Chapter One

Avon wondered why perverse logic was the only kind that seemed to rule his life. It wasn't the usual reaction to the unexpected appearance of a woman who wanted him dead, but in Avon's life, normal would be the exception.

"Jenna."

"You don't seem surprised to see me." She stood in the middle of Borel Reve's office as if this were the most natural place for her to be.

"You're the last person I would expect to be meeting. Therefore, it was inevitable that you would be here. Surprise would seem anticlimactic somehow. Are you here to kill me?"

"Don't tempt me." Jenna had many purposes for being here; seeing Avon die a slow painful death being the main one. Of course, she wasn't about to tell the people in this room, most of whom were or had once been her friends.

Argus was watching her warily, not wanting to intrude but prepared to step in at any time. His hand lightly touched his holster. Reya was an alert presence next to him. They were coiled springs ready to be released at the first sign of danger and Jenna had no doubts that they would be on her before her gun had cleared her holster.

The young General Reve - who no longer looked that young - sat quietly behind his desk. He seemed like an intruder even though this was his office.

Avon said, "I wouldn't expect anything less but don't expect it to be easy. I'm not as disabled as the last time we met."

Jenna's eyes flashed with momentary anger as she remembered how Avon had tricked her. She had misjudged how dangerous he was even with an injury. "You weren't that disabled the last time."

Avon's lips stretched in a thin, chilling smile.

Argus's hand inched closer to the grip of his pistol as Jenna continued, "I'm not here to kill you." She said dismissively, "You're not that important."

Avon said, "That wasn't the impression you gave during our last encounter."

"Don't get me wrong. Nothing would give me greater pleasure than killing you myself."

Avon said, "Honesty is refreshing." A brief sarcastic smile touched his lips. "Of course, you knew I wouldn't believe you if you said anything less."

Everyone seemed to be holding their breaths.

Bastard. "I've had a lot of time to think."

Avon said cynically, "You've decided to have someone else kill me while you have the pleasure of watching?"

Jenna's eyes were like flint. "What an interesting idea." You will find out soon enough what I have planned for you. But for now, she had to be conciliatory and be convincing about it. "One day, I will. I promise you that. But for now, I have more important things to do. Blake deserves more than just your death."

The name was like an accusation and Avon's stomach gave a warning twist of pain. His jaw tightened but his face revealed nothing. His voice was harsh. "What are you doing here, Jenna?"

"What Blake wanted was to build an army. That's what I'm doing here, fulfilling his dream."

Borel had stayed on the sidelines until now. "It's true. Jenna has been building a rebel base but now she's helping us with the Shade problem."

Jenna's chest was still tight with the guilt that seemed to have settled there permanently since her last visit to Olean Rane. He was still in a coma, his breathing so faint she had to put a reflective surface to his pale lips to reassure herself that he was still alive. "Not that it did much good. They're even more powerful now."

"Through no fault of yours. They seem to know our every move before we make it."

Avon eyed Jenna suspiciously. There had been a flicker of guilt in her eyes that had not escaped him. Ghosts haunted them both. "And when you're finished?"

She said with icy promise. "Then I'll kill you."

Unexpectedly Avon smiled. It was a cold thing that sent shivers down Jenna's spine. "It's good to know where we all stand."

Argus eyes contained a query. "Avon?"

"It's obvious we need to work together, since you insist on committing our efforts here."

"Are you saying that you trust Jenna enough to work with her?"

"Did I say I trusted her? Or that I would be the one to work with her?"

Argus said to Jenna, "It looks like I'll be working with you."

Jenna had a pang of regret. She still considered Argus a friend and she wished that she didn't have to use him in order to get to Avon. "I look forward to that."

Argus said, "I had hoped things would be different by now."

"So did I."

"There are many things you don't understand, Jenna."

"Save your breath, Argus. I understand all that I need to understand."

Argus sighed. "Alright. General, why don't you tell us the situation. Your details were sketchy."

The young general seemed much older, his faced lined with worry and shoulders tense with the weight of too many burdens. "About six months ago, we noticed a rapid rise of addiction to Shade among our young people. By the time it came to my attention, it had already reached epidemic proportions."

Avon's lack of trust in the human race in general suggested some unpleasant possibilities. "The speed is suspicious."

"That's what we thought. We tried to find out who was behind it, but every time we thought we were getting close, they disappeared and reappeared somewhere else."

Avon folded his arms behind him as he absorbed this information. "As you said, they seem to know your every move." He said significantly," Before you make it. That's why you contacted us?"

Argus asked Borel, "You think you have a spy in your midst?"

"Or a traitor," said Avon.

Borel nodded. "Yes. That's what we're afraid of."

Avon said, "Then no one can be trusted. Not even the two of you."

