Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon. If I did, then it wouldn't last as long as it has.
Digiguy: Okay, this is my first try at an angst-type fic. It's basically Kari's life, and it's a very different angst fic because it isn't all angsty; it starts out good, but gets really REALLY bad.
Kari: Why me? Why not somebody else.
Digi-Guy: Because everybody likes you! It sickens me! Even in my other stories you end up being worshipped! Besides, Davis and Ken and all the others have had their share of angst-ridden fics, so why not you?
Davis: You know you're gonna get flamed for writing this, right?
Digi-Guy: Good, I never got flamed before. I wanna see what it's like to be flamed, it could be fun!
Also, sorry to say, you people may realize my blatant love of some characters in my story.
Mimi: Like me
Digi-Guy: Be quiet, woman. See, now they're gonna look for it rather than read and enjoy the story.
Brandon: But Digi-Guy, nobody ever enjoys your stories, remember?
Digi-Guy: Hey, I made you up, and I can just as easily un-make you up.
Brandon:.......................
Digi-Guy: Hmph, that's what I though. And by the way, this isn't related to any of my other stories. I try to keep the plotlines similar, but with this one I didn't feel like it. Okay, second Author Note-I didn't forget about "The Final 'Destined". In fact, it's been done, but I need to have a rewrite. A few of the faithful readers (if any) would remember it as "Digimon USA." I wanted to do some editing and switch up a couple.
Mimi: Me and Brandon had better still be a couple!!!
Digi-Guy: Actually, you might be in a lesbian romance with Maria.
Mimi: WHAT!!! I AM NOT A LESBIAN!!! I LIKE MEN, YOU HEAR ME!!!
Digi-Guy: Sure, Mimi. Hey, do you think the couple category should be called Miria or Marimi?
Maria: Brandon! I can't be a lesbian, I'm a good Catholic school girl! I become a nun, remember?
Digi-Guy: I rewrote you to become a goth-girl, by the way
Maria: Why you little... ***Maria prays, and the hand of God bitch-slaps Digi-Guy across the face***
Digi-Guy: Ow!!! Fine, y'all can still be straight! ~Stupid Maria and her God~
Maria: I heard that!
Digi-Guy: Ah! Okay, just read the story ***Digi-Guy runs away from 10-year-old Hispanic girl like scared little boy***
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Who would have thought I'd end up like this? Kari Kamiya, and I'm lonely. No, wait-lonely is such a temporary word. Rather, I am alone. I've been abandoned by my friends, and even my brother and family don't talk to me anymore. I'm all alone, in my dark and filthy apartment. Not even a home; more of a residency. Everyone has gone on to live their lives just fine. I hear Matt and Sora got married. Sad thing is, I heard it by reading the newspaper. No invitation for Kari. I was the sweet, caring, innocent one of the group. How sad is that? I am far from those things as it gets. The only thing I've got to look forward is to either die of old age or die by my own hands-preferably the latter right about now.
It was today in fact that he told me, "Read this, and then maybe you'll understand." I still have this stupid black binder in my lap. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Maybe I should look back...back, to the beginning.
7 years ago
Today is such a good day. Tai just got accepted to Kyoto University, TK just made the basketball team, and Ken finally got serious and asked Yolei out. Nothing could dent my mood, except...
"Hey, Kari!" Davis yells out to me. Here we go again. This guy doesn't give up. He's had this crush on me for 4 years now, and he just won't let up. Although it is fun to get him to make TK jealous... "Kari, ya wanna go see a movie or something?" Davis asks me.
"Sorry, Davis, but I'm gonna be busy," I say. Sometimes I hope he catches the fact that when I say I'm gonna be busy, it means that I'm going to make up some last minute plans to do tonight so I can at least not have some guilt about turning you down...again. But then I remember-it's Davis, he couldn't catch on to anything unless you wrote it on his arm in small words.
"Sure, OK," he says, seemingly not phased. Just then, the bell rings. "Up, Lit class is starting. You finish that poem?"
"Of course," I say in my sing-songy voice. "I should be asking you, Mr. I-Didn't-Know-We-Had-Homework?" It's fun to do this-he thinks I'm being flirty, when I can make an ever so slight insult to his face. Ain't life grand?
"I did it, all right. And it'll knock the whole class out." He says as we enter the classroom. Gee, I can't wait.
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"I see a blue sky at night, just cuz I choose to do so,
And I see the stars as tiny suns, and the moon as a smiling face,
The cricket chirps are birds that sing, because I don't have a disgrace
Cuz my life is pure and hopeful, with Light that shows me where to go."
Everybody claps in the room when I finish my poem. Ms. Wong stands up and says, "Very good, Kari. Class, notice the A-B-B-A rhyme scheme she uses, whereas she doesn't use a definite syllable pattern. Very good use of style, Kari. Now, that leaves us with only one poem left I believe." She looks at her grading book and her face drops. "Davis Motomiya." Davis stands up and walks to the front of the room.
"Wow, he actually did his homework." My friend Clarissa says.
"Five bucks it's about soccer." Someone says in the back. Davis looks at his paper and begins to recite from it:
"In a far off kingdom, known to all,
A girl lives there, known to some,
She has a secret life, known to few,
And seems happy as can be.
She's known to some as vain and shallow,
She's known to few as caring and kind,
The few say that they're her friends,
Whilst she is away, and not hearing them.
She heard from the few quite frequently,
But their voices became less and less,
While she tried reaching out to them,
All in vain attempts.
There she be, lying in her domain,
A flower in a cell,
All she asks is a ray of light,
All she gets is Hell.
Who's to say that we aren't these few
But never really have known it true
That we live our lives, away from her,
A friend in need, a friend unnoticed.
In a far off kingdom, known to all,
A girl lives there, known to some,
She has a secret life, known to few,
Her pain goes unnoticed, known to none."
Right about now my jaw was agape at this. Davis Motomiya, wrote poetry. Not only that, he wrote a very, VERY good poem. TK is looking at me with this "What the hell" look in his eyes. I probably have the same look myself.
"Mr. Motomiya," Ms. Wong started to breath out. "That...that was one of the most beautiful things I've ever heard. It was very deep, and it had random rhyming patterns that didn't adhere to any rules, yet made up new ones. It even left me thinking about people in my life. How come you never wrote like that before?"
"I dunno," Davis says. My money's on that his sister wrote it. Of course she's in America, but I know HE couldn't have done it. He's Davis!
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"TK, I heard about the poem Davis wrote in Ms. Wong's class," Yolei says, running up to us in the Cafeteria. "Was it that good?"
"It was actually weird, to tell you the truth," TK says. "It was about some lonely girl or something. You'd have to read it to understand."
"Understand what?" Davis says, putting his tray next to mine.
"Your poem," TK says, "where'd you get the inspiration?"
"I dunno, I just started writing stuff until it looked good." He says.
"Davis, can I read it?" Yolei asks. It was one of the few things she's said to Davis recently that didn't come out as an insult.
"I don't have it with me," Davis says, "But Ms. Wong has it posted up on the bulletin board outside her room. Plus I think she's making copies or something."
"Cool, I wanna check this thing out." Yolei says as she rushes away from our table.
"Wow, Davis, you really impressed her," TK says. I couldn't take it anymore-I had to ask the question everyone seems too afraid to ask.
"Did you really write it, Davis?" I blurt out, trying to keep my cheerful tone of voice.
"What? Of course I did!" He exclaims, "What, you think I copied it out of a book or something?" Okay, he seems genuinely angry. Time for damage control.
"I was kidding, Davis," I say sweetly to him. "I loved it."
"Really? You did?" He says with a glint in his eyes. Oh damn, now he has another 'I think Kari likes me' clue in his head. Oh well, why not? He has a lot more of them in there. Where he gets them from, I do not know.
3 years later.
Tai is coming home for fall break! I am so excited over this! Not only him, but Matt and Sora are coming down, too! I am so happy I could explode right now! Unfortunately, I have this little matter to attend to right now-I have to show this new girl around the school. "Hi, my name's Kari." I say. Who knows-maybe I can make a friend today.
"Hey, my name's Chaney," she says. "You don't have to show me everything, really. I know that all the schools in this area of Japan have the same building floorplans, so this is probably just like my old school."
"Well, you sure make my job easy," I say. She's a somewhat large girl with green eyes and blond hair pulled back in a ponytail. She is wearing this yellow blouse and white-khaki pants. I bet she's real smart, since she knows that whole fact about the school floorplans. I know I didn't know that. "How about I introduce you to some of my friends." I suggest. We walk over to my table, where TK and Yolei. "Chaney, this is my boyfriend TK and Yolei. Guys, this is Chaney. She's new here."
"Hey, Chaney," TK says, "What school are you coming from?"
"Tamachi High," She says. That got Yolei started.
"Wow, so you know my boyfriend Ken!" She squeals.
"Ichijouchi? Well, yeah. He sat by me in Physics class." Chaney says, "Great guy to ask for help in anything." As she was saying this, Davis walks by with a thick binder atop a pile of other things. She made this huge sweeping gesture with her hand, and accidentally knocks the binder off and onto the ground. We start to laugh, but Chaney just starts to apologize over and over again. "Oh, I am so, SO sorry about that." She says as she puts the binder back on top of his pile of stuff in his hands.
"Uh, no prob," He mutters out and starts to walk away. To tell you the truth, that's the most I've heard him say since me and TK started to date. I guess he never did get over his crush on me, because he seems so uncomfortable being around the rest of us. He altogether stopped being around us. Not like I'm complaining though...
"Don't mind Davis, Chaney," TK says, "He's just a loser."
"And a dumbass," Yolei adds. Just then, I notice something on the ground where the binder used to be. Looks like Davis dropped this. I read it, and it's the same poem from our Literature class that he read. The only difference is that it has a title: The One We Had Forsaken. Chaney looks at it over my shoulder and reads it.
"Wow, he wrote that?" Chaney says.
"Yeah. He probably still hangs on to it because it's his one achievement in life," I say. Well, it probably is.
"It is so...so wonderful." Chaney says. "I don't know how you think he's such an idiot. No one can be that stupid and write something THIS powerful and deep."
"Yes he can," Yolei says, "It's Davis-he can do anything and still be an idiot at the same time. It's called moron multi-tasking." As the bell rings to warn us of class, Chaney says, "Well, I'll go bring this back to him. I'll see you guys around; nice meeting you."
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It's a nice cool night on the beach, and Tai, Matt, and Sora are sitting around a small fire we made. Tai, of course, brought a case of Bud Lite for us to drink. We were kicking back a few and just talking about what life's been like, how life was before, and so on. The only problem was that, well, HE showed up.
"Davis? What are you doing here?" I ask, surprised that he would be here.
"I invited him," Sora says, sitting in Matt's lap. "He is a friend, after all." Gee Sora, thanks for inviting the Digi-Mistake. That's what I felt like telling her.
"Oh, great," I say. That's what I actually told her. I liked the first idea better. Davis sat next to Sora by the fire. And as you could imagine me, TK, and Yolei were kinda quiet. Tai, being as drunk as he was already, was talking up a storm with Davis. After another 10 minutes, Tai stood up for a 'fun game.'
