I click through links furiously. "Come on, there's gotta be some new CIA pics in here somewhere. It's been at least three days since I've seen a new one." It's late at night, and I'm browsing DeviantArt looking for some new Nolan images. The Dark Knight Rises ended a few years ago, ending the trilogy, but I'm still a huge fan. I love fanart of any of the the characters, but CIA is by far my favorite guy of the bunch. He always has been, and he always will be. I don't even know why, really. There has always just been something about him.
Unfortunately, a lot of the fandom has died down over the years. Sure, new fan content still surfaces here and there, but not nearly as often as it used to. The worst part is less overall content, means less content of specific big guys. Days can go by without any new CIA pics, and I'm lucky if in a month I can get a single new CIA wallpaper. I don't even want to think about how things are just going to get worse in the future. It's the year 2020, and fanart is already this scarce, what is it going to be like in another ten years? Man, maybe I should learn to draw my own art? Or maybe I can just commission something? I sigh as I realize DeviantArt has no new uploads of the big guy today. "I guess I'll just go through the archives and look for pics I skipped over before." Urgh, this is getting depressing.
I wake up early the next day, and shake the last vestiges of sleep from my head. The nightmare I was having, something about the death of CIA, fades from my mind. It's hard to believe it's been eight years since the movie ended, and I'm still getting bad dreams about that scene. In all honesty, it's a terrible scene. I mean, pretty much everyone in the fandom agrees it was a stupid way to start the movie. But regardless of the reviews, all I know is that scene still gives me honest to god nightmares. I still don't know how they managed to air a scene like that on a Nolan film and not get sued by the hotheads.
At least today should be a good day. See, today is May 1st, and it's my 25th birthday! It occurs to me that I really should clean this place up a bit, as I have friends coming over soon. The party should be fun, my best friend Aiden shares a birthday with me, so every year we host a joint birthday party. I've known Aiden for a really long time. Well, I guess it hasn't been that long, but it sure feels like it.
We met in banking school during a jewing competition some eleven years ago. Back then he was from our school's rival team, and we were competing in the 400 million hedge fund. I met him on the starting line before the accounting, and we just hit it off immediately. We only had about a minute to talk while we got calculators waiting for the accounting to begin, but by the end of it I felt like we were already best friends. The accounting then followed thereafter, it was a hell of a merger and acquisition too. The 400 million was always my best merger, and I was shocked to see Aiden stay neck and neck with me until the very end. I ended up winning by a nose and I still give him crap over his loss, though he always just rolls his eyes and claims I screwed him out of the last 50 thousand.
In any case, Aiden is a great guy, so is his brother Tom. Though Tom is about the same age as Aiden and I, he is mature beyond his years. His maturity probably has something to do with the fact that he runs the family airfield. Tom and Aiden live on this small ranch just outside of town. As I recall, their parents died when they were fairly young; Tom had to grow up pretty quick to take care of both the airstrip and his younger brother.
Anyways, as much as I respect Tom, I sort of wish he wasn't planning on coming to the party today. You see, while Aiden and I like great things, such are scenes about big guys, Tom is the complete opposite. I don't really blame him for being so hotheaded and mature, but it's still a pity. Usually at parties like this, Aiden and I love to watch the plane scene, but if Tom is around we keep the baneposting on the down low due to mutual respect.
The sound of a doorbell brings me out of my thoughts; looks like the guests have arrived.
"Happy Birthday! Hope you got room for all the strippers I brought!" Aiden jokes as he barges into my apartment, both arms carrying a large load of beer and chips.
"Oh crap, you're bringing some strippers too? Dammit, I had already ordered a dozen for the apartment already!" I joke as Aiden drops the bags and gives me a hug that only best friends could share. "It's good to see you Aiden, and a Happy Birthday right back at ya! The big Two-Five!"
"You goyim have been around for a quarter century already, isn't that something?" I look up to see Tom standing in the doorway with a comforting smile on his face. "Happy Birthday, I got you something for the occasion". He hands over a heavy box.
I open it up on the spot; it's a bottle of vodka. I read the label "Ruskyy Standart 25 year aged! Jesus, Tom, how much did you pay for this?"