Jenna said defensively, "Wait just a minute…if this is an opportunity to get back at me…"

Avon said with the detached rationality of a machine, "There is nothing personal in being objective."

Jenna thought cynically, Is that what you told yourself when you killed Blake? That it was nothing personal? She reminded herself that now was not the time. My time will come, and so will yours, Avon. "These people are my friends but I wouldn't expect you to know what that means," she said with a sneer.

"Jenna." Reya stepped forward, her tone calm and reasonable. "Avon's right, if we are to help find the infiltrator or the traitor, we have to be objective. As a security expert, I would never rule out any possibilities, no matter how improbable they may be. That includes investigating friends or family members. You may not be involved, but it's clear that someone inside is. Can you certain of everyone in your organization?"

Jenna didn't like that they might be investigating her, considering she was the culprit, but she had no choice. If she didn't cooperate, they would cut her out and that would mean that she would never have access to Avon. "You have a point." She hesitated. "There's something else…" Guilt ate at her. "…it's about Olean Rane."

**********

On their way, Jenna told them about Rane and Borel answered questions about the spread of Shade to the general population.

Argus said, "It doesn't sound good. Hopefully we can help. What is this Shade poison? Is it different from the normal drug?"

Jenna felt ill at being the 'expert' on Shade. "It's a deadly form of it."

Avon said, "The normal version is deadly enough."

"Well, this is even more. The effects are intensified and there is no cure."

Avon cocked his head as comprehension dawned. "They're using it as a weapon?"

Jenna said, "Yes. That's why they infected Rane. To force him to cooperate and to stop him from fighting them."

They arrived at Olean Rane's residence and went inside. It was heavy with the stench of impending death. In the dimly lit room, dark shadows watched over his still form, like spectres ready to whisk him away at his last breath. It was quiet except for the soft tearless sobs from a woman who had cried herself dry.

The small group entered on soft feet, not wishing to disturb a man who was already beyond being disturbed. Reya and Borel approached respectfully. This man had been their father's right hand. Even his enemies respected him. His death would mean the passing of an era.

Borel asked gently, "How is he, Lelea?"

The innkeeper raised hopeless eyes and seemed to notice them all for the first time. "Have you brought help?"

Borel said, "Yes, we've brought help."

Jenna said, "Yes, these are…people who might be able to help. They have a computer called, ORAC that might be able to find a cure for the poison."

Avon and Argus looked sharply at each other.

Argus whispered, "General, perhaps we should have a talk. In private."

Lelea was about to ask them what the problem was when Argus said, "Reya, why don't you stay with Lelea while we discuss some things with the General?"

Reya nodded and placed a comforting hand on Lelea's shoulder. "Why don't you tell me what happened?"

**********

Outside the room, Borel asked, "Is there a problem?"

Avon and Argus looked at each other again. Avon said, "I'm afraid there is."

Argus grimaced. "ORAC was damaged. We haven't been able to fix it yet."

Jenna's heart sank. She turned to Avon and said angrily, "I thought you could fix anything?"

Avon did not react to her accusation. "Not without the required parts."

All of her hopes had been dashed as Jenna realized that she had killed her friend. "I…" Grief and guilt overwhelmed her. She swayed on her feet. Argus grabbed her, put his arms around her shoulders and guided her into the chair that Borel had quickly brought over.

For the first time since finding out Rane had been poisoned, tears welled up in Jenna's eyes. "I…isn't there anything you can do for him?"

Avon said, "There might be something."

Jenna looked hopefully up at him, all thoughts of revenge forgotten. "If you can help him…"

"Nothing will change."

Jenna stared hard at him. "What can you do? You don't have ORAC anymore."

"ORAC is a tool. Even on Fosforon, it only followed directions and compared test samples in order to find the anomalies. It was Dr. Bellfriar who found the cure."

"Unless you have a Bellfriar up your sleeve…"

"I have some knowledge in this area."

Jenna said sceptically, "I thought medicine wasn't your specialty?"

"It's not but I had reason to familiarize myself with the field of antidote research when I was searching for a cure for Pylene-50."

Jenna thought quickly. If Avon could save Rane, then she had to hold off on her plans for revenge. She couldn't let go of her need to kill Avon, but she might be willing to make it less painful. If he could do this. She said, "I might be able to help. I have leads that are close to giving me the location of their lab on Athol. "

"If I could gain access to their computers and synthesis equipment…"

Jenna thought, Then you will be here on my ground. "Leave it to me."

"You want me to trust you?" Avon asked cynically.

Jenna stared at him. "I want you to believe that I would do anything to save a friend."

**********

Later that day, Argus and Avon sat on the flight deck, discussing the encounter with Jenna.

Avon held a cup of water in both hands, studying Argus's reflection on its surface. "What do you think?"