"Okay, everbody," Tai slurs out, "It's time to play a little game called 'Digidestined Charades.'" He takes a piece of paper and rips it into several smaller pieces, and then writes some names on it. "You guys will each get a name of somebody that didn't bother to show up. You then get to act out that person in any way you want, and we have to guess who it is."
"I think I'll sit this one out, Tai," Matt says.
"Aw, you're no fun!" Sora says. I could tell that she's been drinking quite a few. "Don't worry, Tai, I'll start." She takes the pieces of paper and hands one to each of us (except Matt). Then she looks at hers and starts to wiggle her fingers on the sand. "Prodigious! I've hacked into the Pentagon's computers. Now I can bend the United States into doing what I want. HAHAHA! Oh, and Gennai sent me an e-mail. Now I can go help my friends save the Digital World by confusing them with my vast vocabulary!"
"Izzy!" TK yells, "That is SO Izzy right there!" We all start laughing. Well, except for one person.
Yolei speaks up next, "OK, you go next TK." TK looks at his paper again, and then starts. "Oh my God! You are all drinking! Don't you know that it's illegal to be drinking under the age of 21?!?! I can't believe this, I think I have an ulcer."
"That's Joe!" Tai says, laughing at TK's accuracy in acting like Joe. "Let me go next." Tai clears his throat and says, "Come on Yolei-let's have super hot sex! You'll see why else they call me 'The Rocket'."
"Shut up, Tai!" Yolei says jokingly. "And trust me-they don't call him The Rocket for sex." We all started to laugh our asses off at that.
"Davis," Matt says after he quit laughing, "Do yours now." Davis looked at his paper and stuttered out, "Um...well,"
"He's not talking," Sora says.
"Then it's gotta be Cody," TK says. As we start to laugh, Davis gets up and says, "No it's not Cody, and don't you think it's wrong to be making fun of your friends behind their backs like this?!" Everyone just looked at him. They were probably thinking the same thing I was: who do you think you are telling us how we should behave; it's not like we consider you to be a friend anymore.
"Aw, Davis," Tai says, "You just don't understand that we kid cuz we love."
"Yeah right," Davis retorts, "If you love everybody so much, then how come you haven't spoken with Joe since he left for Med school, and how come Mimi hasn't heard from any of you for 2 years?"
"How do you know, Davis!" Matt says, kind of agitated with him, "For all you know we could be talking to them quite frequently!"
"That's bull shit, and you know it!" Davis yells back. "I talk to Mimi a lot, and she told me she sends you all e-mails-e-mails that you don't bother to reply to." He then points to us three, "And you wonder why I stop hanging out with you! You three are so caught up in being the popular ones in high school that you don't even bother to worry about your friends! If you could forget about Mimi, after all, then I'd hate to see what you'd do to me!"
"Why don't you try us, Davis!" I stand up yelling, "Why don't you just leave, go away, or just jump off a bridge for all I care! Cuz I for one am really sick of your jealousy towards me and TK's relationship! You are just this stupid, obnoxious, egotistical moron who doesn't think of anybody but himself!" I expected him to be hurt, or yell in anger. All I got was a calm, cold sentence.
"You don't understand," He says coldly, "and I suppose you never will." With that, he turned around and walked away from us.
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I can't believe Ms. Wong's teaching us again. I hate this class SO much! She always assigns these stupid writing projects, and now that she's teaching Creative Writing, she's gonna assign a whole lot more.
"Let's see, I remember a lot of you from our previous literature classes, so role call should be easy," She says. She called each of by our names, occasionally getting one of our names messed up. Then she says, "Oh no, I can't believe he dropped out."
"Who?" somebody asks.
"That Davis boy," she says, "And he had such potential, too." Did I hear her right? Davis isn't going to be here anymore? Hooray! What a relief-now we can live our lives without having to face him anymore! I can't wait to tell the others.
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"Guess what," I say to TK as he leaves Trigonometry.
"What?" he and Chaney ask.
"Davis dropped out; he's not coming here anymore!" I squeak out, as giddy as can be.
"Yeah, that's great," TK says. I thought he'd be just as excited as I am. Oh well.
"Oh no," Chaney says, "I kinda liked him."
"I don't see how," I say, "He's just arrogant, obnoxious, stupid, and..."
"Kari," Chaney says, looking at me with this annoyed look, "I've talked to him-he's not one of those things. I don't know where you get that from, but it's just not him at all." The bell rings, and she says, "I gotta go to P.E. I'll see you later," in a rather rushed and quiet manner.
"What the hell is her problem," I say. She must have the hots for him or something; that's the only reason I can think of to defend Davis. "Anyways, you gonna go to the homecoming game tonight?" I ask TK.
"Of course," TK says, "I wouldn't miss seeing you in the Homecoming Court."
(A/N: I somehow doubt that they have Homecoming games in Japan. Especially since they don't have American football. That's why they'll have it on the soccer field! Just my little Americanese mix into the story.)
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I am so nervous right now. I am on the middle of the soccer field next to six of my friends. I don't know why I'm so nervous. I mean, I keep telling myself that this Homecoming Queen thing isn't a big deal, and I don't care if I win or not.
Then why do I not believe myself?
Our principal is at the microphone right now, saying, "And our Homecoming Queen for 2007 is..." He opens the envelope and looks at the card.
Right now, my heart has stopped.
"Miss Kari Kamiya!" he says. I don't believe it...I won! Jannette, last years Queen, places the crown on my head and gives me a bouquet of roses. Everybody is cheering for me; I could've sworn I heard TK yelling "That's my girlfriend! Yahoo!" I'll place money on it, in fact.
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"All hail the queen!" some guy says as I enter the party. People turn and clap and cheer as I walk in. It's getting a little too much, but I'm loving this attention! I feel on top of the world right now; the height of my life even!
"So Kari," Yolei says, obviously a little tipsy, "You are now the reigning Queen of Odaiba High, and the most popular girl around. How does it feel?"
"Just great Yolei," I say, humoring the drunk girl. But I wasn't lying, that's for sure. Just then, one of the soccer players, Zero, comes up to me and gets on one knee. He is holding up a bowl to me, "I'm here to pay homage to you, almighty Queen Kari," He says in this distant yet warm voice.
"Holy crap," I say. I know what he has...it's weed! And lots of if! Tai told me about him and Matt using some before, but he never really went into detail about it. I'm looking at it right now...way too much if you ask me! I never really done it before. Hell, I never smoked ANYTHING before! But I have always wondered about it. Maybe tonight was a night for...experimenting.
"C'mon Kari," Zero says, "TK's in there already." TK? My TK?! Where'd this come from?! Since when did he...but then again, it can't be that bad.
"Fine," I say, "let's go." Oh why not? It's not as if it's that bad for you. After all, cigarettes are much more dangerous, anyways, and even those aren't bad short-term. Besides, once won't be that bad for me. I walk into the room-two guys, and three girls, none of them TK. "Where's TK?" I ask.
"Oh, he's in the bathroom getting some water," Zero says. He sits me down on a plush pillow, while some girl puts a couple of bottles of water by my. "Trust me," she says, "You'll need them." Whatever, I think to myself. I am kinda scared, I gotta admit. Zero puts the bong in front of me. "Now, just breath in through your mouth, and hold it in for as long as possible. Don't worry, I'll handle everything else." He lights up this thing down at the base of it, and I inhale as much of the fumes as possible. I hold my breath, just like Zero says. I don't think I'll last very long; it feels like my lungs with explode.
"*Cough* *Cough* *Hack*," I hack out. How embarrassing is that? I know it's normal with pot, but I feel like I've coughed in everybody's faces (and I probably did).
"Not bad," my friend Clarissa says, "You lasted longer than me, that's for sure. Care to try again?"
"Woah, don't rush the girl Clare," Zero says, "Besides, it's my turn now."
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It's been ten minutes since I first did it, and right now I'm feeling reeeeaaaaalll goooooood. Still no sign of TK, but he's probably drinking lots and lots of water. I know I have. That girl was right, I've been drinking a lot of water. I feel like...like a vacuum is in my mouth and sucking out all the moisture. 'Cotton mouth' is what it's called. I don't like it; it thoroughly sucks. Just then, TK comes in as I'm taking my 4th hit. "Kari!" he yells.
"Hey, TK," I say in a whimsical voice. "Where have you been."
"Looking for you," he says, "Zero, what are you doing?!"
"Allowing Kari to partake in enlightenment," He says. "How 'bout you join, TK?"
"Yeah," I say as I hug his leg, "It's really cool, and it's not bad at all. Matt even does it, right?" TK looks down at me, until he gets on the ground with us. I know he wants to try it out; he told me he wouldn't turn it down if somebody asked him to.
1 years later.
College. It's definitely different from high school. I guess one of the sadder things is that I'm not known and loved by all like I was back then. I hang out mostly with my group of friends-Clarissa, Katie, Zero, Darren, and of course my boyfriend TK. And I'm working with him in the convenience store that Yolei's parents own, too. I can't wait to get off of work right now-the gangs getting together for a smoke-out in my apartment. It's been five whole days since I've done it; I can't go that long!
"Five minutes 'til we get off," I say to TK. Just then, this woman walks in. She's wearing a pink leather mini-skirt and red long sleeve shirt. She has on black high heel boots and a black long sleeve leather jacket with pink feathery cuffs. Her skin is a silky complexion, and her eyes were like drops of warm caramel. Her hair was also a caramel color, too, and it was curled up. I recognized her immediately. It was Mimi! I can't believe, after so long she finally came back to visit us! She comes up to the counter and says...
"Pack of Marlboro Lights, 100s please,"
What? That's it? No, hey Kari nice to see you again. How've you been all this time? Nothing! "Hey, Mimi," TK says, "D...Don't you recognize us?"
"Oh, Kari & TK," She says somewhat dryly, "It's you." What?! What a bitchy thing to say! 'It's you.' Gee, don't get too excited! She puts her money on the counter and takes the pack. "Keep the change."
"Wait, Mimi," I say, covering up my anger with my classic sweet voice "Where...What are you doing in Japan?"
"I just came to see my aunt and uncle," she says, "And now I'm on my way back to New York."
"What, you didn't plan on telling us you were here?" TK says.
"Why should I have?" she says. "So you could ignore me when I'm here, too?"
"What are you talking about," I say, "We never..."
"Shut up, Kari!" she yells, "I needed you all those years ago, and you weren't there for me! None of you were, except for one, and he's not here anymore!"
"I still don't understand what you're talking about, Mimi," TK says in a genuine sympathetic tone.
"Of course you wouldn't," She says. "I tried to contact you all so much, yet neither of you even bothered replying! I needed you when my mother died, and you didn't bother sending a single e-mail or anything! You had all the opportunities in the world; I probably sent 20 e-mails just begging for you to grace me with the time of day! I guess you were too busy with your own lives to get mixed up in my little problems!" I was shocked. I didn't even realize it. Mimi turns around and heads for the door. She opens the door and turns to us again. "I saw Tai today in the park. He's worried about all the nice little habits you've picked up over the years. Maybe you should talk to him before you lose your brother, like you've lost me as a friend." And with that, she left us.
