Notes: A sequel of sorts to my fic "Fear," since people actually seemed to
want one. Willow has a lot of explaining to do... Unlike the first one, that
was following Anya's feelings, this one will follow Willow's. And I did decide
to leave it kinda open at the end... I guess this'll sort of be a part two
of three that aren't really parts... Because I plan on writing a final one
thats centered around Willow and Anya actually beginning the relationship...
And not including all this hassle about Kennedy Well, I'm sure it'll include
some Kennedy... Maybe I'll end up making it four not really part parts? Who
knows, I just don't want anyone to kill me! So I'm putting this out since
I can't use my brain at the moment to give you more, and it seemed like an
alright place to stop...
Willow wondered if this could really be happening. Could Anya really be accepting her attraction to her? This was something that, just this morning, she thought she could only have a chance doing with Kennedy. But she'd tried to help Anya, whose woes were still unknown, and ended up kissing her. And the woman definately didn't seem to have minded. And then... And then she gave her a kiss back. Simple, like the one she'd given. Looking intently into her eyes, she could feel Anya's acception. Willow knew she hadn't felt happy like this for a long time. Grinning widely, she pulled Anya to her, and buried her face into her shoulder. She felt the older woman sigh against her, and nearly all her thoughts vanished, and she was only aware of Anya.
But she felt Anya tense up. Oh, God, she was doing something wrong. Should she let her go? Should she wait for Anya to say what she wanted? This was bad... Bad bad...
"Willow!?" The voice was quiet, yet demanding. And coming from behind her. Where Anya was facing. At that point, all realization of what was going on hit her, and she couldn't help but gasp. Her fingers dug into Anya's back, as she tensed up, afraid of turning around. Just as she had thought everything was going to be wonderful, she'd forgotten one small detail... Kennedy.
"Willow, what the hell is going on?" Her voice was angrier now. Willow squeezed her eyes shut, with a tiny bit of hope that if she closed them tight enough, everything would go away. Her fingers dug harder into Anya's back.
"Willow, you have to talk to her. And me. We all need to have a talk. Now come on, you're hurting me..." Anya whispered slightly harshly into her ear. She immediately let go of Anya, and scooted over on the couch, as Kennedy came storming closer. "Come on, Willow! Answer me! Anya? Willow? What the hell is going on?! I come up here to get a drink, and come in to say hi to you before I go back downstairs, and I find you all over her. What the fuck? Come on, answer me!"
Willow's gaze stayed at Kennedy's feet, and she winced. Although she wasn't wanting to hurt Kennedy, she had to if she could have Anya. And she knew she had a much better chance of ever being completely in love with Anya than she did with Kennedy. "You knew. I told you I wasn't in love with you. I never promised you anything," she stated. Clenching her fists in determination, she lifted her gaze to meet Kennedy's eyes. "I'm sorry."
Kennedy narrowed her eyes. "So what? You expect me just to go and forget this happened because you're sorry?" she asked skeptically. "No," Willow said firmly, "I'd rather you forget we happened. Didn't you know that it wasn't going to work? I was lonely, you were lusting... We talked, remember? We agreed it was only a lust thing. Not a dedicated relationship thing. And... and I think we're done with our lust thing. I need more, and I can't get that from you. You're too dominating, always having to be in charge... I can live with that for a little while, but it could never be forever. And now that I might have a better chance, we're through."
"I see. So you used me until you could get her, the one you really wanted?" Anya snorted. "Well, obviously, little non-Slayer. Seems that *I'm* the winner here, and you're the loser. Besides... Who has she known longer? I've known her since she was all over this guy... Which, believe me, kid, was a long time ago. Why don't you go back downstairs with the other not-really-Slayers and practice learning how to not die?"
To say that Kennedy was furious would be an understatement. "You think you can just waltz in here and take my girlfriend?! I've got news for you... I could kick your ass!" she exclaimed.
"And I'd have to kick yours for doing so." The three women turned to see Buffy standing in the entryway. Kennedy gasped. "Why don't you go back downstairs and help the other girls? You've been gone for fifteen minutes. And do not give me that look. At this point I don't care what's going on here, I want you downstairs and training. And seriously, you guys! There's enough fighting for us with evil without you three screaming at each other! What ever's going on, end it now!"
