Here Is Gone

Summary: Sequel to Blood Makes Noise (Must Read That Before This) Charlie's health has declined rapidly, and fears dying a painful death. So when he learns of a chance to get everyone rescued from the island, he jumps at the chance.

A/N: This is dedicated to Debbie_Lostgirl. Without her, I probably never would have gotten around to writing this sequel.


Pain, anger, and more pain. That's what has consumed Charlie Pace's life over the last month. From the day that he talked to Jack, until now, a month later, his health had gone from bad to worse. Pain is almost constantly flowing through his limbs, and he feels as if he might not make it one more day. Though he does, and that's when the anger comes into play. While he just wants to die, to just get all the pain and the hurt over with. He doesn't want to leave Claire and Aaron behind, and alone. He can feel her hand squeezing his and he tries to offer her a smile.

"How are you feeling today?"

This is how they always started their days. He would hide his pain as good as he could, and he would lie to Claire about just how bad it actually was. She didn't need to hear the agony filled screams that he usually had to bite his lip to keep from coming out.

"Not too bad."

She sighed loudly, and he knew that she was on to him. Had he screamed out in his sleep. He usually tried to not sleep, just in-case his pain got very bad when he couldn't control himself from screaming.

"Your lying. Jack said that he could hardly touch you to give you, your checkup. Plus, your lip is bloody. I'm going to guess that's how your not showing that your in pain. Charlie, we need to know how bad it is. Now please, stop lying to me."

"I'm just doing it for you Claire. I refuse to scar you with my pain-filled screaming. I won't do it."

Shaking her head, she stood up. She stretched for a moment before turning, only slightly, toward Charlie. "I'm going to get Jack."

Before he could try to talk her out of it she was gone. He sighed softly, and closed his eyes. Maybe if he pretended to be asleep Jack would leave him alone. In only a few moments of a heartbeat he was sound asleep.


Beginning of Flashback

"Liam! Get the hell up."

His brother's body lay cross-ways on the bed. In the same position that he had passed out in the night before. Drugs and Alcohol really takes it out of a person. Of course last night was worse than most nights. More so for Liam than Charlie though. Liam had gone on a crazy man's bender. Pumping himself full of heroin and hard whiskey. It was a wonder that he was still breathing.

"I said get the hell up. Move your bum ass."

"Shut up. I have a hellish hangover baby brother."

"Well your the one that decided to pound your body full of heroin and whiskey. It's your own damned fault. Now if you don't mind get out of my bed. I'm fucking exhausted."

"I saw you go home with that cute little girl. She had her eye on you all night. How'd it go?"

"Well I just got home—and considering it's" Charlie paused to look at his alarm clock. "10 in the morning, I'd say it went really fucking well. Now move. Either get up, or move your ass."

"Alright. I feel like I'm gonna puke anyways."

"I swear Liam, you get puke anywhere but IN the toilet I'm going to kick your ass."

"Yeah, real scared baby brother."

Liam stumbled out of Charlie's room, as he fell onto his mattress. Within seconds he was asleep.

End of Flashback


"Charlie. Please wake up. Just for a moment."

Charlie opened his eyes only slightly and saw Jack standing over him.

"Alright. I suppose."

Charlie tried to smile but it looked more like a grimace. He tried to sit up, but he couldn't stop the scream that flew from his mouth. He saw tears in Claire's eyes. He felt like a total ass. Putting her through this, it wasn't right.

"Okay, scale of one to ten—how bad is the pain?"

Charlie blinked slightly, he could not believe Jack would ask something so stupid after he screamed bloody murder like that.

"I'm gonna go with a ten."

"Well, I see that your sarcasm is still intact."

Jack offered him a smile, trying to keep the examination as light as possible. He didn't want Charlie to feel uncomfortable. He was already in enough pain, and Jack felt bad enough that he couldn't do anything for his pain.

After a few minutes Jack stopped writing, and looked at Charlie.

"This has progressed much faster than I thought it would. It's quite aggressive. I'm afraid you might not have much time--"

"Jack. Your not telling me something that I didn't already know. Now, will you please grant me my wish. I cannot take this anymore."

"I'm sorry Charlie. I'm a doctor. My job is to keep people alive, not to kill them. I wish I had something to give you for the pain."

"Yeah, me too."

"I'll come back tomorrow to check on you. Just keep hanging on. You don't know, we could get rescued soon."


Three Days Later

"Charlie, wake up!"

Charlie opened his eyes, which in turned rolled back into his head. The pain that filled his body was worse than anything he had ever felt in his life.


Beginning of Flashback

"I am sorry baby brother."

Liam looked up at Charlie from his hospital bed. His eyes were filled with tears, and though he was in such agony, he was apologizing. Liam had found out he was HIV Positive a year ago. Six months later Charlie found out he too was HIV Positive. Charlie hadn't thought that the disease would come on so quickly and suddenly. The doctors had given Liam only a month or two left to live. He had lost so much weight that you could see bones that were not meant to be seen through skin alone.

"I'm right here Liam. I'm not going anywhere."


A Week Later

Liam had died two days after Charlie's visit. The doctor told Charlie that he had gone as peacefully as possible. That he had died in his sleep, but Charlie didn't believe it was possible to die peacefully being in that much pain.

Charlie held the syergine in his hand, there was enough heroin in it to kill five people. He patted his arm to make sure that his vein was pulled up, before plunging the needle in. He refused to die like Liam did.

End of Flashback


"Charlie, please wake up."

He heard Claire plead. Taking almost all the energy he had, he made his eyelids pop open.

"Charlie, Jack's found us a way to get rescued. If I help you, can you walk outside?"

"Yes."

He knew that it would hurt like nothing he'd ever felt, but he needed to hear this himself. Claire bent over, and pulled his arm around her shoulder before hoisting him up putting most of his weight on herself.

"Nice and easy. Jack said he'd wait on us."

"Oh, lovely. Everyone is waiting on me."

"Now you just ssh."

Walking slowly, they finally made it outside the tent, and the extra ten steps to where Jack and the rest of the camp was standing.

"Okay, so Juliet, Sawyer, Kate, and I saw a boat out in the distance. Juliet has informed me that the others are stopping communication from coming in and out of the island. There is only one way to fix it. We need someone to swim down to a station called the Looking Glass. Once inside, you'll turn off the jamming device. Now, while whoever is doing that, is gone, Juliet, Kate, and myself are going to the radio tower. Once the device is turned off I'll be able to contact the boat, and we'll be rescued."

"You make it sound so easy. Who would even go down to that looking glass place?"

"I will." Charlie stumbled up toward Jack, leaving Claire behind him.

"Charlie, you can hardly walk--"

"I'll go with him."

Everyone turned toward Desmond, who was also making his way toward Jack.

"I don't know—I mean. Can you promise me you'll bring him back—alive?"

"I can promise to do my damnedest."

"I guess I don't really have a choice. Since no one else is just jumping at the chance--"

"You can't!"

"I'm sorry Claire. I have no other choice."

With that, Charlie smiled triumphant at Desmond. He turned slowly and caught Claire in his arms.

"Come back to me. Promise me."

"I'll try Claire."

he wouldn't promise that. Not when he knew that it was a promise that he couldn't—or wouldn't keep. He wouldn't be coming back. This was his final goodbye to Claire.

"I love you Claire—no matter what happens."

"No, don't say that—don't talk like that."

"Promise me, you'll tell Aaron about me. When he's older."

"Of course. But you'll be here, so I won't have to--"

"I love you."

With that he gave her a kiss, before heading off on his suicide mission.