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"Dude, why was she trippin so much?" Zero asked me.
"Who cares, she's nobody anyways," I say. We've been smoking for an hour now, and I've just about forgot about what happened today. Who does she really think she is, just walking back into our lives and making us feel bad about something we didn't know anyways! What were we supposed to do-fly over to New York and give her a hug?
"Um, Kari," TK says to me, "Can we...can we talk alone?" I know what he wants to do. He says talk, but he means we're going to have sex. Why not, we've done it about a hundred other times already. We walk into the other room, where I start to take off my t-shirt. "Kari, I..."
"Less talk, more tongue, TK," I say as I start to feel him up and push his face in my breasts. "It's been 3 days since, and I want you to fuck my brains out!"
"Kari, I can't," TK says. What does he mean 'he can't?' It's not like he hasn't done it before!
"What do you mean, TK?" I say, somewhat annoyed.
"Kari, I don't think we should see each other any more." That was a slap across the face.
"Wha...what to you mean?" I say pleadingly.
"Look, I loved you at one time, but..." He pauses, "well, look at you! You've become a drugged up junky! All you want to do is either smoke pot, do cocaine, take Ex, or fuck! And the sad thing is that you have sex with anybody if I'm not around. Hell, I got 4 witnesses that said you even went down on Clarissa one night after you took too much Ex! I want...something more in a relationship."
"You can't be serious," I say, before yelling, "What do you want from me!? I'm the same person I was since we started dating! It's not my fault that YOU changed! You don't like having fun anymore! You don't want to live life like we should! You act like some old guy or something-worried more about the future than actually living your present."
"And you're stuck in the past, Kari!" TK yells back. "You just haven't grown up! Like what happened with Mimi today. You didn't bother apologizing!"
"You didn't either," I retort back. The nerve of this guy. He is such a hypocrite!
"I caught up with her at the airport before she left." TK says. Damn, so much for hypocrisy. "I looked back at my e-mails; we did ignore her. Her mother died of breast cancer, and she was really torn up about it. She told me only Davis bothered replying."
"Him? Who cares about Davis!?" I yell. "Don't you see, TK? Our lives were supposed to be much better without him! We were able to love without his jealous eyes looking up to us..."
"Kari, don't you understand?" TK says, "You look at everything in this unchanged view. When I talked to Mimi, I realized that we were crueler to Davis than we should have been. But you...you always placed him away from us. I just don't understand why?"
"TK, you are guilty of it too!" I yell, before stopping myself. "And I'm not going to get in an argument over Davis! He's gone, and we've become happier and better off for it! Now come on back and we'll smo..."
"I can't, Kari," TK says. "I'm leaving you. I just don't want to put up with you anymore!" With that, he bolts out of the room and out of my apartment. I run out and see that everybody else had left. I guess they weren't high enough to ignore all the yelling. I fall on the couch and cry as I pick up the already rolled joint. I light it and inhale deeply, holding it all in for as long as I can. I finally release after a minute and allow it to take my mind away.
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*Knock* *Knock* *Knock*
"Ugh," I grunt out as I get up off the sofa. So much stuff I used last night: from pot to crack to painkillers. No wonder I feel so...empty? Nah, I can't feel like that. My life is just as perfect as it always was. Now and forever. Perfect.
*Knock* *Knock* *Knock*
"Okay, I'm coming," I say. I open the door, and I see him. "Tai," I squeak out. He finally cut his hair, and he's dressing kinda nice today, too. "What are you doing here?" I ask, trying to regain my sweet voice. For some reason, it sounds different, almost wrong even.
"Kari, I just came by to see how you were doing," he says, "I heard what TK did last night." Something sounds unusual about how he says that. It's almost as if it's not entirely true.
"Oh, well I'm fine Tai." I say, "I've had time to sort it all out, and I feel like I can move on." Actually I'm still hurting, Tai. I feel betrayed and left alone by somebody I had loved. Why can't you see that? Or, do you care? Is that the only reason you came, or is there something else? "Is that the only reason you came, or is there something else?" I didn't even mean to ask that, and right now I wish I hadn't.
"No, Kari," he says, "Okay, yeah there is!" He yells, grabbing me by the arms. "Look at you, Kari! You've become addicted to every known substance known to man!" He points to my arms, "You're even shooting up God knows what!"
"They're called painkillers, Tai," I say matter-of-factly.
"God damn it, Kari!" He yells, "You're killing yourself with this shit! I should've told you not to even try it, but I felt to ashamed of it when I did it so long ago. Now look at you-you're a pothead, a crack-fiend, and a slut!"
"Fuck you, Tai!" I yell, "I am not any of that! So what if I do a bit of 'experimenting.' I'm young; I can do those kinds of things!"
"NO YOU CAN'T!!!" Tai yells in my face, "You'll kill yourself! Kari, don't you see? Mom and Dad are worried sick about you, I'm worried about you. Come with me, and we'll leave and go home. We can get you some help..."
"I don't want help," I say, "I like my life just the way it is. It's perfect as can be. Always has, and always will be!"
"Kari," Tai says solemnly, "I can't make you do something you don't want to, as much as I'd like to. You have two options: either you come with me and get the help you need, or I'm leaving and never coming back into your life again."
"Then leave!" I yell, "Just leave me alone! I have a life to live, and I don't need you to stop me!"
"Then, goodbye Kari," Tai says. And he closes the door, leaving me. Just like TK. Just like all the others.
3 years later (Present Day)
I'm walking down the streets right now. It's been three years since that happened, and my life is just fine. I quit my job and schooling because I felt like I needed a little break. And I just got a hold of some crystal meth. I feel real good and warm right now, even though it's bitterly cold. I enter this nice bar. More of a night club really. I get a dozen or so stares. I guess they didn't think sweet innocent Kari Kamiya would just waltz right into a night club, huh? I sit at a table and search my pockets. I've got to have some more pills around here somewhere. I look around the room. Neon lights everywhere. It looks kinda retro 80s or something. I then realize that I'm sitting on something. I pick it up off the seat and look at it: a brown torn-up backpack with only a thick black binder inside.
"Excuse me, but I was sitting there," someone says. I get up and say sorry without looking at the man. "That's alright, you can sit here too if you want." I sit in the opposite chair and look up at him. I couldn't believe it.
"Davis," I say weakly.
"Yeah, how'd you know my name?" He asks. What does he mean by that? The nerve of this guy, not recognizing ME!
"Hello! It's me, Kari!" I say. "Same Davis, dense as ever."
"Kari? That...that can't be you," he says.
"Of course it is," I say. "Haven't changed a bit."
"Um, right." He says in an odd tone of voice. "Hey, I gotta be..."
"What, Davis," I say coldly, "Do I still intimidate you after so long?"
"Kari, you don't intimidate me," he says, "You repulse me." I feel like I've been hit upside the head from that. "I don't suppose you looked at yourself in the mirror, but you look like shit! And the sad part is you don't even realize it! You're still acting like everything is just like it was all those years ago. Still not even thinking I've changed."
"Well, you haven't!" I yell, "and neither have I!"
Davis then says, "Kari, I'd feel sorry for you, but I'd rather pity you. It seems more fitting, because you don't even realize what's going on." He takes out his black notebook and says, "Read this, and then maybe you'll understand."
-----------------------------------------------------------
So here I am. I got this stupid binder in my hands, and I open to the first page.
SAMBO: BY DAVIS MOTOMIYA
I THINK I'M EVERYBODY'S SAMBO
THAT'S HOW THEY THINK IF ME,
IT'S AN EVIL WAY TO THINK, I KNOW,
AND THAT'S WHY IT IS HURTING ME.
I REMEMBER WHAT A SAMBO WAS,
THEY WERE PEOPLE THAT WERE ALWAYS CHEERFUL,
THEY WERE CAREFREE AND HAPPY SOULS,
EVEN WHEN PEOPLE ENSLAVED THEM ALL.
WHO SAYS I AM A SAMBO,
WHO EVER SAID I WAS ALWAYS CHEERFUL,
THE FUNNY THING ABOUT MY SOUL, THOUGH,
IS THAT IT'S THE ONLY THING ABOUT ME BLACK.
I read that over and over again. I looked on the back sheet. As if he answered a request, he explains it all on the back.
WHAT THIS MEANS...
EVERYBODY TREATS ME LIKE I AM THIS MORON. SOME FOOLISH BOY WHO DOESN'T KNOW ANYTHING OTHER THAN TO BE THE BUTT OF EVERYONE'S JOKES. I KNOW HOW THE SLAVES IN AMERICA FEEL. THAT'S WHAT THE SLAVE OWNERS STEREOTYPED THEM AS: THE SAMBO. THEY REFERRED TO THEM AS SAMBO'S SO THAT IT WOULD SEEM THAT THEY NEEDED TO BE ENSLAVED, BECAUSE THEY WERE TOO STUPID TO DO ANYTHING ELSE IN LIFE. THAT'S HOW THE OTHERS TREAT ME-I'M TOO STUPID TO DO ANYTHING ELSE, SO THEY USE ME AS A MEANS TO MAKE THEMSELVES FEEL BETTER. I JUST HOPE IT DOESN'T WORK FOR THEM FOR LONG. OF COURSE I CAN'T BLAME EVERYBODY. KARI STILL HAS THIS FRIENDLY ATTITUDE TOWARDS ME SOMETIMES.
I read that and said out loud, "That idiot! How can he just pretend that he wasn't stupid like this." I felt like not reading anything more, but I couldn't stop for some reason. I randomly looked at another poem. "It's the same one from high school," I say.
THE ONE WE HAD FORSAKEN
IN A FAR OFF KINGDOM, KNOWN TO ALL,
A GIRL LIVES THERE, KNOWN TO SOME,
SHE HAS A SECRET LIFE, KNOWN TO FEW,
AND SEEMS HAPPY AS CAN BE.
SHE'S KNOWN TO SOME AS VAIN AND SHALLOW,
SHE'S KNOWN TO FEW AS CARING AND KIND,
THE FEW SAY THAT THEY'RE HER FRIENDS,
WHILST SHE IS AWAY, AND NOT HEARING THEM.
SHE HEARD FROM THE FEW QUITE FREQUENTLY,
BUT THEIR VOICES BECAME LESS AND LESS,
WHILE SHE TRIED REACHING OUT TO THEM,
ALL IN VAIN ATTEMPTS.
THERE SHE BE, LYING IN HER DOMAIN,
A FLOWER IN A CELL,
ALL SHE ASKS IS A RAY OF LIGHT,
ALL SHE GETS IS HELL.
WHO'S TO SAY THAT WE AREN'T THESE FEW
BUT NEVER REALLY HAVE KNOWN IT TRUE
THAT WE LIVE OUR LIVES, AWAY FROM HER,
A FRIEND IN NEED, A FRIEND UNNOTICED.
IN A FAR OFF KINGDOM, KNOWN TO ALL,
A GIRL LIVES THERE, KNOWN TO SOME,
SHE HAS A SECRET LIFE, KNOWN TO FEW,
HER PAIN GOES UNNOTICED, KNOWN TO NONE.
