Disclaimer: This is set in an A/U, I do not in anyway own Stargate characters or settings.

Author's note: I hope you enjoy this story with a sense of humor, the first few chapters are short but they beef up quick so stay with me, as always please read and review.

The Problem at Hand

Chapter 1: The Day Things got Weird

I want to tell you a story about the strangest thing I have ever even heard of. It seems like fiction, but it happened and it happened to me and my best friend... Do you have a favorite show? Of course you do, I am sure you watch the marathons that come on from time to time. That is how it all started, with a TV and a Stargate SG 1 marathon.

I sat on my couch with a plop and offered my best friend, Kali, some popcorn, "Thanks for coming over, it gets lonely when Jason is gone." She looked at me and said, "Come on Riley, like I'd miss 24 hours of watching Daniel and you mocking me for it. So, how long does Jason have to go?" I sighed, "Still about six months, he should be having his R & R leave soon though." I looked around taking a mental inventory. Chips, popcorn, soda, energy drinks, everything needed for a 24 hour marathon and so the marathon began. It was about ten and one the last episodes of this particular marathon when the weather report came on. "No, why do they have to do this now! We'll miss the beginning and I like this episode." Kali was standing up staring angrily at the TV as it stated that a lightning storm was going to pass over our city. "Kali, you like every episode. Besides, it's over and before it started too." I shuddered at the thought of a storm, "I hate storms, glad I'm not alone."

The show started and we watched yet another episode with a surprising amount of excitement, I of course made fun of Kali's crush on a fictional character and she made fun of my lack of show history. This went on and on and on until the last episode of the marathon was about to start. I got up for a drink and looked out the window. "Wow, it looks horrible out there, maybe we should check the weather?" Kali gave me a murderous look, "Touch the remote and lose the hand, besides if it gets bad, the news will interrupt." I agreed and we began to watch what would most definitely be the strangest SG 1 ever.

The show started out normal enough; it opened to Carter, O'Neill, and Teal'c standing in front of the gate, at Stargate Command, waiting to go through. Daniel comes running up to stand next to them. "Nice of you to joins us Dr. Jackson." Jack said a bit nonchalantly. Daniel rolled his eyes as Walter dialed the gate. There was a brief silence as Walter's voice echoed in the room, "Wormhole Stabilized."

At that precise moment a flash of light nearly blinded us and for a second everything seemed fine. Then we noticed the strange realism of the event horizon, followed by Teal'c, Daniel, Carter, and O'Neill walking through the gate and INTO MY LIVING ROOM! Then the TV shut off and the edges of the screen looked as if they had been set on fire. As SG-1 looked around my living room, the only words I could find were, "You broke my TV!"

Kali and I later came to the conclusion that 'them's were fightin words' because in seconds they had their weapons pointed at us. I think Kali was still in shock, so I had to say it, "Yea, cause we're gonna attack you with our popcorn, it's extra buttery, so it will be a slow death. When it reaches your arties you're gonna be goners" By this time they lowered their weapons and Daniel looked at O'Neill, "I think we found your people." Carter was staring at Kali as if looking for something. "Sir, I think she's going into shock." He looked from Carter to Kali a few times before turning to me, "Hey you, with the popcorn. What's wrong with her?"

I glanced over at Kali to see that she did in fact look like she was going into shock. "Well she is probably freaked out that four people appeared in our living room out of thin air." O'Neill removed his sunglasses to get a better look at me, "Aren't you freaked out?" I looked him directly in the eye as Carter moved forward to check on Kali. "I have toddlers, nothing scares me anymore" Jack raised an eyebrow, "Just what kind of toddler's do you have?" I ignored him and looked to Daniel, "You might want to go to the other room, Kali over there is bound to come out of shock soon and when she does she will attach herself to you." Daniel glanced to his companions nervously and then turned his eyes back to me. "Um…Why?" I smiled trying to think of a delicate way to put things, "She has a weird thing for glasses and boonies…." O'Neill chuckled, Carter stopped checking on Kali to look at Daniel and smile, Teal'c raised an eyebrow. No sooner than that, Kali, as predicted, attached herself to Daniel. Teal'c was the only one to say anything with a resounding, "Indeed"

The next few minutes were awkward, I tried to pry Kali off of Daniel, Teal'c kept looking around the room with a look that I decided was mild interest, and Carter and O'Neill were talking, quietly but very fast. Kali and I were back on the couch when O'Neill said rather loudly, "So it's decided we are still on earth" I don't know if it was the large amount of energy drink or the 24 hour marathon that resulted in sleep deprivation, but we both decided that telling them that they walked out of my TV was a bad idea and we might as well have fun with that. Kali stared at them with a smirk on her face, "Were else would you be?" At this point I was still hopeful that I was just having a really disturbing dream.

I think we all decided it was time to actually talk to each other because O'Neill stepped forward, "I'm Col. Jack O'Neill, and this is Major Samantha Carter, Dr. Daniel Jackson and T….Murray" Kali looked at Teal'c , "So…Murray…just Murray, huh. Is that kinda like Madonna or Cher?" Teal'c raised an eyebrow and simply nodded.