Willow, who had been standing in between the screaming Anya and Kennedy, looked at both girls, then stepped next to Anya, eyeing Kennedy. Kennedy, getting what she meant, flashed a pair of evil eyes at Anya, and snorted, before turning to go back downstairs. After watching the Slayer in training leave, Buffy turned to the other two women. "And next time you want a new girlfriend, Willow... Can you ditch your old one quietly? We could hear you three downstairs..."
Willow wondered if this could really be happening. Could Anya really be accepting her attraction to her? This was something that, just this morning, she thought she could only have a chance doing with Kennedy. But she'd tried to help Anya, whose woes were still unknown, and ended up kissing her. And the woman definately didn't seem to have minded. And then... And then she gave her a kiss back. Simple, like the one she'd given. Looking intently into her eyes, she could feel Anya's acception. Willow knew she hadn't felt happy like this for a long time. Grinning widely, she pulled Anya to her, and buried her face into her shoulder. She felt the older woman sigh against her, and nearly all her thoughts vanished, and she was only aware of Anya.
But she felt Anya tense up. Oh, God, she was doing something wrong. Should she let her go? Should she wait for Anya to say what she wanted? This was bad... Bad bad...
"Willow!?" The voice was quiet, yet demanding. And coming from behind her. Where Anya was facing. At that point, all realization of what was going on hit her, and she couldn't help but gasp. Her fingers dug into Anya's back, as she tensed up, afraid of turning around. Just as she had thought everything was going to be wonderful, she'd forgotten one small detail... Kennedy.
"Willow, what the hell is going on?" Her voice was angrier now. Willow squeezed her eyes shut, with a tiny bit of hope that if she closed them tight enough, everything would go away. Her fingers dug harder into Anya's back.
"Willow, you have to talk to her. And me. We all need to have a talk. Now come on, you're hurting me..." Anya whispered slightly harshly into her ear. She immediately let go of Anya, and scooted over on the couch, as Kennedy came storming closer. "Come on, Willow! Answer me! Anya? Willow? What the hell is going on?! I come up here to get a drink, and come in to say hi to you before I go back downstairs, and I find you all over her. What the fuck? Come on, answer me!"
Willow's gaze stayed at Kennedy's feet, and she winced. Although she wasn't wanting to hurt Kennedy, she had to if she could have Anya. And she knew she had a much better chance of ever being completely in love with Anya than she did with Kennedy. "You knew. I told you I wasn't in love with you. I never promised you anything," she stated. Clenching her fists in determination, she lifted her gaze to meet Kennedy's eyes. "I'm sorry."
Kennedy narrowed her eyes. "So what? You expect me just to go and forget this happened because you're sorry?" she asked skeptically. "No," Willow said firmly, "I'd rather you forget we happened. Didn't you know that it wasn't going to work? I was lonely, you were lusting... We talked, remember? We agreed it was only a lust thing. Not a dedicated relationship thing. And... and I think we're done with our lust thing. I need more, and I can't get that from you. You're too dominating, always having to be in charge... I can live with that for a little while, but it could never be forever. And now that I might have a better chance, we're through."
"I see. So you used me until you could get her, the one you really wanted?" Anya snorted. "Well, obviously, little non-Slayer. Seems that *I'm* the winner here, and you're the loser. Besides... Who has she known longer? I've known her since she was all over this guy... Which, believe me, kid, was a long time ago. Why don't you go back downstairs with the other not-really-Slayers and practice learning how to not die?"
To say that Kennedy was furious would be an understatement. "You think you can just waltz in here and take my girlfriend?! I've got news for you... I could kick your ass!" she exclaimed.
"And I'd have to kick yours for doing so." The three women turned to see Buffy standing in the entryway. Kennedy gasped. "Why don't you go back downstairs and help the other girls? You've been gone for fifteen minutes. And do not give me that look. At this point I don't care what's going on here, I want you downstairs and training. And seriously, you guys! There's enough fighting for us with evil without you three screaming at each other! What ever's going on, end it now!"
Willow, who had been standing in between the screaming Anya and Kennedy, looked at both girls, then stepped next to Anya, eyeing Kennedy. Kennedy, getting what she meant, flashed a pair of evil eyes at Anya, and snorted, before turning to go back downstairs. After watching the Slayer in training leave, Buffy turned to the other two women. "And next time you want a new girlfriend, Willow... Can you ditch your old one quietly? We could hear you three downstairs..."
