So yeah another random one-shot! Well, there'll be other fics under the title It's All A Mere Illusion: [xxxxxxx], so maybe it's not a one-shot? Heheheh, random fics all rounded up into a series...

I hope this makes sense. The story, I mean. It took a while, and I'm semi-proud of it. A little OOC, but that can't be helped.

Standard disclaimers apply.

OH YEAH AND MAKE SURE YOU KNOW: My username will be changing in a week. Seven days, got it memorized? So please favourite or follow or something, since I will no longer be Chaos Angel of Slytherin by next Monday. Enjoy!


Zexion stared at the pink-haired Nobody's back as he contemplated his challenge with unease and dread. I can't back down, he mused silently. But there's no way I can do that and survive… Dammit, why did I agree to a game of Truth or Dare with Luxord? Axel must have slipped something into my drink… it wouldn't be the first time. And it was late, so I must have been easier to manipulate. Damn!

Marluxia frowned at the distant Nobody and waved his hand in front of the other's face.

"Coffee or tea, Zexion?" Zexion, startled out of his reverie, looked up at Marluxia with a wide eye.

"I beg your pardon?" The pink-haired man sighed and shook his head.

"I asked you if you wanted coffee or tea. Honestly, Zexion, something's wrong with you today…" he said in his bored voice. Zexion sighed and buried his face in his arms, saying something which Marluxia could not hear as it was too muffled. He shrugged.

"Then I guess it's tea for both of us," he said, and proceeded to brew the desired beverage. Setting down a hot mug in front of Zexion, he sat at the table across from the Nobody and began sipping his drink quietly. The slate-haired Nobody accepted his drink with a muffled "Thanks," and began drinking it too. He let out a startled near-yelp and recoiled: the tea had burned his tongue. Marluxia chuckled darkly at Zexion's uncharacteristic surprise.

"I just made it, Zexion. You should know better," he reprimanded mockingly, grinning at Zexion's glare. Zexion flipped his bangs slightly to not accidentally dip them in his drink, revealing his other bright aqua eye, clouded with stress.

After a moment of awkward silence, Marluxia sighed once more and set down his drink.

"What's bothering you, Zexion? Why aren't you your usual mysterious self?" Zexion looked up and rolled his eyes.

"Luxord dared me to kiss Larxene," he mumbled, almost inaudibly.

Marluxia heard him perfectly fine, but feigned confusion.

"What was that? I didn't hear you." He smirked at Zexion's forming blush as he repeated what he had said.

"Luxord dared me to kiss Larxene," he hissed angrily. "And if I don't, then Vexen is going to take my Lexicon and perform "Experiments" on it! And not only that, Axel will reveal a secret about me!" He banged his head against the smooth white table once and lay there, mortified, and sulky. Marluxia smirked and shrugged.

"Why don't you just not summon your book? Then they can't take it," he said, enjoying mocking and helping Zexion simultaneously. Zexion did not move.

"That still leaves Axel revealing my secret," he said morosely.

"And what might that secret be?" He usually did not pry, but this idea of Zexion having a secret was simply… intriguing. His question was replied with a silent, frustrated, I-wish-you-a-week-in-Hell glare.

"Hmph. Alright, how much time do you have left? Knowing Luxord, it's not likely to be long."

Zexion sat up and continued drinking his tea, which had cooled off by now.

"I have until tomorrow at dinner to kiss Larxene without dying. And at the moment, not dying is a sort of high priority." There was a long pause. Zexion could practically hear Marluxia smirk.

"I'll help you think of something."

Marluxia stood up and, chuckling, opened a Corridor of Darkness and portaled away, leaving a miserable Zexion to sort out his thoughts and prepare himself for the mental and most likely physical scarring that lay ahead of him.


Larxene sat on her personal couch (having claimed it as her own and threatening any who stole it with death by lightning), angrily reading her book, while Axel and Luxord snickered behind her, whispering in the corner of the Grey Area.

"D'you think Zexion's going to do it?" Axel whispered in a low voice. Luxord laughed.

"I have no doubt. Heh, I wonder when he's going to do it. He only has a few more hours. How many days d'you reckon it'll take for him to heal? I'm betting— Hey!" Larxene, fed up, had thrown her book clear across the room at him, and had caught him in the stomach.

"Shut up already! I did NOT agree to this!" She glowered at him as her fingertips sparked with electricity. Axel snickered as Luxord got zapped.

"Aaah! My hair! My cards!" Pushing a smoking X aside, she sauntered towards the red-haired Nobody.

"And I wouldn't be laughing, if I were you, Axel," she said casually, but her eyes flashed threateningly as she readied her kunai in her hand. But before she could throw, Axel moved swiftly behind her and caught her wrist.

"That's not very nice," he hissed into her ear as she squirmed to get away, but to no avail. The red-haired Nobody was too strong for her.

Really, Axel could be just so infuriating: he had even dodged her kicks, and held her in a position so that she was virtually helpless.

"Axel, when you let me go, I'm going to—"

"There's no need for that, Larxene." Both Nobodies whirled around to see Marluxia strutting towards them, a grin plastered onto his sculpted face.

