Title: Broken Wings

Author: Kerianne H.

Spoilers: Make sure you're up to date on happenings in the latest Asuka installments. If you aren't, you'll be spoiled, and the fic won't make sense besides. o.O

Warnings: Shounen-ai, death, insanity

Chapter One:

She awakened slowly, when the first rays of a hesitantly rising sun crept across the bed and onto her face. At first she couldn't quite remember where she was, or what she was doing there; the room was blindingly white and pristine, so much so that it hurt her eyes for a moment.

She tried to sit up, and found then that she was not alone.

That realization was enough to awaken her fully, to release the memories that had been held in check by drowsiness, and a soft blush heated her cheeks as she remembered. Yes... remembered everything. But if she had not been able to look down into the face of the boy lying beside her, to feel the sensation of skin against skin that had been so unfamiliar at first, she would have been convinced that it had all been a dream.

He was still asleep. Slowly, gently, she disentangled herself from his arms and sat up, turning so that she could watch him more easily. It occurred to her that he looked paler and somehow younger than she had expected. The radiance of the night before had faded, allowing the true extent of his injuries to show through, and she felt almost guilty about what they had done when she remembered that he had been on the verge of death. However, despite his injuries, there was a small, contented smile on his lips, and he seemed utterly relaxed.

She smiled, against her will, and leaned down to kiss him on the forehead. Her lips brushed against cool, smooth skin, tickled by the unruly fall of his dark hair. If he had opened his eyes then, he would have been greeted by an ethereally beautiful sight; her long dark hair falling in a thousand thick strands around his face, surrounding him, accenting the curves of her body below.

But he slept on, no doubt occupied by sweet dreams of his maiden. She smiled again, wondering at the simple joy that the sight of him was stirring within her. Had there ever really been a time when she had felt nothing but irritation toward him? It seemed so impossible now for her to believe that she had not always loved him for his wit, his bravery, his utter devotion to her and to his destiny.

Destiny... She paused, feeling as if a shadow had suddenly passed over the brilliance inside her. Why did that word suddenly make her feel so... strange? Empty, somehow...

Thoughtfully she turned her eyes to her left hand, the hand that housed her sacred powers, lifting it slowly in front of her eyes and gazing into the palm. It was an action that often calmed her, reminding her that she was not helpless. But today it looked like any other hand, small and white and slender. And as she stared at it, it began to tremble.

It was gone...

She crumpled over suddenly, pulling the perfect white sheets tight around her bare shoulders, and her soul cried out for the loss of her innocence.

* * * * *

Whole.

It was the first word that came to mind when Subaru opened his eyes and found that both were functioning. The world that had been flat and lifeless for so long had suddenly gained a thousand little shadows, nuances and dimensions. But it was more than that. Something in his soul that had been empty was now filled, and while it did not make him happy, it gave him a sort of dark satisfaction all the same.

"Do you like it?"

He lifted his striking gaze-- one eye flat emerald, the other slyly gleaming gold-- to regard the one who had made it all possible. What would have been unthinkable for modern medicine took a minimum of effort for the /Kamui/, simply because he had wished it to be so.

Subaru's lips twitched into something like a smile. "I do," he said softly.

"I'm glad." Fuuma stepped closer, and his eyes gleamed ferally. "I'll be honored to invite you into our ranks, Sumeragi-san. But first..."

"You want to make sure I'll be loyal," Subaru finished in a toneless voice.

Fuuma looked faintly amused. "No offense meant, of course. But you of all people should understand that we cannot risk betrayal."

The significant tone in Fuuma's voice gave Subaru the impression that the other man expected him to react to the statement. He did not wish to give Fuuma the satisfaction of getting to him, so he simply nodded calmly. "Tell me what I need to do, and I will do it."

Smile widening, the /Kamui/ moved still closer and whispered into Subaru's ear.

He did react then, eyes widening a little at the poisonous words spoken in such a casual, silky tone. An innocent... He felt a bit of the old Subaru surging up within him, the one that wanted nothing more than to help people, the one who would have considered such an act as Fuuma was expecting from him barbaric and unimaginable.

