Disclaimer: I solemnly swear that I do not own Harry Potter and/or any other characters used in this fic. They are all property of J.K. Rowling.
Add't Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to the song, "Someday You Will be Loved" by Death Cab for Cutie.
A/N; First and probably only het I will write. It is not graphic in anyway :) Enjoy!
I once knew a girl in the years of my youth
I met Hermione in my first year. At first I thought she was just an incessant know-it all. Now don't get me wrong, she was an incessant know-it-all, but she got better as time went on.
I think it was probably Harry and I's influence that caused it. She became more relaxed as time went on. With all of our rule breaking, how could she not?!
Well, around our sixth year was when I noticed it. People kept throwing out hints but I guess I was too distracted to pay any attention to it.
We fought all the time, like all the time. I bet Harry was so annoyed with us by then. Of course, I ignored it. She was just being herself. She loved to argue with me.
I didn't understand at the time, so instead, I went out with Lavender. Now, that probably was not the best decision on my part. Lavender was whiny and squeaky, and oh so annoying. It didn't help that Hermione seemed to hate her as well.
I should have seen it then, but I didn't. People tell me I'm really dense which I don't think is true, but maybe I'm wrong. Yes, I get distracted easily and yes, I don't always pay attention to the important things. But I like to think that I can notice things.
Well, surprise, surprise, Lavender and I didn't last. Won Won and Lav Lav didn't exactly turn out to be the best couple in the world. I still see Lavender on occasion, but not very often anymore.
So, after sixth year we all made the decision not to come back to school. I think Harry just needed something different. He wasn't exactly the same after Dumbledore died. Anyway, that year I spent a lot of time with Hermione. And I started noticing things that I had never seen before.
With eyes like the summer, all beauty and truth.
I remember back to fourth year around the time of the Winter Ball when I accidentally came to the conclusion that she was, in fact, a girl. Okay, so she got really mad at me for that but it was true. I'd never really looked at her like that before. And even in the years after I never did either.
But that 7th year I was with her and Harry constantly. I started seeing things, the way she carried herself, her hair, clothes, eyes, body. All of it. I'd never even thought about it before, but she was beautiful and she was smart.
I've never been with a smart girl before. I guess I was a little intimidated by her intelligence.
She still berated me for my own lack of intelligence and I have to say that I hated it. Maybe at that time I still would rather fight with her instead of love her.
Well, this fighting thing went on for a long time. We trekked with Harry to remote places searching for Voldemort. Day after day, I only saw Harry and Hermione.
One day, Harry pulled me to the side. We were on a mountain road hiking up to the top or god knows what reason when he grabbed me suddenly and pulled me off the path. I thought maybe he'd seen a Death Eater, but I was wrong.
Hermione went on ahead, ignoring our sudden departure. Harry had turned to me and looked me directly in the eye.
"Ron, you need to stop fighting with Hermione," he'd told me. I was taken aback. I knew people didn't like it, but no one had ever actually said it.
"What? I don't, I mean, she--" I'd stuttered, not really having a good answer to the request.
Harry just looked at me then with a kind of pitying expression. I don't know why he pitied me but he was.
"Ron, don't you understand?" he'd asked me.
I didn't know exactly what he was talking about so I shook my head. He'd sighed in exasperation and exhaustion.
"Ron, she likes you."
Needless to say, I was shocked. I know I shouldn't have been but I couldn't help it.
"Sh-she what?" I'd repeated. Harry just shook his head and rolled his eyes at me. I guess I should have been able to tell by then. All that fighting couldn't be for nothing. Harry hadn't replied to my outburst, just walked back to the path to follow Hermione.
After that, I tried being nicer to Hermione. Stupid Harry actually made me realize that I was in fact attracted to her. She was everything I could have wanted, but something was off. I didn't quite know what it was, so I just let it go, forgot about it for the moment.