"Ah, it's nothing. It cost a bit, but I figure it's cheaper in the long run because it's a present to both of you. Saved me the trouble of buying two presents. 25 year aged vodka for your 25th birthdays."
Aiden strode over and is in awe at the bottle. "Holy crap, thanks bro! You know I love the vodka. Let's get some glasses out and pop this bad boy open!"
I'm in the middle of opening the cabinet when I hear a fourth voice speak out from the doorframe. "Ohayogozaimasu!" I turn around and see Karen standing just outside the apartment and looking in through the doorframe.
"Karen, get in here, how long have you been standing there?" Even in all the commotion of Evan and Jack arriving, I certainly didn't forget I also invited Karen. She's a British girl whom I met in Nipland a few years back, and she is perfect, damn you. She's really sweet, the type of girl you just like to be in the company of, in a non sexual way. Things are just better with her around. Jack and Evan have taken a liking to her as well but respect the fact that she is MY waifu. Though, even with all three of us being close with her, no one makes any advances on Karen. I'm not sure if it's because she is just too sweet to think of in that way, or if it's just because us guys didn't wanna make a move on her which would make me angry.
A noise behind me brings me out of my musings. "What were you saying about 'waiting for the perfect time' to drink this?" Aiden asks while waggling the bottle of vodka in his hand.
"Oh, did you know in some communities it's tradition to take a shot of alcohol on the exact anniversary of your birth?" Karen says as she excitedly strides in and hands Aiden a large gift bag before turning to hand me one as well. "Oh and Happy Birthday, by the way. Hope you like what I made!"
Aiden takes the gift bag from her hand but didn't look inside, he is still confused about the drink. "Hold on, Karen, this is the exact anniversary of our birth. You know, a birthday."
Tom cuts him off, "I think she means the exact time. You know, Aiden, like you were born at what, 5:37pm I think? It lists it on your birth certificate, you know. So I guess you're supposed to take a shot at that exact time? Though, I can't say I approve using top shelf vodka for shots..."
Aiden pops the cap off the bottle "Oh be quiet. It's already paid for, I say we use the vodka. And actually, that's convenient, it's 5:30 right now. We should get ready for this."
I sit for a second, trying to remember my own birthday time. I remember I actually looked it up awhile ago and used to have it memorized... "Oh yeah, I remember my time! Wait, damn, that's lame, my birth-time was something like 11:30pm. Urgh, you guys are going to be back home by then. Oh well, let's all just have a drink to celebrate Aiden's time."
Aiden starts to pick stuff off the table to make room, only to realize he is already holding something in his hand: the gift bag Karen handed to him when she arrived. Aiden starts to open it as he talks more about the vodka, "Yeah, that sounds good, big guys. Any excuse to drink more is a good rule in my book. Let's just get some glasses, and then we cAN OH MY GOD I DON'T GET TO BRING FRIENDS!"
I spin around to see Aiden holding a handmade plushie of Dr. Pavel, his long time favorite guy. Karen stands off to the side, beaming at what is obviously something she used her vast wealth to acquire. I have to hand it to her, that plushie is pretty damn big. I'm actually kind of jealous. Wait. Wait a second, she gave me a present bag too, didn't she? Does that mean what I think it means? I leap over a chair and sprint back into the living room, quickly finding the gift bag I had previously set down. I immediately grab it and tear the cover off. My eyes barely have time to register the color of the plushie's hair before I gave out a yell of jubilation "At least you can talk!" I am holding a CIA plushie in my hand, and it's pretty much the best thing I have ever seen.
Aiden laughs as he looks at my present. "Urgh, you just had to get him more CIA merch, didn't you, Karen? Don't encourage him!"
Karen blushes and shrugs her shoulders, but before she could reply she is glomped by both Aiden and I as we fight over space to hug and thank Karen for the presents, which Aiden concedes out of respect. It's a pretty touching moment, but it's cut short by Tom poking his head back into the living room. "Hey guys the shots are poured and—Oh great, more baneposting, sheesh." Silly Tom, he was outnumbered. With Karen here the ratio of absolute patricians to plebs is 3:1.
"Don't be jealous, I can purchase you one for your birthday if you want, Tom! Just tell me your favorite guy," Karen smiles as we make our way to the dining table to do our ceremonial drinks of Aiden's 25th birthday.