Fuuma pulled back so that he could see the expression on Subaru's face. The onmyouji's eyes were fixed on some faraway place beyond Fuuma, betraying none of the contradictory thoughts swirling in his mind. This was the ultimate betrayal. This was a chance to cause pain beyond belief, to destroy a single life and begin a domino effect that could ruin hundreds. The kind and trusting little boy locked deep inside him was horrified; he could feel him recoiling, hear the trembling voice imploring him to turn back, to reject this new destiny.

And suddenly, from some other part of him, a new voice rose, loud and clear and impossible to ignore. He didn't recognize it at first; it had been so long since he had heard it. For some reason it stirred in him bittersweet memories of love and betrayal, and he realized then that he knew those honeyed but dark tones. He paused, and listened to their words.

This is your destiny... you must take it, and not look back... for me... Subaru-kun...

He closed his eyes for just an instant, feeling a sharp flare of pain deep within him at the sound of the old nickname, spoken with the old tones of amusement and affection. The pain was soon replaced by that odd feeling of wholeness-- not quite happiness, but almost, as close as he could get now, maybe-- and he opened his mind to the voice, and welcomed it, and it became a part of him.

He became aware of a voice speaking outside his mind then, and opened his eyes to the sight of Fuuma smirking at him. "I hate to rush you, but I'm really going to need a decision soon. Say yes, and you'll be one of us, no questions asked. Say no, choose to protect your friends, and you'll die an honorable death at my hands. Really, it doesn't matter to me either way." The younger boy spread his hands wide in a shrugging gesture, watching Subaru with a closeness that betrayed his casual, indifferent words.

Don't look back, Subaru-kun, the voice urged again, and Subaru felt himself sinking into its velvet softness. We are finally as one-- isn't this what you've always wanted? If you want us to be together-- forever-- you have to forget your old teammates... they are foolish, their crusade can only end in death. Together we will be something that death cannot control.... one life is not such a great price to pay after all...

One life. Not so long ago, that one life had been his sister's, and Subaru had vowed to find vengeance. He had found it-- or so he thought. Now, that very monster who had destroyed his universe was urging him to respect his memory. To become him.

For me, Subaru-kun...

A small shudder seized the onmyouji's painfully slender form, but his eyes on Fuuma's never wavered. "I accept."

Thank you, Subaru-kun...

And the boy inside gave one last wailing cry, and died.

* * * * *

"It's... not too late, you know..."

"Not too late for what?"

She paused, bit her lip, and continued. "For you to... well... go back home with your family where you belong, and let me handle this myself."

He turned his head slightly to look at her as they hurried along, hair ruffled by the wind that was for once not of his own creation. She hazarded a glance at his expression; she had already known that he would be giving her one of those looks, somewhere between deep understanding and long-suffering patience, that always made her feel deeply guilty for some reason she couldn't quite understand. "I already told you, Karen-san. We're a team. There's no reason why you should have to deal with this alone."

Karen sighed. "If you insist." But I'm not going to let anything happen to you, she vowed silently, closing her eyes and concentrating on her movements as they bounded almost effortlessly across the rooftops of Tokyo. Even if it means I have to...

She stopped herself, afraid that if she gave the thoughts any substance, they might come true. If given the chance, she knew she would take it without hesitation; however, that didn't mean she was particularly looking forward to death. In fact, it terrified her, but the thought of standing by safe and sound while he was killed was more terrifying somehow. He mattered so much to so many people; she mattered to no one. She had long ago accepted this, and decided that if she could not make a difference in life, she would have to make one in death.

And it hadn't taken much thought for her to realize that he was the only one she wanted to make such a sacrifice for. After all, he was the only one who had seemed to see her as a human being, someone of worth, rather than a monster or a pawn or a piece of meat. She had loved him from the first day she met him, and she'd been in love with him for nearly as long. However, seeing as he was happily married, she wanted nothing more from him than a chance to give back a little of what he had given her.

"Karen-san!" She felt him grab her arm, and realized they had reached their destination. "You nearly went right by it," he scolded good-naturedly. "You're awfully preoccupied..."

