(A/N)-- Well, I've now invaded the TeniPuri section. You can blame one Bearit for that. Anyway, considering this is my first TeniPuri fic, comments, corrections, and suggestions are always greatly appreciated.
~*
It was a lovely spring afternoon in Seishun Gakuen--or Seigaku, for short. Crisp swats could be heard from the famed tennis courts as a soft wind blew; birds were chirping and bees were buzzing. Though most of the birds here, for whatever reason, were excruciatingly annoying, and the bees tended to ignore them.
Most of the bees got along just fine without any birds in this school, though.
"PICK UP YOUR FEET, SHORTY!"
"DON'T CALL ME SHORT!"
Breaking the springtime cheer of this scene, what sounded like a herd of elephants came dashing down the hall. In reality, the elephants were a pair from the famed Seigaku tennis club--the tennis prodigy Ryoma Echizen and his sempai, Takeshi Momoshiro (or Momo, as he insisted on being called), dashing down the halls like they were fleeing from some enraged demon.
The two rounded a corner and took a brief rest, panting. Ryoma glared up at his sempai, gold eyes flaming.
"You just HAD to replace Kaidou's shampoo with hair dye, DIDN'T you?!" he hissed.
Momo sweatdropped. "How was *I* supposed to know that he shared it with Tezuka?!" he tried to protest in his defense.
A door slammed from around the corner, and the two fleeing regulars let out twin squeaks. Ryoma looked around in panic.
Gotta find a place to hide...a classroom, an air vent, a locker, a DESK, ANYTHING!!, he cursed silently as his eyes swept the halls for the nearest hiding spot. His eyes locked on a janitor's closet.
"Echizen, where--hey!!" Momo yelped as Ryoma grabbed him by the hand, and with surprising strength for a preteen, dragged him to the janitor's closet and shoved him in, hopping in behind him and shutting the door.
Momo blinked against the darkness of the closet, trying to get his eyes to adjust to the dim light. His violet eyes scanned the tiny enclosement, searching for the familiar glare of Ryoma.
"Echizen, where'd you go?" he asked rather noisily, seeming to forget that one doesn't have to speak loudly in an enclosed area, and that he was currently on the run from a certain enraged captain.
"Quiet, you hulking idiot!!" a voice hissed from behind Momo.
Momo spun around, hand groping for Ryoma's face. Instead, his hand found something else; longer then it was wide, and rather hard.
There was a pause.
Momo gulped, face beginning to illuminate the room with an eerie neon red glow.
"...Echizen...what am I grabbing...?" he choke-whispered.
Ryoma frowned and looked down, wondering what Momo was so worried about.
"...My wrist..." he said, slowly.
Momo breathed a sigh of relief, deliberately shutting out the not-so-tiny voice in his head screaming for another try.
Outside, the rest of the regulars had just burst through the hall door, looking frantically around for the two missing players. Eiji rose up onto his toes, peering around.
"I don't see them...maybe they got away?" the redhead mused.
Oishi nodded and stood beside his partner, looking around worriedly. "I hope so...Tezuka's going to kill them when he finds them..."
"Or worse..." Taka murmured fearfully. He shivered. "...Let Inui make them his personal taste testers."
The gathered players shuddered.
"If you don't find them soon, I'll surrender you ALL to Inui." came a low voice from the door.
Everyone froze. Tezuka stepped out of the doorway, glasses glinting and hair shining a delightful pink shade. Eiji tried to suppress his laughter. Fuji, smiling as brightly as ever, cocked his head to the side.
"Now, now; what would be so -terrible- about that?" he asked, dripping venom. The rest of the regulars glared at him.
Tezuka's expression didn't twitch a micrometer. "Then if you don't find them soon, I will abolish snogging breaks for the rest of the year."
The players paled.
"...We'll be good..." they conceded quietly, in unison.
Tezuka dismissed them with a wave of his hand, spinning back to the door. The players dashed down the halls, frantically looking in classrooms for the refugee regulars. As the players dashed through the door at the end of the hall, Tezuka raised a hand.
"Fuji."
Fuji stopped, spinning around and smiling. "Yes, Captain?"
Tezuka motioned to the janitor closet. "Lock the door."
Fuji smiled even brighter, eyes slitting open. "As you wish."
