soon!)
Mucho Amore
Nat and Laura 3
The Gryffindors gathered in a deserted classroom. Murmuring as they entered, they noticed a rather discrete gramophone towering above them as Professor McGonagoll stood in the centre ordering the boys and girls onto different sides of the classroom. Harry raised his eyebrow at this strange behaviour and was filled with his familiar sense of foreboding as he took his seat beside Ron. Finally Professor McGonagoll ended their confusion as she announced in her familiar shrill voice,
"The Yule Ball has been a tradition of the Tri-wizard tournament since it's inception. On Christmas eve night, we and the other schools gather in the great hall for a night of well mannered frivolity. As you know the house of Godric Gryffindor has commanded the respect of the wizarding world for over ten centuries and I will not have you besmirching that name by acting like a babbling, bumbling, band of baboons."
Harry heard the twins sniggering behind him as they challenged each other to say that 5 times as fast resulting in Fred choking slightly and George momentarily losing consciousness due to lack of oxygen.
"I want each and everyone of you to put your best foot forward, and I mean this literally, because the Yule Ball is first and foremost a dance."
Everyone mumbled at this announcement, the boys darkly compared to the excited twitters of the girls. McGonagoll coughed again to regain everyone's attention.
"In every girl there is a secret swan longing to burst forth and take flight…" Ron turned to Harry and mumbled, meaning for only Harry to hear,
"Something's about to burst out of Eloise Midgen but I don't think it's a swan." He stopped as he noticed Professor McGonagoll raising her eyebrows at him before continuing. It had seemed he had got away with it.
"Inside every boy a lordly lion prepared to prance. Mr Weasley, would you join me please?" Apparently he hadn't. Ron got up grudgingly and walked towards McGonagoll and, much to the twins delight, was ordered to put his hand on her waist.
"Where?!" he asked incredulously. Harry, although sorry for Ron's predicament, laughed in spite of himself as the twins wolf-whistled as a waltz burst out of the odd gramophone and Ron waltzed around with the Professor. If ever there was a time for a camera, this was it. He heard a click in the background and had never been so glad for Creevey in his life. He turned to the twins who were supporting themselves on the windowsill,
"You're never gonna let him forget this are you?"
"Never!" they replied grinning evilly until the Professor announced that everyone was to grab a partner and start dancing causing the smile to slide off as quickly as water on Snape's hair. Harry sat there laughing as he watched his classmates put through their paces by overly eager girls and decided not to mention that he had been told to remove the sling two days ago.
It was the night of the Yule Ball, and Harry walking into the dormitory and found a rather amusing sight. Ron was trying on what could only be described as, well, a mouldy set of Aunt Marge's favourite curtains. Deciding to fight against the laughter building in him (as their friendship had only just been repaired) he shut the door behind him.
"Bloody hell!" muttered Ron as he looked himself up and down in the mirror, not noticing his best friend in the corner. "Bloody hell!" After a moment he finally saw Harry, his mouth hit the floor.
"What are those?" he asked angrily, "What are those?!"
"T-they're my dress robes," stuttered Harry alarmed, this was not the reaction he was going for, raising his arms and toothbrush in defence.
"But they're alright!"
Harry mind went blank as he tried to consol his best friend,
"Well, I expect yours are more traditional." This did not go down well.
"TRADITIONAL?! They're ANCIENT! I look like my Great Aunt Tessie." At this Harry was rather glad he had never met Ron's family. "I smell like my Great Aunt Tessie!" Ron murmured gloomily. Yes, definitely glad he'd never met Ron's family. Ron turned again to face the mirror.
"Murder me, Harry."
They made their way down the stairs to the Great Hall to meet their partners, Parvati (sp?) and Padma Patil. Ron was still picking at the moth-eaten lace on his cuffs bitterly. Harry rolled his eyes,
"Leave it alone!" he said, slapping Ron's hand away from the dismal cuffs, in his best impression of Mrs Weasley. It took all his self-restraint to not imitate the howler Ron had received two years ago. He grinned at the memory of Ron's face. As they passed a near-by pillar, Harry could have sworn he saw a flash of blonde hair. Confused he shook it off putting it down to his acute paranoia. He only just noticed that Ron was speaking again,
"- crying her eyes out."
