Story Notes: Inspired by Ruth Berman's "Visit To A Weird Planet Revisited" which appeared in "The New Voyages" volume I, first published in 1976 and reissued in 1996.
STRANGER THAN FICTION
Captain Kathryn Janeway, commander of Voyager, stood patiently on the transporter platform. Beside her was Seven of Nine. They, like the others present, were giving their complete undivided attention to the all-powerful individual who controlled their lives, namely the director.
"Okay, Kate, when you step off the platform, stagger and then collapse." Mulgrew nodded.
"And then," said the tall dark man with the enigmatic tattoo traced on his temple, "I'm supposed to break her fall and ease her to the floor."
"Yes, Robert, but take it easy. You're showing concern for your captain, not lust! Be careful just how you catch her and what you hold on the way down. We don't want to give anyone the wrong idea about these two."
"Then why is she supposed to collapse in my arms, calling my name?" Beltran wanted to know.
"Yeah, just what is the right idea?" questioned Mulgrew. "Honestly, I wish you guys would make up your minds about what you plan on doing with the whole Janeway/Chakotay relationship. Are they or aren't they? You've been tiptoeing around the whole thing for years, ever since that episode 'Resolutions' where they were stuck on the planet together."
"Seems like there's a real case for it, remember Chakotay mourning the dead Janeway in 'Coda' ?" said Garrett Wang, standing patiently by the transporter controls.
"How about the way you keep telling me to touch him every time we have a scene together," continued Mulgrew. "Or when you let us finally kiss, at the end of "Hunters" when they got the letters from home."
"We cut that scene out afterwards. It was never aired."
"Well, you have been sending mixed signals. You've hinted at something going on, but you also have all those episodes of me with some blond 'alien babe of the week'," put in Beltran.
The director sighed. "You know that Brannon doesn't want Janeway and Chakotay to get involved. We're Star Trek, not Melrose Place. We're a family show and we don't do-"
"Sex," said Mulgrew and Beltran in unison.
"Come on, what have the Paris and Torres characters been doing for the past couple of years?" said Jeri Ryan. "Or the time Harry Kim got space VD?"
"For that matter, what about Seven of Nine's outfit?" said Wang. "You want to tell me that has nothing to do with sex?"
The director appeared to count to ten. "You got complaints, take them up with the producers. Can we get on with it, folks?"
They all resumed their positions when someone suddenly said, "Wait!"
"Now what?"
"Robert's tattoo is melting off."
"Oh, great. Makeup! Everybody else, take five."
Mulgrew sat down wearily. "My feet are killing me. What do you think the chances are of our finishing at a decent hour?"
"Don't talk to me about feet, not with these heels," said Ryan. "And if they don't hurry up, I'm going to have to go to the bathroom again."
"Oh, no, that'll be another half hour wait!" Mulgrew said in dismay. "I'd really like to catch the last flight this evening, rather than wait till morning."
"Back to Cleveland, huh?" smirked Wang.
"Yep. And before you start with the 'mistake on the lake' jokes again, I'll remind you it's a very nice city. Much better place to live than Los Angeles, I can tell you that."
Ryan looked at her co-star sympathetically. "Yeah, commuting's a real pain. I'm glad I'm not doing that any more. Still, at least your kids are older."
Mulgrew closed her eyes. "Don't let anyone tell you it gets easier as they get older. Just wait'll you have teenagers."
The makeup assistant finally finished with Beltran, and after giving a last hard look at Mulgrew's hair, departed the set.
"Places everybody! Okay, three, two, one. Action!"
Mulgrew counted to three, for the time allotted for the transporter effect. As she was about to step forward, the whole set seemed to waver and she felt herself growing dizzy. The staggering step she took was more convincing than intended.
"Chakotay," she murmured weakly as she sank to her knees, and then realized that not only hadn't Beltran caught her, he wasn't even in the room.
The room. She was no longer on a sound stage, on a set, but instead was in a small room with four very definite walls. Overhead was a real ceiling. She slowly got to her feet.
"Kate, did you---" began Ryan and then stopped in confusion as she looked around.
The uniformed man at the control console looked at them with concern. "Captain, Seven, are you all right? The commander's on the bridge---" Just then a familiar voice interrupted.
"Chakotay to Transporter Room. Is there a problem, Ensign?" Mulgrew and Ryan looked at each other in disbelief. "Were you able to recover their patterns?"
"Yes, sir, I've got them both, but they seem a bit dazed."