A soft, sobbing curse leaked from behind the janitor closet door as Fuji clicked the keyhole shut.
~*
"This is all your fault, you know."
"Yup."
Ryoma continued beating his forehead with a nearby broomstick. "You don't seem particularly apologetic."
Momo yawned, settling his head on his arms against the wall. "Cause that's all you've been saying to me for the half-hour we've been in here."
Momo watched Ryoma continue to whack his head with the wooden stick. Somewhere in the back of his head, he wondered why the kid hadn't knocked himself out yet. Whatever the case, it didn't really look very relaxing.
Whap. Whap. Whap. Whap. Whap. Whap. Whap. Whap. Whap.
"Y'know, you don't have to worry a bit, Echizen. We'll get out of here by the end of the day--absolute latest, I swear--when the janitor locks up."
Whap. Whap. Whap. Whap. Whap. Whap. Whap. Whap. Whap.
"...And you're going to hurt yourself."
Whap. Whap. Whap. Whap. Whap. Whap. Whap. Whap. Whap.
"...I have waffles in my hat."
Whap. Whap. Whap. Whap. Whap. Whap. Whap. Whap. Whap.
"...Are you even listening to me?"
Whap. Whap. Whap. Whap. "No." Whap. Whap. Whap. Whap. Whap.
Momo sighed and settled back. Impossible to be social with that kid. He yawned and scratched his shoulder, checking his watch. 4:30. Practice still hadn't let out yet, and it was almost time for dinner. His stomach growled.
Shh, I know, I know...we'll get out of here soon., Momo soothed. He dug through his pockets, trying to see if he had any candies to tide him over. He blinked as his fingers brushed across something metallic. He grinned.
"'Ey, Ech-i-zen..."
Whap. Whap. Whap. Whap. Whap. Whap. Whap. Whap. Whap.
Momo smirked, pulling his hand out of his pocket. "Fine, if you don't want to talk to me, I WON'T tell you that I have the keys to the door.
Whap. Whap. Wh...ap?
Ryoma slowly turned a look to Momo, eye twitching. "...What."
Momo tugged a keyring out of his pocket. "Found it on the bench in the courts, thought I'd return it at the end of practice." He let out a boisterous laugh. "Lucky, eh?"
Ryoma kept a steady look at him. "You've had it for all this time...and you didn't say anything."
Momo blinked. "...Must've forgot."
Ryoma dropped the broom and buried his head in his hands. Momo blinked at the keys.
...Why didn't he remember? Momo had always prided himself on his amazing memory, along with his dashing good looks and godly strength. If his memory started to go...then what next?! WHAT NEXT?!
Momo pushed that gruesome thought out of his mind as quickly as possible, not being able to bear the thought of denying the world of the glory that was him.
Anyway. It wasn't like Ryoma was talking his ear off so he couldn't think...he was just sitting there. Whacking his head with a broom. Every so often tilting his head up to glare at him with those gold eyes...
Momo choked and began to fumble with the keys. "Lessee-lessee what've we got here?"
...What the hell was that?!, Momo frantically whispered in his mind.
He began to pull off the keys one by one. He'd linked it onto his own keyring so he wouldn't lose it, but was beginning to regret the decision.
"Let's see, key to my house, key to the garage, key to my room, key to my bike, key to my hall locker, key to my gym locker, key to Kaidou's locker, key to the changing rooms, key to the school greenhouse, key to the practice courts, key to the music room, key to my heart..."
Momo sifted through the keys, dropping the latter key to the floor. Ryoma picked it up; glaring at it and wondering why it seemed so captivating.
"Well, anyway. Key to the book of doom, key to another realm, keyhole, key-lime pie, keyboard, keystone, key-code, malarkey, turkey, Don Quixote..."
Momo frowned at the last key. "Oh, now that's a bit of a stretch." He chucked it behind him.
He continued to sort.
"Okey-dokey, hokey-pokey, lucky, murky, silky, cocky, husky, smoky, hickey, hanky-panky, flaky, flunkey, lackey, screw key, doohickey, high-key, diskjockey, keyhole saw, Florida keys, Louis Leakey, donkey, thrinax keyensis, monkey, hockey, whiskey..."
Momo reached the last key.