"Who?" he asked, confused.
"Hermione, of course!"
"Why?"
"Because no one asked her. Why else would she not tell us who she was going with?" Ron asked as though this was the most obvious answer in the world.
"Because we'd take the mickey outta her if she did." Harry replied, once again he had thought he saw a flash of black cape slip past him. He turned trying to get a better look but saw nothing. Get a grip, Harry! he told himself as they met up with the Patil twins, both wearing saris of pink and orange. Padma's eyes widened as she took in Ron's appearance.
"W-well don't you look-" she gulped before continuing, "d-dashing." The awkward silence was broken as McGonagoll came bustling up to them. She turned to Harry,
"Potter, are you and Miss Patil ready?" Harry couldn't help but feel he was missing something.
"Ready, professor?" He asked.
"To dance," she said. "Surely I told you that?" Harry's mind had now formed an exclamation mark. He resisted the urge to run as fast as his legs could carry him the hell out of there, instead he settled for a frantic shake of his head.
"Oh, well now you know." McGonagoll adjusted her hat before noticing Ron and the rather gloomy looking Padma beside him. For once words failed the Professor as she fumbled with the lace on his collar.
"As for yourself Mr Weasley, er, you may make your way into the Hall with Miss Patil." She left as Ron dragged his partner towards the double doors. Harry's attention turned towards Cho, who had now entered with that git, Diggory. What did he have that Harry didn't? He had a flashback to the conversation he had had with Hermione the previous night.
*Flashback*
"Hermione? What does Diggory have that I don't have?" Hermione thought for a moment before replying,
"Charm, good looks and dignity."
"Oh." Damn it.
*End flashback*
As the flashback ended Harry merely contented himself by gaping at Cho as she greeted Fleur's partner, Roger Davies.
"She looks beautiful." Harry murmured his agreement before noticing that she was looking the other way. He turned round to see Hermione descending the stairs. As he gazed at her, he thought he saw hands shoving Hermione from behind the pillar and heard sobbing. Something weird was going on…
(End Harry's POV)
"Slightly Hermione's POV but mainly Lucius' POV)
Hermione was freaking out, what was she going to wear?! She flicked through the endless tweed skirts and holiday jumpers, her desperation mounting. Then, strangely, she heard a chuckle from behind her. She whirled around to see Lucius Malfoy standing in the girl's dormitory directly in front of her.
"B-But how…?"
"How did I get up here when supposedly only girls can? Well it's a good question and I think it's a story you can live without hearing." Hermione strongly doubted this.
"Anyway," Lucius continued, "It looks like you need an outfit and I'm here to help." And, coincidently, at that moment a light appeared above Lucius' head. She raised an eyebrow.
"Too much?"
"Yeah." He waved his wand and the light went out.
"Right, Miss Granger down to business. Show me what I've got to work with." Wondering why on earth Lucius Malfoy, supposed Death Eater, was helping her, Hermione Granger, class know-it-all and muggleborn, pick an outfit. She started pulling out the skirts and jumpers, showing them to Lucius who then burned them all apart for one green snake-skin cat suit. Why this was in her wardrobe she didn't know. As Lucius looked at it in wonder, Parvati emerged from the bathroom wearing a towel. She took one look at the burning skirts and cat suit admiring Death Eater before screaming loudly and disappearing back into said bathroom and scraping the bolt shut. Noticing the glint in Lucius' eyes, Hermione hastily grabbed the cat suit and threw it onto the small bonfire. She watched as the suit sizzled and melted in a matter of seconds.
"Wow," said Lucius, "that is one seriously dangerous suit. Ok, now that the obvious option is gone, it seems I'll just have to make a dress." And with that said he withdrew a carpetbag from beneath his cloak and removed a foldaway table, sowing machine and design board. He looked up into Hermione's bemused expression and grinned,
"What? Are you honestly surprised?"