Argus had gulped down his thirstily and was pouring himself another one. "You don't trust her, do you?"

"Trust is only dangerous if you have to rely on it."

"So you trust her, but only as far as you can throw her. Which isn't very far right now."

Avon scowled. "Thank you for reminding me of that."

Argus grinned lightly and then he sighed. "I want to believe her."

"But you don't?"

"I can't. Not after everything she said."

A glimmer of a smile crossed Avon's face. "There might be hope for you after all."

"I'm serious, Avon. I don't feel comfortable having you work with her. Unless you have protection."

"Which you will provide." Avon drank from his cup, relishing the liquid as it rushed down his throat, quenching his thirst. It was a simple joy that he had never appreciated until it had been taken away from him.

"I'll arrange for around the clock protection while you're on the planet."

**********

Sester stretched cramped limbs and asked, "Computer, how much longer to Athol Prime?" There was no point in asking, the ship wouldn't move faster on the 'fuel' of impatient questions, but it was the kind of useless act that made helpless inactivity slightly more bearable. At least that was his assessment of why other people did it.

"Far too long," replied a teasing female voice that brushed along his spine like a soft caress. It came from behind his flight seat.

Sester swung around in surprise. "Kirsten! How did you get onboard?"

There was a twinkle of amusement in her eyes. "Aren't you happy to see me?" She bent down and kissed him, swallowing up his answer in hungry desire. He pulled her down onto his lap.

"What are you doing?", another female voice said disapprovingly.

With effort, Sester pulled himself away from Kirsten's embrace and looked up in shock. "Reya?" Why is she wearing a nightgown? It was a revealing number that showed off her lithe body. He remembered this form very well. Reya put a strong hand on Kirsten's shoulder. "Get off. It's my turn."

Sester's eyes widened. This has to be a dream. He wasn't ready to wake up yet.

Kirsten turned to face Reya and deliberately slid her hands slowly and sensually down his body. Sester suddenly realized that he was naked and he didn't remember how it had happened. Without the concealing cover of clothes, his rising interest was becoming embarrassingly obvious. "Ladies, why don't we discuss this?"

Reya said dryly, "I don't think talking is what your body has in mind." She ran teasing fingers lightly up his inner thigh, he arched back against the seat and bit back a groaning sigh. There was no question that this was a dream but…

The computer chirped for his attention.

Sester woke up with a start and looked around in momentary confusion. His pulse was still racing from the touch of the phantom fingers and other parts of his anatomy were poised for something more enjoyable than answering to computer demands.

He said with irritation, "What is it computer?"

"Pilot intervention is required. The ship is approaching a meteor storm. Scale five. Intensity nineteen."

Sester bolted upright and checked various readouts. "This ship can't stand more than scale three?"

"Affirmative."

Sester groaned. "How much longer will it take if we go around it and increase to maximum speed?"

"Recalculating." There was a pause. "An additional 47 hours but maximum speed is not recommended. Energy banks will be reduced to emergency levels."

That meant he wouldn't arrive at Athol for three more days. Going through the storm was out of the question. There was too much of a danger that the ship would break up. Then he wouldn't be able to help anyone.

His fingers ran along the edge of the panel. From his master's warning, he had to get to Athol as soon as possible.

"Computer, plot a new course around the storm. Maximum speed."

"It is not recommended…"

"I know but do it anyway. Sester override command authorization, Delta Epsilon Delta Three Nine Two."

The hull shivered as the engines strained to obey his command. The stars became a blur. Sester hoped he would be in time to help.

But who would help him with Kirsten and Reya? The master had warned him to behave himself and he intended to. Though from the state of his dreams, that might be easier promised than achieved. It was a good thing he had this storm to worry about; he didn't trust himself going back to sleep again. Or rather, he didn't trust the Kirsten and Reya of his dreams.

Chapter Two

"Jenna's back?" Vila asked again in astonishment as Avon stepped off the teleport platform and unclasped his bracelet.

Avon said expressionlessly, "You're repeating yourself."

"I know but…Jenna's back?" Vila came around the controls and eyed him from head to toe, looking for telltale signs of damage. "Is she…still alive?"

"If you mean did I kill her, the answer is no." Avon put the bracelet back on the tray and headed out.

Vila followed, still reeling from the shock of the news that Jenna, their once and never-again crewmate, had been on the same planet with Avon and both had survived the encounter. "Couldn't get to a gun fast enough or Argus stopped you?"

"Neither. We've agreed to work together."

Vila did a double take. "You did? Are you crazy? She wanted to kill you the last time."

"I remember." Avon continued walking and Vila ran to catch up.

"Don't tell me she's had a change of heart."

Avon turned and a smile lit up his eyes. "Don't worry. She still wants to kill me."

"That's not funny, Avon."