Mulgrew moved rapidly over to where the Ensign was standing. "Everything's fine, Commander. I'll see you on the bridge shortly." She spoke loudly, hoping she was close enough to be heard over the ensign's comm badge.
"Do you want to stop by sickbay first, Captain?"
"No, no, that won't be necessary. Janeway out." She turned to the crewman. "Thank you, Ensign, dismissed."
"Yes, ma'am." They watched him leave.
"Nice recovery. Now, where in the hell are we?" asked Ryan. "Don't tell me we're on board the real Voyager!"
"Sure looks that way," Mulgrew answered. "But don't ask me how."
"What do we do now?"
Mulgrew thought rapidly. "Well, Chakotay's expecting us on the bridge."
"You mean we're actually going to go there?"
"Sure, why not? We'll pull him aside, explain the situation, and then they'll find a way of sending us back."
"Can they do that, you think?"
Mulgrew snorted. "They sure as hell better be able to! Do you want to spend the rest of your life stuck in the Delta Quadrant?"
Ryan rolled her eyes. "If we're here, where do you think the, uh, 'real' Seven and Janeway are?" she stumbled a bit over the words. "Back at the studio?"
"No way of knowing. But we'll let Chakotay worry about that." Mulgrew stopped suddenly at the thought of actually meeting the real crewmembers of Voyager, including real aliens.
They stepped out into the corridor. "Now, where do you think the nearest turbo lift is?" whispered Mulgrew.
"Pick a direction and start walking. We're bound to come across one sooner or later," Ryan said. She glanced over at the other woman. "Hey, stay in character."
"Huh?"
"You're not striding. Janeway always strides."
Mulgrew snickered, despite the seriousness of their situation. "And you think Seven really wriggles her butt like that?"
"It's impossible to walk any other way in this getup."
They reached a door marked turbolift. "Is there an 'open' button?"
"I think it opens automatically," said Mulgrew. Her words were soon borne out. They stepped on. "Bridge," she said tentatively, and flashed a gratified smile when they started to move.
Neither one of them was quite prepared when the doors opened. "Captain on the bridge!" a voice snapped out as they entered.
Mulgrew strode over to the captain's chair. "Report," she called out, trying to control her shock at the size of the bridge, and at the appearance of the man who was at that moment vacating her seat. My God, he looks exactly like Robert Beltran!
"All systems operating at peak efficiency, Captain," said Tim Russ. No, Tuvok, she corrected herself.
"Course laid in, Captain," said the helmsman, who could only be Tom Paris. Mulgrew noticed in passing that his hair was thinning on top, just like Robbie McNeil's. "Ready to leave orbit."
Mulgrew sat there quietly until Voyager's first officer spoke. "Was the mission concluded satisfactorily, Captain?"
"Uh, yes, of course."
The silence dragged on for a few more seconds. "Is there a problem, Captain?"
With a start, Mulgrew realized what was expected. "Go ahead, Mr. Paris. Take us out." Was she supposed to say "engage" or "make it so"?
Fortunately, Paris seemed to see nothing amiss. "Aye, Captain. Moving out, at full impulse. Ready to go to warp in two minutes."
Ryan had been standing awkwardly at the science station, wondering what to do with herself. She shot a look at the captain's chair, as if to say, "Come on, Kate, what are you waiting for?"
Mulgrew opened her mouth, but before she had a chance to say anything, Harry Kim spoke from the Ops station. "I'm reading a ship up ahead, dropping out of warp."
"Onscreen," ordered Chakotay. "Can you identify the vessel?"
"Negative," replied the Vulcan tactical officer.
Mulgrew was suddenly reminded of a script they'd once done that depicted a very similar situation. She was concentrating so hard on staying in character, that to her surprise, she found herself speaking. "Raise shields and go to red alert."
Chakotay turned to look at her. "Captain?"
"Just do it. I've got a feeling about this." Mulgrew heard a choked sound coming from the science station. She didn't dare turn around and meet Ryan's eyes.
No sooner had the shields been raised than Kim said, "The other vessel is powering weapons!" They felt the ship rock.
"Evasive maneuvers!" called out the first officer. "Status of shields?"
"They're holding."
"Hail the other ship," said Mulgrew, recounting the lines to herself.
"No response."
"All right, target their weapons systems," she said.
Tuvok responded to her order. "A direct hit. Their weapons are disabled."
"Let's see if they want to talk now," Mulgrew said, standing up and placing her hands firmly on her hips.
"Channel open."
"This is Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Federation Starship Voyager. Who are you and why have you fired on us?"
