Disclaimer: I do not own anything, except the goats, and even they were based on the yodeling goats from The Sound of Music. Awesome movie, y'all ought to watch it.

Handy-dandy author's note: This randomly popped into my head a while back, and I wrote it a while back, and now this is what we have. And in case anyone was wondering, this is just a short little story and I'm fairly certain I shall not continue it. But don't worry, for I have things with chapters awaiting uploading!



Insomnia had struck again. Malon, the scary singing girl, was standing in the middle of a field, singing, like she did every night for no apparent reason. And no, this was not a field where things were growing. If it had been, she probably would have been run over by a tractor by now.

Wait, did they have tractors then? Never mind.

Anyway, the insomniac freakishly-bright-red-haired girl was singing, as she always did. But then she heard another sound. And it was the strangest sound she had ever heard.

Malon stopped singing to listen. It was coming from the barn. The noise sounded vaguely like singing, except it wasn't any sort of singing she had ever heard before. Soon it was starting to irritate her. So she made up her mind to barge into the barn and surprise whoever was in there.

First, of course, Malon whipped out her Handy Dandy Mallet. If there was anyone evil in the barn, the Handy Dandy Mallet would be the one thing to have with her.

So she crept to the entrance, got her Mallet ready, and flung the door open, only to find…

Some goats.

"Goats? What on earth are goats doing here?" she asked.

The goats stopped making the strange noise. The biggest one looked at her. "Oh, did we disturb you?" it asked with an odd accent. "I'm sorry. We were just passing through and figured this would be a good place to put up for the night. We'll leave if you want."

The fact that the goat was talking to her didn't really register, so she said, "What was that noise you were making?"

Another goat snorted. "It's not noise! It's yodeling! We are the famous Yodeling Goats. By golly, we have been the opening act for the Trapp Family Singers more than once!"

The third goat glared at the second. "Billy, calm down. She doesn't know a thing about the von Trapps, or yodeling, or Austria for that matter."

Billy muttered something incoherent and turned away.

The first goat spoke up again. "I'm Bob. That's Billy, and she's Brigitta."

"Waitaminute…goats are talking to me!" Malon said suddenly. "That's not right! I must be going insane! I need some narcotics!" She ran out of the barn as fast as possible, leaving the Handy Dandy Mallet behind.

Bob looked at Billy. "You know, Billy, you're right. People who aren't Austrian are weird."

"Told ya."

Brigitta picked up the Mallet. "You think she'd want this back?"

"Maybe," Bob said. "But we've scared her enough."

"Let's yodel some more!" Billy suggested.

"Okay!" Brigitta said.

And the goat trio started yodeling again, which irritated the cows.