A/N: hey guys!!! I'm taking an FF break soon, (only a week long) so I wanted to post this one-shot first. I just wrote it out of nowhere. I was listening to the song (November Rain) and I remembered an article I read a while ago saying that this was one of "Niley's" songs. it has always reminded me of them and I don't think there it another FF about this song so I though it would be perfect. :]
Disclaimer: I don't own ANYTHING, even if I do wish I owned Guns N' Roses :[
Its funny how much things have changed. It seemed like just yesterday I had the three best friends, anyone could ever have. Its true they were the best, best-friends any one could ask for. Each of them brought me something different, the oldest and his protectiveness, wisdom, and strength, the second oldest and his amazing humor, loud laugh, and just altogether craziness. Then there was him. If you would of asked me about a year ago I would have had a never-ending list of things about him, but now all I can think of that he brought into my life was pain, heart-ache, and tears.
When I look into your eyes
I can see a love restrained
But darling when I hold you
Don't you know I feel the same
Its truly funny, about a year ago these boys would be beating up any one who made me this way, now they are the reason I am currently curled up in a ball on my hardwood floors, tears seeping through my eyes, and blasting November Rain, in an attempt to drown out my sorrow.
'Cause nothing lasts forever
And we both know hearts can change
And it's hard to hold a candle
In the cold November rain
This has always been one of our songs, which is weird because we couldn't ever relate to it more then the fact that we love, or should I say loved each other. Still the lyrics are beautiful, even if they do bring so much pain to my aching heart.
We've been through this such a long, long time
Just trying to kill the pain
When we first broke up, well he did the "up" I was the only one who "broke", I used to try and get rid of all of this pain. I turned to any one who so much as smiled at me. That's how I found Mandy. Sure she didn't have the cleanest record, and the tabloids hated her, but she made me feel special when those boys made me feel like dirt
But lovers always come and lovers always go
An no one's really sure who's letting go today
Walking away
If we could take the time
To lay it on the line
I could rest my head
Just knowing that you were mine
All mine
So if you want to love me
Then darling don't refrain
Or I'll just end up walking
In the cold November rain
Time is what he said he wanted. But I don't think time is a year and him dating another girl. I used to be friends with her, heck I used to be friends with everyone. But then they happened. I was so caught up in being their friend that I made the mistake of not making friends with anyone else. At the time I didn't need anyone else, They were my every thing and I thought I was theirs, but I guess I wasn't considering what we are now.
Do you need some time... on your own
Do you need some time... all alone
Everybody needs some time... on their own
Don't you know you need some time... all alone
I know it's hard to keep an open heart
When even friends seem out to harm you
But if you could heal a broken heart
Wouldn't time be out to charm you
This was my favorite part of the song, and sadly his too. I really thought about the lyrics for a minute. It truly is hard, so hard to keep an open heart after all I've gone through. And now since I became famous and lost the only friends I could ever really trust, I don't know who loves me for me, and who loves me for the fame.
Sometimes I need some time...on my own
Sometimes I need some time...all alone
Everybody needs some time...on their own
Don't you know you need some time...all alone
And when your fears subside
And shadows still remain
I know that you can love me
When there's no one left to blame
So never mind the darkness
We still can find a way
Nothing lasts forever
Even cold November rain
This part of the song made me go into hysterics, because it's so true. The cold rain is just every thing he made me. He made me so broken, so scared, so unlovable. The only comfort I got from this was the fact that it wouldn't last forever, one day the skies will clear and as pathetic as I am, I will be waiting for him.
Don't you think that you need somebody
Don't you think that you need someone
Everybody needs somebody
You're not the only one
You're not the only one
The final lines of the song boomed through out my whole wing of my house, and then came the sound affect of the raindrops colliding with the pavement. I decide to get up, I used my wobbly legs to walk over to my mirror above my dresser. I looked deep into my reflection, forced my self to stop crying, and then made a promise to myself. as much as I love these boys, I am going to move on. I am going to be happy while the November rain is falling and I will love but never with my whole heart. and then when it clears and the clouds are gone, I know I can reopen my heart for real, and fall back in love with him.
A/N: thanks for reading and I hope you liked it. this is my first One-shot so I hope I did OK. please review, it makes my day.
the song is November Rain, by Guns N' Roses. which I don't own sadly.