"I never said it was."

"But you're smiling."

Avon continued walking. "It's an expression of irony."

"I don't care if it's irony, agony or acrimony. You shouldn't be working with her."

"That makes no rational sense," said Avon as he paused at the door to his lab.

"Well, neither does working with a woman who wants to kill you. I have a bad feeling about this, Avon."

"It would be a surprise if you didn't. Now if you'll excuse me." He opened the door and hesitated before going inside. "Jenna has a vested interest in keeping me alive."

"She does?" Vila asked doubtfully.

"She needs me to find the antidote to the Shade poison."

"You mean, you're safe as long as you're useful to her?"

"Exactly." Avon entered and the automated sensors gradually turned on the light.

"Well, I still don't like it."

"You don't have to." He sat down at the computer terminal to check on the simulation program he had developed to test Shade antidotes. "Argus is arranging for a security detail while I'm down on the planet."

"I suppose that's alright."

"Now that we have your approval, I have work to do." He began fine-tuning the program.

Vila had a troubled expression on his face. "I wish it didn't have to be like this. We used to be friends." Avon appeared to be too absorbed to be listening. "I know you don't want to admit it but we went through a lot together. We cared about each other. We need each other. It shouldn't be like this."

Avon's fingers slowed and then stopped, poised over the keys. He said in a quiet voice, "I killed Blake. She will never let go of her need for vengeance. I…," his throat tightened, "don't blame her."

Vila stared at him in surprise, for once at a loss for words. The lab was quiet except for the faint humming of machines that neither noticed. Vila said hesitantly, "You've…never wanted to talk about it before."

"I still don't," said Avon as he began pressing on the keys again. As quickly as his mood for sharing something personal had come, it had almost passed.

Vila said, "Gauda Prime was a mistake."

"A fatal one."

"You can't keep blaming yourself, Avon."

"Can't I?"

"Then you can blame me too. I was just as responsible as you were. I never tried to stop you. None of us did. I just stood there. At least you tried to find out if he'd betrayed us. Not that it did much good. Why wouldn't he answer your questions, Avon?" That was something Vila had never understood. "Was he even listening? I know he used to do that to you but it was stupid to do it then. Didn't he see that? When Tarrant said that Blake betrayed us…I don't know what I was thinking. I was afraid, Avon. I couldn't believe that he would be a bounty hunter. But…"

Avon had stopped again. There was a heavy pain that he had never been able to rid himself of. Not since the day he stood over Blake's body in shock at what he had done. Some regrets could be minimized; the killing of a friend, no matter how mistaken, was not one of those that his rational mind could.

Blake's friendship had always been a burden, but that day, it had become an indictment. His voice was subdued. "You thought he betrayed us."

Like Avon, Vila had avoided thinking about the painful events of that day but now that he had started talking about it, all of the unanswered questions and thoughts came tumbling out. "He wouldn't answer your questions, Avon. He used to do that when he knew we wouldn't like what he was planning. He wouldn't tell you that he didn't betray us. We didn't go there to hurt anyone, we were looking for Blake, but we saw his people try to kill Tarrant and the others at the base treated us like the enemy."

The memories came one after each other, like a torrent of visions. The memories came one after each other, like a torrent of visions, each vividly clear, burned into Vila's memory.

It was almost as if it were happening again. The fear and danger as they ran through the base looking for Blake. "When the bounty hunter recognized you and tried to shoot you, and you took his rifle, we thought we had to get to Blake and get out quick. I mean with a place full of bounty hunters after our heads, it wasn't safe for us anymore. But you had to find Blake, you wouldn't give up."

Then the shock and pain at the image of the man who was almost a stranger, telling them that he was behind their icy reception. "Then we saw him and he said that it was his base and he'd arranged it all. And that he'd been waiting for us. But those people at the base were trying to kill us. What kind of arranging was that? What was he doing?"

Vila remembered when they found Tarrant. They had all gathered around him, glad to see that he was still alive. And for the first time, even Avon had admitted it. They were a small group banded together against those who would harm them at the base. It was as Dorian had said of them. They cared about each other, they belonged to each other, and they stood together against all who would harm them. What had Dorian called them? They were a gestalt. And in the end, they had stood together against Blake when they thought he had sold them.

Vila remembered how hurt Avon sounded when he thought that Blake had betrayed them. The look of pain on his face had surprised him. Even after the people at the base had tried to kill them and Tarrant told them that Blake had sold them, Avon had not wanted to believe. Not until Blake told them that he was behind it all.

"And he brought that woman with him. She had her gun on us the whole time. On you. Why didn't he tell her to put her gun away? We all did and you pointed your gun away from him. Why did he keep treating us like the enemy? And why wouldn't he tell us that he hadn't sold us?"