Eventually she and I got together. I was kind of awkward how it happened. We had been camped out one day at the bottom of a hill and Harry had gone off somewhere.
Hermione was sitting on the ground near the campfire staring at the flickering flames. I sat down beside her on a log. She didn't say anything to me. I was feeling kind of odd as I sat next to her, like I should say something.
"Uh... Nice day," I'd said haltingly. It wasn't really a nice day. Actually clouds had been gathering around us for the past couple hours and were threatening to pour.
She just nodded along with my statement. She must have been really distracted that day. As I said, just then it started to rain. We ran quickly under the make-shift tents we had constructed.
Hermione and I sat huddled together in the dark, moist space watching as the rain came pouring down outside. She sighed and hugged her knees to her and I didn't know what to do. She seemed kind of sad and I knew I should say or do something.
"Hermione?" I'd asked. "Are you okay?" She'd kind of hesitated for a minute, not looking at me.
"There's something I wanted to ask you," she'd replied finally. I had no idea what she could be talking about though I guess I might have known deep down.
"What?" I was a little apprehensive.
She turned to me with her beautiful hazel eyes and her expression was apprehensive. She looked like I felt.
"Do you know how I--I mean, I want to tell you..." She trailed off and I thought I knew what she meant. This was it. I had to admit know that I liked her.
"Hermione, I think I know. I like you." I waited then, hoping she wouldn't reject me, that I had made the right decision. Her eyes brightened as she heard my words.
"You do?" she'd asked hopefully and I nodded. She hugged me then, really tightly. She was squeezing so hard. She must have been incredibly happy.
When she pulled away, I kissed her. It was a soft kiss and her eyes drifted closed. When it was over she opened her eyes and sighed on contentment. I felt happy then, but something twinged deep inside me.
We were together for a while after that. I think everyone was happy. Harry at least didn't have to listen to us fight, or at least not more than usual.
The war started about a year after we left school. Harry had just turned 18 and then we had our induction into the Order of the Phoenix. Hermione and I were still together and everything seemed perfect.
But in the bottom of my heart I knew something was wrong. I felt bad because I did love her; I just wasn't in love with her. One night before we went to bed, I was sitting in Harry and I's old room in Grimmauld place. Hermione came in and sat down beside me.
"You okay, Ron?" she'd asked me softly.
"Yeah," I'd said quietly. I didn't tell her what I was thinking. I didn't say that something was off, that this wasn't working.
We fell asleep that night in the old double bed in that old dusty room in Grimmauld place.
And in the morning I fled.
Left a note and it read,
Someday you will be loved.
I got up really early the next morning and got out of there as fast as I could. I looked back at her perfect sleeping form and sighed. I knew this was for the best. We had never been "meant to be."
I left the house quickly. I had other things to do, people see, lives to save. I went to see Harry. He was holed up in his room at his new flat. He let me in reluctantly. He was never in the mood to talk anymore those days.
"Hey, mate," I'd greeted him cheerfully. He grunted in response as he sat down heavily on the couch and sighed.
"I broke it off with Hermione," I said finally after several moments of silence. He turned to me, his expression shocked.
"What?!" he'd exclaimed. I know it must have come as a huge shock. Everyone thought we would be together forever.
"It's okay," I'd said calmly. I was pretty calm then. "She'll be fine. I'm just not the guy for her."
Harry just stared at me. This was the most emotion I'd seen from him in months.
"You--But it's Hermione!" he said to me. I shrugged.
"Yeah, Hermione. But it just wasn't right."
Harry shook his head in disbelief but said nothing more. I know it was a huge thing to happen, but I just had to do it.
I cannot pretend that I felt any regret.
'Cause each broken heart will eventually mend.
I knew Hermione would be fine. She was a strong girl. I just knew I wasn't right for her.
She hated me for a long time after that, especially since I never really felt bad for doing it. I think she took that as an insult. Our fighting became more intense than it used to be. I tried to stop, but it just didn't work.
