A/N: Fluffy one-shot dedicated to Rosanna because she always fangirls in capslock with me and I'm showing her that not all fics have to be angst-ridden. (She gets it.) So yeah.
Lorna Language
'I dunno Nichols, but Chapman said somethin' about how her friend was tryna pull the wool away from her eyes, even though she already guessed it was her he slept with.' Lorna was sat at the side of Nicky, crossed legged on her bunk, a significant pout on her red lips as she picked at her purple knitted scarf. A thread had pulled and she was trying to fix it while she updated Nicky with Piper Chapman's latest issue.
Nicky frowned as her brain caught up with what Lorna had just said.
'Wait, what?' She looked at Lorna sceptically. Tearing her eyes from the scarf, Lorna raised her eyebrow slightly, silently questioning what Nicky's problem was.
'What'sa matter?' she mumbled.
'"Pull the wool away from her eyes?" That makes no fucking sense. You mean "Pull the wool over her eyes." Jesus kid.'
'So what? Just because you heard it different doesn't mean you're right.' Nicky sighed. Lorna always insisted she was right. Bora Bora Bora, an olive (but not an olive branch.) Those were just a couple of the inaccurate phrases that featured in what Nicky had christened (only in her own head) Lorna Language.
'No, Morello, this isn't like the whole 'could care less' shit you believe in. Which, for the record, the correct way is 'couldn't care l-'
'Jeez, not this again! You sound like the tall one out of the Hispanic Barbie dolls - the one whose eyeliner is so thick it looks like she's crying black tears.' Her tone was extremely bitter when she spoke of Flaca. She picked harshly at the pulled thread, muttering in a deeper, quiet voice. Nicky couldn't tell what she was saying but caught the words 'fucking tell me…my article…least I can apply eyeliner.' Nicky tried to stop her lips from curling into a smile but wasn't quite successful.
'Well, I'm going to carry on from where I was before you interrupted me – which is fucking rude, y'know that, right Morello? But seriously kid, this time, I am unquestionably right.' Lorna shook her head, but Nicky could tell she had instantly perked up again from her bitter mumblings about Flaca. Her voice became slightly higher pitched, the way it did when she was in good spirits; playful and oblivious.
'No, no. I don't think so.' Nicky shifted from her position and turned to look at her square on. She could feel the exasperated expression on her face that she so often wore in Litchfield.
'But it makes no fucking sense!' Lorna pouted and sighed, putting her scarf to the side and moving so she was also facing Nicky. Nicky carried on. 'Look, you get what the saying means, right?'
'Sure, it means you're hiding something from someone, or tryna cover up so they don't find stuff out.'
'Right. So, if you,' Nicky motioned with her hands over her eyes, 'pull the wool away from someone's eyes, you're opening them!' Lorna rolled her eyes and pursed her lips, slivers of their natural pale pink showing slightly through the deep 'Morello Cherry Red' lipstick. (The look Red gave Nicky when she asked her to get that in for Lorna's birthday had made her cheeks burn with embarrassment. Red had then proceeded to roll her eyes and turn back to her plants muttering. Nicky was pretty sure she had sworn at her in Russian.)
'Nichols. It doesn't mean that, it means it's helping you to see the lies, y'know? So Chapman's friend lied to her about sleepin' with her fiancé, which means, she pulled the wool away from her eyes because she was so obviously lyin'!' Lorna grinned triumphantly before checking her reflection in her multi-mirror mosaic invention.
Nicky was lost for words. She stared at the girl, her mouth slightly open, at a loss of what to say.
'Morello…I don't know how the fuck you even come up with this shit! You've literally taken a well-known saying, reversed it and invented an explanation to go with it? I mean, what the fuck even is that!'
'You're just acting up because you know I'm right.' She caught Nicky's eye in the mirror and arrogantly raised her eyebrow at her. Nicky stood up and ran her hand through her hair, leaving it there a moment while she took in the sight of Lorna. She had turned away from the mirrors when she saw Nicky stand. Leaning back against the wall, she laid her short legs straight in front of her, her booted feet hardly even dangling off the mattress.