Kali grinned at me before turning to them, "I'm Kali Morgan, and she is Riley Marsh, and you broke her TV." O'Neil looked a little irritated at us, "What the hell is so important about a TV, like you said we appeared out of nowhere, shouldn't you be concerned about that." Kali stood up, I suspect she forgot who she was speaking to, "Well other than the big Hockey game tomorrow, we were in the middle of a S…Wormhole X-tream marathon!" I just stood there trying to keep a straight face, it wasn't working. O'Neill coughed nervously and Sam said, "Really, that show? Didn't find the science a little off?" Kali didn't miss a beat, "Well I'm no theoretical astrophysicist, but I found that archeologist pretty damn hot." At that Daniel stared at the floor blushing. Then the awkward silence struck, I began to wonder if we should tell them…Nah this was too much fun.

Kali must thinking the same thing because she started humming the Stargate theme song, granted they no idea, but it almost too much. It took all of my will power but I managed to change the subject before I keeled over from internal laughing. "So, how did you guys end up in my living room?" Jack had taken off his sunglasses a while ago, so we all saw him look around at everyone in the room, then back to Carter, "Um…Carter, any ideas?" She gave him a frustrated look, "Frankly sir, I don't know how we got here." Another awkward silence began except this time we all started to stare at each other as we tried to understand the situation. After awhile, Kali leaned closer to me, "Murray's staring is kinda creepy….I'm going to get my teddy bear." Jack coughed a little, "You still have a teddy bear?" I shook my head and smiled, "Jack, don't you know anything, you're never too old for a teddy bear." Kali went to her stuff and dug out her teddy bear, bringing it back to the couch for everyone to see. Everyone one did see it and stared at it with mild shock. The teddy bear in question was sporting a Green Vest, Glasses, and a Boonie Hat. Jack Smirked, "Hey Daniel, it's you!" Daniel blushed and promptly shot Jack a dirty look, "Shut up." Kali smirked, "Well, You can have my Boonie Bear, if I can have yours." I looked at her, also with a dirty look, "Kali!" O'Neill turned to Teal'c, "Sounds like a fair trade, don't ya think." Teal'c replied with a almost bored look, "No O'Neill, I think this trade would be unwise."

Kali stood up, "Oh come on, it's not like you keep him around for his linguistic skills, he's barley said anything since you got here." O'Neill snorted back laughter and Daniel look at her with mild shock, muttering under his breath, "but I am a linguist."

I felt an eyebrow rise on my face, "Well then Dr. Jackson, enlighten us with you communication skills. We were watching TV before and when you got here, you can see the couch indentions. What, exactly, were you doing?" I know that I probably shouldn't have been so straight forward, but it had to be asked. Besides, I was curious about that and their answer almost guaranteed an interesting answer from them.

The team looked at each other for a moment before Carter answered, "We work with Deep Space Telemetry." Kali and I looked at each other and seemed to read each other's thoughts. We were both thinking that, one, that was the weakest answer ever and the look on Carter's face said that she knew it. Two, Messing with them was turning out to be the most fun I have had in a long time. Then I thought to myself, that maybe all the people who thought we were evil, were on to something.

Kali smiled, "Um…What exactly does Murray do in deep space telemetry?" Teal'c again raised an eyebrow. Before anyone could respond, Kali continued turning to Teal'c, "Are you 'Boonie Bear's' body guard, cause seeing as I just got past you, you're not doing a great job." This earned a loud chuckle from O'Neill, Carter tried, but failed to hide a smile, Daniel started to cough a lot, and Teal'c suddenly lost the ability to blink.

I took the opportunity to ask them the burning question, "How does Deep Space Telemetry explain how you got in my living room?" They looked very surprised that this question came up. O'Neill leaned forward, "Actually we haven't had to explain much about our job." He said that like it explained everything, and sat back really sure there would be no more prodding. I glanced at Kali to see her nod already seeming to know what I wanted to say next. Looking back toward the team I said, "Deep Space Telemetry in Cheyenne Mountain always seemed a little off, who is your commanding officer?"

They could not hide the surprise on their faces, even Teal'c's face held a glimmer of surprise. Jack studied me and Kali for a while, I think trying to figure out just how we were related to the military, "How could you know that?" looking to his team, he asked again. "How could they know that?" Kali smiled, "We are Um….accustomed to military life. We are only 15 minutes from Fort Hood after all." Daniel held up a hand, "Wait! Were in Texas?" I nodded, "You never asked, for explorers you forget a lot" All of the SG team's heads snapped up to look at me, right then. They all knew they had never said anything about being explorers. Smack Kali had hit me in the back of the head. "What did you do that for?" I asked, holding my head. Smack She hit me again as soon as my hand moved, "Explorers? What were you thinking?" I was still holding my head, looking confused when it dawned on me. "Oops." Slowly Kali and I turned our eyes from each other to a team of explorer's expecting a really good explanation. O'Neill, Carter and Daniel all said at the same time, in the same scary tone, "Well?"

I shrugged, "Would you believe, we're physics?" I smiled one of those large fake smiles. They shook their heads no. Kali jumped in, "You won't believe us…." I nodded in agreement, "It's crazy…Impossible even." Jack, who was now standing, grew impatient, "Spit it out already!"

Then I said it, "Alright…alright. The truth is… you came from a TV show and walked out right out of our TV." There was a second of Silence…two seconds of silence… Then we heard Kali say in an overly dramatic way. "Dun Dun Duuuuuun." Irritated I said, "Kali…..Shut Up!"

Next Chapter: Questions and Answers

Hope you stick around to see how we convince them we're not crazy…well, that crazy any way…