It was strange to see a picture on the viewscreen instead of a blank blue surface. The starfield faded out, to be replaced by the interior view of the other vessel. She found herself looking at a most disappointing alien. He couldn't have been more than a meter high and what struck her most was his total lack of anything overtly alien. No horns, no bumpy noses. Michael Westmore's done more convincing makeup jobs than that!
"We are the Implauzi. You were observed leaving the planet of our sworn enemies, the Improbi."
Mulgrew looked over at Chakotay and was grateful when he answered. "We just inquired about the possibility of conducting trade for some minor materials, mostly food."
Feeling she needed to assert the captain's authority, Mulgrew added, "It is against our laws to become involved in the politics of local cultures."
The alien refused to be placated. "By even contacting the Improbi you have proven yourselves to be allied with our enemies! Prepare to be destroyed!"
"Just how do you propose doing that?" Mulgrew asked dryly. "We have already disabled your weapons systems."
The alien drew himself up to his full height. "We will call in reinforcements! We will repair our weapons! And then we will destroy you!"
Mulgrew found herself getting annoyed with this little alien who was delaying her finding a way out of this strange place and back to where she belonged. "Oh, pipe down. We're not your enemies. We could've destroyed you just now, but didn't. Of course, if you prefer, we could still..." she let her voice trail off convincingly.
"Phasers locked on target," said Tuvok. She blessed his Vulcan heart for going along with her bluff.
Another little alien tapped the first one's shoulder and spoke rapidly and earnestly. The leader turned back to them and said, "We will let you off this once, Voyager. But you will learn to fear the wrath of the Implauzi! Do not give any more aid or succor to our enemies!" They broke contact.
"The Implauzi ship is moving off, Captain."
"Good," she sighed. Then she turned to the first officer. "May I see you in the Ready Room, Commander?"
She strode ahead of him, trying to ignore the pleading looks Ryan was sending her. Janeway would not include Seven in a private tete a tete with the Commander, of that she was sure. Jeri would just have to sit tight for a few minutes.
"Hey, Seven, could you take a look at this readout?" she heard Kim say. Trying to stifle a giggle, she went into the Ready Room.
As soon as the door closed behind them, Mulgrew turned around to face Voyager's second in command. "I have something---" her words were cut off when she found herself swept up in his arms.
"Spirits, I was so worried about you! Are you all right, Kathryn? Did something happen down on the planet?" His voice was tight with concern and she saw the worry lines etched in his forehead. He stroked her hair back gently. "You've got a bruise on your cheek."
"I'm all right, really." She looked up into his dark, loving eyes. "Commander, we need to talk."
At her formal tone, he immediately released her. "Sorry, I know, we're on duty now." He was contrite. "I was just worried when the transporter patterns disappeared for a second."
She felt a surge of interest at his words. "Commander, you'd better sit down. I'm not who you think I am."
"What? Kathryn, is this some kind of joke?"
"I'm not Kathryn Janeway. My name is Kate Mulgrew, and I'm an actor from Earth's twentieth century. I play the role of Captain Janeway in a TV series called "Star Trek: Voyager."
"You must have hit your head. Come on, we're going to Sickbay."
"No, you've got to listen and believe me. I'm not really your captain. One minute Jeri and I were on the set---"
"Who?"
"Jeri Ryan. That's not the real Seven of Nine out there, either. Like I was saying, one minute we were on the set, and the next we were standing in your transporter room."
He took a harder look at her. "You look and sound like Kathryn Janeway, and you certainly act like her. What was that out there on the bridge just before?"
She waved away his words. "I was just replaying some lines from a script we once did. I think it may have been back in the second season when Janeway was so paranoid she was constantly going to red alert and threatening to blow up the ship."
He suddenly grabbed her and she found herself on the receiving end of a kiss. And what a kiss it was. If Robert Beltran had ever kissed her like that on camera, there would have been a lot of very happy JetCers. When it was over, she found herself gasping for breath. She looked up at him and saw the dawning realization on his face.
"You aren't Kathryn, after all. You look just like her, but I could tell you didn't respond---"
She smiled. "Mr. Chakotay, you are a very attractive man, and under other circumstances ... But as I told you, I'm not Kathryn."
He sighed. "The patterns did vanish for a moment. It could be that some type of switch occurred, if an inverse space time fissure opened up. That's not my area of expertise. We'd better talk to Torres."
When the doors to the Ready Room opened again, Ryan looked as though she was ready to cry with relief. Mulgrew strode over to the turbolift. "Commander, you have the bridge. Seven, you're with me."