"And, for the finale...Mickey!"
A small black mouse hopped from the keyring and marched through a hole in the wall, singing the Mickey Mouse Club theme. Momo bobbed his head with the music and shrugged.
"M-o-u-s-e. Huh. Guess I DIDN'T pick up the janitor closet key...oh well, eh, Echizen?"
Ryoma merely stared at Momo, not speaking. His hand slowly moved back to the broom.
Whap. Whap. Whap. Whap. Whap. Whap. Whap. Whap. Whap.
~*
And now, we present TeniPuri in Spanish.
~*
Scene: In the tennis courts of Seigaku, during practice. Eiji sambaed into sight, wearing an oversized foam sombrero and shaking maracas in rhythm with his hips. Oishi followed closely behind, strumming a guitar.
"¡Es hora para la práctica del tenis! ¡Deseo un mono!" Eiji squealed.
Fuji walked into sight, holding a binder. He snapped the binder open, and cleared his throat.
"'It is time for tennis practice. I want a monkey.'" he translated, smiling.
"Sí. La práctica del tenis ahora está. El tenis ahora está estando. Me ardo." Tezuka intoned, his tennis pants aflame.
Fuji turned a page in his binder. "'Yes. Tennis practice is now. Tennis is being now. I am on fire.'"
"El capitán se arde. Obtendré el agua." Taka stated, holding up a bucket and dashing out of the court.
"'The captain is on fire. I will obtain the water.'" Fuji spoke, sketching something boredly on a leaf of notebook paper.
"Inui, he colocado mal mis pantalones. Porqué usted los lanzó fuera de la ventana ayer por la noche?" Kaidou asked, clad only in boxers with little tennis rackets on them.
"'Inui, I have misplaced my trousers. Why did you throw them out the window last night?'" Fuji finished his small sketch, grinning happily at it.
Inui adjusted his glasses. "Esperar de era yo que usted nunca que los necesita otra vez."
"'I hoping was me that you never needing them again.'" Fuji held his sketch up to the screen, revealing it to be of Mizuki.
Ryoma appeared with a large and sharp stick. "Cada uno, he atado el Sakuno a un árbol, la dejé ser nuestro piñata y nos dejé golpearla con este palillo agudo."
"'Everyone, I have tied Sakuno to a tree, let her be our piñata and let us hit her with this sharp stick.'" Fuji calmly stabbed his pencil through the Mizuki sketch's no-no spot.
Momo took the stick from Ryoma and lifted him over his shoulder. "Golpeémosla con el palillo y después tengamos sexo pegajoso espacioso del mono en el cuarto del armario."
"'Let us hit her with the stick and then let us have capacious sticky monkey sex in the locker room.'" Fuji calmly crumpled up the sketch and let it fall to the ground.
"Mis pantalones están derritiendo." Tezuka stated, his trousers oozing off of his legs.
"'My pants are melting.'" Fuji translated, grinding the crumpled sketch under his heel.
"He obtenido el agua. La salpicaré en el capitán." said Taka, dumping a bucket of water on Tezuka.
"'I have obtained the water. I shall splash it on the captain.'" Fuji snapped his binder shut, smiling ever so sweetly.
Oishi and Eiji began to tango, Oishi holding a rose between his teeth. He dipped Eiji.
"¡Tengo un cerdo en mis pantalones!" stated Eiji, getting twirled upward by Oishi.
Oishi blinked. "You have a hog in your pants?" he whispered to Eiji, confusedly.
"¡Sí!" Eiji yanked said hog out of his tennis pants.
"¡Fiesta!" the team yelled, beginning to samba dance.
~*
The preceding short was in no way affiliated with the main story, Prince of Tennis, or anything in general, really.
This is your last chance to go to the bathroom or get a snack.
Don't worry, we can wait a little longer.
...
Now, back to the story.
~*
Ryoma moaned softly, a shooting pain going through his entire body. As if carrying from far away, he could hear the low thick murmur of Momo's voice echoing in his ears. Another sting of pain rattled through his nerves, and Ryoma winced.
He knew he shouldn't have started smacking his head so hard when Momo started blathering about his preschool years.
...Oh, don't look so shocked. This is a PG-13 fic.
