Slipping

Her head leant back against the harsh edge of the white china tub. The edge of the bath curved under forming a ridge for her head to rest on. Her hair floated beneath her, the blonde locks gently swimming through the milky waters in which she bathed. Her fingers were clinging to the edge of the tub and her toes pressed against the farthest wall where the gleaming silver of the taps were. She slid forward into the taps, their silver weakly reflected the light, shedding out her appearance. Her eyes were cold hazel, stuck as stones in her face, they lacked emotion and feelings – they lacked movement. She raised one hand from the water to press her fingertips against the harsh skin of her face. Her fingers fell into the deep crevasse of her face as she sighed. It was only these lines that showed how long it had been – a year, a year ago today she had lost the Doctor, and all she had to show for it was lines formed by tears.

Disgusted with her reflection she pulled her face away from the faucets, instead she leant back again so the water lapped calmly against her skin. She had filled the bath with burning water, it leaped up to her chin as she watched as it swayed in little waves crashing carefully into her face. The heat of the water was turning her skin red beneath her, she ran her fingers down her thighs and her skin tingled in reaction to the touch. She closed her eyes and tried not to picture his face – she couldn't.

She raised one hand from the milky water, the remains of the bath bomb running through her fingers, she shook her head as she read the label aloud

'Ne worry pas'. No worries. She shook her head as the dream of a worriless future where she didn't toss and turn in her sleep as her mind filled of him, floated away within the spirals of herbs.

She picked up the razor beside her and began to methodically trace it down her calves, harshly raking over the hair that fought their way to the skin. As her hand moved up and down, it gently shook, leaving tiny red lines in her skin. She pulled her hand away and watched as the gently red path of blood began to seep from her. It swam cautiously into the milky whiteness around it, before fading within. Rose bit her lip and watched the blood fade away as her leg barely stung. She raised the blade again and pulled it faster and harder, over her legs until the blood was stinging as it left, until the milky water became amber with life and death.

She leant her head back and felt her heart pounding in her chest, it was thumping so hard that her bosom gently shook above it. Her skin trembled as she felt her pulse bursting through her body, she could feel the blood pumping into her head in forceful burst s causing her sight to become a blur of colours carefully pin pricked with light.

She gripped her hands on the edge of the tub fighting the stinging pain of her legs as she tried to sit. Instead the black swarmed through her mind forcing her back down, her head dropped against the china prison around her and her chin fell against the water which hungrily leapt against her. She felt it pressing against her lips, the taste of her own blood swimming into her mouth

'No' she whimpered as she felt her body slid from beneath her. Soon the water was washing over her face, forcing itself down her mouth and throat, into the very essence of her as it claimed her. Her fingers trembled against the side of the tub as she slowly gave up the fight and her body became limp.

In her mind she could feel his arms wrapped tightly around her, she could feel him leaning into the bath and scooping her out. She could feel his arms holding her tightly against his chest as he wiped her drenched hair off her face so she could smile down at her. She could feel the warmth of his touch as he touched her cheek and chided her

'Silly girl' he would murmur as she laughed with embarrassment. He would wink and grin at her before setting her on her feet, then he would sweep her into his arms and they would live. Together.

But he wasn't there, and so she faded away as quietly as the night becoming the milkiness that surrounded her. The essence of Rose Tyler faded into nothing as she fell into the darkness, her fingers reaching out for one last touch – one last hand to hold, as she fell into the reality of her life – nothing. Then she was gone.

Little did she know, 50,000,000,000 million light years away – so was he.