Avon breathed through clenched teeth as his stomach churned. Blake was always an arrogant fool. As was I. His lungs strained to keep up with the increased stress. The memories of that day were at the corner of his consciousness, threatening to flood his mind. He couldn't let them overwhelm him.

Avon stuck a hand into his pocket and brought out one of the medicinal patches that Cally had provided. He slapped it to the side of his neck as Vila watched anxiously.

Avon's voice became quieter as the drugs spread through his body, taking away the pain and feelings of panic. Vila could barely hear him. "It doesn't matter, Vila. In the end, I was the one who killed him."

"Then I did too. I let you shoot him and didn't try to stop you. I think…I'm not sure what I was thinking…" Vila didn't want to look too carefully at what he had been thinking that day. The man he had liked and admired but had increasingly lost faith in, had admitted to betraying them all. At least that was what it sounded like and how could he not believe it? Blake had done it to them before.

And the final shocks that had sealed their fates. Vila suddenly had a crazy idea. Avon…do you think…have you ever thought that it might not have been Blake? Maybe an android? Or a clone?"

Avon grimaced at another sharp stab of pain that seemed to escape the drugs. "It was Blake. I know it was him."

"But how do we know? We never saw the body after, did we? He looked broken up, not like the Blake we knew."

Avon knew that even with the medicinal patch, he would be hearing Cally's voice in his head soon if he didn't end this conversation. "Stop, Vila."

"Sorry."

"None of this speculation changes the facts." None of it took away the guilt.

Vila had a bad feeling. "Avon…you're not going to let Jenna kill you, are you?"

"I'm not the sacrificial type, or have you forgotten."

Vila had a very bad feeling. Avon had deliberate blinders about himself sometimes.

**********

Jenna went to visit Captain Atton on his ship. The sleek, well-dressed smuggler and his crew had been running Shade and some other clandestine supplies for her. It was a courtesy to visit him on his ship rather than telling him to meet her at her office. Not to mention, she didn't want prying ears to hear this conversation.

Atton leaned back in his chair, the master of his domain who felt comfortable in his own environment. "You've come up considerably in the world, Jen. You don't need us anymore."

"That's where you're wrong." Jenna was just as relaxed. "There has been a reversal of fortunes lately. I don't think it's safe for any of us to stay much longer."

Atton steepled his fingers together. "That's the first I've heard of this."

"I have inside information."

"Of course you do." Atton's eyes were shrewd. Jenna had the impression that he was measuring her carefully. "You've been working closely with them. You have your own operation."

"Then you know that I would know if there was danger."

Atton said with sardonic approval, "You're preparing a way out for yourself."

"You could say that."

"And you want me to take you back onboard?"

"Not exactly. I want to hire your crew to do something for me. And for safe transport back to Earth Sector."

Atton studied her over his fingers. "With the money that you've directed our way with this Shade deal, I can retire."

Jenna wondered what the shrewd smuggler had in mind. "As you said, I'm responsible for making you richer than you've ever dreamed of but I'm not saying that you owe me."

"I certainly hope not."

There was a sly smile on her face. "But for old time's sake? And because you enjoy the challenge?"

"You were never with us long enough to develop any 'old times'."

She persisted, "And the challenge?"

"You've forgotten the most important incentive."

Jenna laughed. Atton had always been greedy and an opportunist. "Of course, you'll be paid double…"

"Five times."

"That's outrageous!" She had expected Atton to ask for more, she would have been disappointed if he hadn't, but this was excessive, even for him.

"We're rich now, remember? You have to make it worth our while. And the challenge has to be interesting enough." Atton smiled. "Besides, five times is nothing to you. You're even richer than we are. Now what is this challenge?"

**********

Kirsten looked sceptically at the three round balls of different coloured something that Corinne had placed in front of her. Cold mist rose from its unappetizing surface. "What is this?"

"I thought I'd introduce you to my favourite food on the ship. It comes from Vila's planet. This is ice cream," Corinne said enthusiastically.

"They freeze cream and make it into food? That doesn't sound appetizing." She eyed it suspiciously and poked at it with a spoon.

"That's what I thought at first but it's delicious. Try it."

"I don't know." She didn't want to disappoint her companion but the idea of iced cream was turning her stomach. "Maybe not right now."

Corinne put her spoon into the bowl and scratched out a sliver of the brownish coloured one. "Just one taste?" She held it out towards her encouragingly.

Kirsten sighed. They might be fellow Chandarans but Corinne's bright disposition and enthusiasm made her wince at times. She opened her mouth reluctantly and took a tentative taste, hoping she would be able to keep it down.

It was…Oooh. The sharp taste of cold chocolate, smooth and creamy, it was melting on her tongue like velvet. "This is…" She grasped for words that would describe this…it wasn't even a taste, it was a sensation. "This is wonderful!" Her face had the kind of smile that accompanied the reaching of an indescribable climax. Maybe not that kind of climax, she thought with a private grin, but close to it.