"You should make him Smee, being a hired gun and all." I smirk as I put CIA down on the table. God damn, that is one big plushie.
Aiden rolls his eyes. "Oh god, not Smee, don't waste your time making a plushie of Mr. utterly useless gun". He puts Dr. Pavel on his flight plan so hard I start to worry the seams will burst.
Tom remains a hothead through this entire ordeal. "Karen, you're asking me for my favorite guy? Is there a guy that just goes around and crashes all the other guys' planes?"
Karen's smile vanishes instantly, but, surprisingly enough, she keeps the conversation going. "Well, that would be Bane, but I'm not making you one of him".
I feel myself wince at the mention of Bane, and in my periphery I see that Aiden do the same. I always wince when someone mentions Bane. I suppose it's because I feel he ruined the scene. However unsettled I might be by the mention of him, I do have to correct an error here. "Well, come on now. Bane didn't crash the Wreckage Brother, he just... ah, forget it. Tom doesn't care, let's just end this baneposting talk for now"
"Yes, please do," Tom says, still a hothead. He checks his watch. "Alright goyim, let's get ready, it's 5:36"
"Quarter of a century here I come!" Aiden proudly exclaims as he puts Dr. Pavel and stands up, shot glass in hand. The rest of us follow his lead and join him in standing and holding our glasses in the air. Even Karen joins in on this, which surprises me; I usually don't see her drinking hard liquor.
Evan starts a countdown, "Ten! Nine! Eight! Seven!" I look around and take in the scene, these co-birthday parties always give the best memories. "...Four! Three! Two! One! Drink!" Evan yells and I tip my shot glass back.
The watery fluid burns as I knock it back. "Oh wow, strong stuff!" I exclaim as I slam the empty glass down where it was soon met by the glasses of Karen and Tom. "That was... mmm... Russian".
Tom agrees, "Takes out the fire, but leaves in the warmth."
"What did you think of that, Aiden?" I ask. After no reply, I look up at him and immediately become confused. Aiden is just standing there, a full shot glass of vodka still in his hand.
"Uh, Aiden?" Karen says quietly as she joins Tom and I in staring at Aiden. He is just standing stock-still, oblivious to everything around him. His eyes are unfocused, and are just staring past everyone at something beyond the horizon.
Tom reaches out and pokes him on the shoulder. Hard. Aiden twitches and snaps back to attention. He blinks twice and looks around as if he is unsure of what we are doing in the kitchen. His eyes land on me and then he just stops and stares at me for a bit. I want to ask if he feels okay, but then he tilts his head and stares into my eyes. After a few seconds of looking at me, he opens his mouth. "...CIA?"
I feel a slight chill go down my spine. "What? ...What about him?" I ask, confused, "Are you talking about the plushie?" I look around for my birthday present to make sure it is okay. I spot the plushie on the far side of the room, and it seems fine so I turn back to face Aiden. He is still just staring at me with a distant, confused look in his eyes. I am about to ask what he is talking about, but the moment is ruined by Tom laughing.
"You forgot to drink, you big dope!" Tom laughs as he slaps Aiden on the back, immediately breaking the confused look on his face.
"Haha, Aiden, you had one job!" Karen giggles to herself as she pats Aiden on the shoulder.
Aiden looks around in an addled state, and reaches down to rub his arm. "I, um, yeah."
"You okay there, buddy? Never seen you zone out like that, and in the middle of a party no less," I say as I look at him closely. He looks fine now, but I am wondering what the heck he was referring to when he looked at me and called me CIA. That doesn't make any sense, we aren't role playing faggots. Despite my well known obsession with a certain blue-shirted big guy, in all my years I have never heard Aiden call me his name before. I want to brush it off as nothing, but something feels off.
Aiden brings me back to reality by speaking up. "Yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine. I was just lost in thought or something that's all. How long until we can drink these shots?" The three of us raise our eyebrows at Aiden. "Wait... did you guys drink already? What the crap? When did that happen?" We all continue to stare at Aiden. None of us quite sure how to respond to his rhetorical questions. Thankfully, the awkward silence is broken by Aiden shrugging his shoulders and saying, "Whatever, bottoms up!" He downs his drink in one gulp and drops the glass where the others went.
