April Showers

Started September 20, 2005
Season 2
Quasi Sequel to A Returned Favor
Summary: Jack doses out some medicine and gets it right back!

Author's note: This is just a funny little story, a quasi sequel to my first story, "A Returned Favor", which was based on Jack's recovery after "Solitudes". You do not need to have read it to understand what is going on here, but it would help you. If not, just know that Jack didn't have fun during his stay in the infirmary.

Comments and constructive criticism is what I live for.

Special thanks to: my good friends and betas, Jenny and Rebecca.

In the halls of the SGC, a shadow moved stealthily. Dark quiet halls and abandoned offices. It was very late. Level 21 was silent except for the soft shuffle of a single pair of shoes.

The mysterious form entered through an unlocked door.

"Oow! Dammit!"

The now not-so-silent figure had walked into something in the dark. At the same moment as when the shadow cursed in a harsh whisper, the slap of stiff plastic could be heard on a tile floor.

After stooping to rub what would later be a nice bruised shin, the shadow moved slowly around and into another area of the room. Moving around, it disappeared at intervals during which the sound of metal rubbing metal was heard. After finishing its rounds, the form cautiously exited back out into the empty hall, never realizing that a piece of evidence had been dropped…

The next morning Dr. Daniel Jackson arrived at his office with his arms full of books and files: last night's homework. On his way in the door, he glanced at his monthly calendar which featured beautiful aerial photos of the Egyptian pyramids.

He stopped dead in his tracks.

Today was April Fools Day.

Shifting his possessions around in his arms, the archeologist scoped out his office with one thought in mind. Having known Jack O'Neill for well over a year now, he had every reason to be cautious.

Sensing that the floor was clear of booby traps, Daniel slowly made his way to his desk. He set his work down, further covering the desk's surface, and then turned his attention to his chair. Last year Jack had taken out the pistons from the height adjusting mechanism so that when Daniel sat down, he thought he was falling through the floor. Of course, at this time last year, Daniel hadn't thought that Jack was so much the prankster type… now he knew better.

Daniel dug one of his heavier source books out from under a pile of papers on his desk and put it on the seat. It didn't move. Daniel hadn't really expected it to. It would have been pretty dumb of Jack to rig it two years in a row… but of course he would expect Daniel to think just that.

The archeologist resigned himself to the fact that he would find whatever trap his friend had set eventually, and sat down at his desk to put in some work.

Not much time passed before Daniel heard a rumble coming from within the mountain. In the early days he had learned to ignore the groans of the complex as the Stargate shook downstairs, but Sam had long since fixed that problem. So what the heck was this?

Daniel focused his ears on the source of the sound. Whatever it was it had a steady beat…and it was headed his way…

Suddenly a rush of figures passed his door, most of whom he recognized, but something was…different…about them. He got up and went out into the hall.

He came out of his office just in time to meet Sam who was following the large group at a distance.

"Sam, what's going on? Was that Janet?"

Sam was smiling ear to ear with a mischievous gleam in her wide blue eyes. "Yeah, and almost every female member of her morning staff!" She grabbed Daniel's sleeve and pulled him along behind the marching nurses.

Daniel was still confused, but obviously Sam knew more than he did. "Was it just me, or did Janet look a little…"

"Purple?" Sam's grin grew even wider, like a Cheshire cat. "Oh, the Colonel's really going to get it for this!"

They chased after the marching women at a jog. After taking many turns and many flights of stairs as the determined pack of nurses and doctors swept the base, they finally arrived in the SGC's gym. The women filed into the room and Sam and Daniel managed to squeeze through the doorway to get a full view of what was going on.

First thing they noted was the presence of Jack, pedaling an exercise bike unenthusiastically as he watched Teal'c practicing some form of dance/exercise on the floor mat nearby. As Teal'c froze and Jack's attention shifted to the women, whose presence was as palpable as a five alarm fire, Sam and Daniel followed their gazes…

…and had to cover their mouths to hide their shock mixed with laughter.