Corinne was smiling. "I told you, you'd like it."

Kirsten scooped out a large spoonful and said offhandedly, "It's alright." Then she chuckled. "Yes, you were right." She put the glorious new dessert into her mouth and let it melt slowly.

"Wait 'til you try the light green one with the bits in it. That's mint chocolate."

"I think I like this ship already. At least the food dispensers."

"Vila's already tried everything on the menu. He said it's much better than his old ship."

As if on cue, Vila came into the dining area and headed straight towards them. "I think I just heard my name. Nothing good, I hope," he said with a grin.

Corinne cleared a place for him at the table. "What's your name again?"

Vila rolled his eyes and sighed with theatrical resignation, "I knew it. They never remember me in the morning. Not unless I…" He swiftly whispered something in Corinne's ear and then pulled back and looked at her with an expectant grin on his lips.

Corinne's mouth formed a perfect circle. "Oh." Her face turned a light shade of red and she suddenly had difficulty forming coherent words. "Well…I…you can do that?"

Vila said, "I'm sure. At least, fairly sure. I had Argus and Reya test it out. They didn't seem to complain. He had a big smile on his face the next day."

"Hmm. It does sound interesting."

Kirsten had finished half her bowl already. "What sounds interesting?"

Vila had a momentarily naughty idea but quashed it immediately with a cough. He seemed to be doing that a lot these days. Being around Corinne was definitely doing something to his imagination. Well, more than just his imagination. "Nothing. It needs two people. And…" He winked at Corinne. "…we already have two."

Before she realized what she was saying, Kirsten said, "I have two."

Already? thought Vila, wondering which of the lucky soldiers had her attention.

Kirsten said quickly, "I can have two." She missed her wandering psychostrategist and wondered when he would return.

Vila suddenly realized he didn't want to explain the intimate details of the mechanics to her. It was fine telling a man, that was different. "Let me know who it is when you want to try it. I…can't tell you."

"You told Corinne."

"That's different."

Corinne rescued him. "He'd die of embarrassment if he told you."

Kirsten looked at him with appraising eyes and said teasingly, "You don't look the type, Vila."

Corinne said with complete sincerity, "He can be many types. He's very gifted."

Kirsten nearly giggled at the horrified look on Vila's face. "You're right, he does embarrass easily."

Vila started in on a choking fit.

Corinne looked at him with concern, "Are you alright? Do you need some water?"

Vila waved his hand to reassure her. "N-no. I'll be fine."

"You don't look fine."

There was a pained look on Vila's face. "Can we talk about something else? Please?"

Chapter Three

After Jenna sent word that she had found the location of the lab, Avon and Cally immediately had a discussion about this news.

Avon said matter-of-factly, "You're not going down, of course."

Cally placed her hand gently on his chest. She knew that he cared for her but he still found it difficult to express it in anything other than concrete actions or in ways that other people would find normal. This desire to protect her, even though his rational mind knew that she was fine, was an indication of something much deeper. "Avon, you don't have to be afraid."

She felt him tense beneath her fingers. "It's not a matter of fear."

"I'm perfectly fine. You know the Tellaran doctors would never release me for duty if I weren't. Don't you trust their medical abilities?"

"This mission does not require your participation."

"But I'm not going down for the mission, Avon. I'm going down for you. You need me to read Jenna."

"That's not necessary. We already know Jenna wants to kill me. There's nothing more you could discover with your limited telepathic ability with humans."

She looked up into his deep, brooding eyes. It was hard to know what he was thinking most of the time but she could sense what he was feeling. It was what she had noticed very early on with Avon. When he answered a question, it was rarely simple. You had to dig underneath the meaning to understand that he was truly saying. He seemed to have a pathological need to hide when he was doing something good by not directly answering a question. But the answer itself was very revealing.

He did not want her to go down but he would not admit why. Did she want him to? He had already expressed how he felt about her. For Avon, when he had committed himself, it was a fact. He didn't consider it necessary to continue proving it with meaningless words or gestures. At least, that was how he saw them. This was such a strange way of relating with people that she wondered how he had learned it. Or was it an indication of a psychological condition?

Cally closed her eyes and brushed her mind gently along his protective walls. She could feel the automatic tension as his normal protective instinct made him to pull away but at the same time, his love for her caused him to stop himself and consciously lower his walls so she could come closer. His breath caught as she slipped past his barriers and their consciousnesses mingled. It was a great breakthrough. Normally it would take a long time for Avon to get to this point.

Touching like this made it harder for him to hide himself behind words that had little meaning but he was allowing it to happen.

