RandomCrap
Presents
Cartoonocalypse
Episode 2: The Band
As I mentioned last time, I was going to tell you about our bizarre adventure. I still can't tell you that, because I feel it is important to tell you about the band members and employees first. So here goes.
Ed Jones is one of the bands guitarists, mainly acoustic. He also does backup vocals, and if a certain person is singing, he takes over their instrument (for example, Kevin plays bass. When Kevin sings, Ed does bass). He is the smartest of the group, only slightly smarter than Edd. He has long orange hair which is in a ponytail when not on stage, a little orange beard, and peach fuzz. His skin is still yellow. His voice sounds like The Angry Video Game Nerd's. He wears a white t-shirt with green sleeves and a ghoulish face (resembling High-Five Ghost's) on the chest over a white long sleeve shirt. He also wears blue baggy jeans and black Converse One Stars.
Ed likes crappy monster movies, model kits, and video games. In fact, he can usually be seen playing any game on NES, SNES, Genesis, CDI, 3DO, N64, and Playstation. He is usually the one who gets us out of difficult situations. He is also the second strongest in the group, only beaten in strength by Tom.
Edd Protonsen is one of the singers in the band, and also does keyboards. He always talks with a death growl (similar to Nathan Explosion of Dethklok, but more like Chris Barnes of Cannibal Corpse on The Bleeding), and is the creepiest member of the band, due to his looks and his pet, Professor Pete, which is a living shrunken head. His hair is long and black, with the hair on his forehead dyed blood red. He has a full beard. He has one eye, which is blood red. His left eye socket is covered with an eye patch. His fingernails are black. He wears a black t-shirt with a skull on the chest and spiked bands on his wrists. He also wears dark blue jeans and spiked boots.
Edd likes science, inventing things, and gory stuff. Though he is 2nd smartest, he isn't practical or simple with solutions, as he makes his inventions to solve problems, but most of the time cause more problems. He is addicted to the medieval times, cigarettes, and Proffesor Pete. He scares little kids and elderly people. He also owns a medieval collection. The band calls it "morbid sh*t".
Eddy Thomson is the band's legendary drummer and the only member not to do any actual singing. His voice sounds like Lars Ulrich's (Metallica). He has long black hair, a Fu Manchu moustache, and a little black goatee beard. His eyes are black. All black, though when he is surprised, really pissed, or doing a double take his eyes look fairly normal again because his pupils got smaller, though are still slightly bigger than Ed's neutral. He wears a white short sleeve shirt that's all bloody, black jeans, and white tennis shoes.
Eddy, though not the smartest, is the most reasonable. He always suggests a solution to problems that would end it right there, though no one ever listens to him because they all think it's "too easy". He is almost never seen without a beer in his hands, and he drinks a variety of them. For obvious reasons, he is never 100% sober, though, due to how much he drinks, he is never drunk enough to be unaware of the world around him, or to forget the previous day.
Tom Thomson is Eddy's older brother. He is the lead guitarist. His voice sounds like Max Cavalera's (Sepultura). He has long orange hair and an orange goatee. His left eye is green, and his right eye is blue, which is why he wears sunglasses 85% of the time. He wears fingerless gloves, a leather jacket over a white tank top, blue jeans, and biker boots.
Tom is the oldest member, and the strongest(Hell, he's the strongest and most badass guy in the whole world!). His hobbies/interests include riding his Harley, reading Eddy's Playboys, and being loyal to the Peach Creek Gang, Peach Parfaits. He is heavily tattooed on his arms. His tattoos are his favorite bands' logos (Aeon, Cannibal Corpse, Decapitated, Metallica, Slayer, Judas Priest, etc.), flaming skulls, and gore. During the guitar solos of the songs they play at concerts, he rips his shirt off.
Kevin Usuc (pronounced, "You suck") is the band's bassist. His voice sounds like MC Codebreaker's(MSX FM/98 in GTA III/LCS). His hair is long and orange. He has a big black goatee beard and a little black moustache. Many people mistake him for a Mexican. He has huge black eyebrows and white eyes, like Russel from Gorillaz. He wears a gray shirt with a thumbs down sign on it, baggy camo pants, and black boots.
Kevin is not the dumbest, though he easily believes whatever bullsh*t Rolf tells him. He has nothing better to do than hang out with Rolf or fix his bike. He is also a bit of a dick (That's an understatement). Though the band covers Death Metal, Kevin's favorite genre is Drum and Bass. Kevin is the only one in the band that hates Tom (The others gave him a second chance, and he did well). Kevin now owns the deed to the jawbreaker factory, so he gets free jawbreakers that he shares with the band, though Tom has to pay $10 to have one.
Rolf Chikneg (sound like "chicken egg") is the band's rhythm guitarist. His voice is like Tomas Lindberg's (At The Gates), and he always speaks in third person. His hair is the longest in the band, and it is brown. He has a brown goatee. He has no eyes, though when he is surprised, pissed, or doing a double take, his eyes appear white, like 2D from Gorillaz. He wears a black shirt with a red sillohette of Satan's head, black shorts, and diamond studded black boots.
Rolf is the dumbest of the band. He doesn't know the difference between a pool table and a swimming pool (LOL). He is obsessed with farming, Black Metal, weed, and women, though he is the only one who can't get a girlfriend. He thinks this is because he's too good for them, but it is actually because he is embarrassing to be with.
Mr. Wilson is the band's manager. He used to be their teacher at school, but he was the worst teacher in the world. On your first day with him, you were lucky if you lived to see lunch. His class constantly changed because of this. The truth is, he can't help but bring death to most around him. He used to be the world's best marine, because no one could spend an entire day with him. If you run into him, you best walk away ASAP.
I, RandomCrap, am the guy who works the soundboard at concerts, and clean the instruments once a week. I am obsessed with video games, and am either doing that or on the computer watching stupid videos on YouTube. My YouTube name is Metalhead77736, and I will be using it to help me with this series.
Jeremy is instrument tech. He spends a lot of his time practicing for marathons, and always wears his running gear and "Tough Mudder" sweatband. He also is a math teacher at school. He, in my opinion, could also be a comedian.
Gary is the loader and unloader of our equipment at concerts. He wears a white button-up shirt and red tie, dress pants, and dress shoes. He is usually seen watching the Discovery channel, as he is a science teacher. He is very muscular.
Jonny "2x4" Smith is our producer and is leader of the Peach Parfaits. He is also a successful club DJ and drug dealer. He is always high on cocaine. He always wears his headphones (They are specially designed by Edd to help him hear, as he lost his ears in a knife fight, though he tends to forget to turn it on).
My little brother, Alex, handles the guns, because he is obsessed with guns. He wears glasses and is kind of geeky, as he is in to sci-fi and Star Wars.
Finally, Pitch, our chef. Our zombie chef. He cooks live animals. I have never eaten any of his cooking.
Well, that's all I have time for. I'm going to McDonald's.