"Oh really? And why not, Marluxia?" She struggled harder to escape Axel's grasp, but only succeeding in having him tighten it to the point where it was almost painful. Not that she minded, of course. She loved pain. But perhaps this time, Axel was going a bit far. She bit her lip to prevent from letting out a string of curses and almost missed the conversation going on between the two.

"Let her go Axel." Marluxia raised his scythe, Graceful Dahlia, and pointed it at the Flurry of the Dancing Flames. He raised his eyebrow as if to say Or else what? and smirked. The blade pressed against his skin, scraping it almost, and nearly drawing blood.

"Let her go, Axel," he repeated. Axel shrugged and dropped her, his actions pressing his neck into the blade and drawing blood as crimson as his hair.

"Alright, alright, but see, I'd rather not, seeing as she threatened to—"

"Lar Lar won't do that, VIII. You have no need to worry." Axel began laughing.

"Lar Lar? You gave her a nickname? Aww, how sweet: you do actually care, don't you Marluxia?" Opening a portal, he stepped through and vanished, but not before giving them a final sarcastic wave.

"I dare you to call me that again, Marluxia," the Nymph threatened, but narrowed her eyes when she saw that her threat did not faze him.

"As you wish, milady. Lar Lar, it's rude to point those knives in someone's face. Put those down, or I'll have to do something about it."

"And what would that be, 'Luxia? Wha— HEY!" She hit Marluxia's shoulder as he pulled her into a hug.

Larxene hated hugs. Loathed, despised, abhorred, were repulsed by, and detested hugs. Especially ones that were given to her.

"Let me go! Or I swear, the next time you take a shower—"

"I'm guessing that you'll be waiting to electrocute me, yes? But intruding on another's privacy is quite rude, and I didn't know you were interested in me, XII," he taunted. Larxene blushed and rolled her eyes.

"I'm not. But let me go!" Both of them knew she was lying, but neither bothered to point that out. Marluxia smiled, a rare, sincere smile (or as sincere as you can get, being heartless and a Nobody).

"Not until you say 'please'." She sighed.

"Alright. Pretty pretty please with cherry and ice-cream and blood on top, let me go!"

"Of course," he smiled as Larxene wrenched herself from his grip.

"The hell was that for?" she asked angrily. Marluxia raised an eyebrow.

"You were pointing your kunai in my face. If you recall, I said that I'd do something about it if you didn't stop. And then, you asked what it would be, so I showed you." He smirked. "So, all that is left is for me to tell you our plan to get you out of kissing Zexion." Larxene's ears pricked up at this.

"You can't do that! Or else IV, Axel, and Luxord will…"

"No they won't. We have an idea…"


Zexion paced around his room in agitation and frustration. Marluxia had told him that he would be back in an hour, but already three hours had passed, and he had only two hours left until he had to kiss Larxene!

He didn't want to. Oh no, he knew Axel knew he didn't. Damn that redhead! And Luxord be damned for daring him, Zexion, number VI, to kiss number XII! And damn Marluxia for taking so damn long!

There was a knock on the door. Zexion mentally took the last one back, relieved that Marluxia had finally come.

But when he opened the door, there stood Larxene in an irritated pose, shooting glares at the steel-blue-haired Nobody.

"Well?" she asked. Zexion looked confused.

"Well what?"

"Aren't you going to let me in?" Smirking, Zexion considered her implied request, but bowed his head slightly and opened the door further when Marluxia placed his hand on her shoulder.

"Of course he will, Larxene. He was just waiting for me to arrive, no?" Zexion flipped his hair and led them in, and listened with keen interest to Marluxia's simple (and obvious) plan that would prevent the two other Nobodies from ever touching lips.


Axel, Luxord, Demyx, and Vexen portaled into the Grey Area, and waited for the show to begin. Marluxia had informed them that, so that they would not doubt the two, Zexion and Larxene would kiss right before their eyes, and portal away the moment the kiss ended. Demyx looked uncomfortable, but had tagged along rather than go on another mission. Saix was not giving out recons at the moment.

Several seconds ticked by.

"I hope they know they have five minutes left," chuckled Luxord. Then, as if on cue, Zexion and Larxene walked in, glanced at the group (or, in Larxene's case, threatened them all with a death glare), and stared at each other for a moment before turning their heads and pecking the other on the lips in a chaste kiss. Axel grinned.

"No, Zexion, you're supposed to actually kiss her! You only have a minute left!" Glaring at Axel through his layered bangs, Zexion proceeded to kiss Larxene harder, but then abruptly left after a few seconds. Larxene, blushing, threw one of her kunai straight at Axel before leaving in a huff.

Once they were gone, the group burst out laughing loudly. Axel playfully shoved Luxord's shoulder and held out his hand.

"You owe me. I win!" he said, and grinned as Luxord reluctantly gave Axel his deck of cards and 10000 munny. Demyx strummed his sitar and sat in a corner, playing absent-mindedly. Vexen shrugged and portaled back to his lab, disappointed that he could not hear Zexion's secret.


"Marluxia, you're a genius!" said Zexion as he almost hugged the Graceful Assassin. He settled for giving him an air-hug instead. Marluxia smirked.

"I know that."

"Let's not tell them about this. Ever."

"Yeah. Let's not."

Because why would the three of them tell the others that they had not actually kissed, and that it was all a mere illusion?