In the 'lift, Ryan began firing questions at her. "Did you tell him? What the hell kind of stunt were you pulling before with that alien ship? What happens next? Where are we going?"
"Take it easy. One step at a time. Right now we're heading to Sickbay, to verify our claim, but don't worry about a thing. We're in good hands."
Ryan gave her a suspicious look. "Well, you certainly seem calm all of a sudden. Just what happened inside that Ready Room, anyway?"
"Wouldn't you like to know?"
The senior staff were assembled in the conference room where Chakotay had just finished explaining the situation. The reactions were mostly ones of incredulity and disbelief.
"You mean they've got a television show about us? Cool!" said Tom Paris. "Say, what are your ratings like?"
"Are they planning on getting Voyager home any time in the near future?" Harry Kim wanted to know.
Torres shot them both a dirty look. "Are you sure these aren't the real Janeway and Seven?"
"Affirmative," the Doctor said. "This young woman," he indicated Ryan, "Is completely human. There are no implants, or more accurately, at least no Borg implants present in her body." Ryan glared at him. Mulgrew tried unsuccessfully not to laugh. "And this woman here has a completely different medical history than Captain Janeway. For example, she has given birth, whereas our Captain has never even been pregnant."
Chakotay rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Can we get on with this meeting, please? We need to pinpoint exactly what happened and see if we can reverse it to recover our crew members, and send these two women back to their proper time frame."
Torres frowned. "We need to review the sensor logs around the time of the incident, and we may need to go back to the same coordinates we were at when the switch occurred."
Kim jumped in, but his answer was so technical that Mulgrew soon lost interest. Same old technobabble, she thought. She started paying attention again only when she heard Chakotay say, "All right, that's it. I expect hourly progress reports."
Mulgrew and Ryan got slowly to their feet. "Uh, Commander, where do we, that is..."
"Right. We have to find a place for you to wait while we're working on a solution."
"Couldn't we go to our, or rather their, quarters?" asked Mulgrew.
"Hey, Seven doesn't have quarters. I'm not going to a dark cargo bay filled with creepy Borg machines!" said Ryan in dismay.
Only Tuvok failed to crack a smile at that comment. "It would be an invasion of our crewmembers' privacy to allow strangers access to their personal domains." Mulgrew wondered if he was annoyed at being fooled earlier.
"No need to worry about that," said Chakotay hastily. "We'll give you temporary quarters in one of our guest cabins."
Ryan smiled in relief. "Could we help in any way? We obviously don't have your technical background, but if there's anything we can do?" she offered.
"No, there isn't. The best thing you can do is to stay out of our way," snapped Torres as she stalked off.
Paris lingered for another moment. "Don't mind B'Elanna. She's very worried about getting the captain and Seven back."
"And she could never stand it when the real Seven tried to move in on something she felt was her area of expertise," added Kim.
Chakotay cleared his throat. "Ladies, if you'd come with me?"
Jeri Ryan had declined the offer of a tour of the ship. "I just want to get out of this costume and rest for a while. You can go without me, Kate."
Mulgrew was surprised that Chakotay had suggested the outing. "I'd have thought you'd want to keep us out of sight."
He smiled. "Well, as long as you stay off the bridge and don't commence firing on any other ships, I don't see the harm in letting you see what the real Voyager is like. Besides, we haven't publicized this 'incident' yet and it's good for the captain to be seen."
"Thanks. I don't have a problem with continuing to pretend to be her. I must admit, I find the similarities between our show and your reality fascinating." She shook her head. "Who'd have thought the writers were that good?" She went on, "it's also very nice of you to personally act as my escort. Are you sure I'm not keeping you from something important, especially now that you're in command?"
"Only temporary command," he answered easily. "We'll get them back. Anyway, I'm off-duty now. Are you hungry?"
"I wouldn't mind something to eat," she admitted. "Definitely a cup of coffee."
He chuckled as he led her to the Mess Hall. She hesitated on the threshold. "Is this safe?"
He gave her a questioning look. "Are you talking about Neelix's food, or about being seen in public?"
"Both," she said, as they sat down at a table.
Neelix came bustling over before Chakotay had a chance to reply. The Talaxian had not been at the briefing. "Ah, captain, commander, what can I get you?"
Chakotay answered for both of them. "Some coffee would be nice, thanks, Neelix."
"Something to go with it?"
Mulgrew resisted the urge to ask for some leola root. "What did you have in mind, Mr. Neelix?"
"I have some wonderful casserole left from lunch, or perhaps some muffins?" She looked over at Chakotay to see him shake his head violently at the mention of the casserole and mouth "muffins" at her.
