Obviously this is entirely fictional. I am just a fangirl with feels. This is NOT a true account of Troian and Keegan's feelings. No disrespect meant to Keegan Allen, Troian Bellisario, Patrick J Adams, Chuck Grant, nor anyone else.
This is based off the filming of the Spoby motel scene in 3x24. Spoilers for the episode if you have not watched, obviously.
Please allow me the creative freedom and do not take any of this as fact. My feelings got the best of me when watching this scene (repeatedly) and what I wrote blossomed from there.
Title derived from The Civil Wars song of the same name. The song was featured in the 2x11 Spoby truck scene. If you read the lyrics, especially after reading this full through, it'll make more sense.
Thank you for reading x3 Feedback is much appreciated!
Poison and Wine
Keegan had experienced a lot of uplifting and incredible moments in his life, but he had to say walking into the room for the PLL script reading of episode twenty-four of their third season had to be in his top five.
The cast and crew present all exploded into cheers and applause, knowing what his presence there meant.
His character had been found 'dead' three episodes previous. He had thought it was the end of his Pretty Little Liars career. But when he got the call to come to the table read, he had been ecstatic. He called up Marlene King, the show's puppet master, and she reassured him that it was what he thought. Toby Cavanaugh was back.
His friends and set-family embraced him eagerly, but they all stepped aside when Troian got out of her seat. He caught her gaze, wondering what her reaction would be in front of everybody, but she was already pouncing on him in a hug before he could even guess.
He stumbled a little, but laughed with the rest, coiling his arms around her tightly and pressing a kiss to her hair. He loved everyone he worked with, but he honestly had missed Troian the most out of everyone. She was his best friend, the other half of his onscreen couple, and so much more.
The person passing out the name cards for the table based on the premade map in hand placed Keegan and Troian's names next to each other and both of them were grateful.
Under the table, Keegan laced his hand with hers. Troian hid a smile as the rest found their places, grateful to have her dependable rock sitting next to her just like she was sure Spencer would be when the time came.
Spencer and Toby's road hadn't been easy, and that was before they learned Toby was a part of the A team. Now, with the secret out and Spencer feeling so betrayed she began unravelling at the seams, finding Toby's dead body in the woods was only the icing on the cake. Spencer went into full blown mental breakdown from the grief and despair and ended up being admitted into Radley Sanitarium. From there, Mona had got her to join ranks with the A team and Spencer had found out that Toby was in fact alive and the woods had been a set up.
Determined to be sure it was real, Spencer had tricked Toby into meeting her at the diner. He came, shocked as ever to see her, but very much alive. Being a Hastings, Spencer demanded answers, but he instructed her to follow him to somewhere safe to talk and they found themselves at a sketchy motel, reminiscent of where they had first fallen for each other.
The motel scene was what was on the agenda for today. It was the first time Spencer and Toby were in the same room long enough to ask questions and receive an explanation since she had found out he was on the torturous A team. Both were guarded, vulnerable, yet still very much in love.
Patrick Norris was directing the episode, and he had worked with them a few times in the past so he usually gave them a lot of creative freedom. He had seen the work the two produced together and knew that they didn't require much instruction. Not only had they been working side-by-side for years now and were very comfortable in their characters, they also fed off of each other as actors very well.
Patrick made sure the two were ready, and then the serious scene began.
Troian stood in the center of the room, observing the faded wallpaper and lifeless demeanour. "It doesn't look like anyone lives here."
Keegan finished 'preparing' her coffee and walked slowly over to her. "I shuffle between a few motels. Mona doesn't know about this one."
Upon passing the mug to her, their fingers brushed. It was supposed to mirror the scene long ago in the show's first season with the snow globe when they first felt a spark. Both actors felt the mission was accomplished based on the current that swam up their bloodstream at the contact.
'Toby' moved away awkwardly and sat on the bench at the end of the bed.
"Red coat?" 'Spencer' asked, a little accusatorily.
He wiped his face tiredly. "The only thing I know about red coat is that she's in charge."
'Spencer' crossed her arms, standing back and looking to be checking around the room for potential entrances of the other members of the A-team.
"You still don't trust me." 'Toby' noted.
