Everyone was finishing their meals when Mario looked at the bill on the restaurant table.
"HOLY SCHMOLY!" Mario shrieked.
"What… OH MY GOD!" Link shouted.
"Hmmm…?" Peach hummed. Peach fainted.
"Let me see it! Yikes!" Snake gagged.
"It can't be that bad…AAAHHH!!!" Pit screamed.
Yoshi entered, apparently late. "What going on? What is it? Did I-" Yoshi said, worried.
Yoshi glanced at the bill. "WOAH!!!"
"Oh, give it here! If anyone can take this it's certainly meeeaaahhh!!! What the!?" Samus screeched.
Kirby peeked over Samus's shoulder. "That wasn't me…" Kirby said.
"Can we get some water for Princess Peach?" Pikachu said.
"Well, it is free…" Mario said, weighing his options.
"Yeah… I'll just go get one…" Snake said, obviously traumatised by the bill.
"God, what's the problem all about…" Pikachu trailed off.
Silence.
Ness said, "What is it? What is it? What… oh! Who? Why? When? Where? Wha-"
DK finished Ness's sentence, "What! HOLY CRAP! Who had all that soup! Who could possibly drink that much soup?"
All eyes turn on Kirby.
"Hey, I swear that it wasn't me!" Kirby said.
"Then if it wasn't you…" Mario said. "Then who was it?"
Silence.
Snake came back with a bottle of water, which he poured onto his napkin and dabbed at Peach's face.
Still silence.
"That was a taaaaaaasty soup! Don't you agree, SONIC!" Fox said, extremely loudly.
"Sure do! Hey, what's with the angry faces, huh? Smile!" Sonic said.
"It's your entire fault, Mario!" Link said.
"My fault?" Mario questioned.
"Yeah! You're the one who told us to come here on a soup day," Link argued.
Peach got up and said, "What's going on? What are you doing here, Snake? This was supposed to be a melee reunion."
"It was?" Snake said, confused.
"No, she's still delusional." Pikachu answered.
"Are you sure?" Snake said. Peach kissed Snake.
"Yes. I'm sure," Pikachu said.
"Look, we'll just have to split the bill," DK said calmly.
"Do any of us even have that kind of money?" Yoshi said, freaking out.
Ness raised his hand.
"Good! You pay for it…" Samus said, sourly.
"No way!" Ness said, angrily.
"I say Mario pays for it!" Link shouted to his friends who took no notice of him.
"Yeah! It was his fault! Make him pay!" Snake and Samus agreed.
"Well, I say you pay for it, Link!" Mario said.
"What did I do?" Link spluttered.
"You got us arguing!" Mario shouted.
A waiter slid in behind them. "Anything wrong?" the waiter asked.
"NO!" everyone shouted at the top of their lungs at him.
"All right, then," the waiter concludes. He then left them to discuss.
"I still say we split it!" DK tried to bargain.
"Yeah!" Fox and Sonic shouted.
"Well, I say we vote on it!" Mario ended the matter.
DK, Snake, Pikachu and Peach agreed.
"Who votes that I pay for it?" Mario said, mockingly.
Snake, Samus, Link and Kirby raised their hands.
"Who votes we split it?" Mario said.
DK, Ness, Fox and Sonic raised their hands.
"And who says we make Link pay for it?" Mario cheered.
Pit, Yoshi, Pikachu, Peach and Mario raised their hands.
"Oh, come on? You OWE me!!!" Link said, beginning to write a cheque.
"Eh, what are you going to do about it." Mario said, quite bored all of a sudden.
"That's it!" Link said. Link prepares to whack Mario on the back of the head.
"Bash his face in!" Samus shouted.
"HI!" Kirby squealed with joy.
"Close your eyes, princess…" Pikachu whispered.
Peach whimpered.
"Stop, stop. I'm sure we can settle this without violence like in melee," DK said.
"Shut up! Let's get on with the killing!" Snake shouted.
"HOLY CRAP!" Yoshi screamed.
"You see, you have to add the vinegar before the salt, right. And it tastes fantastic," Fox explained.
"But I don't get it? Why do you have to add the vinegar first? What's the difference?" Sonic questioned.
"Listen, I've got no idea what the difference is but every time I put the vinegar in first it is terrific," Fox said, satisfied.
"Okay, I'll try it but if it tastes bad then I guess it my cooking," Sonic said, disappointed."
"WTF are you talking about! Focus on what's really important in life! How can you talk about food and cooking at a time like this! Are you crazy? Mad? Why don't y-," Pit shouted.
Samus hit Pit on the back of the head. "Shut up."
"What the f-," Pit almost finished.
Samus hit Pit on the head again, this time knocking him unconscious.
"And that's not just for soups, right?" Sonic asked.
"How about this…" Fox added.
"Why can't you all shut up for one second!!!" Link shrieked.
Everyone went silent. "Thank you."
