Courage and Fear

Story Summary: If running away made him a coward, then so be it.

Prompt: March

20) Running from every corner of this world and sky

Song:

I'm frightened by what I see
But somehow I know
That there's much more to come
Immobilized by my fear
And soon to be
Blinded by tears
I can stop the pain
If I will it all away

Servatis a periculum [save us from danger].
Servatis a maleficum
[save us from evil].

"Whisper" by Evanescence

-Start-

Prologue

Courage wasn't the absence of fear but the ability to overcome it. This I knew, and yet…

The absence of fear

What were you if you have no fear? Foolish? Ignorant? Selfless?

I have no idea what a person would be if they had no fear. My only example is possibly the most contradictory figure to find said quality in: Link, the Hero of Time and possessor of the Triforce of Courage.

The first time I met him, he was a child in an adult's body. He was amazed at the changes occurring to him and radiated purity, in all its unabashed child-like curiosity. To my knowledge, he was more enthralled by the new world he was in rather than anything else. It seemed like an adventure to him. Even the minute his eyes first laid on me, he reflected nothing but determination and a well-placed mistrust.

"Wow! Link, look at how've big you've grown!" the blue fairy exclaimed upon the hero's reawakening. The mute blond's expression said it all. He too was amazed at the occurrence.

A soft noise.

The hero swiftly turned and unsheathed the Master Sword, ready to attack if the situation called for it. As impressed as I was by his actions, it was his serious eyes piercing into mine that gained him my respect.

Perhaps that is when the fear began.

Fear

I do not know what people think of me, but I try to maintain professionalism at all time. This, however, does not mean I am doubtless, emotionless or fearless. In fact, it's quite the opposite. I do believe, wholeheartedly, that this has made me more cautious and less likely to commit mistakes throughout my mission.

Many times in the missions I have given the hero, I have feared for his life, doubted my choices and the orders given to me, and fought to trust him and the Goddesses who gave him this mission. My greatest fear, however does not lay in his survival –No- it lays on him. Or better said, his personality.

"He's not ready." I muttered silently.

"According to who? He's passed the preliminary trails you placed upon him. As far as I'm concerned, he is ready."

I pressed my lips together. Effectively, he had passed my trails. But, was he really ready?

"If he doesn't pass this test and I'm forced to intervene, then this will be the last time you have any say in my methods."

At first, I was marveled by his courage and determination. He would always work his hardest and pushed himself to complete his missions despite the number of foes he faced and the complexity of his trails; he would heal his wounds and continue his journey. Sometimes he would perform meaningless requests, I figure, perfect to relieve stress and regain his energy. That was fine, I approved… but then, I began to realize something that was amiss when I watched him battle.

At first it was a small feeling in the back of my mind urging me into looking deeper into the hero's actions. I thought that maybe it was his style the one that was off and causing me to feel uncomfortable so I began focusing on his body and his actions.

I'd rather not go into detail about my observations of his body, thus we shall simply continue with a brief, there is nothing wrong with his fighting style.

Next I thought that maybe there was something about his concentration. So began to observe his face, his eyes were always shifting back and forth analyzing the situation and reacting accordingly, there was no moment in which his seemed too distracted and he held a look of determination that was ideal for a fighter to have. It was then when I noticed the reason for my discomfort.

Between slashing and hacking his sword around, from one monster to another, a smile graced his lips as satisfaction made his eyes gleam in an unnatural light of joy.

It was that realization that brought shivers down my shine and when a profound and foreboding fear overtook me.

He was enjoying this slaughter.

Bloodlust

My mind immediately linked this concept to something I had noticed since before, many of the bosses the hero had fought against seemed resigned to being killed by the child turned man. The more I thought about it, the more the thought of the hero killing monsters and fiends which had been ready to die and had, in a certain way that was and at the same time wasn't quite, allowed themselves to be slaughtered in such cruel and bloody ways seemed so…

I didn't dare give it a word.

I shook my head many times trying to get the steadily growing idea out of my head. I couldn't doubt the hero, Hyrule's single chance at survival, because it was my duty to lead him to his final battle with Ganondorf. He had to win. My feelings could not get in the way of my mission.

I wanted to find relief in the possibility that I had misunderstood the hero's actions. I didn't want to let anyone know of my hesitations so I decided to participate a bit more actively in the next few missions to determine if indeed my mind was coming up with ridiculous notions or indeed my suspicion was accurate.

I joined him in a certain way after his mission at Death Mountain, leading him through ways where his abilities were put to test against many monsters and individuals such as Lady Impa herself. As well as the Hero's Shadow, which to my discomfort seemed quite interested in my presence. It was a long and tiring decision which though it gave me insight in his character… and more information than I needed to know… didn't pacify my doubts.

"Shiek?" Navi called my name, but my eyes were on the dead bodies that covered the floor.

I didn't respond immediately, my eyes piercing the gory mess, my lips were occupied with a familiar prayer my people had for the dead. Their deaths were not senseless, I told myself, they were for the creation of a better future. Their deaths were not enjoyed and could not be helped, I told myself, but said words felt like a bitter lie on my tongue.

Finishing the prayer I turned to the fairy and the blood stained hero, "let us go, time is of the essence".