She set her gaze back to his, trying to send off the appropriate mix of hurt and angry while still remaining very vulnerable. "Look. I understand why you've been helping Mona. I made the same decision. But if I saw you hurting, the way I know that you saw me …"
Her tears prevented her from continuing on, her voice shaking a lot towards the end. She looked down in a little shame for letting her guard down. He looked away in similar disgrace.
"Toby…" 'Spencer' said, planning on asking more questions, but when he turned so she could view his expression, his eyes were filled to the brim with tears.
It shot Troian right in the heart, the sight of her best friend upset, and even though she was fully committed to her character and in the moment, she still felt a pang for seeing Keegan in such a way. Although she was well trained and had embraced the craft wonderfully, Troian felt herself reaching out for his face as herself rather than as Spencer. She kneeled in front of him, her thumb rubbing his soft skin tenderly in comfort.
Keegan turned from her touch in shame, knowing that he shouldn't be using his own emotions to fuel Toby's right now. But the thought of hurting someone the way Toby had… to hurt Troian that way… it was too much. He understood that Toby didn't feel like he deserved comfort from someone he had longed to comfort himself for so long.
But he felt Troian's touch brushing over his skin like a feather. Her touch was so light it was almost like a dream, the pads of her fingers resting behind his jawbone as her thumbs smudged pure affection into his cheeks.
He met her eyes, watching as a single tear fell from one and she forced a tiny, watery smile. It took him a moment to realize how very close they were. He was starting to feel her body heat, despite her always being so naturally cold.
Her bottom lip was quivering to contain her cries and he knew he couldn't wait any longer to be closer to her. Keegan tugged on her loose-fitting sweatshirt at her ribcage, dragging her closer between his legs, one of her hands resting on his shoulder as the other one stayed on his neck.
They caught each other in the middle, their lips finally fusing together, and Troian stumbled into him a little at the power behind his kiss. She hadn't been expecting that.
But it wasn't just the initial one. All the kisses following were making her knees weak as he pulled her flush to him, kissing her with a passion she hadn't felt in him before. It worked for the scene, the pure desperation of the couple reassuring themselves that they were both alive and here in this moment and had missed each other terribly, but Troian hadn't expected the level of feelings to roll through her.
She matched his fire, kissing him back with just as much courage, and if she hadn't been so distracted that she was actually aware of the crew hanging around during the filming, she would've wished them away for the pure intimacy of the moment. It felt like it needed to be more private, and she wished it could be just the pair of them with the camera. Having people watch this exchange just felt too personal.
The truth was that she had missed Keegan in the past couple months, and it was clear that he had missed her too. It wasn't just the sweet texts he'd send her in the middle of the night, or the way he hugged her in the few times they had seen each other in his time away from set, but it was the way he was holding her and kissing her now. He had missed this part of them too. And she'd be downright lying to herself if she said she hadn't.
When the director called cut and they separated, Troian almost felt drunk when she shuffled herself back a couple inches. That was some kiss.
Looking at Keegan, he looked just as disoriented. Troian leaned into his body for support, and he wrapped his arms around her to hold her close. She felt herself relax comfortably in his embrace.
They were given the instructions to run it again, and they kissed over and over. Multiple takes, multiple angles, and plenty of variety. In one take, Troian had just gone all in and they were kissing so roughly and passionately that they were actually cut off and told to tone it down.
One look at Keegan and the pair of them had cracked up pretty hard at that one.
They shared a few softer, more tender kisses towards the last few takes, and they were finally given the clear to go get changed for the love scene.
It was strange, but the best friends both shared a sudden feeling of panic. To her surprise, Keegan clutched a part of her sweatshirt in his fist, as if he didn't want her going anywhere. It didn't even alarm her. She didn't want to leave him either.
But the reality that it would only be for a few minutes and that they were acting crazy caught up to them and he silently released her. She cast one last longing look to him before heading to the designated area to get re-dolled up.
Troian had her hair fixed and was getting her make-up reapplied for the new scene in the trailer when Keegan seated himself beside her. They met each other's eyes before he turned back towards the mirror so that his stylist could tend to him.