"I'll try some muffins, thanks."
The food soon arrived, and Mulgrew tasted cautiously. "Hey, this stuff is good!"
"You sound surprised. I take it your Neelix's cooking isn't much better?" They both laughed.
"Do you mind if I ask you something, Commander?"
"Please, call me Chakotay."
"All right, Chakotay. Can I ask just what is going on between you and the captain?" At his look of discomfort, she added, "I don't mean anything really intimate or embarrassing or something like that. I just want to know in general about your relationship."
"May I ask why?"
She sighed. "There are so many similarities between our show and your lives. But this is one area, unfortunately, that is different."
"How so?"
"Well, from the way you, uh, greeted me, in the Ready Room, I take it that you two are in love and I'm curious about how long your relationship has been going on. You see, on our show, Janeway and Chakotay are not romantically involved. Oh, every now and then they have some ambiguous scene which could be interpreted several ways, and there's a rather vocal segment of fans who would kill to see them together. But the producers keep insisting that nothing is going to happen."
"It's funny you should say that. I mean, it certainly took us long enough to get together. Almost four years. At first, Kathryn was very loyal to Mark and wasn't able to accept that their relationship was over. I was still getting over that disastrous affair with Seska," he paused to see if the names were familiar to her and when she nodded he went on, "and then Kathryn was worried about Starfleet protocol and how it would look. She can be very stubborn. It was almost as if some higher power had decreed that we never get together."
"But you eventually won her over."
"Yes, I did. It hasn't always been smooth sailing, she can be so, well, we always manage to work our way through the rough spots. We've been very discreet and it's not public knowledge among the crew, but we have been together for over two years now."
"What about Kellin? And what about Riley, for that matter?"
He drew a complete blank. "Who?"
"Kellin, she was that Remoraan you fell in love with, oh, right, you all forgot about her. Never mind."
"What was that other name?"
"Riley Frazier."
"Oh, her! No, there was never anything with her. They linked with my mind to heal me and then used that link to force me to re-power one of their cubes. But there was nothing romantic there! An ex-Borg!" He laughed.
"Well, we played that one a bit differently, let's say." She decided not to ask about Kashyk. "So, that's really interesting to know."
He said, "Do you mind if I ask you something now? Are you married?"
"Yes, I am, to a truly wonderful man. His name's Tim Hagan, and he's a politician."
"You have children, I assume?"
"Two boys from my first marriage. Tim has two daughters."
"Is it hard, balancing your career with a family?" He seemed to really want to know and she guessed where this was leading.
"Well, I doubt that being an actor can compare in any way to the demands on a Starship captain, especially one in her position and with her responsibilities. I can tell you, I work very long hours and I've had to sacrifice a lot in my personal life. Sometimes you wonder if it's worth it. I came very close, in fact, to giving it all up to just devote myself full time to my family. But I found I just couldn't give up on Kathryn."
"I'm glad you decided to stick it out. I don't even want to think about what effect your quitting the role would have on us here."
She patted his hand. "I feel very connected to her. And if I know anything about Kathryn Janeway, I know that she's a very determined and dedicated individual. I think that if she wanted something badly enough, she'd find a way to make it work."
He smiled at her. "I think so, too."
They were interrupted by the chirp of his comm badge. "Torres to Chakotay."
"Chakotay here. Any progress, B'Elanna?"
"I think we have the solution to our problem, Commander. If you could notify our guests, I'll meet you in the transporter room."
"Good work. We're on our way."
As eager as she was to get back, it was with a faint feeling of regret that Mulgrew stepped onto the transporter platform.
"As soon as the transport is complete, Captain Janeway and Seven should reappear," said Torres.
"And you're sure we'll end up back at the studio?" asked Ryan.
"Don't worry," said Chakotay. "Well, ladies, I hope you enjoyed your visit. It certainly has been interesting."
"You could say that," Mulgrew agreed. "It's been most enlightening."
"Good luck in your future endeavors," Voyager's first officer said with a smile.
"Thank you," Mulgrew said. She cast a last look around the room. "Give my regards to Kathryn."
They heard a faint whine and had the sensation that the world was dissolving all around them. When their vision cleared, they saw with relief that they were back on the set.
"You will never believe where we've just been!" said Ryan excitedly.
"Cut! Oh, God, there goes the take!" yelled the director. "And where do you think you're going, Kate?"
"I've got to speak to Brannon right away," she called back, striding away rapidly. "There are some definite changes we need to make around here."
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