Erin Lindsay stepped out of district 21. It's been a grueling month of work for her; the intelligence team was trying to figure out whom the arsonist was that blew up a building that contained all the members of firehouse 51. Her boyfriend, Kelly Severide, was among the people inside. His best friend, roommate and paramedic on the scene, Leslie Shay was killed in the blast. It's been a difficult month for Kelly, he had been very short fused and emotional since the accident. It's been taking a toll on their relationship. Erin tried to do what she could for him, but it wasn't enough to make him feel better. She knew he needed time to heal. The stress of the situation was really starting to get to her.
As Erin walked toward her car, she noticed her partner, Jay Halstead leaning against his car two parking spots over, watching her.
"Hey you wanna talk? I can hear you thinking from over here," Halstead said sarcastically. Erin rolled her eyes and walked toward Jay's car, and joined him leaning on the hood of the black car. Her and Jay had an interesting history. There always was a flirtation between them, but that ended after she started dating Severide. They still were friends, but since the explosion she really had neglected their friendship, and she felt awful about it. Outside of working together, they almost never saw each other. Erin spent every second she could with Kelly, which ended up being every other night after work, when he wasn't on shift. She hoped that he would let her in so that she could help him find some sort of acceptance after losing his friend. Jay understood why Erin had to put her personal life on hold.
"Listen Erin, I know things have been kind of strained between us since Shay died and I understand why. But if you need someone to talk to, I'm your partner, and I'm here for you. Always." Jay said genuinely.
Erin gave him a smile. "Thanks partner. I'm sorry about the way things have been recently, it's just—"
Jay cut her off before she could finish. "You don't have to apologize. I already told you I understand. I hope the fireman is doing better."
And just like that, Erin spilled everything to Jay. "He's been a mess for the last month, Jay, and I don't know what to do to help him at this point. He won't let me in the way he used to in the past. All he ever does when he's not on shift is mope around and drink."
Erin could feel the tears burning in her eyes. She tried to hide them from Jay by looking away, but he saw them, and he knew it wasn't good. He put his arm around his partner and one of his friends (he wished it was more), reassuringly.
"Come on now. Everything's gonna be just fine. You have to believe that. You're a fighter, Erin Lindsay, and I know you're gonna fight through this one too. Do what's best for yourself." Erin looked into his blue eyes and realized how much she missed having him around, as a friend to talk to. He always knew what to say.
"Yeah..well um..I'm gonna go now. Thanks for listening," Erin stood up and started walking toward her car, "Also, sorry for dumping all of my girl problems on you in the district parking lot," She said half jokingly.
"Yeah I would of preferred talking over a beer, Lindsay," he said with a wink.
"Tomorrow night after shift. It's on me, Halstead." Erin gave him a reassuring smile before getting in her car and driving away.
Erin couldn't stop thinking on the way to Kelly's. Jay's words kept ringing in her head, and hoped she could do what he said. She had to figure out what was best for her when she saw Kelly tonight after he got off of his shift.
Erin parked the car in front of Severide's condo, and tried to clear her head before she walked into the home. Erin took out the key he had given her after Shay died, and went to unlock the door. The smell of alcohol and rotting garbage filled the apartment. Surprised, Erin found her boyfriend lying on the couch, sleeping, with an empty bottle of whiskey on the floor next to him. On the table was a half eaten pizza that she bought two days earlier. The trashcan overflowed in the kitchen.
"Typical." Erin said angrily, while picking up the bottle and pizza, and started to clean the mess of a condo that she had just been in two nights before.
He jumped up at the sound of her voice. Kelly Severide sat up and looked at Erin, dazed and confused.
"What time is it?" He asked while disoriented. His head throbbed from the hangover he was now nursing.
"8:30. Why the hell weren't you on shift today?" Erin snapped at him.
"I…I wasn't up to going." Kelly responded.
"Oh right. But you were up to sitting here and throwing yourself a pity party by drinking until you passed out and letting your house stink of garbage. Kelly, you can't keep doing this. Leslie wouldn't want this for you."
Kelly cringed at the sound of her name. "Erin, please don't go there."
"I'm going there, Kelly! You can't keep doing this to yourself! It hurts to see you like this, and I don't know what to do next! I'm putting every second of my life on hold to try to help you and it seems like that you don't even want me anymore!" Erin was shouting now. Kelly looked at her dumbfounded.
He tried to collect himself and say something. "Erin, baby, I'm sorry, okay? I'm really really sorry. I've been a mess and a terrible boyfriend to you. You've been trying to help me and I don't deserve having a girl like you. You don't deserve to be treated like this."
"You're right. I've tried to be understanding and supportive of you in your time of need, but you're not accepting my support. I think it's best if I leave. I think we can both use some space and time to think about ourselves. Maybe down the road, we can find the place that we used to be in." Erin explained to Kelly honestly. Kelly nodded and couldn't say anything.
Erin headed toward the door. She felt the tears burning in her eyes again but held them in. When she made it to her car she sat in the driver's seat, and drove home. She walked into her apartment and felt her knees give out from underneath her. She finally let herself fall into the emotional tornado that she was trying to block out for the last month.