She had to admit, he had a point and he continued to draw a floatly pink number with a v-neck line. Hermione watched as he started to work the pink fabric and stood perfectly still as he pulled it over her head. His expression fell as he took in the rather unshapely sight of her expertly pulled off Widow Twanky as portrayed by the actor Christopher Biggins.
"Ok that is not gonna work. Re-Gok!" Ok, he did NOT just mention the gay presenter of Hermione's favourite muggle show, How to Look Good Naked. Lucius paused before asking himself,
"What would Gok do?" Ok it's official, Death Eater's idolise gay stylists. Lucius clicked his fingers with excitement and frantically cinched and altered the dress and added layers of pink and purple gauze. When he was finished he turned her to face the mirror, his eyes brimming with tears of happiness as she looked at the perfectly fitting and flattering pink number she was now working. She blushed and mumbled her thanks.
"No problem, Miss Granger. Now promise me one thing, you're not gonna wear it with THOSE shoes are you?!"
"Well, er, yes."
"NO! NO! They will never do! Try these!" and he held out a pair of pretty purple shoes with killer heels. She decided not to ask why he had them in her size or at all for that matter.
"Now for my favourite part!" he announced while whipping out a hairdryer and make-up box. "Make over!"
Finally after an hour in a wooden chair and Lucius' strange form of conversation about how much he hated the colour combinations of most quidditch robes ("The number of them that clash! Oh my god, you would not believe!") and several bottles Sleekeazy's Hair potion later, she was finally on her way to the ball with Lucius escorting her in a way that he hoped was discrete but infact rather confused that majority of witnessing students. He told her to stay behind the pillar as he checked to see if there were only a few people in the Entrance Hall. Unfortunately it was still rather crowded and, so as not to spoil the surprise, he told her to wait for his signal. Even through the hordes of students he still wasn't discrete enough and could have sworn that Potter saw a bit of his blonde hair as he hid behind a nearby pillar. Luckily Potter shook it off as it must have muddled his small brain. Lucius chuckled at his success. He waited for the hall to almost empty as McGonagoll ushered the groups of students through the double doors. This was his chance, but extreme discretion was called for as that pea brain Potter was still there. Deciding it was now or never, he got up on tip-toe and waved little red flags at Hermione, who had stuck out her head to see him waving frantically but withdrew back again. Furious that she had missed his amazing signal, he tore back up the stairs the corner of his cloak flashing past potter and his partner who was rather alarmed but before she said anything he mimed being in a towel and embarrassed Parvati blushed and remained quiet. Giving her the thumbs up he quickly turned behind the pillar and shoved Hermione out,
"GO!" She stumbled and Parvati had managed to turn potter round and, with glee, Lucius noticed Potter's mouth fall open in surprise which added to his natural retarded look. However he had forgotten that his handed were still outstretched and even Potter, the Idiot Boy Wonder, had noticed. Still not even this could dampen the sense of pride he felt inside and couldn't restrain the sobs that emerged too quickly for him to stop.
"DAD!?" He whirled round and saw his son looking at him in horror as he clung to his date for support.
"Son, I can explain everything!" he said desperately trying to block Draco's view of Granger but it was too late. Draco's mouth fell open into a perfect 'o' as he watched Granger meet Krum who kissed her hand unable to take his eyes off her. Draco turned back to his father.
"You promised you wouldn't do it again! Especially after last time! DO I EVEN HAVE TO REMIND YOU WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT POOR GIRL!!!" Lucius blushed and shook his head as he stared at the ground ashamed. "I hope for Granger's sake you managed to keep the heels to a low." When his father remained silent Draco's face fell, "Oh no…"
"I couldn't help it , they were soo pretty." He looked at his son before noticing the high collar he was sporting unattractively. "Oh hell to the no! Son, you look like a vicar." With that he produce red a pair of material scissors and began attacking his son's collar ignoring the indignant protests and swiping hands. Finally he looked at the collar and grinned. His work here was done.