I turn to the back of the page to see what that poem actually means...
WHAT THIS MEANS...
I GOT AN E-MAIL FROM MIMI A COUPLE OF DAYS AGO. HER MOTHER HAS BREAST CANCER. HER E-MAIL SAID, 'PLEASE, ANYBODY-JUST TALK TO ME.' SHE SEEMED SO DESPERATE. I CALLED HER UP, NOT REALLY CARING ABOUT THE PHONE BILL. ME AND HER TALKED FOR A GOOD WHILE. SHE MENTIONED THAT SHE HOPED THE OTHERS WOULD REPLY SOON, AND THANKED ME FOR BEING THERE 'BEFORE I DID SOMETHING I WOULD'VE REGRETTED.' I DIDN'T WANT TO KNOW WHAT THAT SOMETHING WAS, BUT I HAD A GOOD FEELING I ALREADY KNEW. I ASKED HER AFTER A WHILE IF THE OTHERS HAD TALKED TO HER YET. SHE SAID NOBODY ELSE EVEN REPLIED TO HER E-MAILS. I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY WOULD'VE JUST FORGOTTEN ABOUT HER LIKE THAT. MAYBE THEY JUST SEE THEM OR SOMETHING. I KNOW IT'S A LAME EXCUSE, BUT I STILL TRY TO HAVE FAITH IN THEM. EVEN THOUGH THEY TREAT ME THE WAY THAT THEY DO, THEY ARE STILL MY FRIENDS, RIGHT?
"I never got those e-mails!" I yell. I look towards my computer to see if I can look for them, but it isn't there. I forgot that I had sold it. I flip through the binder some more and come across something I had forgotten about. It was a picture I drew of me and Davis back when we were 9. It had 4/7/1999 in the top. I drew Davis with a word bubble over him saying 'Friends Forever?' and I drew me with a word bubble over me saying 'forever and ever!' I couldn't help but laugh. I had actually forgotten that...that Davis and I were friends. I flip the page and see a Xeroxed copy of that same picture. The only difference was that it had 1999 crossed out and had 2000 written. The rest of the words stayed the same. I flipped to another drawing. This was 2001, and had Davis saying 'Friends Forever?' and my reply was still 'Forever and Ever!' Finally, when I got to 2002, Davis asks 'Friends Forever?' and I simply reply 'Sure.' What does this mean? I go to the next one-- 2003. My reply-'Whatever.' The next one-2004. My reply-'Are you still here!' and I have this mean, almost evil look in my eyes. It finally skipped to 2007. Davis's words finally change-'Goodbye, Kari.' I don't get this-he doesn't change his words at all. He doesn't have him ask 'I love you, Kari' or 'Marry me, Kari.'
"All he asked for was my friendship," I say aloud. I don't believe it. After ten years of thinking it was a crush, I finally realize it now. "All he wanted was for me to be his friend." All the hatred and animosity I held towards him, and for what? Because I thought he wanted to get between me and TK. Of course, TK isn't here anymore. I left him 3 years ago. I finally look at the last page. It's the same poem as last time, except it's entitled 'The OTHER One We Had Forsaken.' "Other one?" I ask aloud.
THE OTHER ONE WE HAD FORSAKEN
IN A NEARBY KINGDOM, KNOWN TO ALL,
A GIRL LIVES THERE, KNOWN TO SOME,
SHE HAS A SECRET LIFE, KNOWN TO FEW,
AND THINKS SHE'S AS HAPPY AS CAN BE.
SHE'S KNOWN TO SOME TO BE IN AN ALTERED STATE,
SHE'S KNOWN TO FEW LIVING A LIFE LEFT BEHIND,
THE FEW SAY THAT THEY WERE HER FRIENDS,
WHILST SHE IS AWAY, CHOOSING NOT TO HEAR THEM.
SHE HEARD FROM THE FEW QUITE FREQUENTLY,
BUT THEIR VOICES BECAME LESS AND LESS,
WHILE THEY TRIED REACHING OUT TO HER,
ALL IN VAIN ATTEMPTS.
THERE SHE BE, LYING IN HER DOMAIN,
A FLOWER IN A CELL,
ALL SHE NEEDS IS A RAY OF LIGHT,
ALL SHE GIVES HERSELF IS HELL.
WHO'S TO SAY THAT WE AREN'T THESE FEW
BUT NEVER REALLY HAVE KNOWN IT TRUE
THAT WE LIVE OUR LIVES, AWAY FROM HER,
A FRIEND IN NEED, A FRIEND UNNOTICED.
IN A NEARBY KINGDOM, KNOWN TO ALL,
A GIRL LIVES THERE, KNOWN TO SOME,
SHE HAS A SECRET LIFE, KNOWN TO FEW,
HER PAIN GOES UNNOTICED, KNOWN TO ME.
I didn't even need to look at the back to figure out what that means to him. I'm the other one forsaken, but I'm not exactly like the first. Mimi, the first forsaken one, was forsaken against her will. She was unnoticed because we CHOSE to overlook her. We had new lives, and it was easy to ignore her cries for help. I am the second forsaken one. Unlike Mimi, I chose to be forsaken. I left my friends and family and the one I loved behind, and they can never come back to me now. I am in too deep in this world I made, and there is NO turning back.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Well, this is where you came in. I just finished reading all the poems Davis had wrote. I never knew he was so deep and thoughtful. I remember Chaney telling me that our jokes were untrue, saying that he wasn't as dumb as we made him out to be. I guess, now that I look back on it, that the only reason he was stupid in our minds was because it meant that I'd have to face the fact that people change. I didn't want that. I wanted to be just like I was when I was eight years old: so innocent and loving to everyone. Now look at me: I'm alone in a filthy apartment that I'm about to be evicted out of.
Something else I learned from Davis's poem. I have been lying to myself so much, especially lately. I didn't quit school and work because I needed a break. I got expelled from college, and the Inoues had fired me. I didn't leave TK, he left me because I was a drug abuser and I slept with anybody at the drop of a hat. I guess I was right all those years ago about being Homecoming Queen: that was the height of my lifetime. Since then, it was just a downward spiral.
Of course it's not anybody's fault. Sure, I could've blamed Zero for getting me into the stuff in the first place, or Tai for not trying hard enough, or TK for leaving me to fend for myself. But I won't, because it is all my fault. I deserve what has happened to me, and I'm going to deserve what I do right now.
I walk into the bathroom with Davis's binder in my hands. I start to recite his last poem.
"In a nearby kingdom, known to all," I say as I walk into the bathroom. "A girl lives there, known to some,"
"She has a secret life, known to few," I say as I look at my reflection. "And thinks she's as happy as can be,"
"She's known to some to be in an altered state," I say as I see how filthy and disgusting as I've become. "She's known to few living a life left behind,"
"The few say that they were her friends," I say as I take my dirty and tattered clothing off. "Whilst she is away, choosing not to hear them,"
"She heard from the few quite frequently," I say as I throw my clothes out in the tub. "But their voices became less and less,"
"While they tried reaching out to her," I say as sweep everything off the counter. "All in vain attempts."
"There she be, lying in her domain," I say picking up the hairdryer. "A flower in a cell,"
"All she needs is a ray of light," I say as I throw it into the mirror. "All she gives herself is hell."
"Who's to say that we aren't these few," I say as the shards of glass fall to the ground "But never really have known it true,"
"That we live our lives, away from her," I say as I bend down and pick up a large, sharp piece of the glass, "A friend in need, a friend unnoticed,"
"In a nearby kingdom, known to all," I say as I look at my reflection in the piece, one final time, "A girl lives there, known to some,"
"She has a secret life, known to few," I say as I glide the shard against my skin, creating a crimson path; a few centimeters from the main artery one step closer to ending my pain, "Her pain goes unnoticed, known to..."
Here I am, ready to take my life. Ready for the sweet silence to overwhelm my broken soul. But I can't do it. I can't because of what is written
HER PAIN GOES UNNOTICED, KNOWN TO ME
"Davis, you know what I'm going through," I say to myself. That's what he said I didn't understand. I drop the piece of the mirror on the floor, and I stagger out of the bathroom. "I understand now, Davis," I say aloud. "You know this pain; you're the only one that does." I collapse on my bed, saying. "I understand. I understand..."
--------------------------------EPILOGUE--------------------------------
(3rd Person POV)
Davis Motomiya had just finished his work at the restaurant. He was just finishing making supper, when there was a knock at the door. "Hold on, I'm coming," He says. He walks to the door and swings it open. Kari stood there, looking down at the floor. She had bags under her eyes, and her hair was greasy and knotted. She had on a pink coat and a red scarf around her neck-a vain attempt to look presentable. "H...hello Davis," she says meekly. "I...I b-brought back your binder."
"I...I never expected to see it again," He says with a sad smile. She stares at the floor some more, until she mumbles something inaudible. "What did you say?" Davis asks.
"I said...I said I'm sorry," Kari says, "For how I treated you all those years ago. And for what I've done to myself. Now I'm alone-everyone else has abandoned me." She looks up at Davis, not exactly expecting any sympathy in his eyes, but rather...understanding. "I...I have to leave now." She says. As she turns, Davis grabs her hand. Kari struggles to get away, but Davis looks at her wrist.
"Why did you do this!" Davis says.
"Because...because I wanted it all to go away," She says, finally collapsing into him. He holds her and lets her cry into his shoulders. They remained like that for another five minutes, until Kari says, "Friends...forever?"
"Forever and ever," Davis says, a single tear threatening to fall, "And I promise, I will never forsake you again."
---The End---
Digi-Guy: Oh God! I kept her alive!
Kari: I new you loved me! ***Kari gives Digi-Guy a big hug***
Davis: And you got Kari to not kill herself because of me! That means it's a Daikari fic! ***Davis gives Digi-Guy a big hug for writing a Daikari***
Kari: Davis, I came to you as a friend in this story, I think.
Davis: No, you love me. Isn't that right, Digi-Guy?
Digi-Guy: Did I mention I'm bi? ***Davis stops hugging Digi-Guy and slowly inches away from him*** Anyways, that's my story, and I hope you...
***Crack of whip heard over Digi-Guy's head. Kari screams and runs away; Digi-Guy looks up and sees Mimi with a whip.***
Digi-Guy: Hey, what do you think you're doing?!
Mimi: I'm so pissed off at you! You killed my mom in your stupid story! And you made me yell at everybody. And why do you keep having ME smoke in your stories?!
Digi-Guy: Because I like featuring the cancer-sticks in any story I write. Somebody's gotta endorse those tobacco companies; they don't get to have commercials anymore, after all
***Mimi cracks whip over Digi-Guy again***
Mimi: Okay, enough! You've had your time off! Now get back to writing 'The Final 'Destined'! And I mean NOW!!! ***Mimi cracks whip again***
Digi-Guy: Fine, yeeesh! ~who died and made you Digimon Empress~
Digiguy: Okay, this is my first try at an angst-type fic. It's basically Kari's life, and it's a very different angst fic because it isn't all angsty; it starts out good, but gets really REALLY bad.