She felt a hand nudge her knuckles after a moment and found Keegan's hand lacing with hers between their chairs. She smiled a little to herself, but didn't turn, as his fingers played with hers. He was always doing that, just normally not in public view.
The two stylists working with them smiled at each other, trying not to giggle, always having spotted something brewing between the pair. They kept their mouths shut at they continued to do their job, giving both actors a softer look for the dim-lighting and lovingness of the scene.
Keegan had to let her hand go when Mandi Line beckoned him to follow her. She watched him leave a little disappointedly, and then realized how pathetic she was being. They were only going to be apart for a few minutes. Why was she suddenly so clingy?
It was probably because she had experienced life without Keegan on set and had thought for weeks that it was permanent. Now that he was back, she wasn't going to take him for granted again.
Mandi came for her next and told her that Keegan had been sent to set.
Slipping into the t-shirt and tiny shorts that really were just nude spandex underwear she swore, she headed back to the 'motel' and took her place behind the wall.
"This is… really short. Are you sure you can't see the shorts?" Troian asked Mandi, walking a couple steps to demonstrate how very high up her thigh the hem cut off at.
Mandi laughed. "I know it's pushing it, but the point of it is that you won't be wearing it for long. And if it shows, it's not a big deal. Spencer's allowed to wear underwear ya know." she teased the actress.
Troian tugged on the hem again, swiveling her torso to check out her behind, but had to stop when the styling crew came up to do final touch-ups.
"I think, if I were you, I'd be more worried about Keegan pouncing the second he sees you." Mandi said amusedly.
Troian chuckled, trying not to blush at the images that crossed her mind, and secretly hoping he had a similar appreciation of her that Mandi was suggesting.
The ladies tending to her giggled, knowing full well that the male actor had the hots for the one they were currently tending to, regardless of their relationship status.
Once they finished, Troian got in her spot behind the doorway. She could hear the others setting Keegan up on the end of the bed and Patrick, the director of the episode, giving him instructions.
He came through the door and gave the same to Troian, explaining how they would kiss hesitantly at first before Keegan would flip them over and lower her on the bed. They'd exchange more kisses and then they'd send them to get changed once more before they'd finish off the scene.
Troian nodded to all of this, feeling butterflies surprisingly forming in her belly. Their first love scene had been very intimate, their second was just plain hot to put it simply, but this one was so much deeper than the rest. It meant so much more, both to them, to Spoby, and it would to the fans. She wanted to bring her all to this one. And she was sure Keegan felt the same.
She was given the go-ahead and walked slowly into the room, her eyes completely trained on her best friend, watching his eyes change as he traced her up and down. She wasn't sure if that was acting or his own personal reflex, but she didn't care. The butterflies in her belly took flight again. She didn't remember ever being this nervous around him before.
He reached out for her when she got close enough, meeting her seeking lips gently. She kneeled on the bench at the end of the bed, anxious to get closer to him, and his lips covered hers more fully as she scooted closer.
As soon as her dainty hand made contact with his bare skin, Keegan felt like flames were licking his entire integumentary system. The coolness on set evaporated, and he suddenly felt like he was burning up. Her hands descended from his face, down his neck, to his shoulders as he pulled her closer.
His hands explored her back, tugging her into him, and Keegan realized she wasn't wearing a bra. A shiver jolted up his spine.
When she had first come out in just a t-shirt, he hadn't been able to stop himself from checking her out. His eyes, as always, found particular fascination with those long, toned legs of hers, and he hadn't been aware of much else.
But as soon as she had kissed him, he lost all thought processes and simply indulged in her. He had missed kissing her, and he knew his longing for more was clear in his touch.
Troian didn't pull away or seem to find anything out of the ordinary. He felt her melt under his hold, her mouth opening with his, their slow gentleness morphing into needy want quickly.
Remembering the directions he was given before the scene, Keegan lifted her with ease and rolled so she was lying beneath him up closer to the headboard. He didn't take his mouth off of hers, their legs tangling together as he kissed her over and over again. Her hands stroked slowly down his face, like she was trying to tell him she appreciated the view, and his hand on her back pushed her closer to him on reflex.
Keegan found himself pushing her body deeper into the mattress, his hands on her shoulder blades moving to explore more of her, and he nearly let the one concealed venture beneath the hem of her shirt. He managed to catch himself in time, but he inwardly scolded his hormones for taking the lead.