Nicky held in a smirk. She took great amusement in knowing that Litchfield didn't have pants short enough for Lorna and the waistline actually sat just mere inches from her bra. She had always loved how petite Lorna was. And however much it sometimes grated on Nicky when she was in a bad mood; she loved the childish naivety Lorna possessed. Nicky had never had a sweetly childish or naïve air about her in her life so she found this aspect of Lorna utterly charming.
Another thing Nicky enjoyed was proving she was right. And however much of a hold Morello's seemingly innocent charms had on her, the girl still needed to be educated.
'Alright Morello. Listen to me now.' Lorna crossed her arms in defiance and slouched even further back, her baggy top pulling up over her neck. She looked like she was drowning in her khakis.
'So, Chapman's friend was trying to cover up what Piper had already guessed right? So by acting dumb and pretending she knew nothing, she was pulling the wool over Chapman's eyes.' Lorna pretended to fall asleep. Nicky kicked her boot with slight force.
'Hey! Fucking listen up, I'm teaching you some important shit here kid. So, the wool was being pulled over Chapman's eyes because her obviously slutty friend was trying to cover up the fact she let Piper's shitty fiancé – ex-fiance, whatever – put his dick in her. She was trying to cloud Piper's vision, hide the truth – pull the wool OVER her fucking eyes. You get it?' Nicky had crossed her arms now, standing tall and looking down at Lorna still slouched on the bed but staring defiantly back at her. However, Nicky noticed a glimmer of confusion and doubt in the wicked gaze of hers.
She liked the tough, sarcastic side of Lorna. The part of her that would stand up for herself and others; the bite in her could be ferocious. And not many noticed that side of her – most of the other inmates took Lorna at face value. They assumed she was just a pretty face. Bright eyes with no bright ideas. Well-meaning but annoyingly optimistic for an inmate serving 34 month sentence. The side of Lorna, so full of sass, wit and that magnificent, wicked bite, was only known to those closest to her.
And Nicky was extremely smug about the fact that she had seen way more of it than anybody here. It was one of the main reasons Nicky had an even bigger boost of arrogance in her strut and smirk than ever before.
An obviously fake cough from the cube entrance startled both Nicky and Lorna out of their intense stand-off. Piper was standing there, the usual wounded look on her face. Piper could annoy the hell out of Nicky most of the time, but she liked her for reasons she wasn't sure. Lorna pulled herself up a little, a big smile and the wide, friendly eyes now on her face.
'Hey Chapman!' Her voice was high pitched, even for Lorna.
'Who was trying to pull the wool over my eyes?' She completely ignored Lorna, her tone blunt. Nicky rolled her eyes at the dramatic tone.
'Fucking hell, if it isn't Piper 'All-Knowing' Chapman. You don't miss one thing in this fucking place do you?' Piper's jaw clenched. Nicky laughed. 'And although you haven't brought a ray of sunshine into Morello's humble cube, you have proved my point.'
She turned back to Lorna.
'See Morello? She said 'over'. Two against one kid.'
Piper looked from one to the other, frowning in confusion.
'Alright, Morello told me about your shitty friend fucking your sort of fiancé but she got the 'Pull the wool over your eyes' saying wrong. I'm trying to educate her but she's a difficult student.' Lorna slyly raised an eyebrow at that.
'Oh, but maybe it's like the whole 'could care less/couldn't care less' thing-'
Lorna stood up and groaned in frustration, interrupting Piper.
'Why does everyone bring that up? Everybody knows it's could!' She grabbed her scarf and jacket. Piper walked away, smiling at Lorna but her mind was clearly elsewhere. 'Anyway, I gotta go drive the van.'
As she went to pass Nicky, she stopped, and put her face quite close. Nicky could smell her sweet contraband perfume. The teasing gleam was back in her wide eyes.
'And you know you like it when I'm difficult, Nichols.' She murmured quietly before turning away and walking out of the cube. Nicky shouted her just as she neared the doors to leave the Suburbs.
'Hey, Morello!' She spun around, her head tilted slightly to the right. 'I couldn't care less.' Nicky bit lightly on her tongue as she watched the girl. Lorna stuck her middle finger up at her as she carried on walking out, but not before Nicky caught a glimpse of those pretty red lips smiling.
A/N: Writing just fluff was different for a change. I love the oblivious ignorance of Lorna in contrast to Nicky's self-aware intelligence so yeah. Please review if you want.