Karen attempted a smile. "Just... thinking."

Seiichirou returned the smile, understanding in his warm hazel eyes, and pressed her hand reassuringly. "We'll be fine," he assured her, emphasizing the "we".

Wish I had your confidence, she thought, wondering exactly how he managed to be so cheerful when the very real possibility of death was staring them in the face. Of course, they had taken on the Dragons of Earth before, and had emerged relatively unscathed; however, she had had a strange sense of foreboding ever since Hinoto had given them this mission.

Restlessly the duo began to circle the roof of the clock tower, pausing every so often to look down at the busy streets below. The clock tower, being the most prominent landmark in Ginza, was certainly the most likely place for the kekkai to be located; however, neither of them would put it past the Angels to come up with some kind of sneak attack, so they were both on the highest alert.

Karen was staring down at the tiny panorama of people and cars and sidewalks when she felt a strong breeze ruffling her hair. Turning around, she expected to see Seiichirou playing with his wind powers again. He was a few feet away, however, occupied with standing guard, and there was no sign of where the breeze that had disrupted the still air had come from. Although it would have been perfectly natural under any other circumstances, Karen felt a chill.

Then the chill multiplied itself several times over, because right before her eyes, contrasting with the extreme blue of the sky, a very small, pink sakura petal was floating gently to the ground.

"Aoki-san..." She edged carefully away from the tiny petal, as if it were a bomb ready to explode.

"Yes?"

"The Sakurazukamori... is dead... right?"

"Yes. He is dead."

The response came not from Seiichirou, but from somewhere above both of them. They both spun around, seeing nothing at first; then, suddenly, the space that had been occupied by only air was taken up by a tall figure in a long black coat.

Karen gave a little gasp, convinced that she was looking at a man risen from the grave. After closer scrutiny, she realized that this was not Seishirou. Seishirou's face had not had the fragile, feminine beauty of this man's. The single green eye caught her attention, and all at once she recognized Sumeragi Subaru.

"Sumeragi-san..." She heard Seiichirou's surprised voice address Subaru. "Where have you been? We've all been worried about you..."

"No need to worry." He continued to speak in a flat, toneless voice. "It's all been worked out now. Everything."

"I'm glad to hear that," Karen said with a deep sigh of relief. The thought that the Sakurazukamori had returned from the grave had been a terrifying one.

"I'm going to take care of everything," he went on, as if he hadn't even heard her. "I just needed some time to think, but now I've made my decision, and things are going to change."

"Kamui will be glad to know you're back," Seiichirou said in his usual cheerful manner. "He's been really upset, blaming himself and all that. You'll go to see him soon, won't you?"

Subaru smiled, and for some reason Karen felt another chill creep up her spine. "Yes. I will certainly be going to see Kamui soon."

Something wasn't right. Karen kept her eyes fixed on Subaru's slender form, examining him closely, trying to figure out exactly what it was that was bothering her so much about the whole situation. Beside her, Seiichirou kept making cheerful small talk. "Yuzuriha as well. You know she hates to see anyone in pain. She'll be thrilled to know that you're all right."

"Will she?" Again that cryptic, unsettling smile.

"We all will. You're an invaluable member of our team, Sumeragi-san, and we were all so sorry about what happened to you..."

"No need to be sorry anymore. Everything has worked out... perfectly." His eyes locked onto Karen's suddenly, and with a sharp intake of breath she realized exactly what it was that was different about Subaru.

"Your eye..." she breathed.

Subaru shrugged elegantly. "A simple procedure. I feel so much better now. After all, it's always best to keep your loved ones close."

In the time it took Karen to realize exactly what he meant by that remark, he had disappeared in a swirl of petals. Heart racing, she turned slowly to face Seiichirou. The editor looked bemused; then, slowly, realization spread across his face as well, and he met her gaze with an equal amount of apprehension.

"I think we're in trouble," she said softly.

As if on cue, the sky around the tower faded swiftly from light blue to black, and something like thunder tore through the clock tower and made the ground they were standing on tremble ominously. The outside world slowly melted away into the blackness, and there was only the two of them, alone in a world of nothing.