I tried to explain to her why I had done it, but she didn't want to listen. I think she thought I was the only one she could ever love, but I knew better. I don't believe there is just one person for everybody.
I think anyone can fall in love with anyone else. I do believe in soul mates, and perhaps Hermione was mine, but she wasn't my true love, and I wasn't hers.
The war continued through the years. Hermione still didn't take kindly to me, but she tolerated me at least. Harry stopped trying to fix anything between us and gave up. It was probably a good idea to give up. Nothing would help.
During the war there were many battles, some I remember better than others. One in particular stands out in my mind.
It was the around springtime and Harry, Hermione, and I were walking around a meadow in northern England. There were violets all around us. Their tiny light purple heads pushed through the monogomy of the green grass to sway slightly in the light breeze that had come up.
Hermione wasn't speaking, just watching me kind of sullenly. I'm surprised she was still upset with me then.
Well, we were alone, not talking when we were ambushed. Harry quickly sent out his Patronus for help but about 6 or 7 Death Eaters were closing in around us. Harry jumped in first, using a curse and sending the nearest one flying away over the grass.
Hermione sent a stunning spell over her shoulder at a tall figure that had been creeping up behind. I almost panicked but managed to keep my head. I ducked as a curse was thrown my head. I accidentally threw myself to hard and fell to the ground.
I heard somebody screaming my name, but I didn't know who it was. A Death Eater was bearing down on me as I groped for my wand. I reached it just in time and hit him with a conjunctivitis curse right in the face.
I know, it wasn't the best spell I could have done, but I was panicking! I rolled out from under him as he howled and groped blindly around. I could see Harry somewhere off to my left shooting curses out of his wand at lightening speed.
I looked around desperately for Hermione but couldn't see her. Order members were appearing now, popping up all over the meadow. More Death Eaters too were coming.
I dodged to the side as a curse came flying at me. I shot a spell at the oncoming Death Eater. I was still looking for Hermione, but I couldn't for the life of me find her. I heard yells and bursts as spells shot everywhere. A few whizzed over my head, singeing my hair.
Finally, I caught sight of Hermione's hair. She was lying motionless on the ground and a dark figure was leaning over her. It was a Death Eater, but he didn't seem to be doing anything to her.
I freaked out and tried to get to her. I was delayed as some stupid Death Eater jumped in front of me. He wouldn't leave and kept trying to curse me. I dodged most of them, but he hit me once with some kind of spell. My legs weren't working quite right, but that made me really mad.
I stunned that idiotic Death Eater and scrambled over him as he fell to the ground. That Death Eater was now on the ground leaning over Hermione. I had no idea what was going on, but I knew I had to get to her.
My legs carried me in other directions, making it incredibly difficult to go in a straight line. No one else had noticed the Death Eater standing over Hermione.
I finally managed to get close to her. I saw the Death Eater reach out and touch her face gingerly. It made no sense to me. Why wasn't he killing her? He had the chance. He looked up at me as I got closer. He didn't have his hood on and I caught a momentary glance of his face.
I was shocked beyond my wildest dreams. It was Blaise Zabini, the dark haired Italian boy who had once been in Slytherin. Why wasn't he killing her?!
I really didn't question it too much; I was too mad and worried to really care. I raised my wand to curse him into oblivion but he Apparated away before my eyes.
I gave it no more thought as I kneeled quickly down by Hermione. Her face was pale and her eyes closed. Her breathing was shallow but she wasn't dead. Crimson blood was running down her side and onto the green grass, staining the earth.
I didn't know any healing, but I knew we had healers close by. I got up to summon one and he came over as soon as he could. I watched as he did the best he could, but she was still hurt pretty badly.
They picked her up and as they walked away she opened her eyes a tiny bit and I saw her looking at me. I stopped walking and she continued to look at me. Then she closed her eyes as they carried her away.
And as the blood that runs red, down the needle and thread,
Someday you will be loved.