Kari: Why me? Why not somebody else.
Digi-Guy: Because everybody likes you! It sickens me! Even in my other stories you end up being worshipped! Besides, Davis and Ken and all the others have had their share of angst-ridden fics, so why not you?
Davis: You know you're gonna get flamed for writing this, right?
Digi-Guy: Good, I never got flamed before. I wanna see what it's like to be flamed, it could be fun!
Also, sorry to say, you people may realize my blatant love of some characters in my story.
Mimi: Like me
Digi-Guy: Be quiet, woman. See, now they're gonna look for it rather than read and enjoy the story.
Brandon: But Digi-Guy, nobody ever enjoys your stories, remember?
Digi-Guy: Hey, I made you up, and I can just as easily un-make you up.
Brandon:.......................
Digi-Guy: Hmph, that's what I though. And by the way, this isn't related to any of my other stories. I try to keep the plotlines similar, but with this one I didn't feel like it. Okay, second Author Note-I didn't forget about "The Final 'Destined". In fact, it's been done, but I need to have a rewrite. A few of the faithful readers (if any) would remember it as "Digimon USA." I wanted to do some editing and switch up a couple.
Mimi: Me and Brandon had better still be a couple!!!
Digi-Guy: Actually, you might be in a lesbian romance with Maria.
Mimi: WHAT!!! I AM NOT A LESBIAN!!! I LIKE MEN, YOU HEAR ME!!!
Digi-Guy: Sure, Mimi. Hey, do you think the couple category should be called Miria or Marimi?
Maria: Brandon! I can't be a lesbian, I'm a good Catholic school girl! I become a nun, remember?
Digi-Guy: I rewrote you to become a goth-girl, by the way
Maria: Why you little... ***Maria prays, and the hand of God bitch-slaps Digi-Guy across the face***
Digi-Guy: Ow!!! Fine, y'all can still be straight! ~Stupid Maria and her God~
Maria: I heard that!
Digi-Guy: Ah! Okay, just read the story ***Digi-Guy runs away from 10-year-old Hispanic girl like scared little boy***
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Who would have thought I'd end up like this? Kari Kamiya, and I'm lonely. No, wait-lonely is such a temporary word. Rather, I am alone. I've been abandoned by my friends, and even my brother and family don't talk to me anymore. I'm all alone, in my dark and filthy apartment. Not even a home; more of a residency. Everyone has gone on to live their lives just fine. I hear Matt and Sora got married. Sad thing is, I heard it by reading the newspaper. No invitation for Kari. I was the sweet, caring, innocent one of the group. How sad is that? I am far from those things as it gets. The only thing I've got to look forward is to either die of old age or die by my own hands-preferably the latter right about now.
It was today in fact that he told me, "Read this, and then maybe you'll understand." I still have this stupid black binder in my lap. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Maybe I should look back...back, to the beginning.
7 years ago
Today is such a good day. Tai just got accepted to Kyoto University, TK just made the basketball team, and Ken finally got serious and asked Yolei out. Nothing could dent my mood, except...
"Hey, Kari!" Davis yells out to me. Here we go again. This guy doesn't give up. He's had this crush on me for 4 years now, and he just won't let up. Although it is fun to get him to make TK jealous... "Kari, ya wanna go see a movie or something?" Davis asks me.
"Sorry, Davis, but I'm gonna be busy," I say. Sometimes I hope he catches the fact that when I say I'm gonna be busy, it means that I'm going to make up some last minute plans to do tonight so I can at least not have some guilt about turning you down...again. But then I remember-it's Davis, he couldn't catch on to anything unless you wrote it on his arm in small words.
"Sure, OK," he says, seemingly not phased. Just then, the bell rings. "Up, Lit class is starting. You finish that poem?"
"Of course," I say in my sing-songy voice. "I should be asking you, Mr. I-Didn't-Know-We-Had-Homework?" It's fun to do this-he thinks I'm being flirty, when I can make an ever so slight insult to his face. Ain't life grand?
"I did it, all right. And it'll knock the whole class out." He says as we enter the classroom. Gee, I can't wait.
------------------------------------------------
"I see a blue sky at night, just cuz I choose to do so,
And I see the stars as tiny suns, and the moon as a smiling face,
The cricket chirps are birds that sing, because I don't have a disgrace
Cuz my life is pure and hopeful, with Light that shows me where to go."
Everybody claps in the room when I finish my poem. Ms. Wong stands up and says, "Very good, Kari. Class, notice the A-B-B-A rhyme scheme she uses, whereas she doesn't use a definite syllable pattern. Very good use of style, Kari. Now, that leaves us with only one poem left I believe." She looks at her grading book and her face drops. "Davis Motomiya." Davis stands up and walks to the front of the room.
"Wow, he actually did his homework." My friend Clarissa says.
"Five bucks it's about soccer." Someone says in the back. Davis looks at his paper and begins to recite from it:
"In a far off kingdom, known to all,
A girl lives there, known to some,
She has a secret life, known to few,
And seems happy as can be.
She's known to some as vain and shallow,
She's known to few as caring and kind,
The few say that they're her friends,
Whilst she is away, and not hearing them.
She heard from the few quite frequently,
But their voices became less and less,
While she tried reaching out to them,
All in vain attempts.
There she be, lying in her domain,
A flower in a cell,
All she asks is a ray of light,
All she gets is Hell.
Who's to say that we aren't these few
But never really have known it true
That we live our lives, away from her,
A friend in need, a friend unnoticed.
In a far off kingdom, known to all,
A girl lives there, known to some,
She has a secret life, known to few,
Her pain goes unnoticed, known to none."
Right about now my jaw was agape at this. Davis Motomiya, wrote poetry. Not only that, he wrote a very, VERY good poem. TK is looking at me with this "What the hell" look in his eyes. I probably have the same look myself.
"Mr. Motomiya," Ms. Wong started to breath out. "That...that was one of the most beautiful things I've ever heard. It was very deep, and it had random rhyming patterns that didn't adhere to any rules, yet made up new ones. It even left me thinking about people in my life. How come you never wrote like that before?"
"I dunno," Davis says. My money's on that his sister wrote it. Of course she's in America, but I know HE couldn't have done it. He's Davis!
---------------------------------------------------
"TK, I heard about the poem Davis wrote in Ms. Wong's class," Yolei says, running up to us in the Cafeteria. "Was it that good?"
"It was actually weird, to tell you the truth," TK says. "It was about some lonely girl or something. You'd have to read it to understand."
"Understand what?" Davis says, putting his tray next to mine.
"Your poem," TK says, "where'd you get the inspiration?"
"I dunno, I just started writing stuff until it looked good." He says.
"Davis, can I read it?" Yolei asks. It was one of the few things she's said to Davis recently that didn't come out as an insult.
"I don't have it with me," Davis says, "But Ms. Wong has it posted up on the bulletin board outside her room. Plus I think she's making copies or something."
"Cool, I wanna check this thing out." Yolei says as she rushes away from our table.
"Wow, Davis, you really impressed her," TK says. I couldn't take it anymore-I had to ask the question everyone seems too afraid to ask.
"Did you really write it, Davis?" I blurt out, trying to keep my cheerful tone of voice.
"What? Of course I did!" He exclaims, "What, you think I copied it out of a book or something?" Okay, he seems genuinely angry. Time for damage control.
"I was kidding, Davis," I say sweetly to him. "I loved it."
"Really? You did?" He says with a glint in his eyes. Oh damn, now he has another 'I think Kari likes me' clue in his head. Oh well, why not? He has a lot more of them in there. Where he gets them from, I do not know.
3 years later.
Tai is coming home for fall break! I am so excited over this! Not only him, but Matt and Sora are coming down, too! I am so happy I could explode right now! Unfortunately, I have this little matter to attend to right now-I have to show this new girl around the school. "Hi, my name's Kari." I say. Who knows-maybe I can make a friend today.
"Hey, my name's Chaney," she says. "You don't have to show me everything, really. I know that all the schools in this area of Japan have the same building floorplans, so this is probably just like my old school."
"Well, you sure make my job easy," I say. She's a somewhat large girl with green eyes and blond hair pulled back in a ponytail. She is wearing this yellow blouse and white-khaki pants. I bet she's real smart, since she knows that whole fact about the school floorplans. I know I didn't know that. "How about I introduce you to some of my friends." I suggest. We walk over to my table, where TK and Yolei. "Chaney, this is my boyfriend TK and Yolei. Guys, this is Chaney. She's new here."
"Hey, Chaney," TK says, "What school are you coming from?"
"Tamachi High," She says. That got Yolei started.
"Wow, so you know my boyfriend Ken!" She squeals.
"Ichijouchi? Well, yeah. He sat by me in Physics class." Chaney says, "Great guy to ask for help in anything." As she was saying this, Davis walks by with a thick binder atop a pile of other things. She made this huge sweeping gesture with her hand, and accidentally knocks the binder off and onto the ground. We start to laugh, but Chaney just starts to apologize over and over again. "Oh, I am so, SO sorry about that." She says as she puts the binder back on top of his pile of stuff in his hands.
"Uh, no prob," He mutters out and starts to walk away. To tell you the truth, that's the most I've heard him say since me and TK started to date. I guess he never did get over his crush on me, because he seems so uncomfortable being around the rest of us. He altogether stopped being around us. Not like I'm complaining though...
"Don't mind Davis, Chaney," TK says, "He's just a loser."
"And a dumbass," Yolei adds. Just then, I notice something on the ground where the binder used to be. Looks like Davis dropped this. I read it, and it's the same poem from our Literature class that he read. The only difference is that it has a title: The One We Had Forsaken. Chaney looks at it over my shoulder and reads it.
"Wow, he wrote that?" Chaney says.
"Yeah. He probably still hangs on to it because it's his one achievement in life," I say. Well, it probably is.
"It is so...so wonderful." Chaney says. "I don't know how you think he's such an idiot. No one can be that stupid and write something THIS powerful and deep."
"Yes he can," Yolei says, "It's Davis-he can do anything and still be an idiot at the same time. It's called moron multi-tasking." As the bell rings to warn us of class, Chaney says, "Well, I'll go bring this back to him. I'll see you guys around; nice meeting you."
-----------------------------------------------------
It's a nice cool night on the beach, and Tai, Matt, and Sora are sitting around a small fire we made. Tai, of course, brought a case of Bud Lite for us to drink. We were kicking back a few and just talking about what life's been like, how life was before, and so on. The only problem was that, well, HE showed up.
"Davis? What are you doing here?" I ask, surprised that he would be here.
"I invited him," Sora says, sitting in Matt's lap. "He is a friend, after all." Gee Sora, thanks for inviting the Digi-Mistake. That's what I felt like telling her.
"Oh, great," I say. That's what I actually told her. I liked the first idea better. Davis sat next to Sora by the fire. And as you could imagine me, TK, and Yolei were kinda quiet. Tai, being as drunk as he was already, was talking up a storm with Davis. After another 10 minutes, Tai stood up for a 'fun game.'