Troian's hands were running all over his bare torso, slipping from his neck to his shoulder and then to his back where she dug her fingers into the lumbar area to push his hips into hers. His hips bucked forward of their own accord, and she let out a breathy sigh, separating their mouths for a moment.
Keegan took that opportunity to press single long kisses to her mouth, teasing her and leaving her wanting more. The lazy kisses felt like the post-romp kind, the playful, I-love-you-and-that-was-amazing kind.
In reality, it was more that the two were out of breath but didn't want to stop kissing. He kissed her hard, with purpose, but somehow gentle. She let her mouth fall open with his so their tongues could play too.
It had never been like this before. They were both so unrestrained. There was no holding back and it was amazing. Everything felt so easy and natural this time around, and she had no idea what had caused the change. It didn't feel like Spencer and Toby this time for some reason; it felt like Troian and Keegan.
All she knew was that she couldn't keep her hands off of him, running her palm from his face, into his hair, and back across his buff arms to claw at his muscular back.
Her hands flirted with misbehaving, enjoying the way Keegan's hands couldn't stop travelling across her body, but thankfully the director called cut at the perfect time.
After a few more rounds, they were dismissed to wardrobe again to strip down even further. Keegan was to change into nude boxer briefs and Troian was to lose the shirt and gain the minimalist of coverings for her chest. They wanted to expose her bare back for the scene.
Troian, the professional that she was, knew how difficult it would be to ensure that the sheet not show the tape of the bra-contraption she was wearing, so after getting settled in the bed, she yanked it off and handed it to Mandi.
"Sorry… but that tape makes me itchy and I'm pretty sure my pubescent-boy-sized boobs aren't going to be flying everywhere. It'll be easier to feel when they aren't being covered this way."
Mandi tried not to smirk and nodded. They had to offer her the option, but she knew the director would be pleased for the exact reasoning Troian gave.
Keegan finally returned to set and got comfortable, nervous for this part more than the others since it was a lot more intimate than before and they were both wearing so little. He was oblivious to the fact that Troian was in fact topless, which was a good thing since otherwise he probably would've passed out.
Patrick came over to give them the usual instructions, explaining who he wanted where and the angle they were trying to get. He already knew they knew that they were aiming for tenderness and intimacy over fiery sexual passion, so he had no worries there.
With the last thoughts dished out, he paused before leaving.
"Both of you be careful of that sheet. Make sure it stays wrapped around your torso, Troian, unless you want to expose yourself to more than just Keegan."
She nodded, and Keegan finally caught on as the director walked away.
"Did he… mean… you're…" he was practically choking, trying to stay cool but unable to when he realized his gorgeous female best friend was ninety percent naked next to him.
She bit her lip. "Yeah… it's just easier. Is that a problem?"
He shook his head, correcting his throat. He clenched his hands to stop the shaking and then reached out to make sure the white material was arranged properly on her so there wouldn't be any slip-ups. He wasn't sure what he would do if that happened.
Patrick called out for the scene to begin and Troian was kissing him before he really had time to contemplate it.
They were in opposite positions this time, with Keegan lying more underneath her this time as they kissed. Troian's leg was draped between his two, her hip a little up on his, and she leaned over him as they made-out under the white blankets.
His heart was beating out of his chest, his mind completely distracted with how much better at kissing she had gotten since they last got to be like this. She was talented at everything.
Keegan's hand wandered to stroke the bare skin of her leg, his other hand permanently lost in her hair as they kissed. He realized that his hand was prepped to venture further northward towards the apex of her legs and he quickly moved it to her back.
But Troian responded to his touch first, grinding her hip down onto his and causing friction where his body desperately wanted friction.
Keegan was trying to remind himself that this was acting, but the little sensual sounds Troian was making when he kissed her especially hard and full of desire left him unable to remember that for long. His hand teased the sensitive skin of her bare ribcage, and he longed to rip the sheet away between them.
Inwardly, he shook himself for that last thought. They were Toby and Spencer here. She was being totally professional, why couldn't he?
