Guilt

I see the way your

Grey eyes stare up at me,

Unfocused and innocent.

I can see my own features in

Your rounded face,

Your light brown hair.

As I hold you in my arms,

I feel nothing. Your

Father looks at me

Expectantly, but

I can't find the words

To answer.

I simply hand you

Back to him,

A blank expression

Upon my face.

I may have carried

You for nine months,

But my heart still

Longs for the daughter

I lost four months ago…

You're just a reminder

Of her. Every time I

Look at you, its

Like I've lost her all

Over again. I can't find

It in me to be sorry,

Even though I know that

I should be. So here I sit,

Watching you watch me

As I plan to tie a rope

To the rafters and

Let the darkness take me.