"What... was that?" Seiichirou asked, voice shaking a little.

"I think... I think it's one of those illusions... a maboroshi..." Karen's voice sounded none too stable either. Her mind was still reeling from Subaru's apparent betrayal, and she was far too aware of the fact that she and Seiichirou were utterly at his mercy. Of course, he had the advantage on his own territory.

"Very good, Kasumi-san." The voice that addressed them now was nothing like Subaru's usual quiet, flat tone. It was malignant, twisted, mocking... truly worthy of a Sakurazukamori. "Of course, I can't expect you to understand it... not the way I do. I can't expect you to recognize the beauty of it." Subaru appeared slowly, still wrapped in the black trenchcoat. His mismatched eyes were lit up with an insane light. "It is beautiful. Just as he was. He was always so beautiful, and always so distant. But now... now he's a part of me, and he can never leave me again. Now we'll be together forever."

He's lost his mind, Karen thought desolately, listening to the new Sakurazukamori ramble on in that same mocking, unhinged tone. He's gone completely insane. How are we supposed to fight that?

She felt Seiichirou squeeze her hand, and gratefully returned the gesture. No matter how powerful Subaru may be, no matter how merciless, the simple fact remained that there were two of them, and one of him.

"How sweet," Subaru said venomously, catching sight of the small display of solidarity. "I wonder what your wife would think of that, Aoki-san?"

Karen felt him flinch a little.

Subaru's lips curved into a mockery of a grin. "I don't know... Shall we ask her?" And slowly, beside him, another figure faded into view.

Seiichirou went rigid, and his hand in Karen's trembled.

The woman was not physically restrained, but from the blank look in her eyes and the stiffness of her figure, it was obvious that she was under some kind of hypnosis or spell. She was lovely, small and slim, with long dark hair and delicate features.

There was a long silence. Subaru was obviously waiting for one of them to break down and speak. Predictably, Seiichirou could not stay silent forever. "Why?" he demanded, in a soft but barely restrained voice. "Why are you... She hasn't done anything! Why bring an innocent person into this whole ridiculous mess?"

Karen felt her heart breaking at the pain and terror in his voice. Unsure of what to do, she finally settled for pressing closer to him in an attempt to remind him that he wasn't alone, as he had done for her only a few moments before. He did not push her away, but did not respond favorably either.

"Why?" Subaru seemed to be honestly thinking it over. Finally he shrugged smoothly and spoke in a pleasant voice. "Because I can."

Karen grabbed Seiichirou's arm just in time to keep him from rushing forward. He whipped around and glared down at her, eyes flashing, looking nothing at all like the gentle and patient man she knew. "Don't get in the way."

She flinched as if she had been slapped, and he must have seen the pain reflected in her eyes, because his face softened and he stopped struggling. "I told you," she murmured. "I'm not going to let you get hurt. If I... if we work together, maybe we'll be able to save as many lives as possible."

"Noble of you, Kasumi-san." Subaru smiled. His hand was trailing absently through the captive woman's long dark hair, and he seemed to know exactly how much the gesture would infuriate Seiichirou. "Such a noble lie you're living."

"You're one to talk about lying, traitor," she spat back.

"Ah, such harsh words. No... I don't believe I am a traitor. If anything, I was betraying myself before... myself and the one I love. But I can't expect you to understand that." He paused, holding Karen's gaze, and spoke in a soft, meaningful, measured tone. "Or can I?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," she snapped, fear wrenching her heart at the emptiness behind the multicolored gaze.

"I think you do. You know exactly what it's like to have a Special Person. Someone you love more than life... someone you would do anything for. And you know what it's like to have that person just beyond your grasp. You can't have him, so you're willing to do anything... anything... for him. Even... betray yourself."

"No... I..." She felt lost suddenly, as if the beliefs she had been so firmly clinging to had suddenly crumbled into nothing and blown away.

"We understand each other, Kasumi-san." His voice had become soothing and gentle. "And I'm offering you the perfect opportunity. I can destroy your competition right now, and I can erase his memory so that he never recalls that this conversation occurred. He'll think she died in a car crash, or a freak accident at home. And in his grief, he'll run into the arms of the one person who's always been there..."