But little did he know that Troian was losing control just as quickly as he was. If they had only filmed the first two scenes today, she would've been fine. But their kissing now was just getting too dangerous. She wanted more. So much more.
Without even caring about what the script said, Troian broke away to kiss down his neck, feeling the throaty sigh rather than hearing it as she pressed her lips down the side. As she crossed his chest, Keegan lifted his head to press an affectionate kiss to her temple, and she knew that that had nothing to do with the script. That was a hundred percent Keegan.
She moved back up the other side of his neck, but he dragged her mouth to his before she could get too far.
Their lips smashed together again, the heat between them increasing, and Keegan's concealed hand was starting to get new ideas. It was underneath the sheet, hidden from the cameras, on her bare waist now.
But it was Troian's hand that grabbed it and pushed it further superior to where it really wanted to go, catching him completely off guard as his palm met the warm flesh.
His hand was frozen for a moment, Troian's lips moving faster against his now, and he clued in that she actually wanted him to touch her there. Gradually at first, before picking up confidence, he began stroking her sensitive skin, massaging and exploring and accidentally grinding his hips against hers in gratitude.
Troian was equally pleased, craving more of his experienced touch, pushing her chest further into his hand. She let herself give in to the pleasure, tossing her head back. Keegan took this opportunity to return her earlier favour and trail kisses down her exposed skin.
Finally they were cut off and they ran it again, Keegan taking the lead this time and seeking out the forbidden area on his own this time. Troian was more than happy with his decision.
They were stopped again after a few minutes, and were told to wait while they reviewed the film.
The set was really quiet except for the buzz of murmurs behind the monitor several feet away.
Troian's leg was still hitched over his leg and she let it dangle lazily under the sheets, turning towards him. They were now on opposite sides that they started out on, but she didn't care.
Keegan took her hand in his silently, not offering words for what just happened between them. He strung their fingers together again, threading them in and out and tickling her palm.
Troian adjusted herself more comfortably against the pillow, watching their hands too, feeling much more relaxed than she had in months. It was so nice to have him here. Just his presence calmed her, even on her craziest days.
Little did they know that Patrick had silently instructed the cameras to zone in on the pair.
It was so dead quiet that Troian really felt like it was just the two of them. Both actors completely forgot about the others in the room as they simply revelled in being together in such a way.
She knew they would probably have to talk about it later, but right now, she was completely content to just lie together like this.
Patrick Norris gave the ones taking charge on the camera the thumbs up to let them know he got the shot he wanted and they wordlessly turned them off and began repositioning them for the next blocking.
"Okay, final scene we're going to have you two spooning. Keegan, put your arm over hers so that your fingers are interlocked." Patrick instructed, nodding in approval as they got into their places.
Keegan nuzzled into the back of her neck, kissing the nape once. Troian melted back into him, not caring how little either one of them was wearing. His arm over her made her feel safe instantly, and she smiled as she remembered how many times they had actually fallen asleep this way.
When they finally wrapped the scene, Troian and Keegan were released from set and walked down the hall in silence together.
Troian opened her mouth to say something when they reached their dressing rooms, but Keegan suddenly pinned her to the wall and kissed her passionately on the mouth.
Surprised, but eager, Troian returned his enthusiasm, letting her hands tangle in his hair as she anchored his face to hers.
Keegan finally pulled back, panting, and leaned his forehead against hers.
Troian felt the reality of what they had just done and what everything meant catch up to her, and a few tears slipped out. His hand immediately jumped up to wipe them away.
"I know. It's okay. Just know that if you ever change your mind, you're not alone in feeling this way. You never have been." he promised, kissing her again, much softer now, before releasing her and slipping inside his room to grab his stuff before heading home.
Troian stayed leaning against the wall, letting the tears fall. She had a long term boyfriend that she was in love with. It's not that she didn't love Keegan with all of her heart, it's just that she also loved Patrick just as much. She couldn't choose.
And she understood that Keegan loved her enough that he wasn't asking her to pick either.
Sucking up her courage, Troian pulled herself together and went into her own dressing room. She smiled involuntarily when she saw she had a message from Patrick. There was no denying that she didn't love him, but she wondered how she was ever going to stop thinking about the way things could be if she ultimately chose Keegan.