Cally projected to him, * Avon, I know you wish to protect me. And I know why. * The palm of her hand was still on his chest, each beat of his heart seemed to be mirrored by hers.

He said lightly, * Then it's unnecessary for me to say it. *

She sent him a gentle wave of affection. * It would still be nice to hear it occasionally. * Even with her eyes closed, she had the impression that he was studying her, trying to understand their interaction.

* I've never understood this need to hear something that you already know. *

* I know. * Cally let out a soft sigh. She was certain of his feelings for her and she trusted that if she were important enough to him, then he would make the effort. But she wanted him to make the decision for himself. * It's not necessary, Avon. I know how you feel about me. That's enough. *

She felt gentle fingers touch her cheek. * Yet it was important enough for you to mention it. *

It was fascinating feeling the working of his mind as he applied his intelligence to an area that was unfamiliar to him. She was important to him, and for that reason, he was trying to understand what this would require from him. Even if it seemed counter intuitive to his own rationale. But as he had often said to her, an intelligent man could adapt. She could feel his mind reach a decision. He asked, * Would once a week be enough? *

Cally was puzzled. * Once a week? *

* The verification, * there was a momentary pause, as if he were an alien who was still trying to become comfortable with something foreign, * that I love you. *

Cally hugged him. * Avon. You don't need to do that. *

Avon had an inexplicable feeling of wellbeing in her spontaneous display of affection but he was perplexed. * You said… *

* The effect isn't the same if it becomes a logical exercise. *

Avon argued, * The sentiment is still genuine but this way, it becomes a regular occurrence. Wouldn't that be preferable to unreliable spontaneity? *

Cally couldn't believe she was having this conversation but with Avon as her partner, it was something that she had come to expect. She could almost envision him setting up a regularly scheduled calendar item. The idea of a pop-up notification an hour before the event nearly made her giggle.

If he was trying to adapt, then so could she. * I suppose, I could get used to it. *

She could sense his mind working hard again. * Spontaneity would be harder to schedule. *

Cally opened her eyes and looked up at him. His eyes twinkled with light humour even as he kept a straight face. She said, * I'm sure if anyone can manage it, it would be you. *

He became serious again. * I won't stop you if you wish to come down. I know you want to keep an eye on Jenna. *

They had finally come back to the original topic. * Thank you, Avon. *

Avon bent his head to kiss her but hesitated and said. * You were right earlier. There was an element of fear. * He wondered if it would ever become easier to share himself with someone else. * When you were injured and I loss mental connection to you, it was…disturbing. * His eyes were earnest and steady on hers. * You have become an integral part of my life, Cally. I never want to find out what it would be like to be without you, but I never want my fear to become a prison for you. I would never deny you, your freedom. *

A gentle smile touched Cally's lips. * You are all that I hoped you were. *

* Your expectations couldn't have been very high. *

* I have always believed in you, Avon. *

* Then you must have known something that I didn't. *

* I knew you. * Cally pulled his head down into a kiss.

**********

Jenna had rehearsed this meeting a dozen times in her mind. Under normal circumstances, seeing her old crewmate should have been a happy occasion. There were few enough of them left from the old days. (She carefully avoided thinking about Blake.)

She had tried becoming like the cold-blooded Avon, all thought and self and no feeling. It would have been poetic, right up until the point when she… Jenna pushed the thoughts far from her as her most hated enemy (correction 'temporary partner') approached with Cally by his side.

Jenna was happy to see her old friend. "It's good to see you again, Cally."

"Let's dispense with the pleasantries that neither one of us feels." There was no welcome on Cally's face, only guarded suspicion.

The lack of friendliness made her wonder if being with Avon was having a bad influence on Cally or whether her relationship with him had blinded her to what he really was. Jenna instantly pushed the thought from her. It was going to be harder than she thought. With regret, Jenna said, "Alright."

To avoid any further conflict and to keep everyone on track, Argus asked, "You have a lead for us?"

Jenna turned her attentions back to business. "My contacts have found the location of the lab where they produce the drug."

Borel activated a map screen. "Where is this lab?"

Jenna touched the screen, scrolling through to find the right quadrant. She pointed to a building, "It's here."

Reya said, "That's a commercial district. A lot of civilian traffic." She touched the building to bring up a schematic. "It appears to be a night club."

Jenna nodded. "It's more than that. I've been there before. It's a place that never closes. The lab is underneath the club. The only accesses are these two lifts." She pointed them out.

Avon found himself watching Cally surreptitiously. He knew that she was fully recovered from her injuries but he couldn't help himself.

Argus rotated the schematic. "We're going to have to blend in or we'll lose the element of surprise the moment we enter the building."

Avon said, "There must be an emergency or maintenance tunnel."

"Well, don't look at me." Jenna had decided that she shouldn't know too much about the building.

