"Everybody hates me, Emmett."
I turned to him in great disbelief as he lay on the couch, his back to me, curled up miserably.
"No, Edward, everybody doesn't hate you."
"I'm sure they do!" He burst out, sniffing miserably.
What the Hell? I shrugged and just went right ahead and ignored him. I was getting quite good at that.
"I don't have any friends." He moaned.
Oh, a porn movie! At 3 in the afternoon? Oh, well. Could be interesting.
"Everybody thinks I'm a gay loser."
Alice was listening to her stupid Cindy Lauper music, upstairs. The volume was turned way too loud, I couldn't hear my porn movie anymore. I raised the volume on the TV to try to be able to hear something. I could picture Alice dancing all over her room, jumping all over in tiny pixie moves, her head shaking like crazy, singing out loud until Jasper would jump out the window. It had already happened before.
"I hate my life."
At least, Rosalie was out and I wouldn't be hearing her complain about how it's stupid of me to still watch porn movies because I get to have sex with her, and sex with her was some kind of privilege or something. That was always kind of boring.
"I hate you, you're not even listening to me."
Awh, poor loser, leave me alone.
"I can hear your thoughts, you idiot." He added.
"Oh, well, why don't you go talk to Alice? I'm sure she'd love that." I advised him. Let alone Jasper, who would then be able to enjoy a break from the Cindy Lauper hysteria.
"I'm too weak to go upstairs."
"Then let her come to you!" I suggested. "ALICE COME HERE RIGHT THIS INSTANT AND TURN THE FREAKING MUSIC DOWN!"
"WHY?" She answered.
"BECAUSE I'M GOING TO KILL EDWARD!"
She shut down her stereo in less than and second and screamed back, running down the stairs :
"NO! DON'T KILL EDDIE!"
She smacked me behind the head and sat on Edward's stomach as he just kept on laying on the couch.
"Eddie, what's wrong? Come on, talk to me."
"I hate my life." He moaned.
"Oh... poor baby... hush, now, everything's going to be all right..." She said as she patted his head kindly. I let out an exasperated sigh and rushed upstairs.
Jasper the disco man was sitting on his bed, reading a book, dressed in an amazing John Travolta outfit Alice had given him for his birthday. So sweet, right?
"Hey, couldn't you like... cheer him up, emotionally?"
"You know many other ways to be cheered up?" He asked me, skeptical.
Jasper and his stupid sarcasm. Hate it.
"Why would I cheer him up, anyways? It made you lose our bet! And I just won your car!" He shouted happily.
"WHAT?!" I roared.
Oh, right. I couldn't watch porn movies for 24 hours. Oh, shit...
"I hate you."
"I love you too, man." He answered.