"Okay, everbody," Tai slurs out, "It's time to play a little game called 'Digidestined Charades.'" He takes a piece of paper and rips it into several smaller pieces, and then writes some names on it. "You guys will each get a name of somebody that didn't bother to show up. You then get to act out that person in any way you want, and we have to guess who it is."
"I think I'll sit this one out, Tai," Matt says.
"Aw, you're no fun!" Sora says. I could tell that she's been drinking quite a few. "Don't worry, Tai, I'll start." She takes the pieces of paper and hands one to each of us (except Matt). Then she looks at hers and starts to wiggle her fingers on the sand. "Prodigious! I've hacked into the Pentagon's computers. Now I can bend the United States into doing what I want. HAHAHA! Oh, and Gennai sent me an e-mail. Now I can go help my friends save the Digital World by confusing them with my vast vocabulary!"
"Izzy!" TK yells, "That is SO Izzy right there!" We all start laughing. Well, except for one person.
Yolei speaks up next, "OK, you go next TK." TK looks at his paper again, and then starts. "Oh my God! You are all drinking! Don't you know that it's illegal to be drinking under the age of 21?!?! I can't believe this, I think I have an ulcer."
"That's Joe!" Tai says, laughing at TK's accuracy in acting like Joe. "Let me go next." Tai clears his throat and says, "Come on Yolei-let's have super hot sex! You'll see why else they call me 'The Rocket'."
"Shut up, Tai!" Yolei says jokingly. "And trust me-they don't call him The Rocket for sex." We all started to laugh our asses off at that.
"Davis," Matt says after he quit laughing, "Do yours now." Davis looked at his paper and stuttered out, "Um...well,"
"He's not talking," Sora says.
"Then it's gotta be Cody," TK says. As we start to laugh, Davis gets up and says, "No it's not Cody, and don't you think it's wrong to be making fun of your friends behind their backs like this?!" Everyone just looked at him. They were probably thinking the same thing I was: who do you think you are telling us how we should behave; it's not like we consider you to be a friend anymore.
"Aw, Davis," Tai says, "You just don't understand that we kid cuz we love."
"Yeah right," Davis retorts, "If you love everybody so much, then how come you haven't spoken with Joe since he left for Med school, and how come Mimi hasn't heard from any of you for 2 years?"
"How do you know, Davis!" Matt says, kind of agitated with him, "For all you know we could be talking to them quite frequently!"
"That's bull shit, and you know it!" Davis yells back. "I talk to Mimi a lot, and she told me she sends you all e-mails-e-mails that you don't bother to reply to." He then points to us three, "And you wonder why I stop hanging out with you! You three are so caught up in being the popular ones in high school that you don't even bother to worry about your friends! If you could forget about Mimi, after all, then I'd hate to see what you'd do to me!"
"Why don't you try us, Davis!" I stand up yelling, "Why don't you just leave, go away, or just jump off a bridge for all I care! Cuz I for one am really sick of your jealousy towards me and TK's relationship! You are just this stupid, obnoxious, egotistical moron who doesn't think of anybody but himself!" I expected him to be hurt, or yell in anger. All I got was a calm, cold sentence.
"You don't understand," He says coldly, "and I suppose you never will." With that, he turned around and walked away from us.
---------------------------------------------------------
I can't believe Ms. Wong's teaching us again. I hate this class SO much! She always assigns these stupid writing projects, and now that she's teaching Creative Writing, she's gonna assign a whole lot more.
"Let's see, I remember a lot of you from our previous literature classes, so role call should be easy," She says. She called each of by our names, occasionally getting one of our names messed up. Then she says, "Oh no, I can't believe he dropped out."
"Who?" somebody asks.
"That Davis boy," she says, "And he had such potential, too." Did I hear her right? Davis isn't going to be here anymore? Hooray! What a relief-now we can live our lives without having to face him anymore! I can't wait to tell the others.
-------------------------------------------------------
"Guess what," I say to TK as he leaves Trigonometry.
"What?" he and Chaney ask.
"Davis dropped out; he's not coming here anymore!" I squeak out, as giddy as can be.
"Yeah, that's great," TK says. I thought he'd be just as excited as I am. Oh well.
"Oh no," Chaney says, "I kinda liked him."
"I don't see how," I say, "He's just arrogant, obnoxious, stupid, and..."
"Kari," Chaney says, looking at me with this annoyed look, "I've talked to him-he's not one of those things. I don't know where you get that from, but it's just not him at all." The bell rings, and she says, "I gotta go to P.E. I'll see you later," in a rather rushed and quiet manner.
"What the hell is her problem," I say. She must have the hots for him or something; that's the only reason I can think of to defend Davis. "Anyways, you gonna go to the homecoming game tonight?" I ask TK.
"Of course," TK says, "I wouldn't miss seeing you in the Homecoming Court."
(A/N: I somehow doubt that they have Homecoming games in Japan. Especially since they don't have American football. That's why they'll have it on the soccer field! Just my little Americanese mix into the story.)
--------------------------------------------------
I am so nervous right now. I am on the middle of the soccer field next to six of my friends. I don't know why I'm so nervous. I mean, I keep telling myself that this Homecoming Queen thing isn't a big deal, and I don't care if I win or not.
Then why do I not believe myself?
Our principal is at the microphone right now, saying, "And our Homecoming Queen for 2007 is..." He opens the envelope and looks at the card.
Right now, my heart has stopped.
"Miss Kari Kamiya!" he says. I don't believe it...I won! Jannette, last years Queen, places the crown on my head and gives me a bouquet of roses. Everybody is cheering for me; I could've sworn I heard TK yelling "That's my girlfriend! Yahoo!" I'll place money on it, in fact.
-------------------------------------------------
"All hail the queen!" some guy says as I enter the party. People turn and clap and cheer as I walk in. It's getting a little too much, but I'm loving this attention! I feel on top of the world right now; the height of my life even!
"So Kari," Yolei says, obviously a little tipsy, "You are now the reigning Queen of Odaiba High, and the most popular girl around. How does it feel?"
"Just great Yolei," I say, humoring the drunk girl. But I wasn't lying, that's for sure. Just then, one of the soccer players, Zero, comes up to me and gets on one knee. He is holding up a bowl to me, "I'm here to pay homage to you, almighty Queen Kari," He says in this distant yet warm voice.
"Holy crap," I say. I know what he has...it's weed! And lots of if! Tai told me about him and Matt using some before, but he never really went into detail about it. I'm looking at it right now...way too much if you ask me! I never really done it before. Hell, I never smoked ANYTHING before! But I have always wondered about it. Maybe tonight was a night for...experimenting.
"C'mon Kari," Zero says, "TK's in there already." TK? My TK?! Where'd this come from?! Since when did he...but then again, it can't be that bad.
"Fine," I say, "let's go." Oh why not? It's not as if it's that bad for you. After all, cigarettes are much more dangerous, anyways, and even those aren't bad short-term. Besides, once won't be that bad for me. I walk into the room-two guys, and three girls, none of them TK. "Where's TK?" I ask.
"Oh, he's in the bathroom getting some water," Zero says. He sits me down on a plush pillow, while some girl puts a couple of bottles of water by my. "Trust me," she says, "You'll need them." Whatever, I think to myself. I am kinda scared, I gotta admit. Zero puts the bong in front of me. "Now, just breath in through your mouth, and hold it in for as long as possible. Don't worry, I'll handle everything else." He lights up this thing down at the base of it, and I inhale as much of the fumes as possible. I hold my breath, just like Zero says. I don't think I'll last very long; it feels like my lungs with explode.
"*Cough* *Cough* *Hack*," I hack out. How embarrassing is that? I know it's normal with pot, but I feel like I've coughed in everybody's faces (and I probably did).
"Not bad," my friend Clarissa says, "You lasted longer than me, that's for sure. Care to try again?"
"Woah, don't rush the girl Clare," Zero says, "Besides, it's my turn now."
-----------------------------------------------------------
It's been ten minutes since I first did it, and right now I'm feeling reeeeaaaaalll goooooood. Still no sign of TK, but he's probably drinking lots and lots of water. I know I have. That girl was right, I've been drinking a lot of water. I feel like...like a vacuum is in my mouth and sucking out all the moisture. 'Cotton mouth' is what it's called. I don't like it; it thoroughly sucks. Just then, TK comes in as I'm taking my 4th hit. "Kari!" he yells.
"Hey, TK," I say in a whimsical voice. "Where have you been."
"Looking for you," he says, "Zero, what are you doing?!"
"Allowing Kari to partake in enlightenment," He says. "How 'bout you join, TK?"
"Yeah," I say as I hug his leg, "It's really cool, and it's not bad at all. Matt even does it, right?" TK looks down at me, until he gets on the ground with us. I know he wants to try it out; he told me he wouldn't turn it down if somebody asked him to.
1 years later.
College. It's definitely different from high school. I guess one of the sadder things is that I'm not known and loved by all like I was back then. I hang out mostly with my group of friends-Clarissa, Katie, Zero, Darren, and of course my boyfriend TK. And I'm working with him in the convenience store that Yolei's parents own, too. I can't wait to get off of work right now-the gangs getting together for a smoke-out in my apartment. It's been five whole days since I've done it; I can't go that long!
"Five minutes 'til we get off," I say to TK. Just then, this woman walks in. She's wearing a pink leather mini-skirt and red long sleeve shirt. She has on black high heel boots and a black long sleeve leather jacket with pink feathery cuffs. Her skin is a silky complexion, and her eyes were like drops of warm caramel. Her hair was also a caramel color, too, and it was curled up. I recognized her immediately. It was Mimi! I can't believe, after so long she finally came back to visit us! She comes up to the counter and says...
"Pack of Marlboro Lights, 100s please,"
What? That's it? No, hey Kari nice to see you again. How've you been all this time? Nothing! "Hey, Mimi," TK says, "D...Don't you recognize us?"
"Oh, Kari & TK," She says somewhat dryly, "It's you." What?! What a bitchy thing to say! 'It's you.' Gee, don't get too excited! She puts her money on the counter and takes the pack. "Keep the change."
"Wait, Mimi," I say, covering up my anger with my classic sweet voice "Where...What are you doing in Japan?"
"I just came to see my aunt and uncle," she says, "And now I'm on my way back to New York."
"What, you didn't plan on telling us you were here?" TK says.
"Why should I have?" she says. "So you could ignore me when I'm here, too?"
"What are you talking about," I say, "We never..."
"Shut up, Kari!" she yells, "I needed you all those years ago, and you weren't there for me! None of you were, except for one, and he's not here anymore!"
"I still don't understand what you're talking about, Mimi," TK says in a genuine sympathetic tone.
"Of course you wouldn't," She says. "I tried to contact you all so much, yet neither of you even bothered replying! I needed you when my mother died, and you didn't bother sending a single e-mail or anything! You had all the opportunities in the world; I probably sent 20 e-mails just begging for you to grace me with the time of day! I guess you were too busy with your own lives to get mixed up in my little problems!" I was shocked. I didn't even realize it. Mimi turns around and heads for the door. She opens the door and turns to us again. "I saw Tai today in the park. He's worried about all the nice little habits you've picked up over the years. Maybe you should talk to him before you lose your brother, like you've lost me as a friend." And with that, she left us.
