Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter etc… yeah, whatever.

A/N: This is just an idea I had recently about ruining all the wonderful clichés you find in JamesxLily fanfic. (Don't get me wrong- a lot of them are VERY good. I just felt like poking some fun)


Oh, great, now I'm watching him across the room, just wondering what it would be like to kiss those lips. Maybe I'd like it? Maybe I should give him a chance after all?

He certainly is good looking… But after swearing myself against him… Oh, to hell with it- I'm going to do it.

"James?"

"Hmm?"

I grabbed him by the front of his robes and kissed him, before breaking away.

"Nah,"

Well, that clears that one up then.

Xxx

"Odd, isn't it Lily? That all the head boys and head girls in the past have all got married. It's like… fate…"

"Thanks for that deep and meaningful comment. Can we just get these rounds done before I go insane?"

"Yeah, if you want, Lilykins,"

"Shut up,"

They rounded a corner, only to be ambushed and shoved into a broom closet by a suspiciously Sirius-shaped figure. Predictably, the lock clicked and "You're not going to be let out until you kiss," floated through the door.

"Potter, you're a bastard,"

"Lily, I honestly didn't- mumph!"

The lock clicked again, and the door swung open.

"Lily! Wait!"

"What for, Potter? You're going to be in detention for the next three months, and so is Black. Don't make it worse for yourself,"

"But- You don't feel anything for me?"

"No,"

"No deep, meaningful connection?"

"No,"

"Not even a desperate desire to shag my brains out?"

"Not even that,"

"Damn,"

xxx

"Lily! Hey! Lily!"

"What?"

"Go out with me?"

"Alright,"

"Really?"

"No,"

xxx

Lily ran up the stairs leading to her common room, tears streaming down her face. "Godamnit! Why now?" She muttered to herself, furiously wiping them away. "Fairy lights!" she gasped at the concerned-looking picture of the Fat Lady, who swung open obediently.

"Lily! Are you okay? You're crying! Come here, I'll listen, you just cry it all out," James enveloped her in his 'protective, manly arms', gathering her to his chest.

"James!" She protested, breaking free. "I really don't find hayfever all that depressing, thanks,"

xxx

As Lily Evans headed across the entrance hall and approached the Great Hall ready for lunch, she noticed with a heightening sense of dread that there was a hushed murmuring going on. She pushed open the door to find that there was a very large noticeable sparkling pink banner pinned to the wall behind the teacher's table. It read; "Lily Evans, love of my life, would you do me the honour of accompanying me to Hogsmeade this weekend?"

Lily felt a strange feeling overcoming her.

Ten minutes later, James Potter lost one of his balls.


Um... comments appreiciated?

And if you have any particular favourite cliches that you would like me to shoot down in flames (like the hypocrite that I am) please, let me know.

Miss SJB