Karen felt nauseous suddenly, sickened by the fact that she was even hearing these words, and sickened even more by that malignant little part of her, deep inside, that identified with them. "You're disgusting," she snapped in a voice that trembled with hate.

"No more disgusting than you, or any of us. You all have the potential to pursue your deepest desires. It's just that most of you spend more time worrying about your conscience and the mask of respectability that you wear for the world. I have simply forgone all that." Subaru's eyes returned to Karen's. "I'm offering to make your deepest, most impossible dream come true," he continued in that soft, lulling tone. "And no one will be any worse off for it. I'll even remove the child from the picture, so the two of you can start off fresh." Another figure appeared, a little girl with an open, friendly face and dark brown hair in pigtails.

Seiichirou made a small choked sound, shaking with the pure effort of staying still.

A sudden wave of shame brought tears to Karen's eyes. Suddenly it all seemed to be her fault; none of this would be happening if she hadn't fallen in love with him, if she had been able to control her thoughts... She took a deep breath, in an attempt to pull herself together, and spoke in as even a tone as she could muster. "I won't deny that some of what you are saying is true. I have been jealous. I have wished, sometimes, that things could be different. However, the simple difference between me and you is that I would never allow another human being to suffer in order for me to find happiness. Never."

Although he was still shaking, Seiichirou managed to give her hand another small squeeze. She felt warmth fill her heart at this; it may have been her fault, but at least she had done the right thing.

Subaru made a soft disappointed sound. "Such a shame, Kasumi-san. You just watched your dreams slip through your fingers. And in the end, it's not going to make a difference."

The temporary warmth faded, replaced by cold fear once again. "What do you mean?"

Subaru smiled cruelly. "I mean that it doesn't matter what you want. I'm going to kill them anyway."

Karen tried to cry out, to rush forward, but to her horror she found herself frozen in place. Beside her, she could tell that the same thing was happening to Seiichirou. Horrified, they watched as Subaru gripped the woman's shoulders, and she suddenly came to life, eyes wild with fear. "Where-- what's happening--" She turned, caught sight of her husband and gave him a desperate, pleading look. "Seiichirou... please... help..."

"Shimako..." His strangled cry made Karen flinch; she could feel the frustration and terror he was experiencing as if it were her own.

Shimako fought, but she was clearly not strong enough to take on a Sakurazukamori, particularly not one as obsessively singleminded as Subaru. Karen could only watch helplessly as Subaru lifted his hand, smirked cruelly, and plunged it through the woman's chest.

The next few moments were a blur; Subaru's concentration had been broken by the act of violence he had committed, so both Seiichirou and Karen found themselves able to move. She didn't know what Seiichirou had done, but she assumed he and Subaru had fought; her only concern was getting the child out of danger, and so she grabbed Yuka while Subaru was otherwise occupied, and ran blindly with the sobbing girl wrapped tightly in her embrace.

She might have been running for seconds or days. In the utter blackness, it was hard to tell. When she felt as if her lungs were going to explode, she had stopped, and collapsed.

Another indefinite stretch of time passed. When she opened her eyes again, both Subaru and the illusion were gone. The sun was just beginning to set over the edge of the clock tower, and life below was going on as usual.

Carefully she got to her feet, set the still-crying Yuka down, and hesitantly approached the motionless figure sitting a few feet away. Seiichirou was slumped over, barely managing to stay upright, arms wrapped limply around his wife's body. He was staring at nothing, a terrifying emptiness replacing the usual warmth and life in his eyes.

"Aoki-san..." Karen murmured hesitantly, tears running freely down her face.

He didn't move or respond in any way, not even when his daughter ran up and threw her arms around him, sobbing heartbrokenly. After a few minutes, Shimako's body began to fade, dissolving into a rain of sakura petals that were soon caught by the wind and swept into the air like a snowstorm. A few of them danced teasingly around Karen's head and tangled themselves into her red curls. She shuddered visibly and plucked them out.

And all the time, the sun continued to set slowly, slipping beneath the perfect view of the Tokyo skyline.