Avon manipulated the diagram, studying it from various angles. "There is one. In the hall leading to the primary lift." He touched the screen to bring up a different view of the building. "For an organization of this type, we will most likely encounter considerable security measures. Perhaps comparable to a double A Federation building. You'll need Vila."

Argus said wryly, "I'm sure he'll be thrilled."

"I will need to go down as well."

Argus peered closer at the diagram as he began forming a plan. "You can go down after we've taken the lab."

"Then you might as well not bother. Vila can handle the locks but not the computerized security system."

"I was thinking of just blowing it up."

Avon said dryly, "Of course you were. That would be useful if you want to render the lab useless but not if we want to take the equipment and computer system intact."

Argus grinned. "I was kidding. I know we need the information."

There was a blank expression on Avon's face as he stared at him.

Argus said wryly, "I still don't like you going down."

Avon bristled, he didn't want pity or to be treated as someone who needed protection. But at the same time, his earlier 'talk' with Cally was giving him a different perspective. It had given him a deeper appreciation for - he couldn't believe that he was thinking this - the sentiment behind the action. Argus had a certain regard for him that had its roots in their childhood friendship.

Argus said, "We can't afford to risk you. You're our only hope for finding the antidote."

Either Argus was being sincere or he was trying to give him respect in front of the others. He couldn't fault the man's intentions either way. "Then you'll have to find a solution because you need me to disable the computer security."

**********

Avon looked uncomfortable as he pulled distractedly at the vest that covered the majority of his upper torso. He said with a strong sarcastic tone, "You've forgotten the helmet."

Argus's solution to keeping his friend and resident genius safe was to have him wear armour. "I had thought of that but I thought it might be too…" He was trying not to laugh at the sullen look on Avon's face. "…well, I thought it might be overdoing it a bit."

Avon glared at him, clearly thinking that it was completely unnecessary. He said acidly, "I'm not the one who consistently gets himself shot. Or blown up."

Argus winced and glanced quickly at Reya who was speaking to Lt. Dain by the doorway. He hoped that she hadn't heard or she might have something colourful to say and make him wear the armour.

He had worn armour before. You couldn't avoid it in the military. It was the difference between living and dying or at least minimal injury versus permanent disability. The rebels didn't use armour. Most couldn't afford the ones needed against Federation weaponry.

Not to mention, it would be embarrassing to be the only one to wear it. Sort of how Avon was feeling right now. Argus wished he didn't have to do this to him but he had no choice.

Argus said unrepentantly, "You asked me to find a solution. You didn't say to find one that you'd like."

Avon stared daggers at him.

Argus knew that Avon would make him pay for this somewhere down the line but that couldn't be helped. "Alright, let's go."

**********

The operation was a complete success except for the escape of the majority of the lab techs. A fierce firefight with the enforcers had resulted in multiple injuries. Afterwards as the soldiers mopped up and cleared the rest of the building, Argus and the others inspected their new lab.

Avon was helping one of the engineers to defuse an explosive device that had been left to destroy the lab but which for some reason, had not been used. He brought over a component with trailing leads. "Argus, look at this."

Argus accepted it. "This looks like part of the arming device."

"It is."

"There's something wrong with it?" Argus looked at him expectantly.

"Take a look at the leads here." Avon pointed a probe into the component.

Argus peered in closely. "It's been severed. I'm assuming you did that? Or one of the engineers?"

Avon said flatly, "We didn't."

Argus started and stared closer at the wires. "You mean it was a dud?"

"That's unlikely."

Argus's eyes widened, "You mean someone sabotaged it?"

"That's my guess. Although determining why someone would do it opens up some interesting speculations."

"Yes…" He looked up at Avon. "Do you think…someone wanted us to find the lab intact?"

Avon said, "Or there is a third party with an ulterior motive."

Argus's voice lowered, "You mean an alien motive? But why would they want to help us?"

"Perhaps there's something here they want us to find."

Argus hated all this intrigue. "I don't know…there is such a thing as being too paranoid."

Avon said cynically, "Then you want to proceed on the assumption that they're not involved?"

"I didn't say that." Now that Avon brought it up, they couldn't ignore the possibility. "Is there a way for you to find out?"

"Not without a thorough examination of the computer system."

"You mean on top of finding the antidote?"

"That will be my first target of analysis."

"Yes…wouldn't want to find an antidote that's worse than the poison. I'll ask Reya to question the ones we captured. She's good at that."

Avon was already making plans. "I will need all of the engineers and the Tellaran medical specialists onboard."

Argus was also making his own plans. "That shouldn't be a problem. I'll set up the first security detail and…" He glanced at Avon. "…I'd like you to keep that on until we make sure that everything's secure."

Avon gave him an irritated scowl.