I felt horrible then. If only I had paid more attention she might not have been wounded. But something else was bothering me then. Why had Zabini not taken the opportunity and killed her? He probably would have been rewarded by Voldemort beyond his wildest dreams.
For a long time I couldn't figure it out for a long time. It just didn't make any sense.
Hermione was in St. Mungo's for a while after that battle. I went to visit her but she said she didn't want to see me. That hurt. Harry told me later that she was fine. She just didn't want to see me.
I guess I kind of understand. I know that I hurt her, but it was for the best. She'll understand it eventually. I knew that someday she would find someone who was better than me. I was just a little detour on the way in her life. I just wish she would have understood it.
You'll be loved, you'll be loved,
Like you never have known.
And the memories of me will seem more like bad dreams,
Just a series of blurs like I never occurred.
Someday you will be loved.
After a couple months she was released from the hospital. She looked thinner the first time I saw her. She smiled at me in a kind of sad, melancholy way. I wasn't sure what to do.
"Hey, Hermione," I'd greeted her carefully.
"Hi, Ron," she said. She sounded nice enough so I figured it was safe to continue the conversation.
"How are you doing?" I figured it was a good question, seeing as how I hadn't seen her in 3 months. She gave me a slight smile.
"I did a lot of thinking when I was in there, Ron. A lot of thinking."
::Hermione's memories:: All of a sudden I was hit in the stomach with some curse from behind. It ripped through my side and I felt warm blood seeping out from the cut. I tried to get out of there. I knew I wouldn't be able to fight, not like this. I stumbled on the grass and fell to my knees. I collapsed on the ground, clutching at the cut that was drenching my robes in blood. I lay on the ground, hoping to god that a Death Eater wouldn't find me. Perhaps if I played dead they would just go on thinking I was and leave me alone. I could still hear all the yelling and I knew that more people must have arrived. I saw a shadow come over me and I shut my eyes tightly. Nothing happened and I opened them tentatively. A Death Eater was standing over me. He was tall and still had his mask on. Why was he just standing there? I had asked myself. Not that I wanted him to do something, but it was a bit odd to have a Death Eater standing over me in the middle of a battle and not killing me. The Death Eater was just looking down at me through his black mask. My vision went fuzzy then and I drifted in and out of consciousness. One moment of clarity came and I saw that the Death Eater had removed the mask and was staring at me. I recognized the face but couldn't place it at the time. His eyes were a deep brown color, almost matching his even darker hair. He was looking at me with an odd expression on his face. It was like pity and something else. I heard another yell that sounded like Ron's voice but all went black. The blood loss had become too much for me. When I opened my eyes next for a brief second, my eyes fell on Ron. He was staring at me as I was carried away by someone. I thought to myself that this was all his fault then everything went black. The next time I woke up, I was in a blindingly white room. The light was bright as it filtered in through the window in the room. I recognized immediately that I was in St. Mungo's. Harry was sleeping softly beside me in a chair. "Harry?" I asked, waking him up. He jerked awake and let out a joyous cry. "Hermione! Thank god! You're awake!" He had sounded so happy and relieved. "What happened?" I asked him. I wanted to know. I didn't remember very much at the time, it would come back in pieces over the next few months. "You were hit with a curse, one the medi-wizards didn't know how to diagnose, but they've been giving you potions for the past three weeks, and it finally worked!" It came back to me then, the curse slicing through my stomach. I looked up at Harry again and saw the worry in his eyes. "What about Ron?" I asked. Yes, I still felt angry towards him for breaking my heart, but I needed to know if he was alright. "Ron's fine," Harry told me. I felt relieved and angry at the same time. I had loved Ron with all my heart and he had left me a note. A note! He told me that he wasn't right for me. I didn't believe him. He was the only one for me, my true love, and he left me, just like that. He never seemed to care after that. He just went about his business as if nothing had happened. It enraged me to see him acting so normally. I wanted to see some emotion from him. Those many months I spent in the hospital were filled with dreams of him. I refused to see him for fear that I would break down completely. Harry told me repeatedly that he wanted to see me, but I refused.