------------------------------------------------------------
"Dude, why was she trippin so much?" Zero asked me.
"Who cares, she's nobody anyways," I say. We've been smoking for an hour now, and I've just about forgot about what happened today. Who does she really think she is, just walking back into our lives and making us feel bad about something we didn't know anyways! What were we supposed to do-fly over to New York and give her a hug?
"Um, Kari," TK says to me, "Can we...can we talk alone?" I know what he wants to do. He says talk, but he means we're going to have sex. Why not, we've done it about a hundred other times already. We walk into the other room, where I start to take off my t-shirt. "Kari, I..."
"Less talk, more tongue, TK," I say as I start to feel him up and push his face in my breasts. "It's been 3 days since, and I want you to fuck my brains out!"
"Kari, I can't," TK says. What does he mean 'he can't?' It's not like he hasn't done it before!
"What do you mean, TK?" I say, somewhat annoyed.
"Kari, I don't think we should see each other any more." That was a slap across the face.
"Wha...what to you mean?" I say pleadingly.
"Look, I loved you at one time, but..." He pauses, "well, look at you! You've become a drugged up junky! All you want to do is either smoke pot, do cocaine, take Ex, or fuck! And the sad thing is that you have sex with anybody if I'm not around. Hell, I got 4 witnesses that said you even went down on Clarissa one night after you took too much Ex! I want...something more in a relationship."
"You can't be serious," I say, before yelling, "What do you want from me!? I'm the same person I was since we started dating! It's not my fault that YOU changed! You don't like having fun anymore! You don't want to live life like we should! You act like some old guy or something-worried more about the future than actually living your present."
"And you're stuck in the past, Kari!" TK yells back. "You just haven't grown up! Like what happened with Mimi today. You didn't bother apologizing!"
"You didn't either," I retort back. The nerve of this guy. He is such a hypocrite!
"I caught up with her at the airport before she left." TK says. Damn, so much for hypocrisy. "I looked back at my e-mails; we did ignore her. Her mother died of breast cancer, and she was really torn up about it. She told me only Davis bothered replying."
"Him? Who cares about Davis!?" I yell. "Don't you see, TK? Our lives were supposed to be much better without him! We were able to love without his jealous eyes looking up to us..."
"Kari, don't you understand?" TK says, "You look at everything in this unchanged view. When I talked to Mimi, I realized that we were crueler to Davis than we should have been. But you...you always placed him away from us. I just don't understand why?"
"TK, you are guilty of it too!" I yell, before stopping myself. "And I'm not going to get in an argument over Davis! He's gone, and we've become happier and better off for it! Now come on back and we'll smo..."
"I can't, Kari," TK says. "I'm leaving you. I just don't want to put up with you anymore!" With that, he bolts out of the room and out of my apartment. I run out and see that everybody else had left. I guess they weren't high enough to ignore all the yelling. I fall on the couch and cry as I pick up the already rolled joint. I light it and inhale deeply, holding it all in for as long as I can. I finally release after a minute and allow it to take my mind away.
-------------------------------------------------
*Knock* *Knock* *Knock*
"Ugh," I grunt out as I get up off the sofa. So much stuff I used last night: from pot to crack to painkillers. No wonder I feel so...empty? Nah, I can't feel like that. My life is just as perfect as it always was. Now and forever. Perfect.
*Knock* *Knock* *Knock*
"Okay, I'm coming," I say. I open the door, and I see him. "Tai," I squeak out. He finally cut his hair, and he's dressing kinda nice today, too. "What are you doing here?" I ask, trying to regain my sweet voice. For some reason, it sounds different, almost wrong even.
"Kari, I just came by to see how you were doing," he says, "I heard what TK did last night." Something sounds unusual about how he says that. It's almost as if it's not entirely true.
"Oh, well I'm fine Tai." I say, "I've had time to sort it all out, and I feel like I can move on." Actually I'm still hurting, Tai. I feel betrayed and left alone by somebody I had loved. Why can't you see that? Or, do you care? Is that the only reason you came, or is there something else? "Is that the only reason you came, or is there something else?" I didn't even mean to ask that, and right now I wish I hadn't.
"No, Kari," he says, "Okay, yeah there is!" He yells, grabbing me by the arms. "Look at you, Kari! You've become addicted to every known substance known to man!" He points to my arms, "You're even shooting up God knows what!"
"They're called painkillers, Tai," I say matter-of-factly.
"God damn it, Kari!" He yells, "You're killing yourself with this shit! I should've told you not to even try it, but I felt to ashamed of it when I did it so long ago. Now look at you-you're a pothead, a crack-fiend, and a slut!"
"Fuck you, Tai!" I yell, "I am not any of that! So what if I do a bit of 'experimenting.' I'm young; I can do those kinds of things!"
"NO YOU CAN'T!!!" Tai yells in my face, "You'll kill yourself! Kari, don't you see? Mom and Dad are worried sick about you, I'm worried about you. Come with me, and we'll leave and go home. We can get you some help..."
"I don't want help," I say, "I like my life just the way it is. It's perfect as can be. Always has, and always will be!"
"Kari," Tai says solemnly, "I can't make you do something you don't want to, as much as I'd like to. You have two options: either you come with me and get the help you need, or I'm leaving and never coming back into your life again."
"Then leave!" I yell, "Just leave me alone! I have a life to live, and I don't need you to stop me!"
"Then, goodbye Kari," Tai says. And he closes the door, leaving me. Just like TK. Just like all the others.
3 years later (Present Day)
I'm walking down the streets right now. It's been three years since that happened, and my life is just fine. I quit my job and schooling because I felt like I needed a little break. And I just got a hold of some crystal meth. I feel real good and warm right now, even though it's bitterly cold. I enter this nice bar. More of a night club really. I get a dozen or so stares. I guess they didn't think sweet innocent Kari Kamiya would just waltz right into a night club, huh? I sit at a table and search my pockets. I've got to have some more pills around here somewhere. I look around the room. Neon lights everywhere. It looks kinda retro 80s or something. I then realize that I'm sitting on something. I pick it up off the seat and look at it: a brown torn-up backpack with only a thick black binder inside.
"Excuse me, but I was sitting there," someone says. I get up and say sorry without looking at the man. "That's alright, you can sit here too if you want." I sit in the opposite chair and look up at him. I couldn't believe it.
"Davis," I say weakly.
"Yeah, how'd you know my name?" He asks. What does he mean by that? The nerve of this guy, not recognizing ME!
"Hello! It's me, Kari!" I say. "Same Davis, dense as ever."
"Kari? That...that can't be you," he says.
"Of course it is," I say. "Haven't changed a bit."
"Um, right." He says in an odd tone of voice. "Hey, I gotta be..."
"What, Davis," I say coldly, "Do I still intimidate you after so long?"
"Kari, you don't intimidate me," he says, "You repulse me." I feel like I've been hit upside the head from that. "I don't suppose you looked at yourself in the mirror, but you look like shit! And the sad part is you don't even realize it! You're still acting like everything is just like it was all those years ago. Still not even thinking I've changed."
"Well, you haven't!" I yell, "and neither have I!"
Davis then says, "Kari, I'd feel sorry for you, but I'd rather pity you. It seems more fitting, because you don't even realize what's going on." He takes out his black notebook and says, "Read this, and then maybe you'll understand."
-----------------------------------------------------------
So here I am. I got this stupid binder in my hands, and I open to the first page.
SAMBO: BY DAVIS MOTOMIYA
I THINK I'M EVERYBODY'S SAMBO
THAT'S HOW THEY THINK IF ME,
IT'S AN EVIL WAY TO THINK, I KNOW,
AND THAT'S WHY IT IS HURTING ME.
I REMEMBER WHAT A SAMBO WAS,
THEY WERE PEOPLE THAT WERE ALWAYS CHEERFUL,
THEY WERE CAREFREE AND HAPPY SOULS,
EVEN WHEN PEOPLE ENSLAVED THEM ALL.
WHO SAYS I AM A SAMBO,
WHO EVER SAID I WAS ALWAYS CHEERFUL,
THE FUNNY THING ABOUT MY SOUL, THOUGH,
IS THAT IT'S THE ONLY THING ABOUT ME BLACK.
I read that over and over again. I looked on the back sheet. As if he answered a request, he explains it all on the back.
WHAT THIS MEANS...
EVERYBODY TREATS ME LIKE I AM THIS MORON. SOME FOOLISH BOY WHO DOESN'T KNOW ANYTHING OTHER THAN TO BE THE BUTT OF EVERYONE'S JOKES. I KNOW HOW THE SLAVES IN AMERICA FEEL. THAT'S WHAT THE SLAVE OWNERS STEREOTYPED THEM AS: THE SAMBO. THEY REFERRED TO THEM AS SAMBO'S SO THAT IT WOULD SEEM THAT THEY NEEDED TO BE ENSLAVED, BECAUSE THEY WERE TOO STUPID TO DO ANYTHING ELSE IN LIFE. THAT'S HOW THE OTHERS TREAT ME-I'M TOO STUPID TO DO ANYTHING ELSE, SO THEY USE ME AS A MEANS TO MAKE THEMSELVES FEEL BETTER. I JUST HOPE IT DOESN'T WORK FOR THEM FOR LONG. OF COURSE I CAN'T BLAME EVERYBODY. KARI STILL HAS THIS FRIENDLY ATTITUDE TOWARDS ME SOMETIMES.
I read that and said out loud, "That idiot! How can he just pretend that he wasn't stupid like this." I felt like not reading anything more, but I couldn't stop for some reason. I randomly looked at another poem. "It's the same one from high school," I say.
THE ONE WE HAD FORSAKEN
IN A FAR OFF KINGDOM, KNOWN TO ALL,
A GIRL LIVES THERE, KNOWN TO SOME,
SHE HAS A SECRET LIFE, KNOWN TO FEW,
AND SEEMS HAPPY AS CAN BE.
SHE'S KNOWN TO SOME AS VAIN AND SHALLOW,
SHE'S KNOWN TO FEW AS CARING AND KIND,
THE FEW SAY THAT THEY'RE HER FRIENDS,
WHILST SHE IS AWAY, AND NOT HEARING THEM.
SHE HEARD FROM THE FEW QUITE FREQUENTLY,
BUT THEIR VOICES BECAME LESS AND LESS,
WHILE SHE TRIED REACHING OUT TO THEM,
ALL IN VAIN ATTEMPTS.
THERE SHE BE, LYING IN HER DOMAIN,
A FLOWER IN A CELL,
ALL SHE ASKS IS A RAY OF LIGHT,
ALL SHE GETS IS HELL.
WHO'S TO SAY THAT WE AREN'T THESE FEW
BUT NEVER REALLY HAVE KNOWN IT TRUE
THAT WE LIVE OUR LIVES, AWAY FROM HER,
A FRIEND IN NEED, A FRIEND UNNOTICED.