It's getting late and I stuck cleaning the dishes from the party. I yawn and check the clock, noting that Karen went to sleep about two hours ago.
"Alright, I'm headed out, you lads have fun," Tom says as he heads out the door.
Aiden waves back and yells over his shoulder at Tom "See you tomorrow, bro. Don't forget to check on ZS-NVB when you get home. I think her wheel might still be flat, she's been acting really nasty landing for me these past few days." Aiden decided to crash at my place tonight, but Tom couldn't stay. It's a pity, but the fact is they live on a working airfield, and work there starts at 6am. Thankfully it's a small airfield, just a few acres of runway that they rent to the government. Their real pride is their aircraft stock. They have a dozen Embraer EMB 110s that they keep in good order. A healthy aircraft can rent for upwards of one thousand dollars and hour; it's pretty much how they pay their bills. In any case, Evan has to leave to go fuel them for the night.
After a few hours of card games and vodka Aiden and I decide to call it for the night. My friend collapses on my sofa, not even bothering to change clothes first. Well, whatever, not my problem. I don't do his laundry.
I yawn and check the clock, it's only 11pm. I figure I have at least an hour before I'll be going to bed myself, so I might as well browse the internet until then. I make my way to my room and boot up my desktop. I start skimming some baneposting sites and forums to try and find new bane content, and eventually I stumble across a random 'BRAVO NOLAN' thread. I pause for a moment, debating if I should open it. I'm not really a Nolanposter, but I still occasionally open these threads. If nothing else, it's a way to find new content of CIA...
I turn around and made sure my door is locked shut, then proceed to open the thread and scroll through to see what they have. The thread is filled with a bunch of posts from people raving about this new video, and I see them link to an animated flash titled "[AMV] Bane x CIA. Duration: 3:15". I stop and grimace. That sounds like hardcore baneposting, my cup of tea, I should not pass it up and stay in this thread. But, on the other hand, I'm tired as hell. But a new animated video featuring CIA? Gah, maybe I'll just take a peek to see if the animation is any good. My digital watch beeps once to signify it's 11:30, and I press play on the video.
unsheathes katana
"...if you are not with me..."
teleports behind you
"then you are my enemy..."
moves at unbelievable speed
"psssh...nothin personnel...kid..."
Blink. Blink... blink. What am I doing again? I reach down and scratch my thigh. Oh, right, that video, I just started it! I look up at the screen, only to see that the video is over. "Uh, that's odd, video must have bugged out on me." Out of the corner of my eye I see my watch. It's 11:34pm.
Wait, what? My watch just beeped on the bottom of the hour, how is it 11:34? I must have dozed off for a few minutes there. I try to think, did my mind wander, or something? What was I thinking about? Something about... pfft, hell if I know. Whatever, it's getting late. I'll just watch this video and then get to bed.
I restart the video, and wow, it is actually really well animated. I mean, this is practically Nolan quality! Though, as I watch, I notice something odd. Normally when I watch Nolan vids, my eyes are locked on CIA. But right now I'm really distracted by how big Bane looks. I mean, the video just shows them standing there and talking to each other right now, but still, I can't help but notice Bane's size, he's so, what's the word, big? That mask, his voice, those muscles... I'm so jealous of CIA, I wish I was the one standing there talking to a guy as big as Bane...
Suddenly I freeze as realize what I was thinking. I shake my head to clear the thoughts. "Gah! Brain, what the hell?!" I close the video, that Nolanposting thread, and my entire internet browser. Then I shut off my computer and back away from my desk. "Urgh, I feel like I need a shower." I have nothing against people who are into Bane, I just know that I'm not one of them.
I go into to the shower, undress, and turn on the water while staring off into space. What a weird fantasy to have while watching that video. I never think about Bane like that, it's just not my thing. I reach down and scratch my leg again "Maybe that alcohol is still in my system or something." My hand starts rubbing my thigh as I close my eyes under the shower and let the water flow over my back. "Oh well, it's not like anyone is going to know I was thinking about Bane like that, no harm no foul I suppose". I realize I am still absentmindedly rubbing my leg, so I look down to see what my hand is up to. Huh? That briefcase wasn't there before. I lift up my hand and blink to clear the water from my eyes, only to feel my blood turn cold at what I see.
My hands in the shape of a hook on my belt loops.