Link whacked Mario on the back of his head causing his cap to fall onto the table.
Mario growled. Then he punched Link causing him to topple backwards on his chair into Samus's fully armoured leg.
Ouch! Samus threw Link off her and he fell into a plateful of fish.
Link got up and wiped fish from his face and punched Samus in the face.
She got up and slapped him.
Then, Mario picked up Link's chair and broke it over Link's head.
DK buries his face in his hands.
"Fight! Fight! Fight!" Ness chanted. Snake and Kirby joined in.
"Stop!!! There will be no fight here today at all! I'm serious!" DK ordered.
Snake sniggered.
"Well, I guess I'll just have to take that back." DK said, preparing for battle.
DK punched Snake across the room straight into the wall.
"Fight! Fight! Fight!" Ness continued.
So DK picked up Ness and threw him across the table.
Fox and Sonic listened too Ness's final words. "Avenge my death…"
Fox and Sonic said, "Okay!"
Fox took out his gun and spammed DK.
DK turned around and ran towards them.
Sonic jumped up and kicked DK's mouth.
Blood dribbled from DK's mouth.
Reflexes took over and DK whacked Sonic all the way through the giant, glass window causing Sonic to fall two stories.
Outside Sonic landed on the ground in front of Ike who was preparing to open the door to the restaurant.
He jumped back when Sonic's body fell in front of him.
Dropping the present he was holding, Ike ran away, looking back from time to time.
Meanwhile, Fox ran behind Yoshi to use as a shield but Yoshi saw DK running towards him and jumped to the side.
DK prepared to head-butt Fox but he jumped on his head and over to Snake.
Snake kicked straight up into the air, making Fox fly up and hit the ceiling.
Peach looked through half-closed eyes and saw the waiter behind the corner, poking his head out.
Meanwhile, Link got up again and Samus hit him on the head.
Link got up, again and Mario hit him on his head.
Pit got up, picked up a heavy bowl full of soup and hit Samus over the head, REALLY HARD.
She almost fell on top of Link but he rolled out of the way just in time.
Mario was going to stamp on Link but instead he stamped on Samus's head.
Oops… Mario thought.
Pit laughed at Mario just as Link got up and kicked him.
Mario clutched his leg in pain as Link continually pummeled Mario until he'd gotten his revenge.
He then walked over to Samus, preparing to stomp on her face, as Mario had.
DK grabbed Fox as he was still falling at threw him across the room, right into Link before he completed attacking Samus.
Snake ran over with DK and they took turns to punch Fox in the stomach until he was spitting blood.
Sonic returned after regaining confidence from his fall out the window, and charged into DK and Snake, knocking them into the air.
Sonic jumped and kicked Snake in the air but DK managed to squash Sonic in his palms.
Pit was still laughing so when Samus awoke she picked up a bowl of soup (the cause of the entire fight, ha, ha) and threw it into Pit's face.
While Pit screamed from the burns, Samus flung her arm out as she turned around, knocking Mario down.
He got up (now that their truce was over) and grabbed her.
He swung her across the room, right next to the waiter, who ran off in a hurry.
Pit ran to Mario and said, "Want to make a truce?"
"Alright. Let's get Samus," Mario agreed.
Link got up, realizing there was no one to fight, sat down next to Pikachu, Yoshi and Peach.
"Why are they fighting?" Pikachu asked.
"It's fun! Why else would we do it in Melee?" Link said.
Snake rushed over to knee Fox in the face while DK crushed Sonic into a tiny ball and threw him around.
"That is so unfair! I'm going to go help them out," Yoshi said and rushed over to eat Snake.
He gobbled him up, much as he had done with the soup he'd eaten, and spat him out towards DK who punched him.
Yoshi smashed DK with his foot, causing him to drop Sonic, who bashed DK's skull in.
They repeatedly grabbed and threw him to one another while Snake writhed on the ground, in pain.
Pit shot an arrow into Samus's armour, then realizing it was useless, ran over at threw a stone at her.
Mario threw a plate at Samus and Link walked up to Mario.
He pushed him onto Samus and she finally awoke, blood pouring from her head.
She whacked Mario on the back of his head with her fully-armoured gun.
Pit was a bit afraid but then Link grabbed him and started to tear one of his wings off.
Pit screamed and Samus kneed him in the face.
This continued for several minutes until Mario got up and tore some of Samus's hair out.
She screamed and turned around.
Link threw Pit at Mario, but he ducked him and tripped Samus.
Sonic threw DK across the room and he landed on Samus.
Yoshi ran over and ate both of them, swallowing them.
Mario and Sonic owned both of the eggs because they didn't know who was who.
Link went to his chair and picked up his sword.
"Hey! No fair!" Mario said.
Pit got up and took out his sword.
Mario took a wrench out of nowhere.
Everyone picked up a weapon from one place or another and Pikachu said, "Uh, oh."
Peach whimpered.