Ryoma's eyelashes fluttered open, only to reveal Momo's face inches away from his. Ryoma froze. Momo laughed noisily, ruffling Ryoma's black mess of hair.
"Told ya you were gonna hurt yourself, Echizen!" Momo chastised teasingly, waggling a finger at Ryoma. "And I didn't even get to my harrowing experiences at riding my bike for the first time..." he said, tragically and wiping away a fake tear.
Ryoma rubbed his aching forehead, in no real mood for Momo's constant joking. "Madamada..." was his only reply.
He suddenly felt a hand touch his shoulder. Ryoma blinked in surprise, tilting his head up.
Momo's eyes, usually filled with bright joking laugher, were uncharacteristically serious. "...Seriously...Ryoma..." he started, softly. "...Are you alright?"
Ryoma tried to back away, but found that he was already against the wall. He lowered his gaze, letting his bangs cover his eyes.
"...Just fine..." he muttered.
Momo gave Ryoma a hearty slap on the shoulder. "Antisocial as always; you ARE just fine!" He laughed again, a little too loudly.
Ryoma winced at the slap at his shoulder. Damn, but could Momo hit hard even when he wasn't trying to.
"If you don't want to hear my stories, you shouldn't have ran away with me when Tezuka started screaming bloody murder." Momo smirked, crossing his legs and closing his eyes.
Ryoma settled back into his corner, drawing his knees up against his chest and shrugging. "I had to follow you." he stated, simply.
Momo's eyes shot open, blinking. They drifted over to where Ryoma was regarding him over his crossed arms upon his knees.
"...Wh...whazzat supposed to mean, Echizen?" Momo asked, a weak smile twitching on his lips.
Ryoma yawned and stretched his arms. "If I didn't, they would have tortured ME for information to where you'd go." He closed his eyes, relaxing against the wall. "...We ARE partners, you know."
A huge weight seemed to clonk on Momo's head. Ryoma snorted, still hiding his face beneath his bangs and tilting his head to the side slightly.
And...I didn't want to leave you all alone, I guess..., he mentally admitted. Ryoma sighed softly. Suddenly, the trademark Echizen smirk appeared on his lips.
"...And besides...Lord knows you aren't the tightest string on the racket. I shudder to think what would have happened if I hadn't gotten you a hiding place." he finished, leaning his head back on the wall and closing his eyes.
Momo blinked a few times, eyes glazed over slightly as his brain quickly processed this remark.
Ryoma. Ryoma say Momo stupid. Ryoma hurt Momo much by no say kissy kissy.
Ego: wounded. Defensive male mode: on. Testosterone: max limit.
Analysis conclusion: MOMO ANGRY! MOMO SMASH!
"WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!" Momo shouted, thunking his hands onto the ground.
Ryoma opened an eye to glare at Momo. "It MEANS that you were dropped on your head when you were a small infant! Several, SEVERAL TIMES!
"It was only THREE times; THANK YOU VERY MUCH!" Momo retorted, holding up five fingers to emphasize his point.
Ryoma covered his ears, wincing. "You think you could keep your voice BELOW the level you use when you call for mates?"
"Are you calling me a wild animal?!" Momo snarled.
"No; how could I insult THEM more? They already have to share a scientific classification with you!"
"DO NOT!"
"DO TOO!"
"NOT!"
"TOO!"
"NOTNOTNOTNOTNOTNOTNOT..."
"TOOTOOTOOTOOTOOTOOTOO..."
Ryoma and Momo argued on, proving the tired point that they both possessed the personalities of six-year-olds.
"This is you!! Nyehhmehhplehblehhooooo..." Momo contorted his face into odd shapes, sticking one finger in his ear and one up his nose.
"Take that back or I'm gonna tell Tezuka on you!!" Ryoma whined, stomping his foot.
...Four-year-olds.
"Shorty!" Momo initiated the name-calling, crossing his arms.
"Tall freak!" Ryoma rebutted, snorting and turning his head to the side.
"Barney called! He wants YOU to be the president of his fan club!"
"Oh yeah?! Well...well...Richard Simmons called! He wants his hairstyle back!!"
"...That didn't even make any SENSE!"
"DID TOO!"
"Short-pantsed girly boy!!"
"Face-which-scares-small-children-man!"
"...Buh...BIG LITTLE MEANY HEAD!"