IN A FAR OFF KINGDOM, KNOWN TO ALL,
A GIRL LIVES THERE, KNOWN TO SOME,
SHE HAS A SECRET LIFE, KNOWN TO FEW,
HER PAIN GOES UNNOTICED, KNOWN TO NONE.
I turn to the back of the page to see what that poem actually means...
WHAT THIS MEANS...
I GOT AN E-MAIL FROM MIMI A COUPLE OF DAYS AGO. HER MOTHER HAS BREAST CANCER. HER E-MAIL SAID, 'PLEASE, ANYBODY-JUST TALK TO ME.' SHE SEEMED SO DESPERATE. I CALLED HER UP, NOT REALLY CARING ABOUT THE PHONE BILL. ME AND HER TALKED FOR A GOOD WHILE. SHE MENTIONED THAT SHE HOPED THE OTHERS WOULD REPLY SOON, AND THANKED ME FOR BEING THERE 'BEFORE I DID SOMETHING I WOULD'VE REGRETTED.' I DIDN'T WANT TO KNOW WHAT THAT SOMETHING WAS, BUT I HAD A GOOD FEELING I ALREADY KNEW. I ASKED HER AFTER A WHILE IF THE OTHERS HAD TALKED TO HER YET. SHE SAID NOBODY ELSE EVEN REPLIED TO HER E-MAILS. I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY WOULD'VE JUST FORGOTTEN ABOUT HER LIKE THAT. MAYBE THEY JUST SEE THEM OR SOMETHING. I KNOW IT'S A LAME EXCUSE, BUT I STILL TRY TO HAVE FAITH IN THEM. EVEN THOUGH THEY TREAT ME THE WAY THAT THEY DO, THEY ARE STILL MY FRIENDS, RIGHT?
"I never got those e-mails!" I yell. I look towards my computer to see if I can look for them, but it isn't there. I forgot that I had sold it. I flip through the binder some more and come across something I had forgotten about. It was a picture I drew of me and Davis back when we were 9. It had 4/7/1999 in the top. I drew Davis with a word bubble over him saying 'Friends Forever?' and I drew me with a word bubble over me saying 'forever and ever!' I couldn't help but laugh. I had actually forgotten that...that Davis and I were friends. I flip the page and see a Xeroxed copy of that same picture. The only difference was that it had 1999 crossed out and had 2000 written. The rest of the words stayed the same. I flipped to another drawing. This was 2001, and had Davis saying 'Friends Forever?' and my reply was still 'Forever and Ever!' Finally, when I got to 2002, Davis asks 'Friends Forever?' and I simply reply 'Sure.' What does this mean? I go to the next one-- 2003. My reply-'Whatever.' The next one-2004. My reply-'Are you still here!' and I have this mean, almost evil look in my eyes. It finally skipped to 2007. Davis's words finally change-'Goodbye, Kari.' I don't get this-he doesn't change his words at all. He doesn't have him ask 'I love you, Kari' or 'Marry me, Kari.'
"All he asked for was my friendship," I say aloud. I don't believe it. After ten years of thinking it was a crush, I finally realize it now. "All he wanted was for me to be his friend." All the hatred and animosity I held towards him, and for what? Because I thought he wanted to get between me and TK. Of course, TK isn't here anymore. I left him 3 years ago. I finally look at the last page. It's the same poem as last time, except it's entitled 'The OTHER One We Had Forsaken.' "Other one?" I ask aloud.
THE OTHER ONE WE HAD FORSAKEN
IN A NEARBY KINGDOM, KNOWN TO ALL,
A GIRL LIVES THERE, KNOWN TO SOME,
SHE HAS A SECRET LIFE, KNOWN TO FEW,
AND THINKS SHE'S AS HAPPY AS CAN BE.
SHE'S KNOWN TO SOME TO BE IN AN ALTERED STATE,
SHE'S KNOWN TO FEW LIVING A LIFE LEFT BEHIND,
THE FEW SAY THAT THEY WERE HER FRIENDS,
WHILST SHE IS AWAY, CHOOSING NOT TO HEAR THEM.
SHE HEARD FROM THE FEW QUITE FREQUENTLY,
BUT THEIR VOICES BECAME LESS AND LESS,
WHILE THEY TRIED REACHING OUT TO HER,
ALL IN VAIN ATTEMPTS.
THERE SHE BE, LYING IN HER DOMAIN,
A FLOWER IN A CELL,
ALL SHE NEEDS IS A RAY OF LIGHT,
ALL SHE GIVES HERSELF IS HELL.
WHO'S TO SAY THAT WE AREN'T THESE FEW
BUT NEVER REALLY HAVE KNOWN IT TRUE
THAT WE LIVE OUR LIVES, AWAY FROM HER,
A FRIEND IN NEED, A FRIEND UNNOTICED.
IN A NEARBY KINGDOM, KNOWN TO ALL,
A GIRL LIVES THERE, KNOWN TO SOME,
SHE HAS A SECRET LIFE, KNOWN TO FEW,
HER PAIN GOES UNNOTICED, KNOWN TO ME.
I didn't even need to look at the back to figure out what that means to him. I'm the other one forsaken, but I'm not exactly like the first. Mimi, the first forsaken one, was forsaken against her will. She was unnoticed because we CHOSE to overlook her. We had new lives, and it was easy to ignore her cries for help. I am the second forsaken one. Unlike Mimi, I chose to be forsaken. I left my friends and family and the one I loved behind, and they can never come back to me now. I am in too deep in this world I made, and there is NO turning back.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Well, this is where you came in. I just finished reading all the poems Davis had wrote. I never knew he was so deep and thoughtful. I remember Chaney telling me that our jokes were untrue, saying that he wasn't as dumb as we made him out to be. I guess, now that I look back on it, that the only reason he was stupid in our minds was because it meant that I'd have to face the fact that people change. I didn't want that. I wanted to be just like I was when I was eight years old: so innocent and loving to everyone. Now look at me: I'm alone in a filthy apartment that I'm about to be evicted out of.
Something else I learned from Davis's poem. I have been lying to myself so much, especially lately. I didn't quit school and work because I needed a break. I got expelled from college, and the Inoues had fired me. I didn't leave TK, he left me because I was a drug abuser and I slept with anybody at the drop of a hat. I guess I was right all those years ago about being Homecoming Queen: that was the height of my lifetime. Since then, it was just a downward spiral.
Of course it's not anybody's fault. Sure, I could've blamed Zero for getting me into the stuff in the first place, or Tai for not trying hard enough, or TK for leaving me to fend for myself. But I won't, because it is all my fault. I deserve what has happened to me, and I'm going to deserve what I do right now.
I walk into the bathroom with Davis's binder in my hands. I start to recite his last poem.
"In a nearby kingdom, known to all," I say as I walk into the bathroom. "A girl lives there, known to some,"
"She has a secret life, known to few," I say as I look at my reflection. "And thinks she's as happy as can be,"
"She's known to some to be in an altered state," I say as I see how filthy and disgusting as I've become. "She's known to few living a life left behind,"
"The few say that they were her friends," I say as I take my dirty and tattered clothing off. "Whilst she is away, choosing not to hear them,"
"She heard from the few quite frequently," I say as I throw my clothes out in the tub. "But their voices became less and less,"
"While they tried reaching out to her," I say as sweep everything off the counter. "All in vain attempts."
"There she be, lying in her domain," I say picking up the hairdryer. "A flower in a cell,"
"All she needs is a ray of light," I say as I throw it into the mirror. "All she gives herself is hell."
"Who's to say that we aren't these few," I say as the shards of glass fall to the ground "But never really have known it true,"
"That we live our lives, away from her," I say as I bend down and pick up a large, sharp piece of the glass, "A friend in need, a friend unnoticed,"
"In a nearby kingdom, known to all," I say as I look at my reflection in the piece, one final time, "A girl lives there, known to some,"
"She has a secret life, known to few," I say as I glide the shard against my skin, creating a crimson path; a few centimeters from the main artery one step closer to ending my pain, "Her pain goes unnoticed, known to..."
Here I am, ready to take my life. Ready for the sweet silence to overwhelm my broken soul. But I can't do it. I can't because of what is written
HER PAIN GOES UNNOTICED, KNOWN TO ME
"Davis, you know what I'm going through," I say to myself. That's what he said I didn't understand. I drop the piece of the mirror on the floor, and I stagger out of the bathroom. "I understand now, Davis," I say aloud. "You know this pain; you're the only one that does." I collapse on my bed, saying. "I understand. I understand..."
--------------------------------EPILOGUE--------------------------------
(3rd Person POV)
Davis Motomiya had just finished his work at the restaurant. He was just finishing making supper, when there was a knock at the door. "Hold on, I'm coming," He says. He walks to the door and swings it open. Kari stood there, looking down at the floor. She had bags under her eyes, and her hair was greasy and knotted. She had on a pink coat and a red scarf around her neck-a vain attempt to look presentable. "H...hello Davis," she says meekly. "I...I b-brought back your binder."
"I...I never expected to see it again," He says with a sad smile. She stares at the floor some more, until she mumbles something inaudible. "What did you say?" Davis asks.
"I said...I said I'm sorry," Kari says, "For how I treated you all those years ago. And for what I've done to myself. Now I'm alone-everyone else has abandoned me." She looks up at Davis, not exactly expecting any sympathy in his eyes, but rather...understanding. "I...I have to leave now." She says. As she turns, Davis grabs her hand. Kari struggles to get away, but Davis looks at her wrist.
"Why did you do this!" Davis says.
"Because...because I wanted it all to go away," She says, finally collapsing into him. He holds her and lets her cry into his shoulders. They remained like that for another five minutes, until Kari says, "Friends...forever?"
"Forever and ever," Davis says, a single tear threatening to fall, "And I promise, I will never forsake you again."
---The End---
Digi-Guy: Oh God! I kept her alive!
Kari: I new you loved me! ***Kari gives Digi-Guy a big hug***
Davis: And you got Kari to not kill herself because of me! That means it's a Daikari fic! ***Davis gives Digi-Guy a big hug for writing a Daikari***
Kari: Davis, I came to you as a friend in this story, I think.
Davis: No, you love me. Isn't that right, Digi-Guy?
Digi-Guy: Did I mention I'm bi? ***Davis stops hugging Digi-Guy and slowly inches away from him*** Anyways, that's my story, and I hope you...
***Crack of whip heard over Digi-Guy's head. Kari screams and runs away; Digi-Guy looks up and sees Mimi with a whip.***
Digi-Guy: Hey, what do you think you're doing?!
Mimi: I'm so pissed off at you! You killed my mom in your stupid story! And you made me yell at everybody. And why do you keep having ME smoke in your stories?!
Digi-Guy: Because I like featuring the cancer-sticks in any story I write. Somebody's gotta endorse those tobacco companies; they don't get to have commercials anymore, after all
***Mimi cracks whip over Digi-Guy again***
Mimi: Okay, enough! You've had your time off! Now get back to writing 'The Final 'Destined'! And I mean NOW!!! ***Mimi cracks whip again***
Digi-Guy: Fine, yeeesh! ~who died and made you Digimon Empress~