About twenty women stood in a row with Janet out in front of them all. Each woman had something weird going on with their skin. Looking down the row, you could literally see every color of the spectrum! Hands, faces, arms, legs, even hair, were seen in various shades of red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and violet.

If these women had been endowed with heat vision, Jack O'Neill would have been reduced to a lump of smoldering, unrecognizable matter the second they entered the room.

Instead, Jack was forced to either stop pedaling and get off the bike or fall off headlong as a fit of laughter sent him gasping for breath.

"Colonel?" Janet asked, her voice dangerously quiet.

Sam and Daniel exchanged significant looks with Teal'c as he joined them, and then sat back to watch the show.

This is going to be very interesting!

"APRIL FOOL!" Jack blurted before leaning on the bike and succumbing to another bout of mirth, looking rather crazed.

The multicolored women stood silently and unmoving, like stone statues that had been doused with paint, hands on hips or clenched tight at their sides, jaws set, waiting patiently.

"I told you Janet! I told you I'd get you and your minions back! You don't torture a man for two weeks and then take away his beer when he's down!"

"Ladies?" Janet said over her shoulder, not taking her eyes off of the triumphant colonel and reaching into a pocket of her lab coat. "What do you say we give the Colonel a taste of his own medicine?" She produced a flat rectangular object from her pocket.

It was a pack of Kool-Aid. Green Kool-Aid.

Jack suddenly stopped laughing.

Janet and her pack developed evil grins.

"You must have dropped this one, Sir." Janet said in mock disappointment. "You didn't get to put it in the last shower. Not that it matters. That shower has been out of order for weeks now. But it presents us with an opportunity…" Janet started slowly walking forward with her staff following her lead.

Jack's appearance had gone from sheer glee to that of a cornered animal as the women approached. Eyes wide, he started backing away, hands raised and waving characteristically in a gesture of peace.

"Now, now, come on! We all know it's all just fun and games, right? We had a nice little laugh about it! There's really no need to get nasty, is there? A couple of days and you'll all be back to your lovely natural colors! No harm done, right?"

"A couple of days!" one of the nurses exclaimed.

A general murmur of indignation rippled through the half circle of women while Jack desperately searched for a hole he might be able to get out through…

"GET HIM!"

…too late.

Before Jack could move he disappeared as the women swarmed and grabbed just about any part of him they could get a hold of.

"Do you think we should help him?" Daniel asked his companions, knowing full well what the answer would probably be.

"No," the three answered in unison as they watched the mayhem, grinning at their hapless CO's predicament…or at least cocking an eyebrow in amusement.

Jack was dragged, kicking and howling, all the way back to the women's locker room by the infirmary, with the trio following at a safe distance.

When the yelling inside of the locker room died out and the nurses and doctors started filing out with Janet at the lead, each with some wet green stains on their clothing, Sam, Daniel, and Teal'c decided it would be best to scatter and get busy to limit the accusations of complicity that were bound to come their way.

Daniel had just barely settled himself at his desk again when a figure came walking listlessly past his door.

Daniel looked up and just couldn't help it. He started laughing so hard his crystal blue eyes started to water behind his glasses.

There was Jack, standing there in a damp black shirt and sweat pants, with every bit of exposed skin and hair a vivid shade of lime green.

"Oh fer crying out loud, Daniel, shut up!" Jack groaned, wanting nothing more than to get off the base as fast as possible and scrub in the shower until he looked normal again. He also knew his team was not going to let him live this down for…well, who knows how long!

"I didn't forget you, Carter, or Teal'c, you know." Jack hinted evilly.

Daniel fell abruptly silent.

"That's right! Just you wait and see! You'll get yours!"

The green prankster then continued on his way down the hall, leaving one rather nervous archeologist behind.

Oh yeah, that'll fix them. Any second he'll run off and warn Teal'c and Carter. They'll all be walking on eggshells for the next couple of days, waiting to find what I did…too bad it's a bluff…

The End