Momo cursed his last insult, rapidly running on the fumes of his ego-fueled rage. He couldn't help it; for some reason, it was always extremely hard for Momo to insult Ryoma when the young boy was fully into an argument. Ryoma's cheeks always flushed red, his gold eyes flared, and his lower lip began to tremble...
"...M...Momo-sempai...? ...Why are you looking at me like that?"
Momo continually found himself focusing in on Ryoma's lips, as a matter of fact. Sometimes during practice his pink tongue would slip out to wet them...Momo knew that during practice he would probably be infinitely safer paying attention to the flying yellow balls coming at his head, but Ryoma always had to be so damn distracting.
"...Momo-sempai...are you listening to me...?!"
...Damp locks of dark hair falling into his eyes, chest heaving with exertion, golden eyes glinting with determination...
...And for some reason those eyes were even bigger then normal right now. Prolly cause Ryoma himself looked a little bit bigger then normal...wait, how close was he to Ryoma's face? Oh, sh--
Momo's train of thought was interrupted as Ryoma jammed his elbow into Momo's face, panting. He yelped and pulled away, rubbing his abused nose. Poor nose. He glared at Ryoma, eyes glistening from the pain.
"Whad'ja have to do that for..." Momo whined, voice a bit nasally.
Ryoma gulped and panted, clutching at his tennis uniform over his heart. He pointed a shaking finger at Momo.
"Y...you were trying to kill me!!" he accused, wheezing.
Momo whipped a handkerchief out of his pocket, pressing it to his nose to try and halt the blood-loss. "How was I trying to kill you?! And how could THAT justify breaking my nose?!" he bemoaned.
Ryoma curled up on himself, shaking still. "...You looked like you were trying to eat my face off!!" he growled.
Momo blinked. Along with several others that have met Ryoma since his arrival in Japan, Momo's brain went to puzzling about how anyone could have gotten this dumb over only 12 years. Unbeknownst to Momo but knownst to readers, being the offspring of Nanjiro Echizen would warp any child.
Momo reached out a hand to Ryoma, grinning weakly. "Listen, Ryo--"
Ryoma glanced at Momo's hand as if the older boy was offering him a recently deceased fish. Momo blinked at his hand, then sighing and taking the handkerchief from his nose, wiped the blood off his fingers.
"Ryo. Do you mind if I call you Ryo?"
"Yes."
"Well, anyway. Ryo, I...I wasn't trying to hurt you." Momo sighed as he stuffed his handkerchief back into his pocket.
Ryoma snorted in disbelief. "Well, what were you trying to do, then?!" he glared.
Momo choked. ...How was HE supposed to answer that? More to the point; how was HE supposed to answer that when even HE didn't know?!
Ryoma sniffed indignantly. "Hah. I knew it!..."
Momo gulped. Well, he supposed it would be now would be an opportune time to find out on his own...
"...Trying to dispose of a teammate, ch. I'll make sure to tell Oishi-sempai and Captain Tezuka on you, then we'll see what happens..."
...One chance. One chance to tell--no, show. Show him what he was trying to do...
"Ryoma..." Momo started.
Ryoma paid him no mind. "...Surrender you to Inui. Then we'll see who's the short-pantsed girly boy!..."
Momo twitched. "...RYOMA..." he said again, getting slightly annoyed.
Ryoma was still on his rant. "...Purple spots! And new legs! With neon green plaid blinking stripes!!"
"RYOMA! I was trying to do THIS, YOU LITTLE FREAKING IDIOT!" Momo screamed finally. He grabbed Ryoma by the shoulders, spun him around to face him, and crushed his lips onto his.
"Momo-sem--MMFF!!"
Momo breathed an internal sigh of relief.
Geez. This oughta shut him up., he thought, calmed. ...Wait. ...This is kinda nice...
Momo tentatively deepened the kiss, pulling Ryoma closer.
OH MY GOD, MOMO-SEMPAI'S TRYING TO KILL ME!!, Ryoma's mind shrieked. His knee-jerk reaction was just that; a knee-jerk into a very delicate area on Momo's lower half. Poor...Momo.
Ryoma glared at the crumpled form of Momo, wiping his mouth with his shirtsleeve. "That oughta show you not to try to murder people." he snorted.