The Death Eaters came and Harry sent immediately for help. Spells started flying all around me. Ron was off somewhere else. I wasn't really paying attention.
You may feel alone when you're falling asleep, I would lie awake in bed and silently cry as I remembered our times together. I had thought we would be together forever. After we had broken up, he had tried to explain to me, but I wouldn't listen. I didn't want to hear what he had to say. I spent many days thinking to myself. I finally accepted the fact that maybe Ron had been right. Maybe we weren't right for each other. My thoughts often turned to that Death Eater who had stared down at me through his warm brown eyes on that battlefield. I just couldn't place his face. I knew he seemed familiar but it didn't come to me. I wondered for a long time why he had not killed me. He had all the time in the world to do it and yet he didn't. Those thoughts would haunt me for the longest time until I saw him again and I knew. ::End Hermione's thoughts::
Every time tears roll down your cheeks.
"I did a lot of thinking." Hermione was about to tell me something important, I could tell. She didn't seem mad at me anymore. "I've realized that you were right."
That was the first time I had ever heard Hermione admit that I was right. It was like my world had come crashing down around me in that one sentence.
"I was right?" I'd repeated in disbelief. She smiled softly at me and patted my arm.
"Yes. I should have listened to you. We weren't right for each other. I see that now."
It was like a weight had been lifted off my shoulder. She finally understood. I hugged her then and she was stiff for a second before relaxing and hugging me back.
When I moved away she was smiling at me. I knew this would happen. I knew I wasn't right for her, and I knew she would understand.
But I know your heart belongs to someone you've yet to meet.
The war ended about a year after that. Surprisingly, Hermione and I went back to the way we were, still bickering constantly, but it was more of a friendly bickering.
Most of the Death Eaters were either charged, acquitted or killed. A few had switched sides during the war and were now safe. For a long while I wondered what had become of Zabini. I hadn't seen him since that day.
One day I was walking through Diagon Alley to visit Fred and George when I saw him. He was standing coolly, leaning against a pillar and looking completely unconcerned. I felt this pull to go over to him and couldn't stop it.
"Zabini," I called and he looked up at me. He didn't seem shocked or surprised at all. He merely sighed as if he was annoyed at being interrupted from standing and doing nothing.
"Yes, Weasel?" he had drawled at me. I frowned slightly. I still don't like that nickname.
"What are you doing?" I decided to be safe and not ask whether or not he was a Death Eater now or if he had some kind of feelings for Hermione. Those thoughts had plagued me for the longest time.
"What does it look like?" he'd asked sarcastically. He wasn't really being cooperative so I decided just to ask him.
"Are you a Death Eater?" I'd blurted out. He gave me an odd look, like he hadn't expected me to ask that. He was silent for a moment and appeared to be thinking it over.
"No," he'd said finally. Like I had expected him to say yes.
"Do you like Hermione?" I'd asked, just getting it out of the way.
"What?!" he'd exclaimed, clearly surprised. I didn't respond, just shrugged and walked away to let him think about it.
I must have been right though. A few weeks later, Hermione told me that she had met someone new. She gave me a hint that it was the Death Eater who had been there at the battle.
She didn't seem to be upset that he had been one. In fact, something about him being there and not taking his chance gave him more credit in her mind.
Well, it's been a few months since they started going out. She didn't tell everyone right away, probably scared that of what they would think. Eventually though, they told more people and no one seems to really have a problem with it.
Even Harry doesn't really care. I think she must have told him the story of the battle to win his trust.
They invited us all to dinner tonight. I have a sneaking suspicion of what they're going to tell us. I knew this would happen. I told her long ago.
Someday you will be loved.
A/N: Please Review!