Unease

If indeed the pair of the hero and his fairy were not unkind, they certainly were more reserved than they had been when alone with just the two of them. I know I regret admitting said thought but… I admit that their casual and sometimes senseless actions were endearing. The two had a relationship that reminded me much of mother-child dynamics rather than friend ones, while their behavior filled me with pleasant warmth, I couldn't help but feel an almost overbearing nostalgia of my own mother…

The many days in company of the two travelers had me more than once trying to keep a tight control over my emotions. I fear I failed badly at said task… Something about that fact terrified me. I felt deep within my bones that my actions had triggered a series of events that would lead to something horrific. The fear overthrew my vital signs and had me breathing heavily and deep intakes. I felt that no air was enough to make my painfully throbbing heart stop beating so erratically. This fear, the assertion of my fears, and the uncountable possible futures tormented me and gave me the irrational desire to run away. Far, far away.

The hero and his fairy were huddled near the fire. I was a distance away softly pulling at my lyre's strings bringing out a soft melody. Somehow, my lyre always seemed to read my emotions the best. The beautiful melodies it sang to me felt comforting, as though it were sentient itself and trying to heal the heart's pains.

The hero was entertained with Navi's talk as she commented on every little thing of their trip and things they had to do. Though the responses were vague, it always seemed that the hero and the fairy weren't limited by such things. She made up for his silences but also tried to make it a two way 'conversation', I wasn't quite sure if it was working but it seemed to so I left it at that.

I grew lost in my thoughts as the melody continued; my fingers continued playing and my thoughts lingered on the moon and home and mission-less days. No more Ganondorf, Princess Zelda, Hyrule, Navi or hero. Memories of the glint in his eyes as his sliced his enemies in half shot through my mind and terror shook me. A burning pain in my finger made me return to reality.

I finished my song and turned to my fingers, which once more were covered in blood. I glanced around to see the hero and his fairy-aid well asleep. Paranoid, I turned my back to them, lift my cowl and licked my bloodied fingers (best not let it go to waste). Once the bleeding had stopped I wrapped them in bandages.

So much for not letting my emotions get to me.

The time for the hero's decisive battle approached and the preparations for the great finale began. Whilst the hero battled on, I changed places with a hypnotized Princess Zelda who would awaken upon the final battle with Ganondorf. My instincts still screamed at me to run before it was too late, but my head told me that what I had to worry about was the hero and the princess' success, it tried to convince my heart to stop beating so hard by telling it that Link would return to his former 10 year old self and I would be long gone to a place he would never follow.

I knew this.

But why? Why did my gut tell me that there was no escape from this inevitable fate of which these unexplainable feelings of fear came from and yet told my brain nothing of. I wanted to run, escape and never be found.

Chance

I stared from afar as Princess Zelda carried out the final act and performed my disappearance to inexistence. It was part of my duty and personal satisfaction to know how the hero and princess would defeat Ganondorf, or if they would be able to. My heart was torn between traitorous thoughts such as the hero's possible death as well as Ganon, and wishing the best for the boy I had come to know during these last few months.

The final blow lifted a weight from upon my shoulders as the two blonds sealed away the tyrannical Ganon in the Sacred Realm.

My mission was complete.

For a moment, I felt absolutely numb as I finally was free from the horrors of the past 7 years. The training, the misery, the home sickness, the secretiveness and the fear of those years were all gone and finished. Soon, Princess Zelda would play the Song of Time and all of us would return to our lives. I checked the mission stone I had been given before the beginning of this journey as the princess' shadow and the hero's guide. Its black stone had turned to blue.

A sense of exaltation invaded me as everything ended, pride was overwhelming as the thought of having helped bring this moment to completion played through my head. A satisfied smile laid hidden behind my cowl as I began leaving the area without a clear destination in mind. I supposed to would return to Kakariko Village and use the house of Impa for the remainder of my stay in this place.

That was when the fear hit me harder than ever. The realization of having to pass through a place where the Hero of Time would see me was fatal. I now didn't exist to the hero. I could run away. My mission had been completed and the only ones who could stop me were Lady Impa and her Majesty Princess Zelda, one which was a sage bound to her temple and the other who was busy celebrating and wouldn't be able to do anything even should she notice I ran for it.

The Deku Nuts I held in my hand seemed heavier than I had felt them in forever. Throwing them to the ground and disappeared to Kakariko.

My mission was done.

I stared at the princess and hero as they hugged in the emotion of victory that swarm and invaded them thoroughly. A small, relieved smile graced my lips.

"It's over."

I turned from the sight, eyes closed in bliss. A moment to regain composure. My eyes opened and I ran.

I had no destination but my mission was over. I could now run away.

Loss

Not a day passed before Princess Zelda sent the hero, along with ourselves, back in time.

Finally, I was back home.

I was 9 years old and I was home.

But the fear did not leave me.

"Did you really think you could escape?"

-End-

Author's notes: This will be a three-shot. Still, I expect some reviews even if it's only to comment on my grammar or punctuation mistakes. This is a shounen-ai fic, nothing too serious like smut or lemon. I will not stand for anyone commenting on how Sheik is really Zelda or whatnot, so do not bother.

Concerning the disclaimer, I feel no need of actually putting one since everyone knows that fanfiction states that this story was taken from an original work which is not of our owning therefore one would have to be incredibly stupid to assume otherwise.