Animegirl426: Yeah...I'm gonna be on a Voltron high for the next few days...I wrote this instead of sleeping (actually I fell asleep while writing this), spent the day editing it, and worrying how it would turn out since this is my first attempt at a songfic.
So this is set pretty much anytime between seasons 1-6 (though I do not consider evil Shiro my Shiro!) Italics is Shiro, Bold is Adam, and italicized bold is both.
If you want to listen to the song, it's the title of the fic and it's from Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure.
Sadly, I do not own Voltron or Tangled.
Here we go!
Shiro gave a small smile as he saw the sight in front of him; the team going about their usual arguments; something about Lance and Keith and then the argument spiked, about what or how is what Shiro never figured out.
The male watched as Lance and Keith continued to bicker, with Pidge and Hunk trying to talk over them to calm them only to get into the argument.
"They really are just like children." Allura sighed, the princess stepping back as Coran instead tried to break up the fight, and failing.
Shiro gave a small laugh, "Reminds me of when I use to fight with him." he spoke, eyes widening and clamping his mouth shut when he heard the words spill out of his mouth, almost in a longing way.
"Him? You mean you've fought with Keith like this before?" The Altean questioned, confused by Shiro's tone of voice and who exactly "him" was.
"U-uh, yeah..." Shiro quickly covered up, breathing heavily through his nose. "I need some peace and quiet, if you'll excuse me Princess." The Black Paladin quickly left the room before he could be questioned further, the memories of similar fights racing through his head; who would take what position in the simulator, what dinner would be on their special nights...and just who loved who more.
Adam was everything to the Black Paladin; what started as pining eventually turned to mutual love, both Shiro and his partner flourishing in each other's presence in every second they spent together and apart.
But as years passed by, everything became...tense. With the discovery of his disease, Shiro and Adam's fights grew from playful little things to serious conflicts about what the two would do in the future; Adam wanted to settle down, spend Shiro's last few years as just the two of them...
But Shiro wanted to stay with the stars, at least once more before it was all over, something Adam desperately disagreed with and led to the final straw...
"Takahashi, how important am I to you?"
"I won't go through this again."
"If you decide to go, don't expect me to be here when you get back."
The words kept haunting Shiro; it haunted him during the mission to Kerberos, it haunted him during his imprisonment, it haunted him every day. The fact that the last thing he ever did with Adam...was fight.
When I let him walk away
What if I had spoken 'stay'?
Part of Shiro didn't regret going on the mission, but the other part of him kept regretting not stopping Adam from leaving. Shiro had to admit that he wanted Adam to stay, wanted to still be with him when he got back from the mission. Now, he was pretty sure Adam would have moved on, and who could blame him?
Why did I go on concealing
The confusion I was feeling?
Shiro thought over and over about the choice, the confusion of what choice was right made him irritable, and he blamed himself for pushing that irritation onto the man he loved, pushing tension on a already thin line. Their last fight was enough to break that line.
Now I'll never get to say
All the things I should have said...
Now there's no more love, just echos of
A life we should have led...
They had talked about it before; a small ceremony with their family and closest friends, then they would buy a small house in a peaceful area where it would just be the two of them until they were ready for more...days filled with nothing but love and nights bursting with passion...now none of that was possible.
If I could take that moment back...
If he were here beside me still...
Shiro could almost see it; Adam right in next to him, nuzzling into Shiro's frame as his gentle hands intertwined with the Paladin's own, whispering words of love and promises to stay together. It brought little comfort to what the Black Paladin wished was real, but it gave some closure to the pain.
I'd let him see inside my heart
Now he never will...
"That's all for today's class, remember you all have simulation training at 0-600 hours tomorrow." Adam told his class, gathering his things in his bag before leaving the classroom and making his way to his room...his single room.
Students may not have said it out loud, but everyone in the Garrison knew that today was; it was the day that the crew of Mission Kerberos was declared dead. And although Adam had assured he was fine, his stoic voice and hard gaze showed just how hard he was trying to keep his emotions in check.
Adam pushed open the door, slamming it shut and heading straight for the bedroom. Awards with Takashi's name on them shining on the bookshelf as Adam passed the couch, heading into the bedroom and collapsing on the comforter, his eyes gazing at the photo on the bedside; Shiro sitting down and laughing as Adam embraced him from behind, huge smiles on both faces and eyes filled with happiness and love. Taking the photo into his hands, the male delicately traced the frame as tears made their way down his face.
Maybe if I gave him time
Maybe if I didn't go...
There wasn't a minute of the day when Adam wouldn't be regretting what he did; Takashi had needed love and support during a critical time of his life and Adam chose to up and leave him. Once that news of the crew hit, part of Adam died inside, spending days in bed hating himself for letting this happen. Maybe if he had talked with Shiro just a little more, they would've found a solution.
Maybe things somehow would change
But now I guess we'll never know...
There remained a part of him that wanted to turn back the clock; wanted to fix the mistakes he made and give his lover all the love and happiness he could have given before he got into that rocket. But he couldn't...and that hurt more than anything...
If I could take that moment back...
If I could turn back time, I would...
Gazes of love and happiness, words overflowing with pride, hands spreading warmth and comfort between the two...none of it would ever happen again. Both men despised the part of them that just let the situation play out as it did, breaking everything that they accumulated together down in seconds and remembering it shook them down to their cores.
If we could make a brand new start
How I wish we could...
If it had played out differently, maybe then the heartbreak wouldn't be as brutal; they could've started again. Shiro spent every moment of the mission wanting to patch things up, Adam spent every single second trying to figure out a way to apologize to Shiro when he would come back and ask if they would try again...but everything was gone...there were no more chances to fix what was broken.
Wish I could take it back
But now it's gone for good...
Shiro sighed and rubbed his watering eyes, lying down and staring at the ceiling in longing and regret. "...Adam...Aishiteru..." Shiro closed his eyes as he drifted off, his dreams centering around Adam and what could have been.
Wish I had that moment back...
Adam wiped his tear-stained face as he held the picture frame close, giving a pain-filled, longing smile at the photo. The male gently kissed the photo before settling into dreams of his memories with the one he loved "Takashi...I love you..."
Animegirl426: My heart breaks every time I write stuff like this! Did you guys like it?
Leave comments and share!
Until Next Time!