Momo felt his brain start whacking itself at his skull, trying to escape with the last shards of sanity it still possessed. He buried his head in his hands, trying to ignore the sheer ow-ness that was shooting through his body.
"...Ryoma...like I *said*...I *wasn't* trying to kill you..." Momo choked out, voice several octaves higher then normal.
Ryoma was readjusting his sleeve. "Then, I'll ask you again--what were you TRYING to do?" he asked, exasperated, as if speaking to a two-year-old.
Momo slammed his fist onto the ground, grinding his teeth. Ryoma regarded him with a calm look. Momo opened his mouth as if to say something, then closed it. Open, close. Open, close. He then sighed and shook his head.
"Never mind, Ryoma, just never mind..."
Suddenly, a beautiful sound was heard.
A sound that shook the very pillars of heaven and made the cherubim strike their harps in exultation.
A sound that; if could possibly be recorded, would bring about eons of paradise throughout the universe.
No, it wasn't the bloody screams of Sakuno as she was forced through a paper shredder; it was the sound of the janitor turning the keys in the door. Too bad, but we can't always get what we want.
As light streamed through the now open door, tears began to stream from Ryoma and Momo's long-dry eyes.
"FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDOM!!" they blissfully shouted.
~*
Down in the student lounge, the rest of the members of the Seigaku tennis club were taking a long-deserved break as Tezuka was trying to wash the pink out of his hair. Fuji was calmly reading some magazines, Taka was munching on some strawberry pocky, reading over Fuji's shoulder, and Kaidou was getting schooled by Inui in 'Barbie's Big Mall Adventure' at the arcade corner. Oishi and Eiji sat next to each other on a couch. Rather, Oishi sat, and Eiji was draped messily across him, chewing bubblegum and lazily doing his English homework. Eiji frowned, and shoved his notebook in Oishi's face. Used to Eiji's bluntness when he was in need of help, Oishi fought back the urge to sweatdrop.
"...Yes, Eiji?" Oishi laughed softly.
Eiji blew a bubble with his gum, rapidly growing it bigger then his head. It popped, covering his face with pink goo.
"Ofpphffshii, I nepphffd phffwee wewbs wherphff 'y' ifpphff da vowbel." he slurred, trying to peel the gum off his face.
"Well, let's see; three words where 'y' is the vowel...'my'...'why'--"
Ryoma and Momo burst into the lounge, panting. They pounded twin fists to the ceiling. The gathered boys looked at them disinterestedly. Eiji peeled the last of the gum off his face, grinning at Ryoma.
"Hey, kiddo, we were wondering where you two w--"
Ryoma pointed a lone finger to the ceiling.
"...WE'RE OUT OF THE CLOSET!" Momo and Ryoma yelled triumphantly.
Ryoma put his hands on his knees, lowering his head and gasping for air. Momo leaned against the door, checking his pulse. Inui calmly checked off Ryoma and Momo's names in a nearby notebook in response to their declaration.
"That makes for all of us. This calls for celebration."
"DAMN IT, INUI!! That was so MY Ruby Red Passion lip gloss!!" Kaidou hissed, pounding the video game control fiercely.
Taka nodded at Inui's remark. "You're right! How about when the Captain gets done, we all go to my restaurant for some celebration?"
Everybody nodded and murmured approval, and began to get up and leave to room to gather their schoolthings from their lockers. Oishi was frowning as he waited for Eiji to sloppily cram his books into his backpack. Eiji stuffed more gumballs into his mouth, hoisting his bag onto his shoulder.
"Whaasswong, Offpphhfshi? By theffphway, whaphhffs the wreckord for the moffpphhst gumbawwlls in your mouffph at one time?"
"256." Oishi shook his head, pressing a bent finger to his lips. "Was it just me, or was this entire plotline written for that one quick joke?"
Eiji started to try and work his jaw around the brightly colored candies in his mouth. "The closet one?"
"Yeah."
"Prob'ly. Where could I get 200 more gumballs?"
"There's a candy store near Taka's restaurant. I'll buy you some."
"Thank youuuuuu, Oishiiiii..."
"You're quite welcome, Eiji."
"..." Chewchewchewchew. "...When's this story gonna en--"
~* Owari.
